Kate is on her way home to await her DUI court hearing. She’s going to have to tell them about the DUI and her impending trip to New York. Like Sabrina, Kate’s parents refuse to appear on camera. Her father wouldn’t talk to her, but she was able to tell her mom what happened. She didn’t tell them about New York, but did tell them about the DUI.
Jeremiah is telling us about the Amish believing that 8th grade is all that is needed education-wise when the bishop’s wife comes by like Miss Gulch on a scooter. Jeremiah knows it means he’ll be shunned, so he packs up his shit and bolts.
Do-do-do-do-do-do-doooo, Do-do-do-do-do-do-doooo, Do-do-do-do-do-do-doooo, DOOOO!
Abe’s momma is worried about Abe going to the beach and wearing lewd clothing in public. Momma asks Sis if she’d go to the beach and wear skimpy clothing. Her response is a dull “no”. Tons of beachgoers just breathed a huge sigh of relief.
I, for one, really wanted to see this Artie Lange look-a-like tromping around the beach in a thong.
Abe is defending himself by stating that his dream has always been to be a Careflight pilot. At least he knows good ways to make lots of money. Abe eats dinner and then goes off to pack. His mom seems pretty cool as she tells him to remember to say his prayers, to think of them, and to think hard about what he’s getting into.
Rebecca’s grandpa arrives in a carriage and she runs after him. He strolls into the house and slams the door in her face. For whatever reason, they keep editing and filming Rebecca’s story as a horror film. Her grandpa tells her to pack up and get the fuck out (not exactly in those words). What an awful position everyone is put in by this lifestyle/religion.
We end the premier with everyone packing up their fabulous clothes, Bibles, and mafia-style rolls of cash.
This season, everyone takes their first airplane ride. New Yorkers are rude to them (shock!). The girls get hot makeovers and Abe tries to dress up as Slash. Abe and Jeremiah try to get it on with all the girls and when they get rejected, they call them sluts. At least they’re acting like normal guys.
So, tell me what you thought of this show. This is way more interesting than the Mormons, which may be due to the fact that I know too many to be surprised by their reality shows.
Catch me on Twitter @Sugarbush_Gasm!!
To get the funniest quotes from TVgasm recaps as they’re posted, follow us on Twitter. You can post your favorite lines right back at us. If you want to play games and socialize, like our Facebook page! We’re also now on Pinterest and Tumblr! Thanks for being a part of the ‘gasm!