BUCKWILD Recap: The Lament of the Jesses

Recaps

By Dashley | Friday, January 18, 2013 | 6:31 pm | 14 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Buckwild, Recaps

Joey is napping in his truck. Riveting television. A cop walks by, and Joey immediately tries to explain away something, I don’t know what, to the officer, who keeps walking. Shain hops in the truck excited that he got some “mun-aaaay!” He has a whole $77, and I haven’t seen Shain this alive or this unintelligible yet this season!

Shae is in the car with Anna, and calls Jesse J to tell him she’s coming to get her stuff. Anna awkwardly and silently loads up the car while Shae argues with him about drama that makes no sense because we have no context that we’ve seen in the course of the show. Shae seems offended that he doesn’t want to work on their relationship more, which is just sad, and of course he belittles her and her “fake friends.” He does truthfully call out her lack of a backbone, but still. That was way harsh, Tai. Meanwhile, Anna’s having a fight of her own. 

“A little help here, guys?”

Back at the girl’s house, Tyler and Shain have rigged trash can lids to the back of a tractor. They tell Katie that she has to go first because she’s the only one that has a helmet. This is comedy gold, because her helmet is an equestrian helmet. And a good look for her! 

Not sure what to call this. Land-lidding?

An SUV pulls up with legs sticking out the windows, and instantly, everyone is confused. Ashley drove up and Jesse Bleep is in the passenger seat, sleeping, vomit all over him. Everyone is disgusted and decides to leave him there, while they ride around land-lidding some more. 

Is that cash tucked into his waistband? 

Jesse Bleep is up, seemingly wearing the same clothes that he was wearing when he vomited all over himself. He asks Salwa where her boyfriend is, and tells her that her boyfriend won’t stop him. From what? And what boyfriend? Everyone is really offended, and I’m guessing that the look (and probably smell) of him has more to do with it than the words coming out of his mouth. 

 “What? I showered just last week!”

Salwa, however, takes pity on him, because he’s “Patrick Swasted.” Salwa honey, that’s called trying too hard. She goes outside to try to talk him down, but he keeps babbling and heckling everyone inside. Tyler finds his chance to throw down, and pushes him down some steps and punches him in the face. Jesse Bleep loses his pants in the process of getting his ass kicked. Joey screams at JB that he needs to leave, and he’s never welcome back! The girls all fluff Tyler up and tell him how hot it was that he kicked Jesse Bleep’s ass. 

It really is Tyler’s night. This is also the night he became a woman. 

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6
Dashley
About

Loving pop culture since 1982. Loving TVGasm since 2012. I'd LOVE it if you followed me on twitter at @DashleyinCali.

14 Comments

  1. 1
    begonia skies
    Posted January 19, 2013 at 6:03 am

    my guess is nps stands for no pussy shit, which i can kinda get behind. these kids might be obnoxious but at least the girls aren’t whiny princesses.

  2. 2
    darlingclementine
    Posted January 19, 2013 at 9:43 am

    they wear heels alot for running around in the country. everytime i try to wear heels in the country I either get laughed at or literally can not do the activities in heels.

    that being said, sledding behind a 4wheeler is a blast!!

    and they probably arent showing us all of the drunken gun shooting that I am sure that happens. I remember one time I went to a country party and at the drunkenest part of the party everyone got out their guns and started shooting targets (they said it was a good indicator of how drunk they were). Being the pansy I am, I just happened to have to go inside and use the bathroom until said shooting was over…

  3. 3
    Dashley Dashley
    Posted January 19, 2013 at 12:22 pm

    @ Begonia – I was being facetious – I know what NPS stands for. ;-) I did give Cara some credit when she made that observation that while getting an NPS tattoo, you can’t complain. I, for one, don’t have any tattoos, because I AM admittedly a pussy, and I get nauseous just thinking about the process of getting tattooed.
    @ Clementine – you’re probably right. I have no doubt. I’m just shocked that they showed people shooting who obviously have no training, in an uncontrolled situation, and I feel like they’re setting themselves up for a lawsuit or something. It was surprising to me the same way it was surprising the first time I heard a cable TV network not bleep out the word “shit” after 10 PM.

