The next morning we wake up in Ann and Andrea’s room with Torrann and Kylie. What a lovely bunch of ladies. They all yell back and forth at each other and Andrea tells her daughter that no one is ever going to marry her for some reason.
In a different room, with Michelle and Mandy, we see a much calmer morning ritual. One person commented in the minicap that Ann and Andrea’s kids were “being real” and that Michelle’s kid was only being good because Michelle threatened her with a belt. And to this person I say EX-FKING-ACTLY!!! Ann and Andrea’s kids were totally real. Unfortunately their reality is bratty, annoying, and without manners. And to Michelle… good job… my parents preferred the ping pong paddle to the belt, but it worked just the same. You can’t edit bad behavior, because if you’re not an evil monster there will be no evil monster footage.
The editors make Olivia look so calm and obedient. What lens is that?
Another perfect example of editing… a smiling, happy mother? Where’s the filter?
That said, back in Satan’s room, Ann is clicking the hot flat iron in Torrann’s face, while Torrann screams at the top of her lungs. Kylie loves it and laughs. Andrea is getting annoyed. Torrann tells her mom that she doesn’t like her and Ann tells Torrann that she doesn’t like her either. Kylie threatens to kick her mom in the knees, while Torrann actually does kick her mom. They continue to argue and gripe while trying to hide the horns under a big hair bow.
Threatening with belts is bad… hot irons is all in family fun.
Can someone edit the banshee out of the room?
My uterus just took a hike. Kids suck.
So do parents.
Ashtyn puts her own make-up on and gets kudos from her mom while Kylie btches that she wants to eat. Andrea steps on Kylie’s broken toe and Torrann says that Ann is hurting her. They finally all manage to drag their pathetic asses out of the hotel.
Stupid cameraman… guess he missed her kicked the 3-legged dog.
Andrea is driving and doesn’t know where she’s going. Ann sits in the backseat with Kylie and says she’s not navigating. So Andrea is driving, lost, reading directions, and using her phone to try to find the competition. YAY! SAFETY FIRST. (But seriously, if a car has to go, it might as well be this one.) They are driving up and down the same interstate and Kylie and Ann work out a GREAT plan to play police sirens right into Andrea’s ear from Ann’s phone. Really? Can you think of anything less safe? In Torrann’s defense, she appeared to be no part of this, but she was probably plotting my death, so perhaps I should have wished she’d been involved.