BUCKWILD Recap: BULLS! Sh**

Recaps

By Dashley | Friday, January 25, 2013 | 2:43 pm | 15 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Buckwild, Recaps

Hey Gasmii! Back here with you for another exciting week of West Virginia misadventure! Last week Shae finally accepted the fact that her boyfriend Jesse J was a lying snake and rebounded with Joey and a jar of apple butter; Jesse Bleep generally creeped everyone out and got an ass kicking courtesy of Tyler; and Shae, Ashley, and Cara got some ill-advised tattoos. Onward!

 

Episode 7: Raging Bulls

Shain, Ashley, Salwa, and Joey are at the grossest-looking diner I’ve ever seen. Ashley notices in the newspaper that there’s a rodeo coming to town and it’s open for anyone to ride the bulls. She says they should definitely do it, because she hasn’t done it since she was “like 7.” A real bull? What parent is allowing their seven-year-old to ride a real bull? Plus, I call BULL (see what I did there?) on it being open to anyone – my guess is it’s really only open to those that have a reality show on MTV. Shain tells her she should stick to riding cowboys. But he offers to build a fake bull for training. Ashley confesses to us that she’s really in this for the most important thing in life: boys.

Katie, Tyler, and Cara go to a horse ranch in order to get a feel for riding horses before they put themselves on a bull. Katie and Cara are appropriately clothed in jeans, leather boots, and a helmet. Tyler, on the other hand, is wearing basketball shorts and sneakers, and no helmet. I’m no expert equestrian, but I did spend a week at a dude ranch in Idaho when I was 17, and his outfit is a terrible idea. Even if he doesn’t fall off the horse and conk his head, he has some nasty chafing to worry about. 

Tyler is impressed at Katie’s “riding skills,” by which he means her ass. Unfortunately for Cara, riding a horse is not one of her talents. Tyler complains to Katie that he was hoping it would be just the two of them, and not Cara. Crush alert!

There are so many jokes that could be made, and Tyler got lazy. 

At the girls’ house, Shae considers filling her air mattress with water to make it a waterbed. They plot ways to fill the mattress with water. Ashley helpfully suggests one cup at a time – Anna and Shae laugh at her. Shae considers the muddy creek. I liked Ashley’s idea better. Why is no one suggesting a garden hose, or, failing that, the beer bong that seems omnipresent on this show? Just run the damn thing under the faucet!

But no. The ladies go down to the muddy creek, and they get more water in their shoes than inside the bed. But Anna has yet another plan: dump a bucket of water from the second floor window to pour it inside the mattress outside? Wow, this really makes no sense whatsoever. 

I can’t even think of a drug they could have taken that might explain how bad their planning is.

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Dashley
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Loving pop culture since 1982. Loving TVGasm since 2012. I'd LOVE it if you followed me on twitter at @DashleyinCali.

15 Comments

  1. 1
    carol
    Posted January 25, 2013 at 4:40 pm

    When did showing vibrators on tv become something that was not pixilated? I am not saying it is a good thing or a bad thing, just wondering?

    Also, this show is so edited it is crazy. Joey’s truck went between super dirty with a broken front fender to shiny clean and perfect fenders throughout the date. Edited much?

    The girl’s “house” is not a house at all. It is a rec center type building, the type that can be rented to anyone for group bonding or outings. No running water upstairs where the ‘bedrooms’ are? That means all the bathrooms are downstairs. They don’t really have a kitchen, there are fridges/display cases. Shae’s ‘room’ is a coat room (no windows, super low ceiling, etc). They never really hang out inside, always on the deck.

    Shain and his parents are the best thing about this show. Did anyone notice that Joey’s accent got a whole lot thicker when he was at Shain’s house washing his truck?

  2. 2
    labowner
    Posted January 25, 2013 at 5:08 pm

    Shain needs to get rid of the bad porn stash.

  3. 3
    Ed
    Posted January 25, 2013 at 5:33 pm

    @Carol I think because the vibrator wasn’t actually modeled to look like a penis they could show it. As it was, it was just a hot pink shaft.

    Joey must not have a lot of experience dating. It was almost embarrassing to watch that “date”

    I also was annoyed at Shae’s definition of naughty schoolgirl. As a man who has had that fantasy, I can say that it must ALWAYS include a plaid skirt and knee high socks!

