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Tuesday, May 22, 2012
8:08 am
95 Comments
Tagged: adam carolla, american idol, American Museum of Natural History, arsenio hall, Aurey O'Day, Baron Trump, Cheryl Tiegs, clay aiken, Dayana Mendoza, debbie gibson, dee snider, Donald Trump, drag queen, Eric Trump, finale, funny, George Takei, hilarious, impersonation, Ivanka Trump, Japanese American Museum, lisa lampanelli, Lou Ferrigno, luscious, Magic Johnson, Magic Johnson Foundation, Marco Andretti, Mario Andretti, menopause, Michael Andretti, Muscular Dystrophy Association, National Inclusion Project, nyc, Patricia Velazquez, Paul Teutel Sr., Penn & Teller, Penn Gillet, recap, simon cowell, Star Bellied Sneetches, teresa guidice, Tia Carrere, victoria gotti, Wayutaya Foundation, Whoopi Goldberg, winner
Debbie’s cousin is here and although Aubrey and Debbie are irritated that Clay wants to run the entire show, the cousin seems to understand who is really in charge.
Can you imagine Christmas at Grandma’s when she and Debbie were teens?
At Team Arsenio, they are decorating their space. Arsenio tells us his plan is to keep it simple. Sophisticated decor and lots of booze.
There is no doubt Teresa’s forte is party planning and decoration.
Meanwhile, in Clay’s camp, the mural is taking longer than expected.
Clay is definitely taking a hands on approach to this task.
He dons a giant garbage bag and begins to paint. He also gets Aubrey and Penn in there wielding a paint brush.
He may lose points for pressing volunteers into slavery, though.
And so, with unknown reasons for applause, we cut back to Trump and the live show currently in progress. He introduces the fired contestants and out comes everyone who isn’t currently serving Clay or Arsenio. Except we are missing Michael Andretti and Cheryl Tiegs. Can’t say that I blame them.
I would be too pissed to participate in this sham if I was them!
Oh my f*ing God! After the commercial we cut to Lou saying he gave 110% twelve times. I thought we were done with that. Ugh! But Lou is laughing as Dorkus Amongus is shown discussing how 110% is a mathematical impossibility.
Turns out, Lou is a shape shifter, so maybe he really can do the impossible.
Lou tells us that he just had surgery six weeks ago and now, for the first time in his life, he can hear without the help of a hearing aid. The crowd rightfully cheers, but Lou holds up a finger to silence them. Then he rises to his feet and starts heading to Donald Trump. What’s he up to? As he walks towards Sparky, he says, everyone makes fun of him for saying 110%, but he raised $41,000 for his charity, the Muscular Dystrophy Association. With that, he tosses an envelope on the desk in front of Sparky.
Awkward Moment #1: Lou thinks Donald Trump is his secretary.
“File this for me, bitch!”
Sparky asks Dayana what she thought of Lisa.
She’s as much of a cerdo as you are, sir.
Awkward Moment #2: Sparky asks Dayana if she had a good time on the show and she pauses before saying, “Thank you for the opportunity.”
“Victoria, you come from a smart, tough family.”
But now you look like a Kristen Wiig impersonation of yourself.
“Did that help in terms of doing so well with Celebrity Apprentice.”
Doing so well? I was the second one fired. Do you even know
what the hell you are reading off those cue cards?
Trump then turns to Patricia and says her heart was broken when she lost money she raised for the Wayutaya Foundation. He wants to know how she’s doing now.
“Mr. Trump, I am having a really, really hard time, because the Wayutaya Foundation
I started to save the lives in an area where one kid was dying a day; I’ve saved hundreds of
lives, and, ah, because of the money going to the other team, this is money that I personally
raised myself. 90% of the money went to the other team. I was going to finish a school
where the kids would have two meals a day. Not only have I not been able to finish
the school, but at the same time, I have not been able to raise the money that
I lost, so it’s been a challenge.”
Good for you for doing so well.
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95 Comments
Awesome, awesome recap!! I only watched one episode this season, but I totally agree with you and LOVE everything you had to say. I’m glad I read your recap instead of watching the finale.
And, yes, Clay was robbed!
For those who missed my post on the previous episode’s recap, NBC Universal and NBC’s parent company Comcast have sunk 14 billion dollars into Magic Johnson’s new cable channel, set to debut next month. You read that right: they have 14 BILLION dollars invested in it. It wasn’t announced until February, but it was already a done deal way back last October when this season of Celebrity Apprentice was cast and recorded. So the entire season of CA was a nearly endless series of layered product placement ads, with the topmost and heaviest layer being that for Magic Johnson’s new cable channel, which will almost certainly air a late night talk show starring Magic’s good friend, Arsenio Hall. Clay was given the #2 spot on the show so people would get riled up that he was cheated out of a victory yet again, and talk about what I’m right now talking about, giving the network even more publicity.
I’m sure Clay never knew any of this was going on when the season was filmed, and it’s at least (remotely) possible that Arsenio didn’t know then, either. (But I wouldn’t put money on it.)
Ah, well. As crankyguy pointed out, “we already knew that this show is as fake as Aubrey’s red hair, didn’t we?”
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/entertainmentnewsbuzz/2012/02/comcast-to-launch-magic-johnson-cable-channel-aspire.html
I’ve enjoyed your recaps each week. This finale was a shocker to me — how could Arsenio win? Although he did “coast” thru the tasks and won due to the cleverness of Aubrey (I’ll give her that). Clay also won 2 tasks if you count the last one. No way do I believe Arsenio won that one. Lisa won 2 tasks and it didn’t keep her from being fired. Arsenio singing –just no! Clay’s performance on Lean on Me, IMO, was very very good. This man can sing! Clay played the game well and with class and was due the win — Trump and Company failed to pick the true winner. Something was going on behind the scenes and I think most people know it.
