BUCKWILD Recap: BULLS! Sh**

Recaps

By Dashley | Friday, January 25, 2013 | 2:43 pm | 15 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Buckwild, Recaps

The ladies march out wearing sexy lingerie and sour faces. Shain, ever the classiest, jokes about being hard, Joey tries to tickle Shae, and Ashley chills in her sweats. 

 

Episode 8: It’s Not a Date

Looks like Shae is in full girlfriend mode with Joey: we open with her going about her morning routine at his and Tyler’s house. And true to dramatic form, she wakes Joey up with the express purpose of defining the relationship. Oh, Shae. No man likes to be put on the spot to define a relationship. No 20-something man likes to be woken for any reason whatsoever other than fooling around. You’ve had better ideas. Joey, for his part, is evasive, and I don’t blame him considering the circumstances. However, he does realize that she’s out of his league, right? Shae tells us that she’s not a friends-with-benefits kind of a girl, and Joey needs to step it up. 

Shain waxes poetic to us about his muddy pickup truck while love songs play. We get shown a montage of Shain running his truck into things, doing donuts in the dirt, etc. Flash to his parents, discussing all that is wrong with his truck and wondering how he could have possibly done the damage. His mother asks him about his broken headlight, and what proceeds is a drawn-out conversation about the headlight, and a dozer, and I have no idea what’s going on because even with the subtitles, I feel like I’m listening to a conversation in a foreign language. I think Shain’s dad told him he has to fix his truck himself. And then they go to church. Shain tells us that he gets more attached to his trucks than his girlfriends because they don’t “bitch at me or tell me when I need to be home.” Give this man a microphone and a brick wall! He’ll be here all week!

At least his facial hair is funny. 

Joey is helping Shae to unload furniture she finally got from Jesse J’s house. Anna comes home and they do a really bad job of pretending to be asleep. Anna being Anna, she immediately calls them on it. When Shae and Anna leave the room, Joey starts snooping around Shae’s bedroom looking at pictures of her friends and trying on her bras. He then finds her vibrator, which is great, because of course he immediately wonders why she has one – shouldn’t she only need him? 

You’re doing it wrong.

Back at Shain’s house, Joey is now helping Shain unload stuff. Wait no, they’re taking Shain’s truck to the crusher I think? I don’t know, I rewound this several times and I could not figure out what the heck he was saying. Anyway, Shain gets his car up onto a trailer and they go to the junk yard. Joey operates the crusher, destroying the truck, picking it up and throwing it down, etc. Ashley confesses to us that she didn’t know Joey was capable of operating heavy machinery and she’s turned on. Careful Ashley, Shae will destroy you! Well, probably not, but she’ll be really passive aggressive for a while, anyway. Shain says his final farewell to the car, and lists all the good times they had together: a DUI (always a blast,) some threesomes (yeah, okay Shain,) and a couple of other things I didn’t catch because I honestly cannot understand a word he says! The junkyard guy give him $334 for the scrap metal.

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Dashley
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Loving pop culture since 1982. Loving TVGasm since 2012. I'd LOVE it if you followed me on twitter at @DashleyinCali.

15 Comments

  1. 1
    carol
    Posted January 25, 2013 at 4:40 pm

    When did showing vibrators on tv become something that was not pixilated? I am not saying it is a good thing or a bad thing, just wondering?

    Also, this show is so edited it is crazy. Joey’s truck went between super dirty with a broken front fender to shiny clean and perfect fenders throughout the date. Edited much?

    The girl’s “house” is not a house at all. It is a rec center type building, the type that can be rented to anyone for group bonding or outings. No running water upstairs where the ‘bedrooms’ are? That means all the bathrooms are downstairs. They don’t really have a kitchen, there are fridges/display cases. Shae’s ‘room’ is a coat room (no windows, super low ceiling, etc). They never really hang out inside, always on the deck.

    Shain and his parents are the best thing about this show. Did anyone notice that Joey’s accent got a whole lot thicker when he was at Shain’s house washing his truck?

  2. 2
    labowner
    Posted January 25, 2013 at 5:08 pm

    Shain needs to get rid of the bad porn stash.

  3. 3
    Ed
    Posted January 25, 2013 at 5:33 pm

    @Carol I think because the vibrator wasn’t actually modeled to look like a penis they could show it. As it was, it was just a hot pink shaft.