  4. 4
    Ed
    Posted January 26, 2013 at 2:09 am

    Also does anyone else think Salwa always sounds like she’s fascinated by everything she sees?Her voice is always in high pitched awe or something. Like when she showed up for the bull riding practice and said she saw a lizard or something. She sounded like it was the most amazing thing ever.

  5. 5
    Geekay
    Posted January 26, 2013 at 12:26 pm

    Why didn’t Ashley have to pay up on the bet ( sweatshirt, not lingerie)?

  6. 6
    labowner
    Posted January 28, 2013 at 4:00 pm

    Geekay – I think it was because she was hurt. She mentioned something about a back brace. I know she didn’t have one, but there was mumbling when they were leaving the rodeo.

    How cute were Shain’s parents? Teasing Joey about his date. And why do Tyler and Joey live together (isn’t Tyler, like Cara, new to this group?) and Shain still lives at home? Where are everyone else’s parents? Did they not want to be on? MTV too cheap to pay them all?

    How did they think they were going to get a filled water bed back into the house?

    I still want to know what gives with the ring Anna keeps moving from her ringer finger to her other hand.

    Where was Katie all season?

    Love vicariously reliving my summers through these kids.

  7. 7
    GeeKay
    Posted January 28, 2013 at 5:19 pm

    Yeah, I heard her say she wouldn’t look good in lingerie and a brace; but I didn’t see a brace. No brace – no excuse :) Just surprised nobody gave her crap for it. Could be bad editing. Oh well.

  8. 8
    labowner
    Posted January 28, 2013 at 5:28 pm

    Funny GeeKay because she had no problem getting naked and running around last week. That was Ashley right?

    Ed I too notice Salwa’s child like wonderment she voices – that and her tits are always on display.

    Dashley – Najee is a hottie.

  9. 9
    GeeKay
    Posted January 28, 2013 at 6:02 pm

    Yep. That’s why I don’t get it, and so I went on a search, which brought me here! :)

  10. 10
    Dashley Dashley
    Posted January 29, 2013 at 3:35 pm

    Well, WELCOME GeeKay! You should definitely come back on Friday – I’ll probably have this week’s posted by then. :-)
    Yes, thank you, Labowner – HOW IS NO ONE ELSE as stupefied as me at the hotness of Najee? Can we please have him on EVERY week? Please?
    I think Salwa might be in competition with Anna now for my favorite person on the show. Yes, she has that wonderment voice thing, but I don’t think she’s faking it – she just seems genuinely amazed by everything she encounters. The only thing I don’t like about Salwa is her willingness to get naked at any time in front of really pervy guys. But I’m sure that for at least half the audience, that’s not a problem at all.
    And yes, Ashley was the one who stripped down last week – she’s the only one who gets naked more often than Salwa.

  11. 11
    labowner
    Posted January 29, 2013 at 4:02 pm

    For every female who has ever been on a reality show;, take a cue from these girls – they don’t talk – they just do and have a great time doing it.

    I would love to swap the BH housewives with these girls for a week. Talk about culture shock.

    I don’t know everything single iota about these kids, but their moms and dads should be proud.

  12. 12
    Ed
    Posted January 29, 2013 at 6:30 pm

    @Dashley: I only remember Salwa getting naked once for the “pool” and I’m positive I’d remember her getting naked more than that lol. She does always have her boobs on display which makes me very happy. She’s got great boobs. Dashley, if you’d like we can plot to claim Salwa and Najee for ourselves!

  13. 13
    Dashley Dashley
    Posted January 30, 2013 at 12:03 pm

    But alas! She got naked TWICE in the episode where they went to that big party in Morgantown. She stripped down for the bodypainter (I think she was the first to do it, but I could be wrong) and then she and Ashley both got topless in the club and made out with each other. And I like your proposed alliance. Let’s explore that, shall we?

  14. 14
    Ed
    Posted January 30, 2013 at 12:19 pm

    That’s right! I guess the body paint threw me! Not to nitpick, but she and Ashley just pecked on the lips that wasn’t a make out lol. I like our alliance! Let’s break those 2 up and pick up the pieces!

  15. 15
    labowner
    Posted January 30, 2013 at 12:38 pm

    Great we have our very own Elaine and Jerry.

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