I understand that in the first draft of the finale script, Sparky was supposed to take a call from Santa Claus, who was on vacation in the Caribbean, who wanted sun block advice “from a fellow ginger”, but the producers decided they wanted to go “gritty”, so they went with the mayor instead.
Great recap Luscious! Verrry interesting info, DH! Thanks for taking the bullet for us!
Luscious, why don’t you and Vallegirl join me and other Gasmii who were, shall we say, disappointed in a few shows this season for a few snorts to cheer us up. I’m so glad for your sake that this season of CA is over. Never once hung around for the dog-and-pony show that is the boardroom. Thank you so very much for falling on your sword on our behalf.
I, for one, salute you.
If you believe that Clay should have won, and would like to help the National Inclusion Project raise the $250,000 they should have gotten, you can go here and make a donation:
https://store.inclusionproject.org/apps/Donate.aspx
I don’t watch any of the Apprentice shows, because Trump gives me instant explosive diarrhea. But you’re recap was very good. And I was happy to see that Chris March and his own apprentice apparently had a cameo as well.
At least you got some chores done while suffering through this. Get some rest and bleach your brain a few times. You’ll be fine.
14 BILLION DOLLARS!!!!
That amount is ridiculous to even say. Clay worked his butt off to win an extra $250,000 for his charity The National Inclusion Project. All the money he raised came from Crystal Light & his own generous donors. Not one penny came from NBC, Celebrity Apprentice, Trump, Mark Burnett or whereever the prize money is expensed.
Disabled innocent children were robbed!
I guess NBC deals explain why the New Jersey Housewife stayed so long too, since NBC owns Bravo. Penn and Adam were discussing on one of Adam’s podcasts why Dayana stayed so long, which had to be Trump’s ownership of Miss Universe since one of them overheard Trump talking off to the side about how he had to fight with NBC to get Dayana on the show, and how he was right since she is doing “just great.”
I haven’t read any of the comments. I just , just- screwed up my courage to be able to read the recap. My name on Ebay and almost everywhere else on the net is Cladylady. Can you guess why? I’m not a Claymate. I’m a Clayfan. This is the first and the last time I will ever watch the Trump Trash. May 21st,when Clay was robbed,all those years ago because they didn’t have enough phone lines installed,was our anniversary. We had a big family dinner,one of our very last,and so I taped the episode. It took me 6 months to be able to watch it. I swore I would never vote for anyone on Idol again and I haven’t. I have never bought a CD by any of the other artists,although I donate regularly to the Inclusion Project. I found a best friend on a Clay board. She sent me a birthday card this AM and writes me about 5 times a week. Yes-we adore him. He’s just plain good. And now I dislike Trump even more. I don’t hate Arsenio. But certainly,I don’t think he deserved to win over Clay.He bungled the video. He knuckled under to Adam. That’s not a leader. Clay started his own charity as a 14 year old and has run it ever since. That’s a leader. But ok. I have to go now and make a donation to The Inclusion Project to all those children who,without it,will be left out and forgotten on the sidelines and ,worse yet,in the dark,stifling corners of some house ,babysat by a TV for the summer,because the truth is,in the real world, everybody doesn’t play.
I thought the person who raised the most money won, wasn’t that the point?
I’ll donate to the cause of getting Clay off the guyliner. (He’s no Jack Sparrow, ya know?)
Yes, Clay was scarewwwed, but I think it’s best. I don’t want him connected to the orange, homophobic, racist, birther, wannabe politician. Clay is talented, intelligent, hard worker & well liked. Think we’ll be hearing more from him.
Loved your blog all season long.
AS for Clay being robbed – of course he was!
Listen to Adam’s podcast today. he said in the boardroom EVERYONE VOTED FOR C LAY TO WIN.
Did anyone else see Rami from Project Runway in the audience? I’m not 110% sure that was him, but it looked like him standing near the stage during the performances.
I thought Clay would win from Day 1, so I was surprised when Arsenio won… but I don’t have as strong of feeling about it as some do. I do think Arsenio has room to improve his communication skills; though that could be due to the editing. When Adam was spitting out ideas and Arsenio talked about can he execute his own ideas (or something like that), I didn’t see why he said it in a tone of irritation…. unless there was stuff we didn’t see.
I was happy Arsenio won. I would’ve been happy with a Clay win, too. I don’t think any of the finalists were head and shoulders above the other…they were pretty even matched. Clay fundraised more money in the last challenge, while Arsenio went as undefeated as PM (and perhaps brought in more funds during the season?).
Plus, I think in the final task, money aside, Arsenio’s show was better. His commercial went over better with the party crowd, fun and lighthearted, then getting serious for the message. Clay’s commercial was meant to tug at heartstrings and it was sweet but didn’t leave a lasting impression. (Plus, children ARE aware of other children’s “limitations”, so unless he only ‘includes’ kids with invisible disabilities, his tagline was misleading.)
Thinking on what star Trump wants to hitch himself to, or what he wants to be associated with, I think he felt more comfortable at Arsenio’s party. I think the carnival theme was too tacky and lowbrow for Trump to take seriously as a fundraiser, even for a children’s charity. In NYC, a children’s fundraiser with celebrity guests will have a more sophisticated cocktail party/banquet feel. The hula hoops and spinning plates were fun for the great unwashed, but Trump prefers billowy gauze curtains and lucite chairs.
As for the show, singing vs comedy is subjective. Not everyone likes bawdy humor (Lisa) or bad singing (Debbie) so it’s a draw on this one. I preferred the comedy myself, but only because Clay was the only one who was good.
