BUCKWILD Recap: The Lament of the Jesses

Recaps

By Dashley | Friday, January 18, 2013 | 6:31 pm | 14 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Buckwild, Recaps

Ashley takes off her top to streak as a reward for Tyler. Maybe. I mean, I don’t think she needs a major reason to take her top off at any time. I really don’t know why Joey also strips down and streaks, but maybe he just didn’t want Ashley to outdo him.

 

Episode 6: Birthday Wishes Can Come True

Anna and Shae are unloading all of Shae’s stuff out of Anna’s car as Katie stands unhelpfully by. Right now, Shae’s new room is full of blacklights, and no one seems to know why. I think think they should march those blacklights over to Tyler’s house and look for evidence. I don’t know what of, exactly, but I guarantee there’s evidence of something at Tyler’s. 

Back at Shain’s house, Joey and Tyler are making up a flyer for a lawn-mowing service because they need money. I wish they would recognize that they aren’t the greatest PR talent to ever grace West Virginia and fill out an application somewhere. 

Sounds like a good setup for a porn movie. 

At the girls’ house, Shae is telling Anna and Cara that Jesse J is trying to get back with her. They are telling her just to ignore him when they hear gunshots. I’d hit the floor, but they just wonder out loud, “Was that a gun…?” It’s actually Tyler and Shain shooting plywood for the hell of it. All the girls go to join them. Actually, Salwa runs to go join them, and pervy as ever, Shain yells out “Baywatch!” as Salwa’s boobs bounce.

Shain teaches Shae to shoot, and then Salwa takes a turn. In heels. Do you not have to have a license for this in WV, and if so, do they really want evidence of this on TV? (Edit: after the commercial, we actually did get a quick PSA/disclaimer from MTV about the misuse of guns. Hmmm…)

At Shain’s holler, he’s charmingly reminiscing through a tobacco-stuffed mouth about that night that he and Joey were “walking down that road and we found that daggone cooler and them dirty magazines?” Joey has no idea what he’s talking about. 

Are you sure this wasn’t something you dreamed? It sounds like a dream.

We learn that it’s Joey’s birthday weekend, and number one on his wish list? Shae. Tyler tells us that he doesn’t blame Joey, because Shae is hot, but she is out of his league. To celebrate his birthday, Joey does a burnout with his truck. I don’t know, I’d rather smell birthday cake than burning rubber. 

Shae, Cara, and Ashley are driving somewhere, and for once, Shae actually has a smile on her face! And she looks so pretty! It’s nice to see her not scowling from drama. Ashley tells us that in West Virginia, there are three things you do to get over a guy: Shoot guns (check,) get a tattoo (almost check because that’s what they’re doing now,) and have a rebound hookup (foreshadowing a check for later on in the episode.) The three of them are getting matching tattoos: they will say “NPS,” which stands for “No P**** S***.” Wait, I’m confused. No Premarital Sex? No Porn Stars? I really wish they hadn’t bleeped it, because I just don’t understand. Cara, who suddenly has a sense of humor, tells us that the worst part about getting an NPS tattoo is that it hurts like hell, but you have to pretend it doesn’t, because that would be PS. We learn that this is Shae’s first tattoo, and she needs her leg rubbed while she gets it.

Who wore it best? Clockwise, from top: Ashley, Cara, Shae.

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Dashley
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Loving pop culture since 1982. Loving TVGasm since 2012. I'd LOVE it if you followed me on twitter at @DashleyinCali.

14 Comments

  1. 1
    begonia skies
    Posted January 19, 2013 at 6:03 am

    my guess is nps stands for no pussy shit, which i can kinda get behind. these kids might be obnoxious but at least the girls aren’t whiny princesses.

  2. 2
    darlingclementine
    Posted January 19, 2013 at 9:43 am

    they wear heels alot for running around in the country. everytime i try to wear heels in the country I either get laughed at or literally can not do the activities in heels.

    that being said, sledding behind a 4wheeler is a blast!!

    and they probably arent showing us all of the drunken gun shooting that I am sure that happens. I remember one time I went to a country party and at the drunkenest part of the party everyone got out their guns and started shooting targets (they said it was a good indicator of how drunk they were). Being the pansy I am, I just happened to have to go inside and use the bathroom until said shooting was over…

  3. 3
    Dashley Dashley
    Posted January 19, 2013 at 12:22 pm

    @ Begonia – I was being facetious – I know what NPS stands for. ;-) I did give Cara some credit when she made that observation that while getting an NPS tattoo, you can’t complain. I, for one, don’t have any tattoos, because I AM admittedly a pussy, and I get nauseous just thinking about the process of getting tattooed.
    @ Clementine – you’re probably right. I have no doubt. I’m just shocked that they showed people shooting who obviously have no training, in an uncontrolled situation, and I feel like they’re setting themselves up for a lawsuit or something. It was surprising to me the same way it was surprising the first time I heard a cable TV network not bleep out the word “shit” after 10 PM.