    Joey must not have a lot of experience dating. It was almost embarrassing to watch that “date”

    I also was annoyed at Shae’s definition of naughty schoolgirl. As a man who has had that fantasy, I can say that it must ALWAYS include a plaid skirt and knee high socks!

  4. 4
    Ed
    Posted January 26, 2013 at 2:09 am

    Also does anyone else think Salwa always sounds like she’s fascinated by everything she sees?Her voice is always in high pitched awe or something. Like when she showed up for the bull riding practice and said she saw a lizard or something. She sounded like it was the most amazing thing ever.

  5. 5
    Geekay
    Posted January 26, 2013 at 12:26 pm

    Why didn’t Ashley have to pay up on the bet ( sweatshirt, not lingerie)?

  6. 6
    labowner
    Posted January 28, 2013 at 4:00 pm

    Geekay – I think it was because she was hurt. She mentioned something about a back brace. I know she didn’t have one, but there was mumbling when they were leaving the rodeo.

    How cute were Shain’s parents? Teasing Joey about his date. And why do Tyler and Joey live together (isn’t Tyler, like Cara, new to this group?) and Shain still lives at home? Where are everyone else’s parents? Did they not want to be on? MTV too cheap to pay them all?

    How did they think they were going to get a filled water bed back into the house?

    I still want to know what gives with the ring Anna keeps moving from her ringer finger to her other hand.

    Where was Katie all season?

    Love vicariously reliving my summers through these kids.

  7. 7
    GeeKay
    Posted January 28, 2013 at 5:19 pm

    Yeah, I heard her say she wouldn’t look good in lingerie and a brace; but I didn’t see a brace. No brace – no excuse :) Just surprised nobody gave her crap for it. Could be bad editing. Oh well.

  8. 8
    labowner
    Posted January 28, 2013 at 5:28 pm

    Funny GeeKay because she had no problem getting naked and running around last week. That was Ashley right?

    Ed I too notice Salwa’s child like wonderment she voices – that and her tits are always on display.

    Dashley – Najee is a hottie.

  9. 9
    GeeKay
    Posted January 28, 2013 at 6:02 pm

    Yep. That’s why I don’t get it, and so I went on a search, which brought me here! :)

  10. 10
    Dashley Dashley
    Posted January 29, 2013 at 3:35 pm

    Well, WELCOME GeeKay! You should definitely come back on Friday – I’ll probably have this week’s posted by then. :-)
    Yes, thank you, Labowner – HOW IS NO ONE ELSE as stupefied as me at the hotness of Najee? Can we please have him on EVERY week? Please?
    I think Salwa might be in competition with Anna now for my favorite person on the show. Yes, she has that wonderment voice thing, but I don’t think she’s faking it – she just seems genuinely amazed by everything she encounters. The only thing I don’t like about Salwa is her willingness to get naked at any time in front of really pervy guys. But I’m sure that for at least half the audience, that’s not a problem at all.
    And yes, Ashley was the one who stripped down last week – she’s the only one who gets naked more often than Salwa.

  11. 11
    labowner
    Posted January 29, 2013 at 4:02 pm

    For every female who has ever been on a reality show;, take a cue from these girls – they don’t talk – they just do and have a great time doing it.

    I would love to swap the BH housewives with these girls for a week. Talk about culture shock.

    I don’t know everything single iota about these kids, but their moms and dads should be proud.

  12. 12
    Ed
    Posted January 29, 2013 at 6:30 pm

    @Dashley: I only remember Salwa getting naked once for the “pool” and I’m positive I’d remember her getting naked more than that lol. She does always have her boobs on display which makes me very happy. She’s got great boobs. Dashley, if you’d like we can plot to claim Salwa and Najee for ourselves!

  13. 13
    Dashley Dashley
    Posted January 30, 2013 at 12:03 pm

    But alas! She got naked TWICE in the episode where they went to that big party in Morgantown. She stripped down for the bodypainter (I think she was the first to do it, but I could be wrong) and then she and Ashley both got topless in the club and made out with each other. And I like your proposed alliance. Let’s explore that, shall we?

  14. 14
    Ed
    Posted January 30, 2013 at 12:19 pm

    That’s right! I guess the body paint threw me! Not to nitpick, but she and Ashley just pecked on the lips that wasn’t a make out lol. I like our alliance! Let’s break those 2 up and pick up the pieces!

  15. 15
    labowner
    Posted January 30, 2013 at 12:38 pm

    Great we have our very own Elaine and Jerry.

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