All in all, Clay wasn’t robbed, imo. He lost, but not by a wide margin and has also managed to distinguish himself as more than just an Idol runner up, which may be his biggest victory yet.
I have to say I rooted for Arsenio only because I knew who he was. I mean I know the Clay Aiken name and I know he lost AI(don’t watch) to a big guy named Ruben. I have not heard any of their songs. I’m saying this because I don’t know if Clay was robbed or not when he appear on television previously. What I can say as an old time sneaker of staying up late to watch the Arsenio Hall show, Clay was robbed. I thought Clay did a better job on their final task. He raised almost twice as much money as Arsenio and I could have sworn this show was based on money raised.
This finale was different from other finales because they didn’t have a corporate sponsor. In past seasons, the win didn’t just go to who fundraised the most money because then anyone can just call in bucks and not care about the finale task. There was usually a corporate sponsor (Snapple, 7UP) and the finalist had to market or promote a new product. Like on past episodes, the sponsors would have a say in which ad was more effective for launching the new product. This was factored into the win.
Since Trump had no sponsor on board, I guess he had to use other factors, like look at the season as a whole. Or at Clay and Arsenio’s past wins/defeats as PM.
Personally, I never liked ‘the highest fundraiser means the winner’ crap. Because some people donate their own money or just call in rich friends but that doesn’t make them better at business and managing others. I’m sure Paris Hilton would win Celebrity Apprentice if that was all Trump focused on..whose rich friends donated more.
Listen to Adam’s podcast today. he said in the boardroom EVERYONE VOTED FOR C LAY TO WIN.
It’s the 5/21 podcast with Taylor Hicks as the guest. CA talk starts about 23 minutes in, and Adam even mentions Arsenio’s NBC deal as being a factor in his winning. Adam said he was SHOCKED that Clay lost.
.I loved your article it was so funny.I only watched Celebrity Apprentice because Clay was on it. In my eyes Clay is the real winner. I love that you call Donald Trump Sparky. Believe I can think of a few other names for him. Hope Clay,s charity raises loads of money.People really like and care about Clay Aiken.
I hated to watch a grown black man grovel at the feet of a pissy, pmpous white man with bad hair. I am embarrassed that Arsenio was so desperate that he acted that way
Trump holds all the cards, and can decide anything he wants. If Arsenio “won more tasks” it was because Trump wanted him to win more tasks, not because he was actually a better manager.
Great recap – I do think 2 hours/show is just too much, esp. since most of it is Trump not shutting up. It is a much different show now than it was during the first season of regular Apprentice.
I would love to see this show with the viewing audience voting, like on AI – things would definitely turn out differently!
@crankyguy: So did Lisa change her mind at the finale? Because I’m pretty sure she voted for Arsenio. I do agree that Arsenio was a little too fawning, but I also think Clay was a bit too sure of himself.
On the last recap, I said that Trump takes the popularity of the charities into consideration. I, wrongly, thought Clay’s would be brought to the forefront because Trump had three separate AIDS charities on this season and spread the wealth. But maybe it’s Magic Johnson’s celebrity, his power status as a businessman, or prioritizing the fight against AIDS over sending kids to camp, but I think the charity they played for had a huge impact on their winning.
@ 2 Yep. It is the same with Dayana. Miss World Universe winner or contestant. Whose company owns the Miss World pageant? None other than Donald himself. NBC said no to Dayana. Trump said yes, thus why she was on so long. The whole show is a scam.
Thank you so much for bringing out the truth. Clay or any contestant who made it to the final with Arsenio was screwed. This was a fix from day 1 and now some of the contestants like Dee, Adam, Penn, Aubrey and even Lisa are telling us the same thing. What snakes Trump and Mark Burnett are. There was no way Arsenio was a better and stronger player than Clay. Clay was used and even humiliated by Lisa during the talent show. Arsenio allowed that to happen. Not something you would do to a friend. Very proud of Clay and hope The National Inclusion Project continues to make money.
SEXUAL CHOCOLATE!!! *drops the mic*
@ sarcasatire, I don’t remember the specifics about Lisa, but he definitely said that, in a boardroom poll, the votes for Clay winning were overwhelming. Adam even said that in spite of his being an integral part of Arsenio’s show, Clay’s show was plainly better.
Is there any such thing as an honest competition reality show? With this “decision”, Donald Trump lost what little credibility he ever had. Arsenio won because he never lost a challenge? Yeah, right. The man isn’t even a good liar.
Isn’t it strange how the final competition was basically ignored?
Oh right…that didn’t fit in with the plan, did it? Clay was supposed to be good but not quite that good. He made the ‘honest competition’ lie too obvious. I think he was a little smarter than they expected and Arsenio’s coast to #1 came across looking exactly like the setup it actually was.
@Classy…AWESOME!!!!!!
When Arsenio announced more than a week ago that he would be a judge on the Miss Universe pageant, the Trumpiest of events that ever Trumped, the handwriting was indelibly on the wall. No question that Arsenio knew of his forthcoming victory lap and was riding the wave.
I don’t get the indignation at Trump from people who watch the show. The point of the show is to entertain and to raise money for multiple charities. Yes, Arsenio gets the title of Celebrity Appentice and the Magic Johnson foundation gets the $250k donation from Trump. But Clay raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for this charity as well as also raising incredible awareness. All told the show raised probably close to $2.5-3 million for charity. The Trump donated the show’s money where he wanted. It’s not like John Rich, Brett Michaels, Joan Rivers or Piers Morgan are big stars now. Clay will be fine. The show has always been the same. At least this time the winner was very likeable in Arsenio.
