Catfish Recap: A Model, Idiot.

Recaps

By Honey Gangsta | Friday, February 1, 2013 | 12:00 pm | 25 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Catfish, Recaps

They all sit down at a restaurant and James starts right out with, “It was never my intention to deceive you.”  Uh… yes it obviously was, James.  I don’t know why they say this every single time.  If it hadn’t been their intention to deceive anyone, we wouldn’t be here having this conversation.  Anyway, James has brought along an entire file of paperwork that he says will help explain what’s been going on.  He grew up in the ghetto and there was no access to public transportation in his neighborhood, so he petitioned his county government and got buses to service his area.  This was at age 14.  A few years later, some guy stole some buses and drove them around and everyone remembered James from his bus crusade and associated him with buses, so he got blamed as the guy who stole the buses.  Huh?  That sounds like a stretch to me.  He spent two years in county jail trying to clear his name… and finally did.  While in jail he passed the certification to become an actual bus driver, which he is now.  That’s an odd career choice considering what he’s claiming to have gone through and why.  When he was released he stopped going by James because he didn’t want to be associated with the bus debacle anymore.  He didn’t want everyone googling his name and finding out about his police record.  Rico points out that he’s not “everyone.”  James assures Rico that his heart never lied.  Whatever that means.  Only his mouth did?

The next day we all meet up again at another park.  James is frantic to get Rico to tell him everything is okay. 

“I’ll still help you become a model.  You can take my bus to your castings. “

He talks about worrying all night that Rico was mad at him, then he thanks Rico for giving him the strength to be free from what was holding him back.  He finally asks Rico to forgive him.  Rico says that yes he’ll forgive him but he won’t forget what happened.  And he needs to go to his mother in England now and make sure she’s okay.  And if he loves it there and decides to stay, maybe James can come with him!  I don’t know, what would James do for work?  They drive on the other side of the road in England.  Nev has to wrap things up so they hug and noisily kiss several times goodbye.  

A month later Rico’s mom has improved.  And Rico has decided to stay in the US so that he can be with James.  And James is happy to leave his past in the past and move on.  They plan to get together again soon.  Awwww.

This episode wasn’t nearly as shocking as some we’ve seen, but we still got that ever-present phony modeling story.  What’s with everyone pretending to be a model and everyone believing that everyone else IS a model?  How did you guys like this one?

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Late one afternoon in 2005, Honey Gangsta received an invite to join a two person blog set up by her former roommate who had recently ditched LA (California knows how to party) for the bright lights of NYC (these streets will make you feel brand new, the lights will inspire you). The purpose of the blog was to continue their nightly ritual of ripping on reality TV, which could no longer be done in person. Since Honey Gangsta was still watching 18 hours of TV a day and had nothing else to do, she agreed. 10,000 hits later, HG was inspired to submit a Bachelor recap to TVgasm - no one was reporting on Officer Mayo and his time traveling DeLorean - and the rest is history. It's been said that she writes what you're thinking. It's been said she is a genius - a Blogger Laureate of her time. It's also been said that the earth is flat and no one landed on the moon, so you just never know. With her keen observations, and colorful commentary, Honey Gangsta is beloved the world over.

25 Comments

  1. 1
    EmWynn
    Posted February 1, 2013 at 8:05 pm

    “Rico stands up to walk over to him and they both proceed toward each other down what seems like the longest sidewalk in the world.”

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I’m so glad I wasn’t the only one watching that scene and thinking this! :)

    Thanks for the (as always) awesome recap!

  2. 2
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted February 1, 2013 at 8:43 pm

    My first thought was that James has a bus fetish.
    I think he really did steal the buses, because becoming a bus driver after traumatically spending two years in jail for being wrongfully accused of impersonating a bus driver? That’s like Andy Dusfrene escaping and becoming a hit man.
    He knows he stole that damn bus, and just used his time in prison to legitimize his fetish so he could practice it in the open. A voyeuristic bus fetishist, that’s what he is.

    Rico was cute as a button though. lol at his tight ass plaid shorts.
    His butt looked so round in those things.

