Breaking Amish Recap: Tits for Tats

Recaps

By Sugarbush | Monday, September 24, 2012 | 12:01 am | 19 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Breaking Amish, Recaps

Jeremiah is finished with his tattoo and it’s hideous.  He actually thanks the guy because he has no idea that it’s 100 kinds of fug.

Jeremiah’s next tattoo.

The ticket for the super-fantastic, happy sushi extravaganza comes and Abe faints in shock over the $42 bill.  For people eating sushi in NYC for $42 is nothing, which Sabrina quickly points out.  Because Rebecca is in love and wants to impress Abe, she refuses to tip more than $6.  Kate and Sabrina think that’s rude, so they force them to throw in a few more bucks which they claim they’ll pay back when they get some more cash.  What, now they have bank accounts?

Jeremiah heads off to some lame-ass clothing store and gets a douchey outfit to wear.  He runs into a bachelorette party who are already three sheets to the wind, making them find his tattoo incredibly sexy.  He seems to think he’s going to get laid, bu they quickly wander off to Banana Slings.

Next us is a store decorated in some great stuff like Iggy Pop and drag queens.  Jeremiah tells us that he’s been kicked out of the Amish community 3 times and has never been to a place like this.  A sales guy who looks like a cross between CeCe Deville and Perry Farrell approaches him and tells him that his clothes suck and he needs to get more rock and roll.  I’m with you, CeCe Farrell.  The first thing he does is grabs him a Slash-style top hat and then coaxes him into tight-ass pants.  Jeremiah files out of the store after feeling CeCe’s boner knocking on his round brown door.

Let me know if it’s starts to tingle.  That means it’s working.

I have no idea what time of year it’s supposed to be, but there are fireworks going off over the water and it blows away the kiddos.  Jeremiah meets up with the others to show off his badass new look.  He strikes up a conversation with the cabbie and scoffs at the idea that a NYC cabbie’s job could be difficult.  Jeremiah feels that shoveling horse doo-doo is far harder than memorizing all of the streets of New York City.  I have to say, I can’t tell you which one I’d rather do, either.  He went two blocks and paid $13.  It bothered him and he told the cabbie how expensive that is.  

 Just don’t screw me on the tip, asshole.

Jeremiah shows up to tell the others that he got a tattoo.  The kids think the artwork is crazy good, which just goes to show they don’t learn about art in the Amish community.

The next Biblical musing we get is about women dressing modestly, which means the girls will start whoring it up now.  Kate and Rebecca go down to the business center at the hotel to research modeling agencies in the area.  They call around and finally land interviews, so they go shopping for slut clothes.

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Sugarbush
About

Hi, there!  About me...well, let's see.  I like to think of myself as an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, shrouded in a mystery.  Sometimes my personality doesn't even reconcile in my own head.  I'm a really caring and sensitive person, but I have a dark, dry, sarcastic sense of humor which tends gives the impression that I have no soul.  I am married to a great guy who shares my sense of humor and we have a son who, both fortunately and unfortunately, has his mother's personality.   I'm an independent contractor who works from home and keeps the kid all day, everyday.  I've loved to write my whole life and have big, never-to-be-achieved dreams of one day writing a book.  My favorite past time is laughing, which is what brought me to this site.  I can laugh at almost anything, so beware.

19 Comments

  1. 1
    alicecarroll13
    Posted September 24, 2012 at 1:03 am

    the learning channel should be ashamed of them selfs..putting fake amish people on tv or people that were amish 15 years ago..these amish chicks over the last 10 years have bared more skin then a date with paris hilton..theres photos of them on the internet..and these guys..holy sweet jesus and the pope……………they have markings and ear rings in places other then their ears..over all these people are more sexual and wild then the people in new york……..at lest tlc could have done was find real amish who leave for real…!!!
    next thing we’ll be finding out is honey boo boo really lives in beverly hills and the duggers are satan worshipers….

