The ladies march out wearing sexy lingerie and sour faces. Shain, ever the classiest, jokes about being hard, Joey tries to tickle Shae, and Ashley chills in her sweats.
Episode 8: It’s Not a Date
Looks like Shae is in full girlfriend mode with Joey: we open with her going about her morning routine at his and Tyler’s house. And true to dramatic form, she wakes Joey up with the express purpose of defining the relationship. Oh, Shae. No man likes to be put on the spot to define a relationship. No 20-something man likes to be woken for any reason whatsoever other than fooling around. You’ve had better ideas. Joey, for his part, is evasive, and I don’t blame him considering the circumstances. However, he does realize that she’s out of his league, right? Shae tells us that she’s not a friends-with-benefits kind of a girl, and Joey needs to step it up.
Shain waxes poetic to us about his muddy pickup truck while love songs play. We get shown a montage of Shain running his truck into things, doing donuts in the dirt, etc. Flash to his parents, discussing all that is wrong with his truck and wondering how he could have possibly done the damage. His mother asks him about his broken headlight, and what proceeds is a drawn-out conversation about the headlight, and a dozer, and I have no idea what’s going on because even with the subtitles, I feel like I’m listening to a conversation in a foreign language. I think Shain’s dad told him he has to fix his truck himself. And then they go to church. Shain tells us that he gets more attached to his trucks than his girlfriends because they don’t “bitch at me or tell me when I need to be home.” Give this man a microphone and a brick wall! He’ll be here all week!
At least his facial hair is funny.
Joey is helping Shae to unload furniture she finally got from Jesse J’s house. Anna comes home and they do a really bad job of pretending to be asleep. Anna being Anna, she immediately calls them on it. When Shae and Anna leave the room, Joey starts snooping around Shae’s bedroom looking at pictures of her friends and trying on her bras. He then finds her vibrator, which is great, because of course he immediately wonders why she has one – shouldn’t she only need him?
You’re doing it wrong.
Back at Shain’s house, Joey is now helping Shain unload stuff. Wait no, they’re taking Shain’s truck to the crusher I think? I don’t know, I rewound this several times and I could not figure out what the heck he was saying. Anyway, Shain gets his car up onto a trailer and they go to the junk yard. Joey operates the crusher, destroying the truck, picking it up and throwing it down, etc. Ashley confesses to us that she didn’t know Joey was capable of operating heavy machinery and she’s turned on. Careful Ashley, Shae will destroy you! Well, probably not, but she’ll be really passive aggressive for a while, anyway. Shain says his final farewell to the car, and lists all the good times they had together: a DUI (always a blast,) some threesomes (yeah, okay Shain,) and a couple of other things I didn’t catch because I honestly cannot understand a word he says! The junkyard guy give him $334 for the scrap metal.