Debbie and Dee come back on stage and do a little 80′s musical competition, which is cute, but the crowd clearly identifies with Dee. Then Clay comes on and starts belting out the theme song from Dirty Dancing and then Aubrey joins him. They sound great.
This is becoming a common thing with these two.
The show is over. Arsenio says he wishes he were playing against someone he didn’t like. But these two are rooting for each other as much as they are hoping they will win.
Clay has no idea a conspiracy is afoot.
And so we come back from commercial and now I understand why the crowd is so much more into this crap than I am.
There is an audience fluffer.
It’s so boring, even Ivanka’s mind starts to wander.
Arsenio’s team raised $167,100.00.
Clay’s team raised $301,500.00.
That’s a huge difference! That right there seems like it should prove who the winner should be. Especially since Arsenio was getting big hitters like Eddie Murphy and Jay Leno sending him money.
We cut back to the live show and Trump introduces the two finalists.
I like Arsenio’s hair growing back like this.
Penn: Clay Aiken
Dee: Clay Aiken
Lisa: Clay Aiken but with Arsenio getting his own late night show next fall
Debbie: Clay Aiken
Dayana: Arsenio because Clay was mean to her
DelishIvanka comes on and introduces Clay Aiken and Arsenio Hall. Clearly it is some kind of performance. Clay’s all alone on stage and starts singing Lean On Me, although I don’t like the key he’s singing it in. What the hell is going on? Is Arsenio going to sing? Why are the two finalists fighting for the title singing together? Did Marlee do this with John Rich last season???
Yep, it’s a freaking duet with Clay and Arsenio. This clearly has some sort of ridiculous agenda that has nothing to do with our show. You can’t tell me Pierce Morgan came out and entertained the audience during his finale. Did he? Did Joan Rivers do stand up, while Annie Duke played heads up with Ivanka? WTF is going on?
It sounds nice… most of the time.
Arsenio is not a trained singer and so he falters on the pitch from time to time. Sadly he drags Clay down with him and it isn’t until Clay retreats to stand next to the choir that he can get back on track. It was sweet but completely bizarre for a competition between these two men. Feels like a set up for something else – some future event or something.
The men sing us out into the break and it’s all feel goody,
like an after school special.
We come back from commercial and Clay and Arsenio are sitting in their chairs again as if nothing happened. It’s like a Glee moment on Celebrity Apprentice. Too weird to even contemplate anymore. Moving on.
Clay says he should win Celebrity Apprentice because his mom had to sit through him losing a show once already and he really doesn’t want to make her sit through it again.
I’m not sure I like that you lost as a Project Manager.
Uh-oh. Trump turns to Arsenio and says he was very honored when Arsenio said if he got the Donald Trump seal of approval, he would never forget it for the rest of his life.
Well he might not be as strong as Clay, but he sure knows
how to blow the right smoke up an ass.
There’s more mention that Arsenio is trying to re-emerge and get a late night talk show. *sigh* looks like DaisyHurts, one of our readers is right. See her post in the Finale part 1 link about this crap.
Apparently Trump has run out of nothings to talk about because he turns to the fired Celebs and asks Lisa to ask a question of Arsenio. She’s clearly unprepared and comes up with the one idea that shows she really does have issues about it, which means she probably was always jealous of Dayana. She asks Arsenio if he finds her attractive.
Holy side boob, Teresa!
Arsenio reaches far into his bag of kiss ass to say she’s not only visually beautiful but a great mind is the sexiest thing a woman can have.
Then Trump says he (Arsenio) does find Lisa attractive but he doesn’t find Dayana attractive. What? With that, he commands Dayana to ask Arsenio a question. She comes up with, “Arsenio, do you find Lisa attractive?”
Okay, fine, so she doesn’t have the best ideas.
And she’s the only one who claps and agrees when Arsenio reaches in all the way up to his shoulder in that bag of his and pulls out the suggestion that if Lisa had started earlier she could have been a Miss Universe too.
Thankfully we go to commercial and Sparks promises to make his decision when we return. After the break, Ivanka talks about how strong Clay was as a leader and how Arsenio had a gentler managing skill but both did well. Eric points out that Clay raised a ton of money but Arsenio went undefeated as a project manager. I can’t believe they are even taking those in to consideration when the winners were clearly chosen to service some alternate agenda other than who really earned it.
Whatever, with that Trump announces that Arsenio Hall is the new Celebrity Apprentice.
You gotta be kidding me!