BUCKWILD Recap: The Lament of the Jesses

Recaps

By Dashley | Friday, January 18, 2013 | 6:31 pm | 14 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Buckwild, Recaps

At Jesse Bleep’s cabin, the whole gang shows up excited for a big party, and the place is a dump. There are dishes in the sink, knives sitting out willy nilly, and for heaven’s sake, there are curtains that are askew! The horror! Tyler is annoyed. 

Actually, not a bad idea in a pinch if you can’t make it to the hardware store. I wonder if he saw this on Pinterest?

Anna faces one of MY worst fears and uses the bathroom at a filthy house, and hilariously (I swear I’m not being sarcastic) tells Jesse Bleep that she did not sit down on his toilet and “that was rough.” He tells her he’s just glad she got out of there safe. Tyler is about to pour himself a glass of coke, when he gets confronted by Jesse Bleep, who has a weird serial killer moment, menacingly telling him that if he’s going to be drinking that coke it better be his own, because if Tyler found it in the middle of the woods, it might be a bad thing. Which on the surface sounds like good advice, but the way he said it… I guess you had to be there. 

Hee.

Anna and Tyler have a heart-to-heart over the beer bong about how gross Jesse Bleep’s place is. Then Jesse Bleep sorta attacks her with a hunting knife. That according to Cara still smells like deer meat. They all decide that they are too creeped out, and blow that popsicle stand. Shae tells us that she’s a little offended her friends didn’t want to stay and hang out with her. Jesse Bleep, for his part, has come to the conclusion that they left because he was “too country” for them. Whatever. I am no apologist for the venerated cast of BUCKWILD, but gotta say I’m with them on this one.

The ladies are getting ice cream, and the topic of Jesse J is brought up yet AGAIN with Shae. She says sometimes they’re really good, and sometimes really bad. Ashley, who is nothing if not tactful, says “I bet he’s doing lots of stuff behind your back and you don’t even know it.” I’m waiting for Shae to lose it, when she calmly says “you sound like you know something.” Ashley tells Shae that Jesse J tried to hook up not just with Salwa, but her. Shae rolls her eyes and says she’s over all the drama with him. 

Shae calls Anna to consult with her because she STILL doesn’t know who to believe (Really? Really?) and Anna gets annoyed that Shae keeps asking her opinion on the matter when Shae obviously knows her opinion by now. Hysterically (there’s a reason Anna is my favorite) she shoves the phone at Tyler so he can talk to Shae. This is a great exchange, because Shae whines, “Ew, I don’t wanna talk to Tyler,” and then as soon as he says “What’s up?” she doesn’t miss a beat, and asks “What do you think? Is Jesse lying?” I want to laugh, so bad, but it’s so sad that this girl can’t seem to think for herself. Tyler points out that obvious, that of course Jesse J is lying, and Shae needs to make up her mind. 

“But tell me, should I TiVo The Bachelor or How I Met Your Mother? What do you think? This is so haaaard!”

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Dashley
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Loving pop culture since 1982. Loving TVGasm since 2012. I'd LOVE it if you followed me on twitter at @DashleyinCali.

14 Comments

  1. 1
    begonia skies
    Posted January 19, 2013 at 6:03 am

    my guess is nps stands for no pussy shit, which i can kinda get behind. these kids might be obnoxious but at least the girls aren’t whiny princesses.

  2. 2
    darlingclementine
    Posted January 19, 2013 at 9:43 am

    they wear heels alot for running around in the country. everytime i try to wear heels in the country I either get laughed at or literally can not do the activities in heels.

    that being said, sledding behind a 4wheeler is a blast!!

    and they probably arent showing us all of the drunken gun shooting that I am sure that happens. I remember one time I went to a country party and at the drunkenest part of the party everyone got out their guns and started shooting targets (they said it was a good indicator of how drunk they were). Being the pansy I am, I just happened to have to go inside and use the bathroom until said shooting was over…

  3. 3
    Dashley Dashley
    Posted January 19, 2013 at 12:22 pm

    @ Begonia – I was being facetious – I know what NPS stands for. ;-) I did give Cara some credit when she made that observation that while getting an NPS tattoo, you can’t complain. I, for one, don’t have any tattoos, because I AM admittedly a pussy, and I get nauseous just thinking about the process of getting tattooed.
    @ Clementine – you’re probably right. I have no doubt. I’m just shocked that they showed people shooting who obviously have no training, in an uncontrolled situation, and I feel like they’re setting themselves up for a lawsuit or something. It was surprising to me the same way it was surprising the first time I heard a cable TV network not bleep out the word “shit” after 10 PM.

