Rebecca is getting ready to tell her best friend that she’s leaving the community. She’s making breakfast for her two cousins who are not-at-all confusingly named Ben. Rebecca is a bastard child from a man who was not Amish, so she has no idea who is her daddy. She’s the only known bastard in the community. Ben 1 doesn’t like the idea of Rebecca going to New York and doesn’t want her to miss Grandpa’s funeral if he were to die. Ben 2 doesn’t talk much.
“Hi, I’m Rebecca, this is my brother Ben, and this is my other brother Ben!”
Sabrina is going to tell her friend Rose that she’s going to New York to wear cowboy boots and earrings. Rose worries about her paling around with Satan and getting lost in his eyes.
Abe asks Andy, his brother, what he thinks of Abe going to New York. He says he’ll come to visit, but that his parents probably won’t because they run the risk of getting shunned. Abe thinks Andy will be all over hot chicks if he visits him in New York and Andy’s reaction is a sly smile of a horny 13-year-old boy.
Well, the only thing on my mind, Gene, is “pussy”.
Kate has been staying with friends in Florida for several weeks before heading up to New York with the rest of the crew. Kate got her license and went out drinking with some friends. She forgot to turn on her headlights when she started to drive home, so she was arrested for DUI and had to spend the night in jail. She shows up to her court date in her Amish gear, which I’m sure is not in the least a sly move on her part.
Kate takes a moment to study up on her future “modeling” career in porn rags.
She says she blew twice the legal limit, but swears she only had a couple of drinks. Apparently, there are some things that are inherently human rather than something that comes from culture – attempting to bullshit your way out of trouble.
Jeremiah’s girlfriend of two years is coming over and he’s going to tell her about going to New York. He asks Iva if she likes the Amish life and she replies that she needs nothing more than what she now has. She’s really pretty and I’m getting tired of seeing these beautiful girls who wear no makeup while I sit here looking like a troll under a bridge. Iva is upset because they have been planning to marry in the fall. Iva walks away and tells him she’ll never see him again. It’s OK, Jeremiah. You’ll probably go get laid the first week you arrive in New York, because that’s what virgin boys do.
Sabrina shows us around her house. She has electricity, is allowed to listen to Christian radio (as a Christian, I can full-heartedly say that she’s getting screwed over on that “allowance”), and she’s allowed to read magazines. She’s half-Italian and half-Puerto Rican, but has no clue of those two cultures. Maybe she should watch some Jersey Shore? Her parents refuse to appear on camera, so we don’t get to see her breaking the news to them. Her dad is pissed off, but her mom is taking it well. Her dad tells her that she’s not being a proper submissive woman. My God, I would make such a horrible Mennonite.