Breaking Amish Series Premier Recap: Let the Good Times Roll

Recaps

By Sugarbush | Thursday, September 13, 2012 | 10:48 am | 31 Comments
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Posted in: Breaking Amish, Recaps

Rebecca is getting ready to tell her best friend that she’s leaving the community.  She’s making breakfast for her two cousins who are not-at-all confusingly named Ben.  Rebecca is a bastard child from a man who was not Amish, so she has no idea who is her daddy.  She’s the only known bastard in the community.  Ben 1 doesn’t like the idea of Rebecca going to New York and doesn’t want her to miss Grandpa’s funeral if he were to die.  Ben 2 doesn’t talk much.

“Hi, I’m Rebecca, this is my brother Ben, and this is my other brother Ben!”

Sabrina is going to tell her friend Rose that she’s going to New York to wear cowboy boots and earrings.  Rose worries about her paling around with Satan and getting lost in his eyes. 

Abe asks Andy, his brother, what he thinks of Abe going to New York.  He says he’ll come to visit, but that his parents probably won’t because they run the risk of getting shunned.  Abe thinks Andy will be all over hot chicks if he visits him in New York and Andy’s reaction is a sly smile of a horny 13-year-old boy. 

Well, the only thing on my mind, Gene, is “pussy”.

Kate has been staying with friends in Florida for several weeks before heading up to New York with the rest of the crew.  Kate got her license and went out drinking with some friends.  She forgot to turn on her headlights when she started to drive home, so she was arrested for DUI and had to spend the night in jail.  She shows up to her court date in her Amish gear, which I’m sure is not in the least a sly move on her part. 

Kate takes a moment to study up on her future “modeling” career in porn rags.

She says she blew twice the legal limit, but swears she only had a couple of drinks.  Apparently, there are some things that are inherently human rather than something that comes from culture – attempting to bullshit your way out of trouble.

Jeremiah’s girlfriend of two years is coming over and he’s going to tell her about going to New York.  He asks Iva if she likes the Amish life and she replies that she needs nothing more than what she now has.  She’s really pretty and I’m getting tired of seeing these beautiful girls who wear no makeup while I sit here looking like a troll under a bridge.  Iva is upset because they have been planning to marry in the fall.  Iva walks away and tells him she’ll never see him again.  It’s OK, Jeremiah.  You’ll probably go get laid the first week you arrive in New York, because that’s what virgin boys do.

Sabrina shows us around her house.  She has electricity, is allowed to listen to Christian radio (as a Christian, I can full-heartedly say that she’s getting screwed over on that “allowance”), and she’s allowed to read magazines.  She’s half-Italian and half-Puerto Rican, but has no clue of those two cultures.  Maybe she should watch some Jersey Shore?  Her parents refuse to appear on camera, so we don’t get to see her breaking the news to them.  Her dad is pissed off, but her mom is taking it well.  Her dad tells her that she’s not being a proper submissive woman.  My God, I would make such a horrible Mennonite. 

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Sugarbush
About

Hi, there!  About me...well, let's see.  I like to think of myself as an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, shrouded in a mystery.  Sometimes my personality doesn't even reconcile in my own head.  I'm a really caring and sensitive person, but I have a dark, dry, sarcastic sense of humor which tends gives the impression that I have no soul.  I am married to a great guy who shares my sense of humor and we have a son who, both fortunately and unfortunately, has his mother's personality.   I'm an independent contractor who works from home and keeps the kid all day, everyday.  I've loved to write my whole life and have big, never-to-be-achieved dreams of one day writing a book.  My favorite past time is laughing, which is what brought me to this site.  I can laugh at almost anything, so beware.

31 Comments

  1. 1
    alicecarroll13
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 11:18 am

    a few years ago i was on a bus in maine traveling from portland to augusta and there was a very large family of amish..with grannys..children..moms and dads and babies ..these people brought their own food in baskets..my mistake was i was useing a handheld videogame..they did’nt let this at all..they looked at me like i was the devil!!! one mother looked like she was going to slap my in the head with the bible!!!
    couple of these girls on the show are kind of hot..cant wait to see what happens with them all!!

