Celebrity Apprentice – Shedding Dead Weight

44 Comments

1. 1
   nikki
   Posted May 8, 2012 at 4:48 pm

   “grizzled fatty steak”–ANOTHER CLASSIC, Luscious! Great recap!

2. 2
   April
   Posted May 8, 2012 at 4:55 pm

   I personally find Donald Jr hot. Just saying, not as hot as Ivanka though.

   I also caught the scene where Lisa was eating while Clay did all the work. Well that is obviously what she does best.

   I don’t think the negotiations mattered much since they got what they needed in the end.

   I thought the other team clearly won. The other ad was like from the 80s and not very Elle at all. Lame.

   I wish Lisa would have been fired better. I wanted her to get yelled at.

3. 3
   April
   Posted May 8, 2012 at 4:57 pm

   See you guys laughed at me for thinking Teresa seemed nice but Arsenio really thought the same about her. He like me also does not watch RHONJ. So either she is acting on RH or she is acting on CA. Or she is multiple personalities.

4. 4
   labowner
   Posted May 8, 2012 at 5:18 pm

   Basically Teresa was a fish way out of her pond, thus her perceived niceness.

5. 5
   featherhead
   Posted May 8, 2012 at 6:13 pm

   Oh Luscious, you totally have to watch last season! I can sum it up for you in two words – GARY BUSEY!!!!

6. 6
   crankyguy
   Posted May 8, 2012 at 6:32 pm

   I can look at a boob job and tell if it’s good, but I’m not a plastic surgeon. Favorite NJHW moment of the episode:

   I’m a photographer!

   What’s an f-stop?

   I can look at a picture and tell if it’s good.

7. 7
   sarcasatire
   Posted May 8, 2012 at 6:53 pm

   Great recap, Luscious!!

   And you HAVE to watch last season, it’s what got me hooked. I came for Nene, I stayed for Meatloaf.
   And you’re right, John Rich was the breakout star, and was PM four times! Marlee was solid, but as usual, the women have egos so she was a bit below the radar at times, but managed to persist where others failed. And her interpreter Jack is my fav..the inflections in his voice match the emphatic thrusts of her fingers perfectly!

   And in case you’re not convinced..there’s:
   Gary Busey
   Gary Busey and Meatloaf’s Missing Paint Meltdown
   Lisa Rinna gets owned by Star
   Star get owned by Nene
   Latoya gets called Casper the Ghost.

   Good times!!

   About your fundraising question, there just wasn’t enough fundraising tasks this season. It seemed to be all about sponsors donating $20-$50 grand in exchange for a 2hr infomercial. Most of last season’s challenges didn’t even have sponsors. It was just, sell pizza and fundraise (like the sandwich task Paul won) or make a piece of art and sell it, tasks that had them calling in the big dogs. And a lot of them had some very rich friends.

   I’m not sure John Rich understands this when he asks Arsenio why he only won $100 thousand. But this season’s group had to be more creative and strategic for their win, so there’s no shame in the dollar amount.

   Although the finale will be a fundraiser/sponsored task for sure.

8. 8
   Chicken Lips
   Posted May 8, 2012 at 7:02 pm

   Due to Time Warner Cable’s complete ineptness in providing a DVR converter that works, I didn’t see the first hour of the show and I haven’t read the recap yet, but I can more than likely sum it up: Aubrey: “I’m creative! Look at me! Look at my boobies! What are you dinosaurs doing? MEEEEEEEEEEEE!” Lisa: “Hunh. Dayana’s gone. Lou’s gone. Who will I spew my hatred out at this week? Maybe I’ll just quietly seethe knowing that I’m completely awesome and not at all a vicious biatch.” Arsenio: “Seriously?” Theresa: “Wait, what are we doing here?” Clay: “I’m Clay Aiken, bitches!”

   Am I right?

9. 9
   April
   Posted May 8, 2012 at 7:30 pm

   The only season of CA I missed was the first one. I only got to see maybe two episodes. I pegged Piers as the winner from the get to though and I was right. I may have to see if it is available on Hulu or something and watch them in completion.