  4. 4
    begonia skies
    Posted January 19, 2013 at 12:59 pm

    @dashley – hahaha sorry! sometimes i’m too literal and i didn’t watch this episode so i wasn’t sure how obvious they actually made it.

  5. 5
    Ed
    Posted January 19, 2013 at 1:45 pm

    That first episode was one of the weirdest ones yet. I literally could not follow Shae and Jessie J’s argument. I had an easier time understanding Shain.

    I might be wrong, but I am getting this vibe from her, does anyone else think Ashley is a bit skanky? She seemed to have no issue at Jessie Bleep’s house and she showed up with him. Something about just seems to be off.

  6. 6
    Tadow
    Posted January 19, 2013 at 7:23 pm

    yes. A penis can be too big. My captcha is: gift horse

  7. 7
    c8h10n4o2
    Posted January 19, 2013 at 10:54 pm

    A penis can DEFINITELY be too big. My captcha? Saber tooth.

  8. 8
    LadyStardust
    Posted January 20, 2013 at 12:04 am

    Honest question: Do most places make you have a license just to shoot a gun? I mean, I know you need one to hunt generally, but just for target practice? I’m from WV and that’s a TOTALLY normal thing there. I don’t even flinch when I hear gun shots (which is probably bad…I now live in CA and if someone shot up my entire apartment complex at night, I’d probably sleep through it).

    Most people that I knew just grew up with guns so we were taught at a very early age how to use them and respect them. We had dozens of guns in our house but I only used them around an adult family member and knew not to ever play with them. I just hope these kids ARE being careful.

    I thought that Anna actually said “Justin BEIBER” when talking about the birth time. But I might have mis-heard.

    I almost threw up when Shae was licking Justin Beavers. He just looks so DIRTY — like he only showers every other week.

  9. 9
    ase
    Posted January 20, 2013 at 11:02 am

    LadyStardust and Dashley – you do not need a license to own or shoot a rifle/shotgun anywhere in the country. You need a permit to go hunting, but since they were just target shooting and not hunting on what looked like private property, no piece of paper authorizing them to shoot would be required of them.

    I’m from NY and am pro-gun (in the hands of responsible people!1!) and I have no problem with those kids target shooting. I think all of the guys knew what they were doing (and it sounded like Ashley did, too), so it didn’t seem like any of them were in any danger. I know a few people from WV and I’m pretty sure mostly everyone in that state is a gun owner and based on what I’ve heard from them, these kids target shooting doesn’t seem out of the ordinary.

    WTF was up with Ashley bringing Jesse B around all drunk? Where did they come from? Why didn’t she leave him where he was? So many questions…

  10. 10
    Ed
    Posted January 20, 2013 at 11:06 am

    Also those were maybe the worst places I’ve ever seen tattoos put. The inside of the heel? The back of the knee? I’ve seen tattoos on the inside of the lip, but Shae’s was off center. I was cracking up when I saw where they were putting these tats!

    BTW my captcha says steak and eggs and I’m now hungry!

  11. 11
    labowner
    Posted January 22, 2013 at 3:34 pm

    I love how much fun these kids seem to have. Although, not sure if I could watch this season after season, but I like them and wouldn’t care to see drama over take them.

    Ed wasn’t the “n” running on the back of her knee?

  12. 12
    Ed
    Posted January 22, 2013 at 3:41 pm

    labowner It looked like it. Clearly not a master tattoo artist this man.

  13. 13
    jayjay
    Posted January 23, 2013 at 6:24 pm

    I think joey is hot…the tattoos are hot …but i dont like shae..she seems stuck up….and its west Virginia its ok to shoot guns..ha

  14. 14
    jayjay
    Posted January 23, 2013 at 6:27 pm

    And ashley might be doin jesse b….gross!!!

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