  3. 3
    Cheergirl
    Posted February 1, 2013 at 10:16 pm

    I was rooting for them in the end because they seemed to be the most normal people to ever be shown on that show

  4. 4
    Pinklotus
    Posted February 2, 2013 at 5:40 am

    His explanation for how he was blamed for the bus incident was definitely fishy. Someone stole buses, and he was blamed because he petitioned for a bus route 4 years earlier? Um, no. I doubt it.
    But I actually kind of liked him. I was happy that Rico gave him a chance.

  5. 5
    badgerfreak
    Posted February 2, 2013 at 9:06 am

    These last two episodes have definitely been the craziest of the season, plot-wise. You can’t even make this shit up! Rico seemed like a legit guy, and I felt sorry for him that he got deceived. I thought it was interesting that this was the first openly gay relationship, instead of it being a straight person being tricked by a gay person. If they’re happy together, bully for them!

  6. 6
    darlingclementine
    Posted February 2, 2013 at 11:05 am

    Well that was interesting… still despite all of the other stuff it has been the only episode where the person actually looks like the person they say they are! It also seemed that even though he had a “fake” name, that was what he was going by for a while and his real friends used that facebook account.

    But yeah he totally stole that bus. As @chaosbutterfly said, dude has a bus fetish. I dont want to know what he does on the bus when he takes it back to the garage…

    I used to have a friend that would actually accept odd friend requests and believe that the people he was talking to were “models”… even though all of the chick’s friends were random men. I remember watching them facebook chat and trying to get him to stop but he loved it. I think to some people it doesnt matter whats real or not they just want to believe it anyway.

    I suspect the next ep will be insane and result in a brawl or something due to the record amount of love shown in this ep.

  7. 7
    Valleygirl
    Posted February 2, 2013 at 12:41 pm

    My fave part was when Max was all \He didn’t even show up on google image search!\ Like if the almighty google search can’t find you, they literally don’t know what to do. Haha. It killed me.
    I think out of all the Catfishes, the bus driver story was the weirdest damn thing I’ve ever heard. And we’ve had faux Swedish transgenders on vampire freaks y’all.

  8. 8
    JudgyWudgy
    Posted February 2, 2013 at 3:27 pm

    James was waaaaaay too “Miss Jay” for my taste.

  9. 9
    She Stinks!
    Posted February 2, 2013 at 4:24 pm

    James has a bus fetish, but Nev has a fetish for his own feet, even in this show he’s always rubbing and diddling his feet. Gross.

    Rico couldn’t of figured out that this guy wasn’t a model? He doesn’t know how to google? I loved how Nev puts the pieces together, like he’s with Marg Helgenberger on a CSI rerun. Hysterical. Its like he solved the Kennedy assassination.

  10. 10
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted February 2, 2013 at 6:47 pm

    Have you guys seen the SNL sketch? Funny! Especially the take on Nev..

  11. 11
    mere2142
    Posted February 2, 2013 at 6:56 pm

    That sketch is awesome. I love Max in it! And they even got the weird aide door thing.

  12. 12
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted February 2, 2013 at 7:04 pm

    I should add that this parody is much, much funnier:

  13. 13
    JudgyWudgy
    Posted February 2, 2013 at 8:18 pm

    I want so badly to like the SNL one but they have the music all wrong…..that and I refuse to like anything that involves Adam Levine.

  14. 14
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted February 2, 2013 at 8:36 pm

    Plus, they totally missed out on the chest hair. Not only is the chest hair present in the 2nd video, it’s hashtagged. #Nev’schesthair

    Both videos spoof Max so hard, I almost feel bad. Then I giggle.

  15. 15
    Gilty Plezzur
    Posted February 3, 2013 at 3:37 pm

    Another TVgasm recap that has led me to watching a show I wouldn’t have ordinarily watched. I finally broke myself of the Toddlers and Tiaras habit, and now I have Catfish to take its place. Damn. Anyway, Rico is a hot baby boy and can do much better than J’mari, who looks sort of like a younger, better-looking Flavor Flav. I kept hoping Rico would choose to stay in the UK and find himself a hot Brit and a modeling career there. If I were him, I ‘d rather have somebody tell tall tales to me in a sexy British accent. Changing the subject, what is the point of Max? I mean, why have somebody filming somebody filming somebody?