10. 10
    April
    Posted May 8, 2012 at 7:32 pm

    I really don’ t think Arsenio should make it to the finals. I know everyone hates Aubrey so will disagree. But in REAL business, a man who goes off on a woman and calls her “Bitch” and “whore” and “fat gut” would not only be fired but have a lawsuit against him. She may be annoying but she kept it reigned in smartly unlike Arsenio. Just like when Joan Rivers called Annie “worse than Hitler” in the board room and she was not fired for that. In reality, that would be an automatic firing and Joan won the freaking competition! I know it is stupid reality tv and does not play like the real world, but that is just how I see it.

11. 11
    sarcasatire
    Posted May 8, 2012 at 7:44 pm

    Well, these are celebrities. The same rules don’t apply. Trump calls Rosie all sorts of names, mocks the president, and we give him a TV show.

12. 12
    DaisyHurts
    Posted May 8, 2012 at 8:11 pm

    I think there are two reasons John Rich and Marlee Matlin raised that much money. The first, and most important, is that far more of the challenges in their year involved fund raising, so he wasn’t playing for as little as $20,000 an episode. The second is that nearly every celebrity except for Rich and Matlin were the deadest of dead weight. It’s not hard to rise to the top against opponents like Gary Busey, Star Jones and LaToya Jackson.

13. 13
    DaisyHurts
    Posted May 8, 2012 at 8:17 pm

    And now I see sarcasatire beat me to my post with a better one saying the same thing. Memo to self: refresh the page before posting to see if any new comments were made while I was reading…

14. 14
    crankyguy
    Posted May 8, 2012 at 8:28 pm

    Hell to the yes sarcasatire and DaisyHurts about the difference in money raised between the two seasons. John Rich was so sanctimonious and condescending about his superior fund-raising accomplishments. It made me hate him a little bit.

15. 15
    Krys
    Posted May 8, 2012 at 8:55 pm

    Oh but Clay DID wrestle! Remember the lil showdown with Arsenio! LOL

16. 16
    Pikey
    Posted May 8, 2012 at 9:03 pm

    Also, if I remember correctly, in addition to there being more fund raising tasks, last year had fewer contestants so there were more chances to be project manager.

    As for this weeks hair dryer, I don’t know about anyone else here, but I wouldn’t pay $300 for a hair dryer when my $30 one works just fine, even if I have to take a chance on getting carpel tunnel syndrome from that pesky on/off switch!

17. 17
    June1
    Posted May 8, 2012 at 9:21 pm

    Your recaps always make me laugh out loud. I love them. Lise and Theresa picking their models was hilarious! (and a bit sad for T.) I think it would make a great skit for SNL. Btw, as others have said, last year there were many fund raisers and lots of phone calls to their friends for money. This year, I can remember 2: Sandwich Sale and NYC Guidebook. Was there another one. Plus the 2 big moneymakers were fired: Paul & Dee. Plus, Penn’s Blue Man Group blew their money into the crowd. Crazy. John Rich was, IMO, too full of himself. He’s not Trump. He didn’t even give Clay Aiken a chance to answer his questions — as per the edit anyway. Can’t wait for next Sunday. thanks again for the recap!

18. 18
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted May 8, 2012 at 10:11 pm

    John Rich got on my nerves…I’ll have to go back and watch the last season and maybe he’ll grow on me then, but in the interviews, he was just annoying.
    I was especially frustrated by the way he interviewed Clay. It was more of a lecture than anything, and it was irrelevant at that. Most of the contestants remaining were only Project Manager twice, since so many of the Project Managers got sent home this season on their tasks. Only Lisa was PM more than twice, and in her case, it was three times. So why did he harp on it like that?
    Same thing about the money, although it’s true that Aubrey generally brings in less money than other people have, even for charities that are not her own.

    And Alice the model was hilarious!!! I love how she was trying to be the good model, not burning any bridges by just saying thanks and leaving, but at the last minute, she was like…no fuck that, this shit is not okay. In their defense though, her hair was nowhere near as red as it looked in the picture. The picture was red red red and in person, she was more like a washed out strawberry blonde. Aubrey’s hair color plus the thickness with all those extensions had much more impact. But I will say that Aubrey needs to start using conditioner…when they started styling her hair, that shit looked dry as the Sahara. I’m shocked it didn’t burst into flames from the curling iron. Also, I can’t believe you didn’t mention Farouk’s magical boots!

    Dorkus Amongus has his moments of hotness. I agree his casual look was one such moment.