  4. 4
    begonia skies
    Posted January 19, 2013 at 12:59 pm

    @dashley – hahaha sorry! sometimes i’m too literal and i didn’t watch this episode so i wasn’t sure how obvious they actually made it.

  5. 5
    Ed
    Posted January 19, 2013 at 1:45 pm

    That first episode was one of the weirdest ones yet. I literally could not follow Shae and Jessie J’s argument. I had an easier time understanding Shain.

    I might be wrong, but I am getting this vibe from her, does anyone else think Ashley is a bit skanky? She seemed to have no issue at Jessie Bleep’s house and she showed up with him. Something about just seems to be off.

  6. 6
    Tadow
    Posted January 19, 2013 at 7:23 pm

    yes. A penis can be too big. My captcha is: gift horse

  7. 7
    c8h10n4o2
    Posted January 19, 2013 at 10:54 pm

    A penis can DEFINITELY be too big. My captcha? Saber tooth.

  8. 8
    LadyStardust
    Posted January 20, 2013 at 12:04 am

    Honest question: Do most places make you have a license just to shoot a gun? I mean, I know you need one to hunt generally, but just for target practice? I’m from WV and that’s a TOTALLY normal thing there. I don’t even flinch when I hear gun shots (which is probably bad…I now live in CA and if someone shot up my entire apartment complex at night, I’d probably sleep through it).

    Most people that I knew just grew up with guns so we were taught at a very early age how to use them and respect them. We had dozens of guns in our house but I only used them around an adult family member and knew not to ever play with them. I just hope these kids ARE being careful.

    I thought that Anna actually said “Justin BEIBER” when talking about the birth time. But I might have mis-heard.

    I almost threw up when Shae was licking Justin Beavers. He just looks so DIRTY — like he only showers every other week.

  9. 9
    ase
    Posted January 20, 2013 at 11:02 am

    LadyStardust and Dashley – you do not need a license to own or shoot a rifle/shotgun anywhere in the country. You need a permit to go hunting, but since they were just target shooting and not hunting on what looked like private property, no piece of paper authorizing them to shoot would be required of them.

    I’m from NY and am pro-gun (in the hands of responsible people!1!) and I have no problem with those kids target shooting. I think all of the guys knew what they were doing (and it sounded like Ashley did, too), so it didn’t seem like any of them were in any danger. I know a few people from WV and I’m pretty sure mostly everyone in that state is a gun owner and based on what I’ve heard from them, these kids target shooting doesn’t seem out of the ordinary.

    WTF was up with Ashley bringing Jesse B around all drunk? Where did they come from? Why didn’t she leave him where he was? So many questions…

  10. 10
    Ed
    Posted January 20, 2013 at 11:06 am

    Also those were maybe the worst places I’ve ever seen tattoos put. The inside of the heel? The back of the knee? I’ve seen tattoos on the inside of the lip, but Shae’s was off center. I was cracking up when I saw where they were putting these tats!

    BTW my captcha says steak and eggs and I’m now hungry!

  11. 11
    labowner
    Posted January 22, 2013 at 3:34 pm

    I love how much fun these kids seem to have. Although, not sure if I could watch this season after season, but I like them and wouldn’t care to see drama over take them.

    Ed wasn’t the “n” running on the back of her knee?

  12. 12
    Ed
    Posted January 22, 2013 at 3:41 pm

    labowner It looked like it. Clearly not a master tattoo artist this man.

  13. 13
    jayjay
    Posted January 23, 2013 at 6:24 pm

    I think joey is hot…the tattoos are hot …but i dont like shae..she seems stuck up….and its west Virginia its ok to shoot guns..ha

  14. 14
    jayjay
    Posted January 23, 2013 at 6:27 pm

    And ashley might be doin jesse b….gross!!!

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Human Verification: In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.