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Thursday, January 10, 2013
9:00 am
32 Comments
Tagged: Catfish, hilarious, Honey Gangsta, Miss United States Teen, MTV, Nev Schulman, recap, spoiler, spoof, TV, tvgasm
Well Nev is rolling in enough dough to be lounging around ordering the “premium package” for his new television. For doing this! Introducing desperate people and liars to each other! At least get off the bed and entertain us, Nev. You’re being filmed for heaven’s sake! Okay he finally pulls out his laptop to select his next participant. He reads us an email from Joe, a regular guy in western New York who is carrying on an online romance with what he calls a celebrity. She was Miss United States Teen in 2003. Miss United States? That’s the name of the pageant in the Sandra Bullock movie Miss Congeniality. “She’s beauty and she’s grace… she’s Miss United States…” Sounds fake. Anyway Joe is in love and ready to get out of his hometown and start a new life with Kari Ann. But that can’t happen until Nev and crew facilitate it. Max is immediately suspicious. Let’s skype Joe.
Joe can skype, but only if he goes to a local bookstore that has wifi. His computer at home is old school with no web cam. Joe keeps talking about wanting to get out of his town and start a life with Kari Ann, but when Nev asks him why he doesn’t just go see her, Joe says he doesn’t have the money. Soooo… is his big plan to live off of her and her beauty pageant money? No matter! Nev is on the case.
“I’m just the kind of arm candy she’s looking for!”
After the skype Nev and Max Google Kari Ann and discover that she’s posed in Playboy. They also keep referring to her as Miss Teen USA, which, I would like to point out, is NOT the pageant she won. In fact, it’s a pageant she was in and lost. She won Miss United States Teen, which may or may not be a real pageant, I don’t know. I’d also like to point out here that I know who this girl is. She was on Celebrity Rehab AND Sex Rehab and she is a living nightmare. She was awful to everyone on the show, got kicked off, punched a camera guy, and fought with everyone. Including the psychiatrists and therapists. She was obviously very invested in her recovery. This is not the type of girl who would troll the internet for a date. She seems more like the type of girl who would do something like this just to completely humiliate the guy when she pulls the rug out from under him. That’s how mean she was on those shows.
“Maybe if I ran off with a regular guy from a small town I’d be nicer.”
So Nev and Max travel to Warsaw, New York where they find Joe out in his yard near a trampoline with his dog. Naturally Joe lives in the middle of nowhere and he shows the guys his four wheelers and his mom’s horses. Joe is a total doofus. I’m sure he’s a nice kid, but he’s actually convinced that this beauty queen sought HIM out on Facebook and wants a relationship with him.
“Just lucky I guess.”
And she lives in LA, where she apparently has no dating opportunities at all. While Joe is showing the guys Kari Ann’s Facebook page, we learn that she has a child named Preston. I looked this up and she was married to some guy for four months, then he filed for divorce while she was pregnant and demanded a paternity test. What a charming situation! Joe totally doesn’t mind that Kari Ann has a baby. That’s nice of him. He DOES say that he’s wondered if someone – like his ex-girlfriend – might be doing all this to trick him, but the voice on his voicemail saying she’s Kari Ann and she loves him doesn’t sound at all like the ex.
“Would I ever fool you?”
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32 Comments
I was embarrassed that the moment they said her name, I knew exactly who Kari Ann was from Celebrity Rehab. Perhaps I watch too much shit tv?
Is anyone else not buying Rose’s model story?
Max – the voice if reason – where have you been all of these weeks?
Rose? A model for psychosis, maybe.
Of all the people to impersonate she picked one of the most horrid people on the planet?
Why would you pick her?
“Hey Kari-annnnnnn, whats your game now??? Can anybody play?”
aahhhh– do love me some oldies from the juke-box!!
and Lordy Lordy– my cap code is……..game is up
word cap code word
Nev really got fooled in this one.
I wonder if KariAnn has seen this episode and knows someone else is getting laid by being her?
Max was upset bc Rose lied to them and not because she lied to Joe!
Oh, Nev, clearly the phrase “Fool me once…etc..” Doesn’t apply to you!
