****Please welcome Auditiongasm winner, Dashley!!
Hey Gasmii! I’m Dashley, and I’m so excited to be losing my Official-Recapper-on TVGasm virginity. Auditiongasm was a tough fight, but I love this site. I feel like it’s a community.
Here’s my disclaimer going into Buckwild: besides the obvious reasons to disdain the people on this show, I may go beyond that with some personal stuff. True story: I have an ex-boyfriend who fancied himself a redneck. He hunted, fished, drove a pickup truck, was a volunteer fireman (complete with inexplicable facial hair,) listened to nothing but country music, didn’t care about reading or politics, even had a hound dog. He had never left the state of New York, but still: he was a redneck, and proud of it. Fair or not, all this was incredibly annoying to me. So if I seem to be giving these people even less credit than they deserve, well, that’s why.
Episode 1: F*** The Neighborhood
In the first five seconds, we are introduced to the premise of the show. We see a girl jump naked off a railroad bridge while a voiceover says “West Virginia is a place founded on freedom. The freedom to do whatever the f*** you want!”
Shain, AKA Gandy Candy: He tells us that they call him that because “it’s trick-or-treat all year round.” He does this while thrusting awkwardly toward the camera.
Anna: Who is chill, but known to get into a fight or two.
Joey, AKA Justin Beavers: (I wish to GOD I had made that nickname up myself.) He doesn’t know about the Justin, but “you KNOW I know about the beaver.” Which, by my interpretation means that he’s probably a virgin. And needs a haircut.
Cara: The new girl in town (meaning she didn’t grow up with these people, in this town, but MTV cast her because the people who were already there weren’t pretty enough.) We know her by her five-inch heels.
Tyler, AKA Prettyboy: He likes to clean up for the women. We do get a shirtless shot of him that’s not totally unwelcome.
Shae: She’s a Southern belle, but likes to think of herself as one of the guys.
Ashley: Around here, she’s known for trouble. We see her screaming at her mom on the phone. That doesn’t seem that troublesome compared to the stuff some of the other cast members seem to be doing.
They’re all just out of high school, and they’re either partying, having fun in college, or working hard for a living.