    And the right people got fired. Arsenio gonna be next, and then there will be a Clay v. Aubrey showdown, and then Clay will dominate, returning Aubrey to her life of attention whoring and trying desperately to be relevant.
    All will be as it should.

19. 19
    sarcasatire
    Posted May 8, 2012 at 10:46 pm

    Crankyguy, John Rich was just as cocky last season.

    Daisyhurts, Great minds…

    Farouk was also on last season. So were the the shoes he style from the Wicked Witch of the West. I bet he wanted to tap his heels three times when he was forced to stand in the middle of a drafty warehouse and watch Nene eat into his camera time by tearing Star a new one. Good times!

    Last season they had to do an ad campaign and of I remember correctly, the losing team was criticsized for having too much text on the page. People flip past ads, the pictures need to make an impact. No way Clay and Lisa’s ad was better. It had two paragraphs imposed on a weak ass photo that featured the women, but not their hair. Trump just wanted to even up the teams before he dropped the interview bomb.

    He also wanted to spare us from seeing Teresa interviewed by John Rich. I thank him for that.

20. 20
    April
    Posted May 9, 2012 at 1:29 am

    I agree with John Rich that Clay has flown under the radar and not stepped up enough to be PM. But that is also a good strategy.

21. 21
    DaisyHurts
    Posted May 9, 2012 at 5:38 am

    He stepped up just as often as anybody else left. Of the four left at that point, three had been PM twice and the other three times. People this season tried to take turns being PM, which was not only fair, but judging by what Clay’s blog said after Dayana refused to step aside and let him be PM twice in a row for the jingle challenge, one of the rules.

22. 22
    Vickie
    Posted May 9, 2012 at 6:18 am

    From what I heard, the only reason John Rich was PM four times last year was because the finale between him and Marlee counted as one of those times.

23. 23
    hot cawfee
    Posted May 9, 2012 at 6:19 am

    I think Aubrey is a “Lauren Manzo” size 4

24. 24
    Vickie
    Posted May 9, 2012 at 6:22 am

    Also, I can’t believe you left out the very funny moment when Clay said to Don Jr.,”I’m picking out pictures of women,” and Jr. replied,”What could *possibly* go wrong??”

    And, once the photoshoot actually started, Clay seemed in his element.

    In defense of Forte’s clothes, they were meant to convey stereotypes, to go along with the concept of,”There’s more here that meets the eye.” Also, it appeared that the model did the bulk of the shopping. And the clothes were from Lord&Taylor.

25. 25
    kylie
    Posted May 9, 2012 at 7:07 am

    John Rich is one rude guy, and so full of himself. Didn’t watch last season, but I cannot imagine being happy he won!

    For me, I would rate the final four as 1. Clay 2. Aubrey 3. Lisa and 4. Penn or Dee. I have absolutely no idea why Arsenio is still there. He does next to nothing every single week. Trump has a soft spot for him, and that’s the only excuse I can come up with. Taking a couple of shots of a hair dryer does not impress me.

    Having fewer people would make for more project manager opportunities. If Clay had wrestled Dayana to the ground for the jingle task, people would have labeled him a bully or worse. Somehow, she always managed to make people see her as a victim. They must have missed her self satisfied smirking when she got Lisa to lose her temper. However, she WAS sweeter than Lisa and Aubrey!!! She just was not a good manager for the jingle task PERIOD.

    Afraid Arsenio might take this, but it would have nothing to do with his contributions. Clay should have this in the bag, for his work ethic, intelligence, people skills, and calm voice in the middle of the storm. He’s also hilarious, and it was nice to see a side of him I didn’t expect.

26. 26
    L Chienne
    Posted May 9, 2012 at 8:24 am

    LOVE John Rich. Never heard of him before the show last season but felt he was sharp, fair and nothing like the venomous vipers, Lisa and Aubrey. It irks me to no end that those two “ladies” take no responsibility for all their losses. Lisa’s first win was an improv that she didn’t write, for crap sake.

    Hope Aubrey is the next to go.

27. 27
    DaisyHurts
    Posted May 9, 2012 at 8:43 am

    It’s hardly a surprise the wrong team won. It’s been obvious for weeks who was going to be eliminated next, before the tasks even started. Sparky’s been picking them off in order of how boring they are, and that meant whichever team the MBP (most boring player) was on had to lose no matter how much better they did the work.