  2. 2
    Lilly19
    Posted September 24, 2012 at 5:42 am

    This show is a down right disgrace . A man who used to live with jeremiah claimed he is divorced with 3 children. He is around 32 yrs old, and has not been a practicing amish for 10 years or so. He was married in 2005 and divorced in 2011. The man who posted this claimed he took Jeremiah in bc he was living out of his truck, he also said that jeremiah does not take care of his kids, and has some kind of criminal record ( for theft or something) . Also the 3 names he got on his tattoo, are apparently his children’s names. He has 2 daughters ages 7 and 3 and a 5 year old son
    Also pictures and rumors have surfaced about rebecca and abe. The two apparently have a little girl together. Sabrina is pictured kissing a boy and is rumored to have been married before. As for Kate there are pictures of her entering a smiling contest on myspace years back. Here are some sites with the pictures and more info. TLC is claiming they will address these issues later in the series..
    TLC has been caught in the act and i personally can not wait to see what they have to say about all this

    http://xamishatheist.com/2012/09/10/tlcs-breaking-amish-the-scandal-of-jeremiah-raber/

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2206755/Breaking-Amish-Is-TLC-fake.html

  3. 3
    billy
    Posted September 24, 2012 at 9:44 am

    Ok we all know reality shows are face but I was pretty disappointed to find out how fake this one was. I was truly excited to learn about this stuff but now I just find myself questioning everything in the show.

    “One is actually a model. Abe and Rebecca have a child together. Jeremiah is divorced with three kids and has not seen another Amish person in 14 years. Sabrina is married and loves going out to clubs in short skirts and heels. All of the awe shucks things in New York City and the getting on an airplane for the first time aren’t true.”– from CDAN Sept. 22nd

  4. 4
    labowner
    Posted September 24, 2012 at 10:33 am

    The bullshit meter with this show is broken it is so lame. Where did they get all this money from?

  5. 5
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted September 24, 2012 at 11:29 am

    Thanks everybody, for the background stories on this show. I was looking forward to getting around to watching this show, but now I’ve just erased the first several episodes that I had sitting on my DVR. There is only so much bullshit I can handle.

  6. 6
    Sunshine
    Posted September 24, 2012 at 12:57 pm

    Jeremiah sees himself as Mel Gibson when he is really more like Donald Duck. I am not surprised to hear he has kids and his background is what it is. What person right off the Amish farms would pick that store to go buy clothes in right off the bat? Seriously? And what is going on with all that money they have?

    When Kate said in the first episode that her mother had an affair with an Amish taxi driver and was shunned for a few weeks I knew this was all b.s. First of all I hope she meant a taxi driver who drives the Amish around and not an Amish taxi driver because the Amish DO NOT DRIVE …..and secondly….I’ve never heard of shunning being a few weeks….you are in or you are out…just like on Project Runway LOL

    I wont’ tape it any longer but I will watch it if nothing else is on and LOVE these recaps.

    I missed the first few mins of the show…does anyone know how these kids all came to be picked up and brought to the city? Did they mention how this opportunity came about?

    I still like me some Honey Boo Boo better than this….sketti over sushi for me!

  7. 7
    alicecarroll13
    Posted September 24, 2012 at 1:40 pm

    i laughed when the two girls said they would’nt put on bikinis..i’ve seen pics of the model…trust me she has no problem showing flesh..and is this lady really a mom or a actress…….its too bad the girls are hot in their amish dresses …i wonder where abe and Rebecca’s child is..this show now has me question some of the shows on tlc..like sister wifes…1 man 4 wifes..who cant enter utah or their screwed..

  8. 8
    Sunshine
    Posted September 24, 2012 at 1:56 pm

    @alicecarroll…and one of the sisterwives is now helping women leave polygamy….you know..the ones that don’t like it like she does…..cuz their husband makes enough money to buy three houses in one day and support 30 kids with no trouble.

  9. 9
    TurtleGirl93 TurtleGirl93
    Posted September 24, 2012 at 6:28 pm

    Bwahahahaha. Granted my “knowledge” of Amish and Mennonites stems mainly from books I’ve read (namely “The Bobbsey Twins and the Four Leaf Clover Mystery”, Nancy Drew’s “The Witch Tree Symbol” and author Tamar Myers’ Pennsylvania Dutch mystery series) so I’m not an expert by any means. Oh but I did met some Amish at the farmers’ market near the Penn State campus when I visited my brother; they were very quiet.
    I’m less than 4 minutes into the first episode and I’m already confused. Are we supposed to think these kids are going out on their rumspringas? Because they’re already using words that I feel are too wordly for them (balls, sucks, shacking, like). Not at all like the Amish who live in my books.