  2. 2
    Jane and Blanche Jane and Blanche
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 11:21 am

    Great recap! There was a show several years ago on the WB, I think, that was similar to this one I’m glad another network is doing this type of show and I’m glad you’re recapping it, so funny!

  3. 3
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 11:41 am

    LOL @Sugarbush I got to the duck lips pose for Facebook and clubbing and had to put Kleenex in my eyes!

    I’m so glad you’re doing this show. I can tell it’s going to be a hoot!

  4. 4
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 12:48 pm

    Well, I don’t knows whether the show or your recaps will be funnier, but I’m in.

  5. 5
    BelowSeaLevel BelowSeaLevel
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 1:15 pm

    Congratulations on the new home, Sugarbush! Loved your recap!

  6. 6
    Pyper
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 1:23 pm

    Could Abe’s sister be any more less model-like ? What would one have to do to turn that frown upside down… probably a good ole Double Cheesburger/fries and a milkshake…
    Love the editing, one head interview Kates got some chicken McNuggett sized zit, and the next.. poof they are gone.. Dang, now I am hungry.. off to Mickey D’s…

  7. 7
    whatwhat
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 1:30 pm

    Really annoyed with this show. Was expecting it to be interesting, and it turned out to be a gigantic scripted piece of crap. Jeremiah isn’t even Amish, and hasn’t been Amish for years. He’s divorced and has kids. People started pointing it out right after the show aired. I’m assuming everyone else is just as scripted.

  8. 8
    TVKimmy TVKimmy
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 1:51 pm

    I’m all in, fake or not. The recaps are going to be tff to miss out on. :D

    I came to the realization, about half way through viewing, that I’d be the Antichrist to these people. lol

  9. 9
    caligal
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 1:58 pm

    LMAO@TVKimmy…the thought of a Gasmii being the Antichrist and the rest of us Gasmii snarkily running around to do your bidding! :)

  10. 10
    caligal
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 1:59 pm

    Oh, and great recap SB! I’m definitely in for this one! :)

  11. 11
    labowner
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 2:22 pm

    I’ll read the recaps, but this looks as real as MBFAGW.

    Wonder what will happen to the families that allowed their children/homes to be filmed? Kids can’t say cameras can come into the house etc.

  12. 12
    mere2142
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    I’m in as well! I loved this shit, right down to the overly dramatic music and horror movie editing.

    How much would it suck to be adopted into an Amish family? Isn’t it interesting that two of the four are adopted? I wonder if that plays more into their wanting to ‘jump the fence’.

  13. 13
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 2:57 pm

    Sugarbush…great recap!

    From 13 to 18 I lived in a small town in northeast Iowa that had a large Amish population. I believe 2nd largest to Lancaster, Pa.
    Uhhhhhmmmm remember I was in highschool.
    We called them “hookies” because they would hook up their buggies.
    Anyway…
    My best friends and I on Saturday mornings would go on “hookie runs” to get over our hangovers and to get out of the house.
    “Hookie runs” were like going to a farmer’s market in a car. We would stop and get mud pies, veggies, eggs.

    When I would go to Kansas City to see my sister (as an adult) just 10 miles from the Iowa/Missouri state line (only stopped in the fall) I would stop to stock up on elderberry jelly.
    If you have never had elderberry jelly…you are missing out on a wonderful jelly.
    Seems like the amish are the only ones that make elderberry jelly anymore,
    Tis a shame.

  14. 14
    lovesthehobbitses
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 6:40 pm

    Okay call me a total idiot, but if these people really were true Amish folk, how did they even hear about this show in the first place? We hear casting calls online or on TV… did TLC just go to every Amish village and post a flyer for anyone who was interested in being shunned from their community and running away to New York?

  15. 15
    hot cawfee
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 5:33 am

    Shunning???– come on kids— In Cawfee’s childhood home it was called “the silent treatment”. I have had it manys the time– ya ride it out.

  16. 16
    hot cawfee
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 5:47 am

    “a proper submissive wife”– sweet Jeebus– that gave me chills. I knew there was a reason why I am not a Mennonite. 5 minutes of my highly opinionated, won’t-walk-behind-a-man, independent,I-won’t-wait for -a-man’s-permission-to-speak sassy self and I would be tossed over that fence!!

