Celebrity Apprentice Recap: A-holes and D-Bags and Meatballs, Oh My!

22 Comments

1. 1
   vish
   Posted March 5, 2013 at 4:43 am

   Trump, as usual, fired the wrong person, why persecute Brett because he wants to go another round, that’s like saying if you win an academy award you have to stop acting.
   Trump is an idiot.
   Brande should have gone home or Omarosa, I dont care how much money Brande raised, she was unprofessional and so was Omarosa, any idiot can see that. Trump just wants the ratings like anyone else, so we have to endure his own conniving and manipulating just as with the Magic Elves. God help us. This is going to be one hell of an annoying season, I can tell.
   The tone has been set, the audience is screwed.

2. 2
   Pegalicious
   Posted March 5, 2013 at 7:11 am

   So glad you’re stepping up and recapping this, @ApplePie; your sacrifice will let us keep up with the all the sturm und drang.

   I agree with @vish; Brett shouldn’t have gone home. Of course, IMO Brande should have brought Omarosa, not Brett, back into the boardroom; now it’s clear she’s someone who can’t be trusted to keep her word. Team Power seems to be a total mess.

   I’m sure Trump and the producers just adore Omarosa’s willingness to take on the role of villain, and I suspect she’ll be around for a while — but I don’t think they’ll let her win. I wouldn’t be surprised if Trace Adkins is victorious this time.

3. 3
   snowshoecat
   Posted March 5, 2013 at 8:51 am

   @aPie, great recap, and somebody did her homework. Knowing all that stuff about the playahs is amazing.

   Yup. Wrong person went home.

   But then this is The Donald.

4. 4
   trkaelin
   Posted March 5, 2013 at 9:36 am

   I watched last season when Bret won, and I’m confused why he hates Bret so much? Cause he’s hot and has killer (albeit fake) hair?? And didn’t the show invite Bret back?? Wouldn’t it some fairly logical he would come back and try to raise some more money for his charity if asked?

5. 5
   Boba Fett
   Posted March 5, 2013 at 10:00 am

   Twisted Sister didn’t do Come on Feel The Noize. That was Quiet Riot. This is a simple message from your 80′s metal historian.

6. 6
   April
   Posted March 5, 2013 at 11:12 am

   Yeah I am a huge fan of Bret’s from his season. I always thought Bret was some stupid rocker and I was amazed by what a kind, smart, loving, sweet guy he is. If I was not married I would totally do a season of Rock of Love to try to win his heart. I thought the Don was just being a dumbass as usual to be mad at Bret for wanting to raise money for charity and bring awareness to diabetes again and then punishing him for it.

   I wish Annie Duke would be on this season. I think she got SCREWED on her season against Joan. She may not be as likeable as Joan but she was a pro at the game.

   Oh Gary Busey how I adore thee! I actually found it hilarious that Piers really seemed to enjoy his tour of the kitchen with Busey. Then he was all “I have never seen a man so enthusiastic about meatballs.” How can he do all that with a straight face I do not know! I think Piers might be a Busey lover too.

   Omarosa, well we know who the bitch of the season is already. WTF about not just saying what the totals were?! That was your job to keep up with that. Trump would have never fired her though so I would not have brought her back in either.

   I really wish they could cut this show down to 1 hour and then maybe do like Drag Race does and have an Untucked type show that can show all the extra not central stuff if people want to see it.

7. 7
   Derek Hazelton
   Posted March 5, 2013 at 2:38 pm

   I’m kind of in love with Omarosa, mostly because it’s rare to see a black woman on reality TV so delightfully embrace getting the bitch edit time and time again. She is strong, ballsy, cunning, and intelligent enough to know continue to build a friendship or at the very least, a working relationship with Trump. (He cast her on “The Ultimate Merger,” that dating show on TVOne, even though I prefer the Toccara Top Model Season). She knows she’s there for the ratings, so she’s going to be “Mr. Trump’s” hatchet woman by instigating drama, picking fights, and throwing the other contestants under the bus.

8. 8
   ApplePie
   Posted March 5, 2013 at 4:10 pm

   @Boba … yep, “We’re Not Gonna Take It” is the one I meant. I may need your musical knowledge in the future as I was more of a 80′s pop fan (cringe) than metal head. I agree with most of you that sending home Bret first was petty and underhanded. If The Don wants ratings, why not get rid of Brande or Latoya (who was pretty normal, for a Jackson) and keep Bret and Omarosa until the season end for an ultimate good vs. evil showdown (with Trace coming in 3rd)? @Derek, I think Bret, Omarosa and The Don had a pre-season meeting and discussed what their respective roles would be. Otherwise, nothing explains Trump’s vitriolic comments to Bret, unless he’s a Scientologist and doesn’t believe in diabetes.