  4. 4
    begonia skies
    Posted January 19, 2013 at 12:59 pm

    @dashley – hahaha sorry! sometimes i’m too literal and i didn’t watch this episode so i wasn’t sure how obvious they actually made it.

  5. 5
    Ed
    Posted January 19, 2013 at 1:45 pm

    That first episode was one of the weirdest ones yet. I literally could not follow Shae and Jessie J’s argument. I had an easier time understanding Shain.

    I might be wrong, but I am getting this vibe from her, does anyone else think Ashley is a bit skanky? She seemed to have no issue at Jessie Bleep’s house and she showed up with him. Something about just seems to be off.

  6. 6
    Tadow
    Posted January 19, 2013 at 7:23 pm

    yes. A penis can be too big. My captcha is: gift horse

  7. 7
    c8h10n4o2
    Posted January 19, 2013 at 10:54 pm

    A penis can DEFINITELY be too big. My captcha? Saber tooth.

  8. 8
    LadyStardust
    Posted January 20, 2013 at 12:04 am

    Honest question: Do most places make you have a license just to shoot a gun? I mean, I know you need one to hunt generally, but just for target practice? I’m from WV and that’s a TOTALLY normal thing there. I don’t even flinch when I hear gun shots (which is probably bad…I now live in CA and if someone shot up my entire apartment complex at night, I’d probably sleep through it).

    Most people that I knew just grew up with guns so we were taught at a very early age how to use them and respect them. We had dozens of guns in our house but I only used them around an adult family member and knew not to ever play with them. I just hope these kids ARE being careful.

    I thought that Anna actually said “Justin BEIBER” when talking about the birth time. But I might have mis-heard.

    I almost threw up when Shae was licking Justin Beavers. He just looks so DIRTY — like he only showers every other week.

  9. 9
    ase
    Posted January 20, 2013 at 11:02 am

    LadyStardust and Dashley – you do not need a license to own or shoot a rifle/shotgun anywhere in the country. You need a permit to go hunting, but since they were just target shooting and not hunting on what looked like private property, no piece of paper authorizing them to shoot would be required of them.

    I’m from NY and am pro-gun (in the hands of responsible people!1!) and I have no problem with those kids target shooting. I think all of the guys knew what they were doing (and it sounded like Ashley did, too), so it didn’t seem like any of them were in any danger. I know a few people from WV and I’m pretty sure mostly everyone in that state is a gun owner and based on what I’ve heard from them, these kids target shooting doesn’t seem out of the ordinary.

    WTF was up with Ashley bringing Jesse B around all drunk? Where did they come from? Why didn’t she leave him where he was? So many questions…

  10. 10
    Ed
    Posted January 20, 2013 at 11:06 am

    Also those were maybe the worst places I’ve ever seen tattoos put. The inside of the heel? The back of the knee? I’ve seen tattoos on the inside of the lip, but Shae’s was off center. I was cracking up when I saw where they were putting these tats!

    BTW my captcha says steak and eggs and I’m now hungry!

  11. 11
    labowner
    Posted January 22, 2013 at 3:34 pm

    I love how much fun these kids seem to have. Although, not sure if I could watch this season after season, but I like them and wouldn’t care to see drama over take them.

    Ed wasn’t the “n” running on the back of her knee?

  12. 12
    Ed
    Posted January 22, 2013 at 3:41 pm

    labowner It looked like it. Clearly not a master tattoo artist this man.

  13. 13
    jayjay
    Posted January 23, 2013 at 6:24 pm

    I think joey is hot…the tattoos are hot …but i dont like shae..she seems stuck up….and its west Virginia its ok to shoot guns..ha

  14. 14
    jayjay
    Posted January 23, 2013 at 6:27 pm

    And ashley might be doin jesse b….gross!!!

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