Likable? Like when he cursed Aubrey out & demeaned all women. Like when he stole Clay’s “second place” argumemt. Like his unnecessary subject matter on The View. Like when he allowed an unnecessary off-off-off color gay slur to be included in a family friendly show. Like his disturbing “rage” which he was not able to control.
and yeah, I spelt “likeable” incorrectly
Thanks for the laughs each week!
The whole point of the show, mjhhawk, for some of the first-time viewers here is that Clay is on the show. If not for that, they would not have been watching. They would probably be upset even if Clay were to lose because he truly deserved it, so when it looked like he had it in the bag and loses only because of a unilateral Trump declaration based on side deals, they are gonna be pissed that much more. I wanted Arsenio to win, and even I could not believe that he did.
I’m not sure I believe the fix was in from the beginning. Because if it was, why didn’t Arsenio get a more flattering edit. They could’ve edited out his tirade in the war room because it wasn’t pertinent to the task and it alienated some viewers. Plus, Trump could’ve kept Clay and Arsenio on the same team so only one could advance to the finals, and put Arsenio against Lisa. No one would complain if Arsenio beat Lisa. That’s why I think if it was fixed from the jump they would’ve been more clever about Arsenio’s editing and who he went against in the finals.
My guess is that Trump was very impressed by Arsenio’s charisma and stage presence and wanted to use him in some capacity to push the Trump brand. So, he had to give him the win, because Temp doesn’t associate with second-best. So he hired Arsenio as his pageant host, and gave him the Apprentice title. I read on TMZ that three(!) networks are bidding for Arsenio’s new show. Trumps no dummy. He hitched his wagon to the right star..
I can only go by what I & my family saw, by what those who attended the final party observed & by what the other contestants who have the balls to tell the truth are saying. Arsenio skated thru, letting others do the heavy lifting, because he knew he most likely had it in the bag. Clay truly believed the best man would win, so worked his butt off & earned the respect & final votes of his coworkers. Even John Rich & Marlee Matlin tweeted that Clay should win. Penn, Debbie, Paul, Lisa, Adam, Teresa, Aubrey & Dee all told Trump to choose Clay in the final boardroom. Guests from Arsenio’s party were crashing Clay’s because in their words “Arsenio’s is boring.” Clay’s was set up to be a fun time with much to do. Arsenio’s was stand around with drinks. When the comedians saw the polish & production of Clay’s show & how much everyone was enjoying his party, they said, “Clay just won.” This is fact. All you have to do is watch both promo ads on Hulu or the Apprentice site to see how much better Clay’s was. Arsenio’s is cheesy, poorly shot & edited & doesn’t even make any sense. Clay’s is so professional-looking it could go on TV tonight. Now think about Arsenio’s 2 PM wins? Who did the real work? Aubrey in both, Clay in one. And the Good Sam win was specious. Who won the final challenge? Trump didn’t even discuss it as he usually does because he knew Clay took it running away. And then Clay brings in twice the donations!! So, yeah, the fix was even more obviously in than when Joan Rivers beat the much more deserving Annie Duke.
Clay isn’t “second-best.” If he was, the overwhelming majority of his competitors wouldn’t have said he should win. And the Powers That Be WERE clever about who advanced to the finals with him. If Arsenio beat Lisa, it’s true that nobody would complain… which would mean that the results would be discussed much less than they are being, generating less publicity, and curiosity about, and interest in, Magic’s new cable channel.
I’m not sure Arsenio got that unflattering an edit. Most people who heard him call Aubrey a bitch and whore applauded, because they’d been yelling the same thing at their TV sets for weeks.
I loved your recaps every week. Next year I plan on not watching Celebrity apprentice, but I plan on reading your recaps.
If Arsenio was such a nice guy, he should have said I don’t deserve to win. The whole show is a sham. The celebrities are paid less than the Survivor guys. I hope they have a real hard time lining up celebrities for next years show because of the Trump/Burnett shenanigans.
@Daisy, I didn’t say that Clay was second-best. I said that Trump clearly wanted to work with Arsenio outside of the competition so he didn’t want Arsenio to be perceived as second best by only getting runner-up. That’s why he gave the win to Arsenio, so he can use him to host/judge the Miss Universe pageant, and promote CA at the same time. “Our next judge is Celebrity Apprentice Arsenio Hall!”
Sarcasatire, they were supposed to throw a party that included charity integration in it. That’s why there were games at Clay’s because that is how their camps are set up for the kids that attend. They never really explained that on the show but each one of those games is for a specific purpose to help the kids playing them learn certain skills. So Clay did exactly what the challenge was and integrated his charity into it. Where was Arsenio’s integration, drapy curtains and a bar? How does that translate into what his charity is? How does dressing up in 80s gear translate into what his charity does? How does raising 1/2 of what the other guy did when you have a rolodex of big stars translate into beating the other guy? It was fixed from the beginning and the fact that the last challenge was never discussed nor told who won what proved it. Disgraceful, I won’t ever watch this sideshow again. Stupid.
Lisa did not vote for Arsenio, she said Clay should win and Arsenio should get a talk show.
JJ, I don’t blame Arsenio for not doing that. He desperately needs something and he was practical;y groveling on this show. It was embarassing to watch. I heard he filed bankruptcy a couple of years ago, so it does appear he really really needed to win this. Clay will be fine. He didn’t beg and now he’s not beholden to the creepy Trumpster, Arsenio is. Hope it works out for him because he doesn’t seem to be a very strong person emotionally.
Hadn’t heard about the bankruptcy filing. That explains a lot. No wonder he agreed to be part of this farce.
