Hello beloved readers! I am so excited to discover that I am not the only one glued to this crazy show! LOVED reading all of your opinions on it and catfish stories of your own! We should put Nev out of business and make our own TV show, right? At least we’d have some human reactions.
So tonight we join Nev sifting through his emails deciding who he’s going to help next. He chooses a girl named Shawnise from Maryland. Well, her name is Shawnise but she wants everyone to call her Trina the Natural. She explains that she has a barbie doll body but that it’s all real, so she prefers this three-word title. I’m not sure how I feel about titles including the word “the.” Wait, yes I am. It’s stupid. Henry the 8th, Atilla the Hun, Robert the Bruce, Jabba the Hutt. Trina the Natural? Whatever. Trina the Natural has fallen in love online with a guy named Lee. But most people know him as Scorpio. I’d say that’s sketchy, but she has an alternate name too, so we’ll see. They are both exotic dancers (strippers) so they’ve bonded over that. But Scorpio lives in Atlanta, Georgia and claims to be bad with technology and therefore unable to skype. Ok, NOW I’ll say that’s sketchy.
Nev skypes Shawnise, who right away insists upon being addressed by her complete three-word title.
“If you want me on your show, you’ll use my FULL name.”
Then she explains that as a stripper, she is constantly being judged by men and has not been able to find true love… until meeting Scorpio on MySpace. This IS true love because he understands what it is like to be a stripper and also treats her like a lady. But she’d like to actually meet him now that they’ve been talking for a year. She does find it slightly odd that he won’t skype with her. Nev’s mission is clear. Off to Maryland!
“This is a job for the Friendship Patrol!”
When they arrive at Trina’s apartment, she’s actually super cute, but DOES SHE KNOW IT! Her mom lives there too and she comes out to say that Trina will make someone a really good wife. I’m guessing she’ll want to stop stripping when that happens, but who knows? Trina tearily explains that her dad died when she was only two so she’s been looking for a father figure, but the men she meets at the strip club just don’t don’t view her with any serious potential. I totally can’t figure out why. Enter Scorpio. Respectful, understanding, non-judgmental, technologically challenged Scorpio. He can’t skype, but he can send her exactly three professional modeling photos of himself!
“Two more where this came from, baby.”
Nev asks if Scorpio has ever sent Trina a more casual photo, like with his friends, or you know, wearing clothes. Trina thinks for a second and realizes that no, no he has not. And here she’s sent him dozens of pictures of herself. Max asks if Trina has ever asked Scorpio to take a picture of himself holding up her name. WHAT? Okay, I see what he’s getting at, but what normal human asks that? It’s like a proof of life photo. Is this what we’ve come to? I guess when someone dodges skype for a year, yes.