I am so glad you mentioned the talking horse part! I too was wondering where this schtick with the talking horse was coming from and then suddenly, “Oh, it’s the strange-voiced Dad.” And we still never got an answer on who Kyle was that verified the phone number and that he had bonked Kari Ann. A friend of Rose’s? Maybe Rose bonked him in the dark and he thinks he actually bonked Kari Ann? And lastly, why does everyone on this show have a such a huge ego that they constantly believe models are in love with them? Do they own a mirror?
I second the Mr. Ed thought. I had to rewind it because I totally thought the horse was talking!!
Max must have eaten his Wheaties before this episode! I have never seen so passionate and outspoken! On the other hand, Nev seemed like he forgot where he was half the time. He seemed completely bumfuzzled.
GREAT recap, btw!!!
Is it mean of me to think Joe should be on that Vampire Freaks site as I am assuming the girls would swoon when they saw his teeth?
Great recap!!!
This episode was a total mindfuck!!!!!!
Why would Rose pretend to be Kari Anne, one of the trashiest skanks in all the land?
Did the dude google Kari Anne, see the many references of meth, sex tapes, bizarre engagements, and rehab stints and just say …..mehhh, whatever?
Will Rose eventually stab poor Joe in his sleep and use his blood as lipstick in some kind of psycho skank ritual? BECAUSE SHE IS BATSHIT CRAZY
Nev and the Gang were kinda harsh in the first episode on the Model/Comedy Cue Card Writer/Online Anesthesiology Student chick, but in a nice way.
I think that they were just super pissed that Rose lied to them flat out at the batting cages. They may have been more mellow if she had lied to them at putt putt. It was probably just a knee jerk reaction because they didn’t figure it out themselves and they were so sure she was the real deal and they just completely schooled.
Joe was pretty cool about it though – he was all “Oh, that sucks, but whatevs. How fast does my ATV go, man?” Makes me wonder what they grow up on the farm in Warsaw, NY.
And I thought that episode with Missy was some crazy shit.
But this bitch? This bitch right here? She blows Missy out of the water and off the entire planet.
At least Missy had some kind of motive.
This chick built an entire life and deceived how many dudes (including one of her friends) for NO DAMN REASON.
And can we discuss the other guy that she was apparently “facebook proposing to” using the same profile? The look Nev gave her upon discovering her e-infidelity had me rolling. I’ve never seen him look at someone like that with his rainbows and butterflies self.
But for real, that Rose girl is so sick in the head. And those shorts she was wearing in the final scene with her and Joe were tooooshort. Both asscheeks hanging out, just flapping in the wind.
She has some serious self-esteem issues. I understand why, because trying to model with that face can’t be easy, but she really needs therapy.
I felt bad for the Catfish too, because he was dopey as fuck, but he seemed sweet. He didn’t deserve that nonsense.
I love how Max has just blossomed throughout this series. He’s seriously my favorite.
At first, he was going along with Nev’s Friendship Patrol.
Then he started shading people here and there.
In the last episode, we saw him dumbstruck by the fuckery that was unfolding before his eyes, as he contemplated whether this was real life or simply fantasy.
And now, he’s clearly reached the point where he is having none of anyone’s shit. Not Nev’s shit, not the Catfish’s shit. People gon’ learn today.
They need to just fire Nev and make Max the host.
*felt bad for the Catfish’s victim.
Not for the catfish, bitch was cray.
Wish they’d said who the other people were on the phone. And “KariAnn”‘s voice really sounded nothing like Rose, so if that was her, she may have a future in voiceovers. She definitely has a face for radio.
According to TheDirty (VH1 overlap shout out), Rose and Kari Ann know each other in real life and were/are trying to pitch a reality show. It also sounded like the real soul-sucking Kari Ann on the phone so I’m not convinced they didn’t fabricate the whole thing as a ploy to get some publicity. The REAL questions are, how did this kid who I don’t think is playing with a full deck upstairs get involved, and where can I get some of that deluded self-confidence that girls like Rose have?
Judgy – I think you’re right! I feel so used.
I love Max! I think he probably has more harsh words to say about people then we see. But honestly how could they have not realized this was BS? This was a HUGE fail.
I love Max, I think he has more harsh and honest things to say then we see, because he is voice of reason. This episode was a HUGE fail. How could they have not figured out this was not Kari Ann or at least been much much more suspicious
I was just going to say that I thought that was the Kari Ann I was thinking of! So glad it is confirmed. She is an actual celeb of sorts so you would think the girl would have picked someone better to catfish as like some pageant girl that isnt known for being HORRIBLE. Currently she is like in a custody battle with her baby daddy that claims she was doing drugs around the kid (and a whole bunch of other bad details).