  10. 10
    kinickimac
    Posted September 24, 2012 at 8:17 pm

    Hey… did Abe say “I’ll text you later” to his mother when she was getting into the cab? Or, did I just hear that and he said something different?

  11. 11
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted September 25, 2012 at 12:13 am

    This show might not be the most educational in the world. But it can be its own kind of hoot. If you think of it as more of a reality inspired hybrid.

    Here’s some other Amish shows that aren’t even close to this bad. Some of them you do learn stuff. Even the Natl Geo 1. The rest are UK shows though. You can find even more if you want to google. There’s been a mess of them the last few yrs.

    Amish – The World’s Squarest Teenagers
    Amish teenagers spend their romspringa time living with different walk of life families in UK

    Living with the Amish
    UK kids from World’s Squarest Teenagers show come spend their vacay with Amish families

    Amish Out of Order
    Mose Gingerich is this ex Amish guy that helps Amish that want to get out. And get settled in the regular world.

    Amish a Secret Life
    A family that’s super religious but not really happy being Amish any more is thinking of swapping over to a break away sect. Or something. But they want to keep most of the ways.

  12. 12
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted September 25, 2012 at 10:07 am

    @Kthxy, you are a well-spring of facts about subcultures, and I love having you sharing them. I’ve watched AOoO with Mose, and although his monotone tends to be a tad grating, the show is informative. Driving on side roads in central Wisconsin can be a bit dicey because you do have to obey the road signs and watch for buggies.

    Amish, like other subcultures, tend to be quiet, modest, and prone to avoiding the prying eyes of outsiders, so this group of hipster wannabes are just other faux gypsy clones. Entertaining, but like sci-fi, don’t mistake it for the real thing.

  13. 13
    XxinnocentexX
    Posted September 25, 2012 at 9:10 pm

    Why is it that, even knowing that this show is fake….and still somehow incredibly boring, I can’t bear to remove it from my DVR recording list?

  14. 14
    ellemenop
    Posted September 26, 2012 at 11:08 am

    @xxinnocentexx — ugh, tell me about it. i could tell during the first few minutes that it was fake, and i was rolling my eyes and shouting at the tv by the second half of the first episode, YET I CONTINUE TO WATCH. why, why?!

  15. 15
    Lizbot
    Posted September 26, 2012 at 4:04 pm

    Ok, I have a question to add that might or might not be relevant. But I thought the Amish are not allowed to drive OR ride in motorized vehicles? So how did Rebecca’s grandfather and Abe’s mother get to New York? I’m pretty sure it would be tough for them to travel there by horse and buggy — although, the tourists do use it to get around NYC, but still.

    TLC has annoyed me for years with their programming. I used to enjoy their shows so much — back when “The Learning Channel” was actually a credible name for them.

  16. 16
    ellemenop
    Posted September 27, 2012 at 8:44 am

    @lizbot — as far as i know, amish are definitely allowed to ride in motorized vehicles if it is absolutely necessary … i don’t think it’s all that uncommon; they just can’t drive them. not that it would matter if they weren’t; i’m sure tlc would try to tell us they got there on a spaceship and that it’s totally normal to see that.

  17. 17
    alicecarroll13
    Posted September 30, 2012 at 9:35 am

    now tlc claims that soon they’re going to explain things………………soon………..maybe not tomorrow……soon!!!

  18. 18
    XxinnocentexX
    Posted October 1, 2012 at 7:14 am

    elle, okay, you seem to be more invested in this than me!! haha. I can’t seem to stop watching it, but I’m more muttering in my head through the entire episode than actually yelling. That’s too much energy for this garbage. lol

    And am I wrong in asking…wouldn’t they be shunned anyway for leaving the community and going to NYC? So I think regardless of transportation, they would be shunned anyway…you know, if this were real.

    And yes, TLC needs to get a new name, because there’s no actual learning going on any more, but I can’t seem to stop watching Bling It On either. Then again, I am learning about the atrocities people are actually willing to put on their bodies in the name of “fashion” and a tv show.

  19. 19
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted October 1, 2012 at 8:30 am

    @Xxxinny, I agree that TLC needs a new name. How about the Sci-Fi Channel? Nobody is using it.

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