Sorry about misunderstanding you @sarcasatire.
Does anyone know if Adam brought up the producers again? He claimed he was going to say what was edited out of his boardroom firing.
@ labowner, do you mean other than the producers telling him that he had to do his presentation “Steve Jobs style” and then having Trump scold him for being alone on stage?
Cranky yes. Funny the boardroom scenes take 2.5 hours to film and we get to see about 5-10 minutes of edited material.
“My guess is that Trump was very impressed by Arsenio’s charisma and stage presence and wanted to use him in some capacity to push the Trump brand.”
What charisma? LOL!
Sami, I would like to WORD your post.
There were 8 of us watching all season, and not one of us had Arsenio down in our top 5 after the first couple of shows. No one wished they had either. He just seemed to skate through in the background. The only time he got some notice, was his unreal rant at Aubrey, who DID think of the slogan first, before Arsenio discovered it on the computer.
Actually Aubrey was everyone’s second choice, despite her crude, rude remarks, as she was a hard worker, very creative, as she says, and certainly did the job for Arsenio. Clay led him along too.
The final night was a huge victory for Clay. Arsenio’s comedy roast of Clay was just awful, and most of the show had to be bleeped. Clay’s was so entertaining, and showed what he does with the National Inclusion Project. His voice was wonderful too, but Trump never mentioned it. He had to be absolutely scraping the barrel for a reason for an Arsenio win, as he wanted a bigger name for the title, and already had things in the works for Arsenio. The fix was on big time, and he couldn’t even justify it at all, as they both had 2 wins after the final night, and Clay collected more money.
Bless Clay for smiling through it all and making jokes about his runner up status continuing. It’s so unfair, but he seems to be a very nice guy in real life, and surely realizes the viewers KNOW who really won.
Arsenio DESPERATELY needed to win the show with the hope he can get a job afterwards (a talk show). I had no idea about his filing for bankruptcy until this travesty happened. No wonder all the ass kissing to Trump from the beginning. I’m glad Clay did not have to step that low, he worked as hard as he could for his charity,but thank God his financial situation is seemingly very good. He has the luxury of taking time off, sometimes very long periods off between tours, etc. I’m also happy he didn’t sell himself to Trump and the people behind him. He went into the show in good faith and he is the real winner. Many of the other contestants were way better than Arsenio and I’m including Aubray among Dee, Penn, Lisa, Adam. Not Dayana, he was useless and the reason of her in the show is pretty obvious.
It should have been Clay and Penn in the final. I didn’t like Penn as a person (the man strikes me as a colossal ass) but he was good at the tasks, much better than either Lisa or Aubrey and (despite being a colossal ass) not as toxic as either.
Is there another show Luscious is going to start recapping soon? Because I’ve come to enjoy these recaps and the conversations afterward.
The $14 billion wasn’t for Magic Johnson, that was the merger between NBC-Universal and Comcast. Yes, Comcast is still supporting Magic’s network, but it’s not that much money
Ahh… That did sound like an insane amount of money for one channel. That it was the total of the whole merger makes more sense.
I wonder how much they do have riding on the success of Magic Johnson’s channel? Not that any amount of money is low enough to make me believe the fix wasn’t in and that wasn’t the reason. I’m pretty sure Donald Trump would have sold what passes for his soul for the price of a ham sandwich.
Magic Johnson is such an astute business man, I’m sure Trump wants to get in good with him. Magic is worth of $500 million and he’s self made, unlike Trump who took his dad’s business through a succession of bankruptcies and now just leases his name to overseas developers for a cut of the profits. From paying $10 mil for a percentage of the Lakers then selling it for $50-$60 million, to selling his chains of Starbucks for $75 million, Magic sees the potential in every niche market and pounces. His theaters do really well, also. I hope his channel succeeds..he seems like a good man with great intentions.
I liked both finalists so I wasn’t really upset with the outcome, although I thought it would be Clay. But given their friendship, I’m sure there isn’t anyone that Clay would’ve prefer losing to than his friend. I read an interview with Arsenio and he said he and Clay made a pact early on to get each other to the finals. They supported each other on opposing teams and always praised each other’s successes. If Arsenio gets his talk show, I hope he makes Clay a regular.
Oh, I forgot to add the link to Arsenio’s interview: http://insidetv.ew.com/2012/05/21/celebrity-apprentice-arsenio-hall-winner/
After reading it, I wanna know more about Aubrey’s “black penis collection” and how she used it to torment Arsenio!
UPDATE: I couldn’t find the uncut video, but I found his quote:
“Aubrey O’Day one day was sitting in the van with Teresa from ‘Housewives’ and Clay [Aiken]. She shows Teresa a Blackberry with a black penis on it,” explained Hall. “She had a collection of different men she had been with… If I was in the van showing women’s parts on my Blackberry, my lawyer would get a call immediately, but there are double standards about how we behave.”
Okay..this video has commentary, but Arsenio goes into a little more depth: http://on.aol.com/video/arsenio-hall-talks-possible-tv-return–rips-aubrey-oday-again-517368166
Well, at least we now know where the ‘slut’ and ‘whore’ comments came from.
Luscious, thank you for the everything!!! Your recaps were awesome!
It is Annie Duke and Joan Rivers all over again. Annie raised more money in the final task. Clay raised more money. Clay’s event was better. Joan lost her cool and got way too insulting on someone during the show. Annie did not. Clay did not. Arsenio did. Pisses me off. Clay should have won.
I thought Arsenio was very funny and on his game personality wise last night and that is why Donald probably picked him, but this is not personality Apprentice or Rupaul’s Best Friend Race. This is Celebrity Apprentice and Clay was better at that, not Arsenio.
