Breaking Amish Recap: L is for Lies

Recaps

By Sugarbush | Monday, October 22, 2012 | 1:46 pm | 25 Comments
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Posted in: Breaking Amish, Recaps

Rebecca looks adorable in a bikini, which makes Abe want to propose to her immediately.  This further confirms that male hornballness is natural and not a result of the environment in which they are raised.

Abe wanders off beneath a boardwalk to write “Will u marry me?” in the sand.  He couldn’t remember how to spell “marry”, so the producers spell it out for him.

He takes her to the boardwalk where she can see the writing and drops to his knee.  She said “yes” and she loves the ring.  I hope he wraps that stump before they hump, now.  Eeewwww.

Kate heads to her agency to see the product of her test shoot.  The agency is going to put her up in a models’ apartment.  They’re putting her on a 30-day trial.  She’s a little scared of diving head first into that living situation, which means she must not realize that living in a cramped apartment with 20 other females who haven’t eaten in a month is going to be way more dramatic than where she’s been lately.

Sign here and your soul will officially be ours.

Rebecca and Abe announce to the others that they’re engaged and Kate seems genuinely happy while Sabrina is a little iffy. 

Sabrina is now on her way to meet her birth father.  She recounts the dumpster story and still wants to have a relationship with him.  She approaches a dude who looks like a current or ex drug addict, which tells me the dumpster thing is true.  He asks if she would like to meet her grandma.  The poor old lady is bedridden and cries when she meets Sabrina.  She shows such genuine affection for Sabrina, but her dad never sheds a tear.  She wanted to meet Sabrina before she died.  They tell her that her mom was a great person and loved her a lot.  There are pictures of her all over the place that had been sent to them by her real parents.  I’m so confused.  Can you really love someone you leave in a dumpster.

I’m here, Abuela.  Shall I pull the plug now?

So, now she’s angry with her real parents, because they were communicating with her birth parents without her knowledge.  Are you serious?  This girl needs to get a grip.  Now, I wasn’t adopted, so I don’t know what that’s like.  But, you have got to realize that your parents took you in and loved you and cared for you and had the decency to allow your birth family to see you grow.  They didn’t have to do that, after them leaving you IN A DUMPSTER!  Ungrateful turd.

They found the dumpster where Sabrina was left by her loving parents.

Abe packs up and heads home to tell his family his plans to marry Rebecca.  Momma is still crocheting the same piece.  Abe’s mom is none to happy to hear that Abe has proposed to Rebecca.  The reason?  Rebecca is married to an Amish man.  The boy’s mom told Abe’s mom that Rebecca is her daughter-in-law.  Ouch.  Abe is taken aback and his mom tells him that if he marries her, he can’t come back and resume the Amish life.  I think I’d be willing to drop Rebecca to come back to Cousin Creepy, Momma, and his sister, the female version of Artie Lange.  That looks like a fun group.

Party Central.

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Sugarbush
About

Hi, there!  About me...well, let's see.  I like to think of myself as an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, shrouded in a mystery.  Sometimes my personality doesn't even reconcile in my own head.  I'm a really caring and sensitive person, but I have a dark, dry, sarcastic sense of humor which tends gives the impression that I have no soul.  I am married to a great guy who shares my sense of humor and we have a son who, both fortunately and unfortunately, has his mother's personality.   I'm an independent contractor who works from home and keeps the kid all day, everyday.  I've loved to write my whole life and have big, never-to-be-achieved dreams of one day writing a book.  My favorite past time is laughing, which is what brought me to this site.  I can laugh at almost anything, so beware.

25 Comments

  1. 1
    alice
    Posted October 22, 2012 at 2:03 pm

    seriously tlc????????????? now they’re fakeing it while fakeing it..soooo Rebecca was once married and because another guy popped her open before abe then abe is upset but really is married to her in real life..so is that mom really abe mommy or a actor waiting for a better role..and to make things worst tlc is still pretending that this is real..i would think one more show and should end…

  2. 2
    Musicleader
    Posted October 22, 2012 at 2:10 pm

    Among the top 10 strangest reality shows ever. Why am I compelled to watch? Am I that strange too? As the Amish world turns….

  3. 3
    labowner
    Posted October 22, 2012 at 5:43 pm

    Music – don’t get sucked in to much. All those rabid soap fans are now reality tv fans and it is scary.

  4. 4
    moonbeam1133
    Posted October 23, 2012 at 2:25 pm

    So you caught it too when Abe said “Any human being in the United States…” I was watching with my roommate’s boyfriend from Ecuador and we laughed and laughed at that part…

  5. 5
    labowner
    Posted October 23, 2012 at 3:26 pm

    Did they plan on showing something else in this time period? Is the person responsible for this show related to a higher up at TLC? I don’t get it.

    Maybe Tyra needs to swing through religious land and find herself a new crop of models.

  6. 6
    nancy
    Posted October 23, 2012 at 4:20 pm

    This is the meanest writeup I have ever seen. What is honestly wrong with you? Why would you call her reuniting with her birth father fake? Why call him a drug addict? This is so mean spirited.
    Why make fun of her like that? this review isn’t even funny or sarcastic or witty. it’s crass and mean.

    I fail to see anything fake in the show now. It all was explained and seems to be explained throughout the series. Are you covering your tracks because you all look like fools now? SHAME ON YOU FOR WRITING THIS MEAN SPIRITED UNFUNNY RANT.

  7. 7
    Inkpop
    Posted October 23, 2012 at 5:12 pm

    That whole scene with Sabrina and her “father” and ailing “grandma” was just about the most bizarre thing I’ve ever seen. She has love and respect for him? Her mother loved her dearly? Right, because dumping a baby in the garbage is all about love. What a bogus storyline. The father looked straight out of central casting.

