Breaking Amish Series Premier Recap: Let the Good Times Roll

Recaps

By Sugarbush | Thursday, September 13, 2012 | 10:48 am | 31 Comments
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Posted in: Breaking Amish, Recaps

Sorry for the super-delay of getting this recap up.  I jumped the fence myself (bought my first house) and will never do it again.  I’ve been very good and didn’t murder a single person.  Because of that, I am free to watch TV for you.  So, let us begin…

Bear with me here, because this is just the introductory episode, which means it’s just a lot of information.  We start out the series with a preview of this season with tons of dramatic music and ominous tones.  We get to see one girl cry about going to hell, a guy terrified of the bishop’s wife, a father shunning his daughter, and a girl getting a DUI.  So, this is bound to be your typical reality show.

First up is Rebecca who has a lovely, angelic face juxtaposed with a burly voice.

“My darlin’, Iiii can’t get enough of your love, baaaaaby!”

We start out with Rebecca washing the laundry in a tub at 5AM, to which I cry, “fuuuuuuck that!”  She introduces us to the outhouse – give me a moment while I retch.  They aren’t allowed to have phones in their homes, so she shows us the phone house at the edge of the property.  They have a china cabinet that houses the hopes and dreams of each household member.  I see a lot of tacky china and collectible spoons – big, big dreams.

Rebecca tells us that leaving the community is called “jumping the fence”, which is exactly what she’s about to do. 

Next, we have Abe, who is also Amish.  Abe and his gang like to jump on trampolines in their rare spare time.  I’d be lying if I said that I wouldn’t find hopping around on a trampoline loads of fun.  However, I’m extremely out of shape and haven’t been near a trampoline in 15 years, so I’d probably break a hip.

Speaking of 15, that’s the age when Abe left schoolin’ for workin’.  He believes his reading level is around that of a second grader.  He left school, because he didn’t see that an education would help him chop wood.  Abe introduces us to Momma, his sister, and his brother.  They all look thrilled to be there and be filmed, which is completely against their religion, so we can see that this show is very respectful. 

Abe says he hasn’t had fun in two years. 

I’m totally surprised. 

Abe tells his mom and sister that he’s leaving for New York.  Momma tells him that he’s going to be shunned when he leaves, so she’s going to do everything in her power to try to stop him.  She’s quite convincing, what this her firm voice and animated demeanor.

This is my sister.  Her rules are no bras, no smiles, and no fun.

Kate is 24 and the bishop’s daughter, which means she’ll be the biggest slut.  She looks like she’s plucked her eyebrows, wears makeup, and dyes her hair.  If she doesn’t, then I hate her.  When I’m not wearing makeup and have my hair pulled back…so, every moment of my life, basically…I look like an ugly 12-year-old boy with tits.  I am jealous of every woman who can go around sans makeup and look pretty and feminine.  Just sayin’.

I’ve been working on the “duck lips” pose for going out into the real world of Facebook and clubbing.

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Sugarbush
About

Hi, there!  About me...well, let's see.  I like to think of myself as an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, shrouded in a mystery.  Sometimes my personality doesn't even reconcile in my own head.  I'm a really caring and sensitive person, but I have a dark, dry, sarcastic sense of humor which tends gives the impression that I have no soul.  I am married to a great guy who shares my sense of humor and we have a son who, both fortunately and unfortunately, has his mother's personality.   I'm an independent contractor who works from home and keeps the kid all day, everyday.  I've loved to write my whole life and have big, never-to-be-achieved dreams of one day writing a book.  My favorite past time is laughing, which is what brought me to this site.  I can laugh at almost anything, so beware.

31 Comments

  1. 1
    alicecarroll13
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 11:18 am

    a few years ago i was on a bus in maine traveling from portland to augusta and there was a very large family of amish..with grannys..children..moms and dads and babies ..these people brought their own food in baskets..my mistake was i was useing a handheld videogame..they did’nt let this at all..they looked at me like i was the devil!!! one mother looked like she was going to slap my in the head with the bible!!!
    couple of these girls on the show are kind of hot..cant wait to see what happens with them all!!