I thought Lisa looked like she might have lost a little weight. You could see it in her face. Does anyone else see that?
Dayana was gorgeous as ever. One of the prettiest women that has ever lived that one. Aubrey had on a rocking dress. I still like Teresa.
You are the funniest recapper on this site. I almost died reading the recap. You are a gem! You nailed everything about it!
I was glad to see Dayana’s impression of Lisa again because as I said about it originally, it was SPOT ON!
Clay managed Aubrey better than Arsenio and that right there means he should have won. When she tried to take over, he corrected her gently and continued. He did not lose his shit like Arsenio did. She actually let him manage her which shows how strong Clay is. Clay’s commercial was better. Penn’s idea was good and worked well. I wanted Clay’s charity to win. This show just thinks we are all stupid.
I am going to donate to Clay’s charity. This show has given me a huge respect for him. I might even be a Claymate now. Also just more proof that Comcast is the devil.
It looked to me that Clay had won, but I don’t think he should be given credit for his ability to manage Aubrey better than Arsenio did. When Arsenio had Aubrey on his team, she was trying to undermine him and make him fail in any way she could. When Clay got her, she was out of the game, and was motivated to help rather than hinder Clay in order to get back at Arsenio for dissing her and for taking what she thought was her entitled place in the final two. They were managing two entirely different Aubreys.
@ sarcasatire, thanks for the link. Aubrey is a bitch, which 99% of us agree with, AND a whore. I saw an interview with Lisa where she said she blew up at Arsenio because he also called Aubrey a cunt, which NBC did not show. Okay, but I bet Lisa has called many more people cunts in a year than Arsenio has in his lifetime.
I believe she thinks it’s okay for her to do that, the way some black people think it’s okay for them to use the ‘n’ word.
See, she is a dainty lady, and thus has one… somewhere. Perhaps tucked under her penis or hidden ‘neath her hairy scrotal sac.
I’m happy for Arsenio, but I still think that Clay was totally robbed.
Aside from all the usual rigging of the show which has gotten so transparent that there is no real reason to watch this anymore, I have two major things that annoyed me:
1. I’m sick and tired of awful people like Aubrey and Lisa being given an opportunity to retract/spin their actions after the fact, and not only on this show. What ever happened to being called out on your crap? At least in Lisa’s case she tried extra hard to say that she can take it as much as she can dish it out. Aubrey’s I have a young spirit thing was just the biggest piece of cynical fakey crap I’ve ever heard.
2. What was up with the DT Show during the finale? It seemed like he was angling towards his own late night talk show which is totally delusional. Ugh!
Thanks for a great ride, Luscious!
Firstly, Luscious, thank you for this absolutely hilarious recap. All of your recaps have been amazing, but this one was extra hilarious. The picture of Adam Corolla with the muppet face brought tears to my eyes. And thank you for pointing out how Trump told Patricia that she was doing well, even though she quite explicitly stated that she was not doing well and that those poor kids were still without a school or food.
Everything there is to say about the result has already been said, so I have nothing to add.
But I am curious about Lisa, because when they were showing her string of shitty behavior and she was laughing at it, it sounded so forced to me. I wonder if she cries when she goes home at night. Nobody can be that amused at the sight of themselves being such a terrible person on national and international television.
Also, why the fuck was Tia Carrere so damn happy about Arsenio’s win? She was jumping up and down, screaming his name, tripping over herself to hug him….just beside herself with joy for no reason. As the camera was pulling away, all you could hear over the screams of everyone else was Tia going, ARSENIOOOOOOOOO. Do they have some kind of history?
Speaking of Tia, she’s a baby. Everyone else up there named who they felt were causing the issues on the women’s team (Aubrey and Lisa), so why didn’t she just say that she agreed? All of that…let’s ask the crowd who they thought it was…bullshit was unnecessary and dragged the whole thing out.
I often wondered during the season why Aubrey and Lisa hit it off so well. Before I watched sarcasatire’s link, all I could come up with is that they have the common bond of both being outlandish, loudmouthed bitches. But, if you know anything about Lisa’s self-described sexual history, it’s more than that: It’s their shared love of BIG, BLACK COCK!
@crankyguy, lol! Yes, they definitely have that in common.
A fetish that is often born of racism, and both of them seem more than a little bigoted to me. Given all that, it would have been odd if they hadn’t hit it off.
Crankyguy: Aubrey still did her same tricks on the final task. She tried to take over from Clay twice and Clay did not freak out, he just very quietly took control back over calmly. So no, I will argue that he did manager Aubrey better than Arsenio who blew up and had rage inside over it. I don’t think Clay let it get to him.
Arsineo was just pissed off because Aubrey snatched the dicks he has been after.
Makes sense to me now.
ETA- His blow-up makes sense to me now.
April, you can’t see the difference in the two situations? Helping as opposed to sabotaging? In both case, though, there was one common denominator, and that was Aubrey’s desire to destroy Arsenio. Arsenio’s final straw was when Aubrey was throwing him under the bus in the boardroom; she didn’t do that to Clay.
April, the difference was that Arsenio didn’t blow up at Aubrey when she tried to take over during the task, it was when she tried to take credit in the boardroom trying to make him look bad in front of Trump. Had Aubrey come between Clay and a win, he would’ve gone for the jugular.
Either way, Clay has made many a snide comment about Aubrey in jest, imagine what he would say if he were angry. I’m just surprised he kissed that whore in the mouth, lol. Clay is very brave.. We’ve all seen where that mouth has been.