9. 9
   sarcasatire
   Posted March 5, 2013 at 4:40 pm

   Trump won’t openly admit it, but he is forever indebted to Omarosa for putting The Apprentice on the map. Her villain-ness made the show popular and everyone tuned in to see what the buzz was about. So, he would not have fired her and Brande was smart to, not only pick up on that, but to point it out to Trump.

   Um, did I hear Trump say “I bet you look good on your knees” to Brande? Can we talk about THAT for a moment?

10. 10
    April
    Posted March 5, 2013 at 4:46 pm

    Oh yeah Trump is a sexist pig alright. He makes some fairly piggish comments to the women I have noticed.

    Oh yeah since you are not the recapper from last season, she always said Ivanka was a vampire and she knew I was in lesbian love with her. I was happy this show got back on just so I can stare at Ivanka every week. So pretty! Her angry face is even pretty.

11. 11
    Chicken Lips
    Posted March 5, 2013 at 7:46 pm

    So much to say, so glad this is being ‘capped! Thank you thank you thank you!

    I’m a nerd, so I’m going to number these. Please note that at almost all times I’m using the term “celebrity” loosely (aka “Who in the hell are you? Are you still even relevant?”).

    1. On Bret taking Omarosa high in the draft – I think I get where his head was at. She’s a big old bitch that has it out for just about everyone, so you’d rather have that on your team than have to face it, right? Unfortunately what Bret didn’t know was that apparently Omarosa is not fan of the Tour Bus Thrust or anyone that goes against her and lets the dingy broad be PM after Trumpie has already called someone out on the carpet. While it was sad to see him go, between Trumpie regaling us with the story of what a bad idea his coming back to play was and Omarosa not getting her way, even my blind dog saw Bret’s firing coming. Sorry, homie, maybe you and Wilfred Brimley can team up to get something going for diabeetus.

    2. I am 100% in favor of the “I’m-not-calling-my-big-donors-for-your-stupid-charity-I-need-that-for-my-charity!” mentality. That’s what you get for making all these tasks fundraising tasks – it’s a recession you know! All these celebrities can’t be plunking down $100,000 every task. $100,000 to them is like $10 to me and I know I can’t afford to give $10 to any charity, much less every time a friend calls. It’s completely lopsided and I think in the first Celebrity season they didn’t do this until someone had this brilliant idea to call some richy rich friends. If all they are going to do is manufacture some drama and show us celebrities on the phone, at least make it a star studded telethon for something. Then I wouldn’t have to watch Trumpie.

    3. Oh, Dennis Rodman – how big of a crazy loon are you that you got picked AFTER Gary Busey?

    4. Trumpie: “How can I fire the person that raised the most money?” Uh, let’s take a step back, Jack. First of all, you have absolutely no set criteria for firing anyone. It just depends on which side of your head your toupee wakes up on. Secondly, since these folks now seem to take the position that I pointed out in #2 (not calling up your donors for someone else’s jank charity), I’m guessing the PM frequently raises the most money…and you fire the PM because you “rationalize” it by saying, “Well, the PM lead this merry band of losers – how can I fire anyone else?” Which means that you probably fire the person that raised the most money on the team with great frequency and without a thought to the money raised. Ass.

    As you can tell, my friend doesn’t watch this show, so I have no one to discuss it with – which is why I love the ‘caps!

12. 12
    jessiecpt
    Posted March 5, 2013 at 11:26 pm

    I’m pretty sure that was the NYC Public Library–where they first met Trump. Not that other place you mentioned.

13. 13
    jessiecpt
    Posted March 5, 2013 at 11:35 pm

    I guess that isn’t the library and is the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Sorry, I retract my statement!

14. 14
    NatPatBen
    Posted March 6, 2013 at 6:43 am

    Brande killed me when she said Omaraosa didn’t reveal the numbers when initially asked because she was letting Brande, as the PM, reveal the lowest two. Come on, now. CLEARLY Omarosa knew you had no idea and was setting you up for failure.

    But Brande redeemed herself to me a bit by knowing not to bring Omarosa in the boardroom since Trump clearly wouldn’t fire his #1 villain yet.