  2. 2
    Jane and Blanche Jane and Blanche
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 11:21 am

    Great recap! There was a show several years ago on the WB, I think, that was similar to this one I’m glad another network is doing this type of show and I’m glad you’re recapping it, so funny!

  3. 3
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 11:41 am

    LOL @Sugarbush I got to the duck lips pose for Facebook and clubbing and had to put Kleenex in my eyes!

    I’m so glad you’re doing this show. I can tell it’s going to be a hoot!

  4. 4
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 12:48 pm

    Well, I don’t knows whether the show or your recaps will be funnier, but I’m in.

  5. 5
    BelowSeaLevel BelowSeaLevel
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 1:15 pm

    Congratulations on the new home, Sugarbush! Loved your recap!

  6. 6
    Pyper
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 1:23 pm

    Could Abe’s sister be any more less model-like ? What would one have to do to turn that frown upside down… probably a good ole Double Cheesburger/fries and a milkshake…
    Love the editing, one head interview Kates got some chicken McNuggett sized zit, and the next.. poof they are gone.. Dang, now I am hungry.. off to Mickey D’s…

  7. 7
    whatwhat
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 1:30 pm

    Really annoyed with this show. Was expecting it to be interesting, and it turned out to be a gigantic scripted piece of crap. Jeremiah isn’t even Amish, and hasn’t been Amish for years. He’s divorced and has kids. People started pointing it out right after the show aired. I’m assuming everyone else is just as scripted.

  8. 8
    TVKimmy TVKimmy
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 1:51 pm

    I’m all in, fake or not. The recaps are going to be tff to miss out on. :D

    I came to the realization, about half way through viewing, that I’d be the Antichrist to these people. lol

  9. 9
    caligal
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 1:58 pm

    LMAO@TVKimmy…the thought of a Gasmii being the Antichrist and the rest of us Gasmii snarkily running around to do your bidding! :)

  10. 10
    caligal
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 1:59 pm

    Oh, and great recap SB! I’m definitely in for this one! :)

  11. 11
    labowner
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 2:22 pm

    I’ll read the recaps, but this looks as real as MBFAGW.

    Wonder what will happen to the families that allowed their children/homes to be filmed? Kids can’t say cameras can come into the house etc.

  12. 12
    mere2142
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    I’m in as well! I loved this shit, right down to the overly dramatic music and horror movie editing.

    How much would it suck to be adopted into an Amish family? Isn’t it interesting that two of the four are adopted? I wonder if that plays more into their wanting to ‘jump the fence’.

  13. 13
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 2:57 pm

    Sugarbush…great recap!

    From 13 to 18 I lived in a small town in northeast Iowa that had a large Amish population. I believe 2nd largest to Lancaster, Pa.
    Uhhhhhmmmm remember I was in highschool.
    We called them “hookies” because they would hook up their buggies.
    Anyway…
    My best friends and I on Saturday mornings would go on “hookie runs” to get over our hangovers and to get out of the house.
    “Hookie runs” were like going to a farmer’s market in a car. We would stop and get mud pies, veggies, eggs.

    When I would go to Kansas City to see my sister (as an adult) just 10 miles from the Iowa/Missouri state line (only stopped in the fall) I would stop to stock up on elderberry jelly.
    If you have never had elderberry jelly…you are missing out on a wonderful jelly.
    Seems like the amish are the only ones that make elderberry jelly anymore,
    Tis a shame.

  14. 14
    lovesthehobbitses
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 6:40 pm

    Okay call me a total idiot, but if these people really were true Amish folk, how did they even hear about this show in the first place? We hear casting calls online or on TV… did TLC just go to every Amish village and post a flyer for anyone who was interested in being shunned from their community and running away to New York?

  15. 15
    hot cawfee
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 5:33 am

    Shunning???– come on kids— In Cawfee’s childhood home it was called “the silent treatment”. I have had it manys the time– ya ride it out.

  16. 16
    hot cawfee
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 5:47 am

    “a proper submissive wife”– sweet Jeebus– that gave me chills. I knew there was a reason why I am not a Mennonite. 5 minutes of my highly opinionated, won’t-walk-behind-a-man, independent,I-won’t-wait for -a-man’s-permission-to-speak sassy self and I would be tossed over that fence!!

