Breaking Amish Recap: Yes, This Show is Still Fake

Recaps

By Sugarbush | Friday, October 12, 2012 | 4:00 pm | 8 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Breaking Amish, Recaps

Abe, Rebecca, and Jeremiah head out to the Laundromat to do their laundry.  Jeremiah refuses to do it, because it’s a woman’s job.  Rebecca tells him that he’s not going to find himself an English girl that’ll let him sit on his ass and order her around.  At least she’s got a good idea of English women.  While I do do most of the household chores and everything else, if my husband ever ordered me to do anything, he would have to go on a scavenger hunt to find his balls.

Abe thinks that he should do his own laundry if he’s the one wearing the clothes.  Jeremiah doesn’t know why Abe is OK with doing his own laundry.  This is why Abe has a girlfriend and Jeremiah is single.  Jeremiah is a true misogynist and I can’t stand him.  He thinks that Abe is pussy whipped simply for doing his own laundry.  He has this idea that because he grew up with Amish women doing everything for him, he’s going to make his woman do everything.  But, if you want to be English you can’t expect an Amish lifestyle, Jeremiah. 

Kate goes to get a bikini, because her agency wants her to have one for auditions.  Meanwhile, Rebecca heads to the front desk asking about mail.  The lady at the desk feigns ignorance as to their room number.  “What room is it?  The one with the kids being followed around by cameras, huge lights, and boom mics?” 

Rebecca takes their single piece of mail up to her room.  This envelope is only addresses to the room – not a person in particular.  Gee, this doesn’t seem at all set up.  I mean, most people staying at a hotel get a phone message about having a single piece of mail waiting for them only to find it addresses to the room with no name on it. 

She opens it up to more dramatic music.  As we all know, it’s a print out of Kate’s DUI arrest info.  She calls Abe and summons him to the room to review this horrible revelation. 

Next week, Kate’s still a drunken mess, Jeremiah is still a horses ass, and Sabrina finds out about her birth parents. 

Until next week,

Sugarbush xoxo

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Sugarbush
About

Hi, there!  About me...well, let's see.  I like to think of myself as an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, shrouded in a mystery.  Sometimes my personality doesn't even reconcile in my own head.  I'm a really caring and sensitive person, but I have a dark, dry, sarcastic sense of humor which tends gives the impression that I have no soul.  I am married to a great guy who shares my sense of humor and we have a son who, both fortunately and unfortunately, has his mother's personality.   I'm an independent contractor who works from home and keeps the kid all day, everyday.  I've loved to write my whole life and have big, never-to-be-achieved dreams of one day writing a book.  My favorite past time is laughing, which is what brought me to this site.  I can laugh at almost anything, so beware.

8 Comments

  1. 1
    ellemenop
    Posted October 12, 2012 at 6:21 pm

    “The girls do one smart thing while they’re drunk – they start to beat the shit out of Jeremiah with their purses.” — bahahaha. so true.

  2. 2
    alicecarroll13
    Posted October 12, 2012 at 11:47 pm

    next week we might see abe break into Rebecca’s toybox “the second time”..bet he knocks her up and then next season we’ll see their real child!!
    hey tlc!!!! are you going rated xxxx with the strip bar..hope no children were watching this..

  3. 3
    Wasabipeas wasabipeas
    Posted October 13, 2012 at 7:48 am

    I don’t get this show at all. What is the point? Are they reenacting their stories, or is it all made up? I don’t understaaaaaaaaaaaaand!!!!

  4. 4
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted October 13, 2012 at 9:00 am

    @Sugarbush You’re doing a great job on this mess. Specially having to do double duty. But if TLC does anything like this again I think Sonja from RHNY should loan Tvgasm 1 of her interns. To do the research part. And the recapper’s laundry.

    The stupidest part is their actual stories would make so much better tv. And with more than enough drama. TLC had to know it would all get out. Which makes me suspicious they did it on purpose.

    Another thing about their real stories. I think like 2 of them are adopted. And Rebecca had a single mom. So it’s got me wondering. Do Amish people make a distinction? To where they might’ve been treated differently?

  5. 5
    labowner
    Posted October 15, 2012 at 11:18 am

    “I also remember when Mr. Sugarbush and I were dating and he said that he didn’t want me to go home, because he wanted to wake up next to me. He didn’t want to have sex, he just wanted me there beside him. Once upon a time, he was sweet. Now, it’s all guilt and whining.”

    “if my husband ever ordered me to do anything, he would have to go on a scavenger hunt to find his balls.”

    Sugarbush, thanks for the sweet incites into your life and the laughs in this recap. I know it’s reality, but someone should still care about the finished product.

  6. 6
    Terrence
    Posted October 17, 2012 at 12:24 pm

    I’m not a woman and haven’t been…down there before, but was taken aback by the comment about getting it on after giving birth. I would think a gal would need a little more time to recover but I guess he had to have it lol.

    Yeah that was so not polite dinner conversation.

    As far as the “scandal”. I don’t know with reality shows I try to suspend disbelief. The shot in the theme song with Abe jumping on the trampoline while wearing his Amish suit is still hilarious to me. I just saw an Amish walking down the street in DC by the Capitol building so I guess they like to go sightseeing like the rest of us.

  7. 7
    ellemenop
    Posted October 17, 2012 at 12:47 pm

    @terrence — uhhh … i’ve never had a baby, but if my husband tried to have sex with me at the hospital after i delivered, he would have to have a death wish. i don’t think most (any???) women would take too well to that situation.

  8. 8
    bakedgoodsinnyc
    Posted May 20, 2013 at 9:42 pm

    they’ve already exposed the actors on the show at this site:

    http://www.breakingamishfake.com

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