    I’m kind of glad Teresa didn’t have to try talking to John Rich. Although if she had, she may have finally shown the sort of insane rage they were hoping for when she was cast.

28. 28
    DaisyHurts
    Posted May 9, 2012 at 8:52 am

    Totally disagree with L Chienne about John Rich. He was such a creep, he was damn near the male Aubrey. He didn’t want to let the people he was “interviewing” answer any of his questions lest that allow them to do some of the talking, and most of his questions were just a way for him to brag about his own CA performance. “I was manager four times” “I made over a million” blah blah blah. What a revolting little ego monster.

29. 29
    crankyguy
    Posted May 9, 2012 at 9:47 am

    John Rich fair? He counts a PM for himself from the final two while castigating semi-finalists about not having as many PM stints as he did. Same thing for the fundraising; he counts he money he raised in the final to lecure people who have not yet been in the final about not raising amounts comparable to him. He’s a self-important asshole. It makes me wish Lou had stuck around for this so he could have thrown Rich through a wall.

30. 30
    Fred
    Posted May 9, 2012 at 11:45 am

    LOVE this as every week, Luscious…. btw, is your last name Jackson? Those who get the reference go on the cool bus. I am sooooo all about the Aiken now. Would have liked to have seen Penn, Dee, Adam & Patricia up there instead of Teresa, Dayana, Paul & Lou, but at least I’m sure 2 good guys will be in the finale. And I don’t mean Miss AllAboutMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…………………..

31. 31
    sarcasatire
    Posted May 9, 2012 at 12:20 pm

    Now, the real excitement begins! Because once the final two are announced, they have to build a team of past contestants and there is nothing more entertaining than a bitter, former player seeking redemption!

32. 32
    snowshoecat
    Posted May 9, 2012 at 1:57 pm

    This just in: According to Reality Tea, Tre is coming back to CA to (get this) help the final three. According to the site: “Teresa confirmed the news in her most recent Bravo Blog, but RadarOnline is also confirming that the reality mogul will be returning to the show. And apparently the Trumps continue to be impressed with Teresa’s business sense, despite the public debacles in her personal life.”

    “’People underestimated Teresa, she is a lot smarter than people realize and she has always used that to her advantage,’ ^Teresa^ (that was striken, but doesn’t seem to translate here) an insider shares. ‘Teresa has a college degree and was a successful business woman before joining Housewives, she knows exactly what she is doing.’”

33. 33
    DaisyHurts
    Posted May 9, 2012 at 2:49 pm

    ‘Teresa has a college degree and was a successful business woman before joining Housewives, she knows exactly what she is doing.’
    Umm… like when she declared bankruptcy?

    Maybe she managed her tests and term papers the same way she wrote her cookbooks: ghosts.

34. 34
    sarcasatire
    Posted May 9, 2012 at 4:43 pm

    A podcast with Amanda the receptionist. Inadvertently hilarious!

    Sure, she’s only seen answering phones and doodling in a notebook, but she says she a VP of Marketing!

    How did she get the job..she started by waiting tables at his golf course and when she finished college, Trump said, “Now, you’ll work for me.” So, either she is a family friend (yay, nepotism!) or Trump is grooming his next wife.

    http://insidetv.ew.com/2012/05/04/podcast-celebrity-apprentice-receptionist-amanda-miller/

35. 35
    jandbzmom
    Posted May 9, 2012 at 5:35 pm

    Great recap again! I told you that you would be surprised by the elimination! And yes, last season was a hoot. Meatloaf’s famous paint meltdown makes Lisa look tame by comparison. Gary Busey makes Teresa look like a Rhodes Scholar and Trump is rude as shit to Marlee’s sign language guy (the same guy as in this episode BTW). LaToya was hilarious and also no Rhodes Scholar but I have to say that the big, loud, chicken necking personalitites of Star Jones and NeNe Leeks (who is rocking her guest spot in Glee as “black Sue”) stole the show. I think Star, not John Rich, was the Aubrey of last season. The personalities were bigger, better, badder and madder last season.

    As for the next elimination, I kept stopping and rewinding the TV in the previews for next week and it looks like the Donald is pointing in the direction of Clay and Lisa’s side of the table when he says, “You’re Fired!” which has me concerned that maybe it is Clay and it will be an Aubrey/Arsenio finale?? I guess we will know soon enough!

