Meanwhile, back at the GAP, it’s dinnertime, and Joey and Tyler are determined to tagteam romance their ladies and get them back to the tents as early as possible. Shain, ever the Lothario, starts stomping around and shrieking about a chainsaw murderer with three eyes and four legs who is going to come after them any minute. I think it’s possible, as put forward by my theory last week, that Shain’s emotional development stunted sometime around the age of seven, and he truly believes what he’s saying.
Drunk Joey and Tyler argue about which direction they’re throwing their trash in, and Cara (quite reasonably) is irritated with them for littering, rather than placing the trash inside the garbage bag she helpfully brought along. And then rather than saying, “Cara, you’re right, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize there was a trash bag,” Tyler says, “who brings a trash bag to something like this?” Really? And then Tyler makes this about Cara’s jealousy over the Katie thing, which is so aggravating, because the girl really did have a point. Even more aggravating is MTV coaching to Cara in the interview to say that she really is irritated by the Katie thing. Can’t it be both? Feminism. Boom.
¡Vamos a la fiesta! An exciting game of flip cup is in progress, and Anna is making googly eyes at a guy. His name is Andrew, and they figure out who their mutual friends are. Salwa does the sweetest thing, guys! She gives Anna a pep talk, saying that she can tell Andrew is into her, and why wouldn’t he be? Anna is the hottest bitch there. Aw, girlfriends. And femininism! They hit the saddest-looking piñata I’ve ever seen, and then build a bonfire. And then this very promising party takes a very stupid turn: everyone starts jumping over the bonfire. Anna dares her guy to jump over it, promising a kiss if he does it.
This kiss probably wouldn’t have been that great if he was covered in third-degree burns.
We return to the GAP and tensions are running high. Cara is entertaining Shain’s feeble attempts at flirting, but gets distracted when Tyler starts pouring lighter fluid all over the fire. She claims that the lighter fluid needs to last them all night and he’s wasting it, while he counters that there’s another bottle and she needs to get off his back. Instead of one of them checking to find out who is right, they just stare one another down. Katie confesses to us that she gets really frustrated when Cara is mean to Tyler. I don’t know what she’s been seeing all night, but what MTV has been showing us is that Cara is the only sober, responsible one in a group of drunken brats.
Tyler and Katie storm off to their tent to channel their anger into sexytime. Shae, showing remarkable skills of perception, proposes to Cara that they go mess with the angry couple. Cara says sure, and the two of them shake the tent. Tyler goes from zero to asshole in two seconds flat, and yells at Cara while Shae just stands there and laughs. Unfortunately for Cara, Shain wants to be her consolation prize, and she flat-out tells him that it’s not gonna happen.