15. 15
    sweetblondie
    Posted March 6, 2013 at 1:52 pm

    Ivanka and Jennifer Lawrence could be sisters…

    I have always really like Ivanka…I can’t beleive she came from that man..ugh!! Obviously she takes more after her mother…thank goodness…

16. 16
    hbgchick
    Posted March 7, 2013 at 9:47 am

    If Trump didn’t want a winner to come back on the show, he SHOULDN’T HAVE INVITED HIM. Asshat.

    All Trump did by firing Bret is to make sure everyone knows that he (Trump) is completely biased I like Bret even better for coming back for his charity and I like him even better still for leaving with dignity when it was clear that there was no possible way that this was going to be anywhere close to a fair contest. He’s too good for this show anyway – I hope his charity flouishes just because he’s a good guy.

17. 17
    hbgchick
    Posted March 7, 2013 at 9:48 am

    I hate it when I make a typo that changes the whole tone of the post…there was supposed to be a period after “biased”. Holy run on sentence, sorry!

18. 18
    cattyfan
    Posted March 9, 2013 at 3:39 pm

    Ok…so I finally watched my DVR of this train wreck. Here’s my response:

    I’m pretty sure Michael Clarke Duncan died just to get away from Omarosa’s big mouth. Good grief. Can someone PLEASE shut that woman up? Not only does she never stop talking, she seems to be equally divided between lying (“I didn’t bring Piers’ kids into it” Yes, you did. Would you like to see the recording?,) quoting things out of context (“the Bible says’vengeance is mine.’”Yeah…GOD was saying that, you idiot. ), and repeating school yeard taunts 37 times a piece as though it makes them sound smarter, (“yo mama, Piers.”)

    Both Piers and Omarosa a attention whores, and having them on together is as much fun as swallowing lye. Piers is a petty, small minded man who can’t let go of something that happened years ago. We get it. You’re enemies. Use facts to make her look foolish (like the fact that she was unable or unwilling to tell the truth about what people raised) instead of childish name-calling.

    Why did everyone let Omarosa get away with not answering ANY questions. How many of her people donated. What EXACTLY did everyone get for donations…not just checks, but the cash.

    How is Bret trying to earn more for his charity wrong? I would have looked at Trump and told him if he was willing to donate a million to my charity, I would be happy to move to the other side of the table. Trump is an ass.

    Lastly Piers and Trump (both of whom I despise) seem to enjoy ever-more blatant sexual harassment of the women. Someone really (like Ivanka) really needs to call them on the carpet for that. It’s is repulsive.

    And they wonder why the ratings are down…

19. 19
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted March 10, 2013 at 10:53 am

    I feel bad that it happened, but Bret deserved to go for being dumb.
    Why pick Omarosa for his team? Dumb! And then to be so arrogant as to think that he could somehow control her. Omarosa doesn’t give a fuck about the other team. She’ll try to win but her only real thought is how to destroy her own team so she can make it to the end. Just madness.
    In the words of my beloved Alvin from Amish Mafia, you need not call for the devil; he’ll come on his own.

    I’m also trying to figure out why the others on the team stepped up to defend Omarosa in the boardroom.
    Was it really because they were tired of Piers’ shit, or because they were trying to earn points with Omarosa? I hope they don’t think that will save them from her bitchery and backstabbing ways.

    Steven Baldwin is the biggest dumbass. He just looks stupid with his face.
    And even though I definitely support his strategy, he was extremely stupid to admit it to the Trumps. Trace is gonna put him up and they gonna fire him the first chance they get.
    And God help him if he becomes PM on a fundraising challenge and his team doesn’t win. You KNOW they gonna fire his ass so hard, he’s gonna need some burn ointment.

    I want to put Dennis Rodman in a bath with some bleach and scrub him down with a plastic bristle brush. I would certainly not eat any meatball or anything else he made for me.

    Donald Trump is disgusting and demeaning towards women, which I don’t understand, given that he has his own daughter next to him.
    How would he feel if people said those kinds of filthy things to her?

20. 20
    Mike Hunt
    Posted March 11, 2013 at 12:24 am

    @ ApplePie Great job!!! This isn’t the easiest of shows to recap but you hit it out of the park. I am late to the party because I didn’t think that it was going to get recapped. Glad I decided to check. I definitely appreciate your stepping up to the plate!!!

    So about the only thing I will add here is that it is Donald’s real hair. Not just a comb over either.

21. 21
    Nadine Lumley
    Posted May 6, 2013 at 9:34 pm

    -00-

    http://twitpic.com/cotw5l

    -00-

22. 22
    Nadine Lumley
    Posted May 6, 2013 at 9:37 pm

    whoops, posted wrong place