At Jesse Bleep’s cabin, the whole gang shows up excited for a big party, and the place is a dump. There are dishes in the sink, knives sitting out willy nilly, and for heaven’s sake, there are curtains that are askew! The horror! Tyler is annoyed.
Actually, not a bad idea in a pinch if you can’t make it to the hardware store. I wonder if he saw this on Pinterest?
Anna faces one of MY worst fears and uses the bathroom at a filthy house, and hilariously (I swear I’m not being sarcastic) tells Jesse Bleep that she did not sit down on his toilet and “that was rough.” He tells her he’s just glad she got out of there safe. Tyler is about to pour himself a glass of coke, when he gets confronted by Jesse Bleep, who has a weird serial killer moment, menacingly telling him that if he’s going to be drinking that coke it better be his own, because if Tyler found it in the middle of the woods, it might be a bad thing. Which on the surface sounds like good advice, but the way he said it… I guess you had to be there.
Anna and Tyler have a heart-to-heart over the beer bong about how gross Jesse Bleep’s place is. Then Jesse Bleep sorta attacks her with a hunting knife. That according to Cara still smells like deer meat. They all decide that they are too creeped out, and blow that popsicle stand. Shae tells us that she’s a little offended her friends didn’t want to stay and hang out with her. Jesse Bleep, for his part, has come to the conclusion that they left because he was “too country” for them. Whatever. I am no apologist for the venerated cast of BUCKWILD, but gotta say I’m with them on this one.
The ladies are getting ice cream, and the topic of Jesse J is brought up yet AGAIN with Shae. She says sometimes they’re really good, and sometimes really bad. Ashley, who is nothing if not tactful, says “I bet he’s doing lots of stuff behind your back and you don’t even know it.” I’m waiting for Shae to lose it, when she calmly says “you sound like you know something.” Ashley tells Shae that Jesse J tried to hook up not just with Salwa, but her. Shae rolls her eyes and says she’s over all the drama with him.
Shae calls Anna to consult with her because she STILL doesn’t know who to believe (Really? Really?) and Anna gets annoyed that Shae keeps asking her opinion on the matter when Shae obviously knows her opinion by now. Hysterically (there’s a reason Anna is my favorite) she shoves the phone at Tyler so he can talk to Shae. This is a great exchange, because Shae whines, “Ew, I don’t wanna talk to Tyler,” and then as soon as he says “What’s up?” she doesn’t miss a beat, and asks “What do you think? Is Jesse lying?” I want to laugh, so bad, but it’s so sad that this girl can’t seem to think for herself. Tyler points out that obvious, that of course Jesse J is lying, and Shae needs to make up her mind.
“But tell me, should I TiVo The Bachelor or How I Met Your Mother? What do you think? This is so haaaard!”