    What a fakety fake fakefest.

  8. 8
    Sugarbush Sugarbush
    Posted October 23, 2012 at 6:38 pm

    @Nancy the Troll – If you think this show is legit, then I have some oceanfront property in Arizona I’d like to sell you.

    By the way, my recap may not be funny or witty, but it is most definitely sarcastic. You might want to look up the definition before using the term. Sarcastic isn’t considered a compliment.

  9. 9
    nancy
    Posted October 23, 2012 at 6:50 pm

    It certainly isn’t satirical. So, yes, your sarcasm is futile. It’s not funny.
    To suggest that her biological dad is a fake is cheap and childish. They casted a bedridden Puurto Rican grandma and dad in Wilmington, Delaware?
    You’re wrong and I WIN!!!!!!

  10. 10
    ecthelion
    Posted October 23, 2012 at 8:19 pm

    Nancy,

    Yeah, you’re right because it is totally illegal and morally wrong to be bedridden AND Puerto Rican anywhere in the US, ESPECIALLY in Wilmington Delaware! Do you have any idea of the penalties they impose if caught???

    ~IF you are being serious you are severely naive and if not then you are just silly in a non funny way~.

  11. 11
    Robin Robin
    Posted October 23, 2012 at 9:23 pm

    If this is the meanest writeup you have ever “seen”, then you haven’t spent much time around here, huh? One of the reasons why;

    SHAME ON YOU FOR WRITING THIS MEAN SPIRITED UNFUNNY RANT AGAINST OUR RECAPPER USING AWFUL SPELLING, TERRIBLE SENTANCE STRUCTURE AND ARGUMENTS VOID OF LOGIC! WE CAN’T MAKE FUN OF YOU NOW!

    When a troll seems a bit dimwitted it is really in bad taste to make fun of them. Especially when they won something!

  12. 12
    NotaNJHousewife
    Posted October 23, 2012 at 10:48 pm

    The troll is too stupid to waste typing on. And btw, Sugarbush, I think you are plenty satirical!

    Sabrina’s father and grandmother were too pathetic to have been faked I think. I was expecting a George Chikiris type, not a toothless skeleton with a cirrhotic belly . I bet she was too.

    And where is the kid Rebecca or somebody supposedly has?

  13. 13
    Robin Robin
    Posted October 23, 2012 at 11:08 pm

    Not really. I didn’t mind the typing and I also think that Sugarbush is plenty satirical, and funny too.

    I am still left wondering how someone won something around here. I want to get to the bottom of that.

  14. 14
    Robin Robin
    Posted October 24, 2012 at 12:33 am

    “Sabrina’s father and grandmother were too pathetic to have been faked I think. I was expecting a George Chikiris type, not a toothless skeleton with a cirrhotic belly . I bet she was too.

    And where is the kid Rebecca or somebody supposedly has?”

    Ding Ding Ding. We have a winner!

  15. 15
    mere2142
    Posted October 24, 2012 at 6:55 am

    I hate this show – yet I can’t stop watching! My co-workers and I are totally obsessed with uncovering all of the lies.

    Love your recaps! Totally don’t get the Sabrina thing. Why would you even want to meet someone who left you in a dumpster?

  16. 16
    mere2142
    Posted October 24, 2012 at 6:57 am

    Oh and I almost forget – what happened to Rebecca’s modesty in the bikini? Remember her at the modeling agency not wanting to wear a bathing suit. Suddenly at the beach with Abe there was no issue? Hmmm…

  17. 17
    labowner
    Posted October 24, 2012 at 11:45 am

    I think Nancy picked up where Charlie Sheen left off – Winning

  18. 18
    NotAlway'sPerfekt
    Posted October 24, 2012 at 1:32 pm

    labowner@17, ROTFLMAO!!!

  19. 19
    Robin Robin
    Posted October 24, 2012 at 4:11 pm

    My Mothers dog is Amish. No shit. She got her from an Amish guy in Pa.

    She is a beautiful German Shepheard. My family is partial to the breed and I grew up with them. This particular dog is so easy breezy and friendly to everyone! My Mom says it is because she is Amish and swears if someone came to the house to rob it, the dog would invite them in, plan a barn raising and send them home with a jar of apple butter.

    TC, Robin

  20. 20
    labowner
    Posted October 25, 2012 at 9:29 am

    Robin does the dog eschew riding in a car?

  21. 21
    Robin Robin
    Posted October 25, 2012 at 3:50 pm

    LOL@labowner

    Its funny that you would say that because she actually does like to ride in the car! My Mom is so proud that Lilly is a rebel in that way!

  22. 22
    labowner
    Posted October 26, 2012 at 11:16 am

    TLC addressed the allegations with this statement: “There is a lot of information floating around about the group featured on Breaking Amish. Much of it is not true, but some of it is — and is addressed in upcoming episodes.” Thus far, TLC’s in-episode explanations have been incredibly lame.

    Yesterday, TLC announced a two-part Breaking Amish reunion special. According to the press release, the cast will “disclose where their relationships currently stand with their family and friends” and address the “questions about the authenticity of their Amish and Mennonite backgrounds.”

  23. 23
    Sallymmmm
    Posted October 26, 2012 at 11:42 am

    So wait.. does that mean Rebecca and Abe’s rumored kid is actually Rebecca’s kid with her actual husband and Abe just took a picture with it and her?

  24. 24
    rebecca pressley
    Posted October 31, 2012 at 5:20 am

    the amish claim to be such good Christians, yet they are the most unforgiving bunch of folk i have ever seen!

  25. 25
    rebecca pressley
    Posted November 5, 2012 at 6:11 am

    My name is rebecca, how strange is that?? seriously, dont mean to be mean, but Abe looks like a retarded person.

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