Hey Gasmi! Another eventful night of activity in Sissonville, WV – can’t wait to break it down for you!
Episode 3: Sexts, Lies, & Chicken Wings
Last time: Shain performed a stupid stunt in a tractor tire. The girls had a stupid rager that resulted in homelessness. And Cara and Tyler hooked up, stupidly thinking no one would ever find out.
Anna and Ashley are on their way to go pick up Shae at her boyfriend’s house, and they don’t know what to expect. They gossip about how she’s gorgeous, but somehow always dates losers, and they don’t understand it. They have no idea where Cara is, but Ashley hopes she doesn’t come back, because her room is really nice. Anna’s still pissed that Cara had sex with Tyler in her bed, and Ashley points out that she has sex in Anna’s bed all the time – all you have to do is ask! Is her room really that bad? That she has sex everywhere but in her own bed? I hope they show us Ashley’s room. And also, are these girls really that exhibitionist? Aren’t you afraid someone is going to walk in on you?
Cara is debriefing with her friend Kim in her hometown, and decides that the best thing to do is apologize to Anna. She’s afraid that Anna won’t forgive her though, and then she’ll have to pack up and move home. Yeah, cause MTV would allow that.
Anna and Ashley arrive at Shae’s boyfriend’s house – and his name is Jesse J. Like the British pop star? Why isn’t he just Jesse? And he has a daughter, and the fact that he’s “such a good dad” is what is attractive to Shae. I have a sneaking suspicion that hypothesis will be tested by the end of the episode. The girls get on Shae’s case about how Jesse doesn’t share her. Dirty! She diplomatically suggests that she bring him to hang out at Shain’s house, but the other girls shoot that down because Shain doesn’t like Jesse, even though Shain likes everyone.
Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice?
The guys are at Shain’s house, setting up a “West Virginia Waterslide.” It’s basically a plastic sheet, rigged up as a gigantic slip ‘n slide. And I am IN. They even have kiddie pools to ride down in! Definitely the best idea Shain has ever had. Anna’s so happy she got to have fun with Shae, because it felt like old times.
Definitely a better idea than Shain’s facial hair.
The gang sets up a bonfire at Shain’s, and I’m not convinced any of these people should be playing with fire. Jesse J shows up, and Joey (AKA Justin Beavers) looks very annoyed. Shain tells us Shae is cool, but he doesn’t care for her boyfriend. Jesse immediately hits the beer bong.
He shockingly doesn’t think this joke is funny.
Oh! There’s a Jesse B! Now it all makes sense. It’s still weird to call Shae’s boyfriend “Jesse J” though. Salwa is telling an enchanting story about a cold night when Shae stole her bra, when Shain shoots a gun in the air. Not. Cool. Beer and bonfires and guns do not mix. This is his way of kicking everyone out? Why not just tell people you’re out of beer?
Jesse J invites Ashley and Salwa over to his house to party. He says Shae is off doing her thing, and won’t be there.
And makes this creepy face while suggesting that.