Anyway it broke my heart at the end when he wanted to see how fast his quad was… like does he not have any friends to do that with him? So sad if he doesnt! Also I think it is weird how Nev tries to make the guys on this show “cool” right afterwards even though they would be much more comfortable being themselves I think. I dunno if I am right or not on that one but I find it at least a little strange how Nev tries to pass these people off as something that they are not at the very end.
I guess we should be happy none of these have ended in violence, which is very possible.
I yearn for violence. ;__;
This show just gets more and more ridiculous and obviously phony with each episode, although Nev was at his giddy schoolgirl best this week.
@labowner, I was just thinking the other night how this has the potential for some Jenny Jones-level violence after all is said and done with the reveals.
I agree, HG. I am wondering how they knew about it so far in advance, but perhaps when you’re desperately trying to become relevant you know all of the insider marketing goings-on. I am the kind of hypocrite who hates social media until it can be of service to me, so I sought out Sunny from the first episode’s Twitter (ugh, I hated typing that) and she was claiming the show is real. But then I realized there’s probably a little thing called contractual obligation so who knows if that’s true or not.
Please don’t let what was I’m sure an intense heartbreak deter you from being one of my favorite recappers ever.
Just all kinds of wow. I didn’t realize that this girl was a “celebrity”. That makes this story even more ridiculous.
I just saw this episode over the weekend, and I was dying to come back here and see if you knew instantly, as I did, who Kerri Ann was. By the end, even Dr. Drew was like \F this bitch!!\
I think it was the real Kerri Ann on the phone. I don’t know she and Rose are in cahoots exactly (got some clues from Judgy – thanks), but it did sound exactly like Kerri Ann on the phone! That’s when the episode got good for me…at first I thought Rose picked a random D-list celeb, but then I was like ooooooh, there’s a connection. And, shouldn’t Nev and Max Googled Kerri Ann (regular Google, not the infamous Google Image)? That way, they would know she was on Celibrity RehabS? Maybe downloaded an episode or two? Rose is right. Their detective skills weren’t up to par, and that’s why they were mad. Also, does Kerri Ann not have a real page? And didn’t they see that she has multiple FB pages?
How did Rose get other people to collaborate with her on her schemes? Like I understand if she’s an f-ing wack job, but recruiting others into her messed up little facebook engagement life is even more strange.
Hey, real quick, how much of a loser am I if I befriend \Kerri Ann\ on FB just to see what this psycho has to say? I’ll probably delete it after a week or so, but I’m super curious. And bored.
Finally, I hope Joe finds love with a 4-wheel loving, horseback riding upstate NY cutie. He deserves it, and handled himself well. I’m happy they didn’t end up in the friendzone together. No awkward pic of them together, and I’m glad. Kerri Ann nor Rose deserve my boy Joe.
@chaos: Your posts have me cracking up!
Keri-ann brought meth to rehab. Enough said.
I called that it was rose the second that loony tune came on screen. And it would be just a bit too convenient for the first catfish episode for the online beau turn out to be as advertised to be the one with miss teen USA\n
It was also creeping me out when Nev would put miss teen Usa and Playboy in the same sentence. His poor little soul was crushed when the agent wouldn’t call Kari Ann to confirm her online love.
I died when they referred to imdb as a professional website – anyone can pay to be on it…
So much headf*ckery in this episode. It was so lame in that a simple Google search pulls up the Official KAP FB page as the 2nd result…where I discovered this statement:
“Just want to post the schedule of MTV Catfish Episode 7 “Joe & Kari Ann, if anyone has not yet seen this episode in question.
So you may come to your own conclusion watching first hand for yourself. I do hope you at least come to the conclusion, that it is NOT OK to pretend to be someone else at others expenses. Please contact Facebook officials to continue to work on monitoring all social media sites from opening and creating fake sites like the ones depicted in this episode.
I want to thank all my FB Fans for supporting me and my official FB page here !”
am I the only one who thinks rose is sexy. I normally don’t like big titted girls,
but I was attracted to rose more the kari ann.
but I have to see that she did some fucked up shit. she was a catfish in a league of her own.
I’m glad joe refused her.
“Nev analrapizes Rose,”
wait WHAT