36. 36
    NatPatBen
    Posted May 9, 2012 at 6:23 pm

    What bothered me was that Marlee (sp?) got upset for Arsenio for what he called Aubrey, but we didn’t see her bothered at all by what Lisa called Dayana (and many others).

37. 37
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted May 9, 2012 at 7:30 pm

    Well, Marlee and Arsenio are friends, so I guess she was disappointed because she knows him personally and it’s always worse when someone you know acts unbecomingly.
    I don’t think she liked Lisa very much either way.

38. 38
    Luscious
    Posted May 9, 2012 at 10:13 pm

    J&BMom – I checked that out too and had that thought at first. But those editors are no dummies – they could easily have been re-using the footage of Trump firing Lisa to throw us all off the scent… Love to the J and the B

39. 39
    kloewent
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 11:13 am

    So Happy that nasty witch is gone! What a slap to get fired along with Teresa!! Hahahahah

40. 40
    leslilly
    Posted May 12, 2012 at 8:55 pm

    Random thoughts on this episode:

    Teresa’s wimpiness and lame brain antics made me cringe. The fact that she, one of the weakest players intellectually, avoided elimination for so long just goes to show that the Trumps really have no idea what’s going on.

    Re: Aubrey being the model – ummm, ick! First of all, she exuded pure class as she sat in hair & makeup “with her tits out”. And her pics? I was shocked that they found a partially decent pic of Aubrey for the presentation skills – her entire look was skanky to the max. The hair, the make-up, the clothing she selected..and the poses & faces she made? This wasn’t a shoot for Hustler magazine. The girl is clueless.

    More on Aubrey – she was seriously shaking during the interview session with John Rich, and he made her cry. To lie about that fact to Trump was stupid. Although Trump is a big fat liar, he’s not going to hire someone who lies to him. Oh, and the “it’s all real!” comment to Farouk re: her hair. Aubrey, come on. Even Farouk gave her a “yeah, right” look.

    Who else can I pick on besides Aubrey? Lisa. I was thrilled she was finally fired, but it was unsatisfying. She was so damn nice about it! An act or real relief? I had the sense that she was genuinely relieved it was all over for her.

    I’m so curious to see who the final two are. I think it will definitely be Clay. Aubrey, although I can’t stand her, is probably the worthier opponent for Clay. Gotta love Arsenio. I do think he is intelligent and comes up with some good soundbites, but I’m not sure how many ideas he has really had this season. Hard to tell.

    I wish there were some strong & likeable women this season. Gotta have some drama, but it would be nice to have a deserving woman to root for.

    Oh, John Rich? Wow, he was confrontational – except with Lisa. From what they showed us, he seemed to let her slide. Was he that big of a dickhead during the season he won? I don’t remember hm like that.

41. 41
    April
    Posted May 12, 2012 at 9:41 pm

    I think I liked John Rich in his season but I know I definitely rooted for Marlee the whole time over him as well.

42. 42
    April
    Posted May 12, 2012 at 9:43 pm

    Did anyone that likes this show watch regular old Apprentice?

    Just curious? My husband and I started out watching regular Apprentice when it first aired years and years ago. We liked the first couple seasons a lot but after awhile it got stale. I think it was when they went to LA for it that we stopped watching. Then they had the genius idea of CA and I was back into it. Hubby does not watch CA though. Mostly because it is really long and I watch it online while he works during the day and I ignore my children. hahaha. CA never gets boring because celebrities and their antics are soooo funny!

43. 43
    sarcasatire
    Posted May 12, 2012 at 9:52 pm

    April, I used to watch the regular Apprentice and I loved the first few seasons, Bill, Randall, and the girl who won. Then I think I stopped caring. I missed the first few season of CA because I was living abroad or wasn’t into it (although the season with Cyndi Lauper looked great..she seemed like a nutcase.) But last season, when they showed the clips of Meatloaf vs Busey and Nene vs Star, I was there with bells on!

44. 44
    leslilly
    Posted May 12, 2012 at 10:22 pm

    Btw, as I watched Aubrey pose for the Elle campaign, I wanted to tell her that it’s a hairdryer, not a dildo.