Crankyguy we were posting similar thoughts at the same time.. Great minds…
@sarcasatire， No. 73 comments. That is some rude and sexist comments against Aubrey… but whatever makes you happy…
Hmmm… Is it sexist to point out that a woman appears topless often and licks dirty stripper poles for a photo-op? Or only that I wouldn’t kiss her in the mouth?
Or . . . that she brags about all the BIG BLACK COCK she has had and keeps the electronic equivalent of notches on her bedpost in the form of photos on her PDA of all that long cock which she freely interjects into business meetings? If I had a daughter who did that, I would pull her aside and say, “Honey, you probably should tone that down a notch, or people just might get the impression that you are a
whoreslut. Take your cock pictures off your Blackberry and keep them on a flashdrive instead, at home.”I wonder what Aubrey will do with her new-found notoriety? If Omarosa could parlay her stint as the Queen Bitch of Apprentice into a career lasting several years, we probably haven’t seen the last of the stripper-pole licking horror show that is Aubrey, either.
I can see her sliding down the skank ladder from Playboy to Hustler before finally fading into pop culture history.
Daisy: I think the slide has already begun. Aubrey was the “celebrity host” at the opening of a random tanning salon in my city last month…
Hahahaha!
LMAO, Luscious. That was the best she could do while she was still on the air every week in prime time?? If she were any less horrid, I’d feel sorry for her.
I don’t know if I am typical, but I had at least a passing familiarity with every celebrity or at least the existence of the title in the case of Miss Universe, but I knew absolutely nothing before the show started about Aubrey or that girl group she was in. Even in the case of Omarosa, by the time she was invited on Celebrity Apprentice, most people knew who she was beforehand.
I watched Making the Band and Aubrey was the breakout star. Talented, fresh faced, and really wanting to make it in music. Even when she started to realize MTB was mostly about reality TV, she refused to play along. “I’m here for music, I don’t want to be some fluff character”, she said, crying. Fast forward a few years, Aubrey stopped pursuing music, got a boob job, posed nude in Playboy(and everywhere else), and starred in her own reality show about nothing. Fluff character, indeed.
Get ready for a sex tape leak in 5, 4, 3,…
I also knew not a damn thing about Aubrey when the CA started. I don’t watch MTV.
Typical? Cranky, you are unique, mmmmwwwwaaaa. But I’m with you and April. Never heard of her before CA, and if she sticks to salon openings instead of poles in pictures, fine with me.
Sarcasatire is right. She’ll still be licking poles… in her eventual, inevitable, sex tape.
I only watched a few episodes, but I did know who Aubrey was. I have both of the albums from Danity Kane (her girl group) and love them! Aubrey was an attention whore from the beginning. I believe she was banging Diddy also. Something about their dynamic just didn’t sit right with me. She could perform well but she definitely wasn’t the best singer in the group. She did a few Broadway shows and she had a reality show on oxygen.
Her behavior on the show doesn’t surprise me b/c that’s how she was on Making the Band. Had a break down saying she didn’t want to be just a pretty face, she wanted to sing in the group. Well she really wasn’t that pretty b/c it seemed she had done something to her face at that point and she wasn’t a great singer so that’s why they didn’t put her on the tracks as much as the other girls.
To me, Aubrey is a better singer than Debbie Gibson, but there are a lot of singers that I would rather hear than either of them, so neither Aubrey or Debbie will be getting any money from my iTunes downloading. I was really surprised that Arsenio did such a passable job in his duet with Clay, but still, there probably won’t be any forthcoming Arsenio Hall music albums. However smart and talented Aubrey may be, her extreme narcissism is so off-putting that it overshadows those good qualities.
@classy, now I’m wondering if Diddy’s wasn’t one of the cocks featured in her slideshow in the CA van.
I thought Arsenio sang so off-key in that duet that he dragged Clay off too, which is nearly impossible.
DAMN – how did I miss this recap – or maybe I already read it but I was in a FUNK???
Clay was “jobbed” (per Adam Carolla) – what a shame.
He will move on to bigger and better things than to be linked to the conservative, homophobic Trumpster for life, especially during this upcoming election season.
You were terrific Clay! Will be seeing you soon!
PS – Not that I don’t like Arsenio, I do… but OMG – that ugly rant of his! Hearing more about what he threatened to do to AODay was very upsetting.
Ditto for me, Musicleader #90, all the way! I too was in a funk and just now got here. This article is awesome — thank you for the nonstop belly laughs, Luscious!! — and reader comments are full of information about what went on.
Finding out why Arsenio suddenly took such a hate for Aubrey made me relax some about his rant, tho yes, his violence was scary (even considering grief for his cousin). Also, we’d heard about the Comcast-Magic-Trump connection but not about his bankruptcy. In light of that, and because I liked his TV show (he was funnier than other grossness, tho aren’t whitey “massa” jokes passe?), I’m glad for him. And you’re totally right, musicleader, Clay’s much better off not being beholden to anyone.
Clay was terrific, indeed. Peach Party, gotta be one of the most fun CA challenges ever. And I was so impressed with his charity ad, loved it. I’m proud of him for being stubborn about shooting it on grass, that was perfect (looks like a camp, more comfortable for kids than a floor), it clearly portrays what NIP is about to anyone who has or knows a child with a disability. And the carnival was just –Yowza! Even so, I wasn’t fully aware of how excellent it was until I saw this comment by “cuddles” (#42). This makes me realize how much thought and care he put into every possible detail, and why Debbie tried to make a point of that when Trump asked her who should win:
“…there were games at Clay’s because that is how their camps are set up for the kids that attend. They never really explained that on the show but each one of those games is for a specific purpose to help the kids playing them learn certain skills. So Clay did exactly what the challenge was and integrated his charity into it.”
