Someone bring her a purple Solo cup.
Shannon can’t sit still (yeah, it might be the coffee) so she has Brooke put her flip flop back on so she can hobble across the street to see her dad. He seems to have a rental business (or is a pedophile) because he has bouncy house that she can use. He won’t be able to set it up for her, because he’s luring children to their death in Newark… but at least she got something done and she hobbles back home.
Why is Chris Hansen in my front yard?
Q: Why did the cripple cross the road? A: To get away from Chris Hansen’s cameras.
Alisha has decided to start up a parent’s team for cheerleading. (Okay, I’ve seen two posters go up in this episode and each one looks like it was made by a two year old. Alisha gets an “E” for Effort. Let’s be a little more creative for the cameras.) Ann signs right up and she wants to be in front so she’s seen. Bonnie is irritated by Ann’s superiority complex and that Ann thinks she’s on top and everyone else is beneath her. But I figure, let her go, because there’s no way she’ll be at the top of any stunts, so give her this little bit. Plus, Ann can clap. Ann interviews that Bonnie should hold a sign in front of her “god awful 80s make-up”. Nice Ann, because fat is timeless. (But okay, she might be right about the make-up.)
Again, you’re on TV… a little pride in your signage wouldn’t kill you.
I made that sign. Does it look blurry?
Bonnie asks Andrea if her husband is going to be on the cheer team. Andrea isn’t sure but she claims that her husband can do the worm, so if the team needs that, he’s available. Michelle says her husband’s job is to pay the bills, not to cheer. Bonnie’s daughter, Alana, thinks the whole thing sounds gross because of all the fat that will be jiggling around. She has a point, but she needs to be out there working on that back handspring. Less talky, more flippy, little girl. Your mom can hang on for only so long without you on Youth Silver. Alisha starts to say that they are going to be good, but then she remembers who the moms are and shuts up.
Like mother, like daughter. Blurry.
Shannon is trying to get inside the gym with all of her war injuries. She’s a hot mess and the music they play to her walking is perfect. She’s decked out in her finest running shorts and orange t-shirt and voiceovers that while she and Ann are still BFFs, she sees that Ann and Andrea have something going on too. She says she’s glad because she can’t be holding Ann’s hand all the time. I’d say that I’m sensing some jealousy, but I don’t think I am. Shannon asks Ann and Andrea about what kind of responses they are getting from sponsors for the fundraiser. Ann deadpans with “none”. And then follows up by saying that her husband was out of town and she couldn’t get anything done. BECAUSE SHE SLEPT. Andrea just shakes her head no. She hasn’t done anything either, but she’s smart enough to shut up about it. Shannon doesn’t want to think that Ann is going to let her down, but she’s worried that she will. Shannon starts to tell them both that she needs them to step up and Ann says “whatevs”. She interviews that she’s not the best at getting work done. No kidding, lard ass. You suck.
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