    This looks interesting–my thoughts too @14 Hobbitses–if they are supposed to be kept from society and all its evil trappings how did they find out about this show??? MTV’s True Life did an episode of Amish young people who left their communities for the “English” world.

    I havent watch the show yet–but it looks promising—Altho we wont get to see Abe’s sister.

    Congrats on the house SugarB!!!!!!

  17. 17
    jp
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 6:20 am

    Now this is a creative reality tv show, hopefully we all learn something. I am glad this will be recapped.

  18. 18
    eyediosmio Reagirl
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 8:05 am

    @whatwhat – really? Divorced with kids? THe hell is that about!!!

  19. 19
    labowner
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 9:44 am

    Hot wasn’t show more about their excursions (they have a name for it) where they get to go let off steam but eventually they come back to the fold like good sheep?

  20. 20
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 10:49 am

    @labowner I wonder if they’re doing it for their romspringa. Like they did on the UK show. They don’t have baptism ceremony for babies in their religion. It’s only after romspringa that they can join it.

    I don’t know how that guy’s family got to be on camera. But I bet somebody’ll find out!

  21. 21
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 11:21 am

    @Kthxy, we meet again for another subculture. I was thinking Romspringa too. Seemed more final, however.

  22. 22
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    @snowshoecat! (=^-ェ-^=)丿

    We’ve got another 1 coming too! I didn’t forget Natl Geo. I’ll put it in the forum when I get caught up.

  23. 23
    Itsallokay
    Posted September 15, 2012 at 11:44 pm

    I’m curious what is sacred here(@tvgasm)? I recorded this show b/c nothing else was on and I am genuinely interested in shows about other cultures, then I saw it recapped (yeah!) so after watching it, I figured we should all call human services. Seriously. I was sad watching it and really upset reading comments. Snark above and beyond, unless you know that all worked out somewhat OK for these kids.
    We should all be starting a fund for these kids. It’s hard to know how “reality TV” has bent the the truth, but doesn’t this break anyone’s heart? Get out of amish hell and never see your family again? I don’t know, this made me tear up a bit.

  24. 24
    Itsallokay
    Posted September 16, 2012 at 3:14 pm

    OMG! I did NOT mean to send this. Or even mean. Don’t drink and comment. Sorry.

  25. 25
    Sheryl
    Posted September 17, 2012 at 3:53 am

    Really do want to know how these people heard about the opportunity. Did TLC go into communities and stir up crap and dissatisfaction? Illicit TVs in the community? Maybe a computer or two? Really, how?

  26. 26
    Terrence
    Posted September 17, 2012 at 10:04 am

    I watched it and loved it. I’ve always been fascinated by the Amish. Yes some of the shots were a bit fake and movieish but it still worked. Will def be watching.

  27. 27
    labowner
    Posted September 17, 2012 at 11:19 am

    Terrence my friend as well loves the Amish. To the point he almost killed us one night (I believe we saw Mennonites as they were driving). We were traveling one evening and Germ (nick name) was driving and a van of bearded men past us as if we were standing still. “Amish” Germ yells out, steps on the gas and proceeds to chase them down the highway. Wonder what they thought of the albino freak chasing them.

    Wonder if they will hang out an protest with the Occupy folks?

  28. 28
    flalady
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 8:28 am

    Why do they call children of unmarried parents “bastards”? It’s not the child’s fault. Don’t label the people who had nothing to do with it! Label the parents!

  29. 29
    labowner
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 9:51 am

    flalady because that is a way to shame the parents.

    As my Jewish friend told me when I joked about them having a “bastard” child he said “Ha, ha. That is how I know who my Catholic friends are as we are Jewish and don’t have bastard children.”

  30. 30
    flalady
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 12:16 pm

    It doesn’t shame the parents, it only shames the children! I was born to an unmarried woman, but adopted by two wonderful loving parents. I resent being called “bastard” or “illegitimate”. I’m just as legitimate as the next person!

  31. 31
    labowner
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 12:34 pm

    My self esteem is good enough I don’t care if you call me illegitmate, bastard whatever. Life is what it is.

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