    This looks interesting–my thoughts too @14 Hobbitses–if they are supposed to be kept from society and all its evil trappings how did they find out about this show??? MTV’s True Life did an episode of Amish young people who left their communities for the “English” world.

    I havent watch the show yet–but it looks promising—Altho we wont get to see Abe’s sister.

    Congrats on the house SugarB!!!!!!

  17. 17
    jp
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 6:20 am

    Now this is a creative reality tv show, hopefully we all learn something. I am glad this will be recapped.

  18. 18
    eyediosmio Reagirl
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 8:05 am

    @whatwhat – really? Divorced with kids? THe hell is that about!!!

  19. 19
    labowner
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 9:44 am

    Hot wasn’t show more about their excursions (they have a name for it) where they get to go let off steam but eventually they come back to the fold like good sheep?

  20. 20
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 10:49 am

    @labowner I wonder if they’re doing it for their romspringa. Like they did on the UK show. They don’t have baptism ceremony for babies in their religion. It’s only after romspringa that they can join it.

    I don’t know how that guy’s family got to be on camera. But I bet somebody’ll find out!

  21. 21
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 11:21 am

    @Kthxy, we meet again for another subculture. I was thinking Romspringa too. Seemed more final, however.

  22. 22
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    @snowshoecat! (=^-ェ-^=)丿

    We’ve got another 1 coming too! I didn’t forget Natl Geo. I’ll put it in the forum when I get caught up.

  23. 23
    Itsallokay
    Posted September 15, 2012 at 11:44 pm

    I’m curious what is sacred here(@tvgasm)? I recorded this show b/c nothing else was on and I am genuinely interested in shows about other cultures, then I saw it recapped (yeah!) so after watching it, I figured we should all call human services. Seriously. I was sad watching it and really upset reading comments. Snark above and beyond, unless you know that all worked out somewhat OK for these kids.
    We should all be starting a fund for these kids. It’s hard to know how “reality TV” has bent the the truth, but doesn’t this break anyone’s heart? Get out of amish hell and never see your family again? I don’t know, this made me tear up a bit.

  24. 24
    Itsallokay
    Posted September 16, 2012 at 3:14 pm

    OMG! I did NOT mean to send this. Or even mean. Don’t drink and comment. Sorry.

  25. 25
    Sheryl
    Posted September 17, 2012 at 3:53 am

    Really do want to know how these people heard about the opportunity. Did TLC go into communities and stir up crap and dissatisfaction? Illicit TVs in the community? Maybe a computer or two? Really, how?

  26. 26
    Terrence
    Posted September 17, 2012 at 10:04 am

    I watched it and loved it. I’ve always been fascinated by the Amish. Yes some of the shots were a bit fake and movieish but it still worked. Will def be watching.

  27. 27
    labowner
    Posted September 17, 2012 at 11:19 am

    Terrence my friend as well loves the Amish. To the point he almost killed us one night (I believe we saw Mennonites as they were driving). We were traveling one evening and Germ (nick name) was driving and a van of bearded men past us as if we were standing still. “Amish” Germ yells out, steps on the gas and proceeds to chase them down the highway. Wonder what they thought of the albino freak chasing them.

    Wonder if they will hang out an protest with the Occupy folks?

  28. 28
    flalady
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 8:28 am

    Why do they call children of unmarried parents “bastards”? It’s not the child’s fault. Don’t label the people who had nothing to do with it! Label the parents!

  29. 29
    labowner
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 9:51 am

    flalady because that is a way to shame the parents.

    As my Jewish friend told me when I joked about them having a “bastard” child he said “Ha, ha. That is how I know who my Catholic friends are as we are Jewish and don’t have bastard children.”

  30. 30
    flalady
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 12:16 pm

    It doesn’t shame the parents, it only shames the children! I was born to an unmarried woman, but adopted by two wonderful loving parents. I resent being called “bastard” or “illegitimate”. I’m just as legitimate as the next person!

  31. 31
    labowner
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 12:34 pm

    My self esteem is good enough I don’t care if you call me illegitmate, bastard whatever. Life is what it is.

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