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Abe sits out in the lobby while Jeremiah gets endless lap dances from two chicks. He’s wasted and tells us about his boner. He lectures Abe on the cab ride home about how you don’t let women control your life and once you get married, it’s over. That would explain his divorce.
Back at home, Abe tells Rebecca about the strip club and that he refused to go in there out of respect for her. That makes her smile and, if this were a real situation, I would think that’s super sweet. I also remember when Mr. Sugarbush and I were dating and he said that he didn’t want me to go home, because he wanted to wake up next to me. He didn’t want to have sex, he just wanted me there beside him. Once upon a time, he was sweet. Now, it’s all guilt and whining.
Sabrina goes to her first day of work where she’s handed a big menu that she must memorize. She’s having a hard time pronouncing Spanish words and has to start serving people. She attends to one table where they are only speaking Spanish. They chastise her for not speaking Spanish while working in a Spanish restaurant. I’m pretty sure that no one speaks Chinese at Pei Wei or Italian at Olive Garden. She tells them several times that she doesn’t speak Spanish, but they continue though it’s clear they speak English as their primary language. That means that a) they’re assholes, and b) the producers told them to do that.
Jeremiah heads out to Queens for his road test. He has a female instructor today, so this should be trouble. She perches her water bottle on the console instead of the cup holder and then berates him each time it falls over. I’d think she was an ass if I didn’t hate Jeremiah so much. He confirms this feeling by telling the instructor that he “and the bitches don’t get along”. You know, for a guy who looks like he’s wearing bubba teeth from the candy machine he sure thinks a lot of himself. He passes. Whoopity-doo.
The kids now head out to an Italian street fair where they get chair massages from Asian people. Sounds Italian to me! Then, someone hollers “Snookie” as Sabrina strolls by. That would be funny if she looked or acted anything like Snookie. And they all know who Snookie is, which is worse. The evil that is Jersey Shore has penetrated even the Amish and Mennonite communities.
They go to eat dinner and Kate and Sabrina immediately jump into a huge bottle of wine. They quickly turn into the loud drunk chicks, which embarrasses the rest of the table. The girls do one smart thing while they’re drunk – they start to beat the shit out of Jeremiah with their purses. Jeremiah, being the genius that he is, approaches them again only to get slammed by a plate of Tiramisu right in the face. He bolts to the production van to wipe off his face while Sabrina gives the drunk apology – “Gosh! I’ll never try to feed anyone Tiramisu again!” Meanwhile, Kate is crying to the cameras about how they were only breaking his ribs with their purses out of love.