Luscious, excellent recap, love the pix you choose, and your captions are priceless. I’d like to add one thing re the fund-raising, tho. Below the pic of Andretti giving big bucks to Arsenio (tho I preferred Orel giving big bucks to Clay, LOL) you say something about the big name celebs showing up and bringing $20,000 and $10,000 checks — so I think it worth mentioning, for those that didn’t see it:
The very first $20,000 ticket was bought by a Clay fan with an accumulation of fan donations. Way to go, Claymates!
Well, being as that it’s over, now the best of both worlds would be for Arsenio to get a show and then have Clay on… a lot!!
Thanks for the great funny recap! I believe that Arsenio is a good guy and that his friendship with Clay is genuine but he’s so desperate to get the talk-show hosting job that he stooped down to the low level of this dirty business politics with DT/NBC/MJ. It embarrassed me to see Arsenio’s ass-kissing, groveling and begging with Donald Trump. And may I remind you that DT is a Republican endorsing Romney who Clay called half-assed and insincere at “Face the Nation” panel and he has said he’s voting for Obama which is total opposition to DT’s political views. This NBC/MJ/DT deal and the rigging of the CAppr show could have not happened without Arsenio’s knowledge and cooperation because he needed to do his part of the unfair game they’re playing. The problem was they all underestimated Clay Aiken that’s why they were all surprised to see and watch him to be a strong player. They didn’t realize that he’s smart, intelligent, funny, witty, savvy, cunning, creative, hardworking and well-liked by most of his competitors as shown by their support of Clay–Lisa donating to his charity despite being on the opposition team, all his teammates really went all out to raise more funds for him as they were motivated and inspired by his passion to his own charity and as per Adam Corolla and Dee Snider, when they were polled and asked who should win the Celebrity Apprentice, everyone involved on the final task said that Clay should win as he’s the stronger player. Arsenio was also surprised by Clay as he didn’t expect to be liking him that much and ultimately be friends with him and I think he’s feeling guilty of betraying his new BFF hence his suggestion of having a tie during some of his interviews before the live finale show.
Oh well, we’ve been through this 2nd place before and Clay did well and will still do well but still, it breaks my heart for him because he went to this competition in good faith and worked his ass off to do well and win for his baby, the National Inclusion Project (NIP), but once again got robbed of a well-deserving victory. Dee has twitted that “Clay was robbed…nuff said” and when asked what happened, he said “it was fixed”. And I agree 110%! Why do you think they never followed their own criterias in judging the final tasks where Clay raised the most amount of money, has better PSA, has better fun and lively party and has better variety show? Good heavens, I was in attendance at the taping of the final tasks in early Nov 2011 and witnessed the entire events in person without the unfair edits or cuts, even seeing some of Arsenio’s guests crashed to Clay’s party because they’re bored and not happy in AH’s party. NBC/DT/CAppr crew knew in their hearts that Clay won this final task hands down so they badly edited out and cut Clay from his own lively and fun carnival party and the kick-ass very entertaining variety show where all the audience including Arsenio’s had been screaming, fist pumping, singing along and dancing the entire time. Everybody was enjoying it so much like it was a concert in a bigger venue. Clay’s variety show was much longer and better produced and we as well as all the viewers were cheated when they didn’t allow this wonderful portion of the show to be shown and seen on TV during the finale show and instead used the hours unwisely to show some embarrassing moments of Lou Ferrigno’s 110%, Lisa’s misbehavior and other unimportant things. But as Penn said, there are no rules in Celebrity Apprentice and it is what it is…whatever is good and profitable for DT’s own interests and to hell with whoever gets in his way, fair or not. Shame on the Trump family and NBC for allowing this travesty to happen! They lack integrity! I’ll never watch this show again! It’s just a waste of time!
The only consolation we got from this rigged and scam of a show was the emergence of the smart, funny, witty, savvy, creative, hardworking and talented Clay Aiken that a lot of wrong perceptions of him were changed and he gained new fans and followers and the most important was the attention and awareness it brought to his charity that after this sad and unfair finale, lots of people were outraged, disappointed and angry of the outcome that they’re donating to National Inclusion Project. As Clay said, please “vote with your wallets and donate to inclusionproject.org”.
How’s this for bitter? The final episode is still waiting, unplayed, on my DVR. When I heard who won I couldn’t, just COULDN’T, watch Clay illegitimately lose again.
Today I finally brought myself to read the recap. One day I may go through the footage and pick out a select few things to watch, but not right now.
Thank you, Luscious, for recapping one of my favorite shows with almost the exact same feelings I have about how it all went down. We know who REALLY won. I hope to read the comments when the bitterness has receded a bit more, LOL.
I can certainly understand your feelings as I’ve been very bitter as well about this whole damn thing. I have come to accept the result because of the great exposures the show has given to Clay and his charity, the National Inclusion Project, but I still have not recovered from the anger how they lied, deceived, pretended, disrespected, mistreated, manipulated, edited, used, discriminated Clay because he’s a gay activist and an Obama supporter, who joined the competition in good faith, to do well to win it for the sake of NIP and all the children benefiting from it and yet still lose just because of these no-integrity-selfish idiots running their scammed show, announcing the wrong man as the winner which they couldn’t justify well enough that they decided not to talk about the final tasks points during the finale’s boardroom. It’s just so unfair and heartbreaking! Clay didn’t deserve all of those but he’s a strong person handling it so well with dignity better than I could have and I love and admire him more and more.
At least now we can all go back to hating Donald Trump, the way nature intended. If he had acknowledged the fact that Clay won, we might be feeling something like warmth or even gratitude towards the birther creep. The very idea makes me shudder.