Burning Love Recap: An All Star Intro

OMG Gasmii!

Have you seen the fabulous Yahoo webi Burning Love? It’s hilarious and best of all it contains an all star cast who are clearly willing to be small players in a small pond if it means sinking their teeth into something fun and well written.

Ben Stiller (among others) produces this wonderful gem of a spoof on The Bachelor and I, for one, am thrilled to have a dating show that actually points out how ridiculous dating shows are.

 The show follows fireman Mark Orlando, a bachelor with more hunks of muscle than hunks of brain.

And a stunningly sensitive side.

Ken Marino plays the title role and does a fabulous job revealing what seems like the inner monologue of all men brought out in the open for the world to hear. This guy is hot and as I watched the episode I knew I had seen him before. His IMDB shows a list of characters on a bazillion tv shows, but I think it was his appearance on my secret guilty pleasure Charmed that was ringing a bell for me.

This man can hose me anytime!

Mark has 20 eligible bachelorettes to choose from. Each week he will have to decide which one of his aspiring true loves will not be receiving his rose hose, the symbol of his continued interest in exploring a relationship with them.

The fire hose of love

As the show starts, the host interviews Mark and we learn a little more about him. He’s hoping to find someone who can make him laugh but isn’t afraid of robots. Also it would be nice if she were ethnic.

So the host of the show is Michael Ian Black, I think he’s a comic, but I only know him from all the VH1 commentary he does on shows like Where Are They Now and 50 best videos of the mid 1980′s. He great as a the profound thinker pulling the tough answers out of Mark. I love his intro:

“Honeychild, this ain’t the real world!”

MIB tells Mark that twenty women will be arriving at the mansion but he’s going to have to eliminate five of them right away. Mark is dismayed to have to pass up on so much putang so quickly.

First to arrive is Tamara G.

She tells Mark that she gets a lot of attention for what she looks like on the outside but she can’t wait to show him what she looks like on the inside. She looks like a keeper.

Julia is next and she’s clearly overly self-conscious and insecure. After almost ducking back into the car and quitting before she starts, she comes over to Mark and opens up with a speech she has prepared. Except she can’t remember what it is a very wise man once said and so she stands there awkwardly and points out that forgetting was a very bad thing.

My prediction: Julia will be her own worst enemy.

Julia by the way, is also a dental hygienist, as was Tamara G. Looks like in this fictitious world cavities are on the decline.

Next to arrive is Annie. She’s super cute and a kindergarten teacher, which makes me think she’ll be a serious contender for Mark’s heart. But she bombs in her attempt to amuse Mark by warning him that she’s got a serious addiction to watching sports on tv.

Mark scolds Annie for not being herself.

Haley arrives next, with her bottom half blurred out. She announces right away that she’s horny and Mark is delighted by her antics. She tells Mark she likes to lay all her cards out on the table right away and Mark can’t stop grinning at the fact that Haley has forgotten her underwear while shoving her skirt up around her waist. She also appears to be drunk.