  16. 16
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted February 4, 2013 at 7:50 am

    On Max’s facebook, there are pictures of J’Mari and Rico chilling at the beach.
    It also appears that Nev removed his tramp stamp because he’s wearing some tiny ass trunks and it’s nowhere to be found.

  17. 17
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted February 4, 2013 at 8:05 am

    Oh yeah, and I found the story about the bus:
    http://www.metrojacksonville.com/forum/index.php?topic=2857.0

    He 100% stole those buses.
    The drivers he befriended know his face and he called to turn himself in.
    He also has a fetish, because he was making out with a man on the bus.

  18. 18
    annie annie
    Posted February 4, 2013 at 9:24 am

    @chaos…..LMAO thanks for that link! James sure does like the double dutch bus!!!!!
    Goddamn it, there’s ALWAYS a catch with this show. Just when I think they found a decent person who only told a few white lies, turns out homeboy has a criminal bus fetish.

    I live in Albuquerque, and a few months back we had a meth-head steal a school bus, drive it down the wrong-side of the freeway……..while naked. Very talented.

  19. 19
    JudgyWudgy
    Posted February 4, 2013 at 11:47 am

    Uh, if somebody spent two years wrongly accused in jail and successfully cleared their name, wouldn’t there be a news story about said person clearing said name?

  20. 20
    labowner
    Posted February 4, 2013 at 11:54 am

    Yes you would think Judgy, but like retractions they are usually not celebrated as much because then someone would have to admit they fucked up and society has accepted zero personal responsibility as a mantra. That is what disturbs me about this show – doesn’t matter what you do, how badly you treated someone, lied etc as long as you apologize in the end, all is forgiven.

  21. 21
    labowner
    Posted February 4, 2013 at 12:01 pm

    Chaos from another article about the bus theft –

    Believe it or not, this is not the first time such an incident has occurred in Florida.

    A couple of years ago in Orlando, a young boy stole a bus and then drove it along its route picking up passengers and collecting fares.

    15-year-old Ritchie Davis took the LYNX public transit service bus from an auction site parking lot. Authorities noted that the bus was being driven at normal speeds, making all of its regular stops along the route. One of the passengers that the boy picked up became suspicious of his youthful appearance and called police.

    “I drove that bus better than most of the LYNX drivers could,” the teen told a deputy after his arrest. “There isn’t a scratch on it. I know how to start it, drive it, lower it, raise it.”

    In a remarkable coincidence, after arresting Davis, authorities discovered that he was already on probation for a similar bus theft. Earlier in the year, he had stolen a tour bus and driven passengers around without any incident.

    Davis was charged with grand theft auto and driving without a license.

    Gotta love Floridiots.

  22. 22
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted February 4, 2013 at 12:02 pm

    @labowner, but you also have to keep in mind that the people getting duped have zero self-respect, so of course they accept apologies from liars and their half-baked reasons as to why they lie.

  23. 23
    labowner
    Posted February 4, 2013 at 12:49 pm

    Yep and narcissistic as well Derek.

  24. 24
    rebecca pressley
    Posted February 5, 2013 at 9:34 pm

    Damn Queers

  25. 25
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted February 5, 2013 at 11:00 pm

    Nev (or whoever manages the catfish facebook page) is mentally ill. About James and Rico, here’s what was written on there about this episode:

    “This past week’s episode only proved how powerful and surprising love can be.
    ‘Like’ this if you’ve ever been caught off-guard by a secret admirer.’

    ….is this real life? Or just fantasy?
    Because these people are not secret admirers, they are liars, psychos, confused as hell or just plain old fucked up. And apparently, bus fetishists!!
    This show is gonna have people thinking that it’s okay to catfish others as long as you apologize (somewhat) in the end.

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