Cheer Perfection Recap: Keep Your Hand Off Her Butt!!!


 Everyone knows the fun stuff always happens in the back of a bus.

I worry the weight might not be evenly distributed on the bus. How about two of you move across the aisle? 

 Haha. Losers.

Hey look. It’s Steve Jobs. Oh wait, it’s just Shannon in ninja clothes. 

“See, I can pull my four chins tight.” 

“Or I can just hide them behind my hand.” 

 Oops. Peekaboo. They’re back. Chinning!

In another part of the bus, the healthy moms, Mandy and Alisha, are talking about the competition. There is no drama time for Mandy, she wants to know what the competition looks like and what she needs to do to bring home the win. I wish they had shown what type of snacks each mom packed for their kids… Olivia would be the one with the trail mix watching Torrann and Ashtyn eat their Hostess Cupcakes.

 They’re round, with white circles on the frosting, and chocolate. They’re good.

They make it to Ohio safe and sound. They get off the bus and check into their hotel to grab a few hours of sleep before the competition the next day. Everyone’s checking in and tired and ready for bed, but Ann all by herself and nobody wants to pay any attention to her. Shannon says that her name is not “No Friend Ann”, that her name is “Lots of Friends Shannon”. Your name should be “Level 2 Shannon”. Also known as “Go Home Shannon”.

 ”They call me ‘Not On The Team Shannon’.”

It’s the day of the big competition and the whole thing looks impressive. The moms are all set up in the stands, while RD, Alisha, and the kids go around back to warm-up. Andrea interviews that she is very nervous. She says this is a big deal. Alisha says that at this point there is not much that they can do. They know what they have to do; it just will be up to them to do it. They start to walk through the routine and start making mistakes that they never made before. They can’t get their stands up, they are off beat, and they were not lined up properly. Alisha starts to lose her mind. If my child was the flyer in Torran’s stunt group I would pay Alisha any amount of money to get her off. She does not pay attention. Michelle’s daughter, Ashtyn, gets hit in the mouth, and because she has braces her mouth started bleeding. RD is running around trying to keep these girls together. Next, I’m not quite sure what happened, I’ve watched it a few times, and I can’t see how she fell on her head, but apparently Maggie fell off the stunt and landed on her head. RD had the medic come over to check her out, to make sure that she still had feeling everywhere. Well, I’m assuming he said “feeling”. It sounded like he said “filling”. But it’s probably an Arkansas thing. Because why would a kid have “filling”, right?

Madelyne27

It's never too soon. It's never too far. And it's never the wrong time.

23 Comments

  1. 1
    Pinklotus
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 5:10 pm

    I snorted at your chocolate fountain comment!
    I’m going to just say it: I like Andrea. And I like Kylie.
    I’ve been on the fence about Shannon this whole time, and now I like her about as much as I like Ann (so not at all). She’s just as bad, if not worse than Ann.
    It was painful watching Bonnie push Alana the way she did. I felt uncomfortable watching it, and I just wanted to grab Alana and hug her.
    I’m getting a little tired of the mama drama on this show. I know that shows like this always have drama, but I kind of wish there were a little more emphasis on the kids and cheerleading and a little less on the moms.
    And lastly, Cambree is the cutest little girl ever.

  2. 2
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 5:26 pm

    There are supposed to be more episodes this summer…so basically we get to wait about 6 months before we find out if this show is coming back…

    I can understand why Bonnie and Alana were on the trip. Alicia said if you do your back handspring you can go…Pretty sure Shannon went because she was contractually obligated…

    Ugh, Ann!

  3. 3
    DM
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 6:07 pm

    Yes, this show did get picked up for 8 more episodes. They are supposed to air this summer.

  4. 4
    Andrea_cheermom
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 7:18 pm

    Well even though you think I’m a crazy bitch & my husband is gay we all enjoy reading your recaps each week. I am proud of the show. I’m very proud of Kylie & all the other cast kids! Filming this show was a blast and so look forward to doing it again. And I must say 99% of people that contact me about the show say how much they love & enjoy Kylie and myself so I guess we did something right. But don’t worry, next 8 episodes I’ll make sure and be an even bigger biotch, just to read about it in the TVGasm recaps! ;)

  5. 5
    ellemenop
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 7:28 pm

    … isn’t a may-december romance a relationship between a young person and a much older person???

  6. 6
    April
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 7:31 pm

    Good recap. Ann keeps talking about “revenge” she is plotting. That bitch is too lazy to plot anything. Plotting and revenge takes work. She could not even handle stopping at Walgreens and picking up a posterboard so how can she plot something as intricate as revenge? I will believe it when I see it. She is all talk.

    I was in a mom’s group that was much like this. I did a lot of the actual hard labor work. They were fine with that. But, if I tried to run for a higher officer position or have any opinion or say-they became not okay with it. They wanted someone else to do all the hard work while they get the status. It does not work that way or at least should not work that way. If you want the status you have to put in the work. I eventually said “fuck it” to status and work and I don’t give a crap anymore and no longer get involved with that mama drama. None of it was worth it.

    Shannon was just there for drama because she had no reason to be there. These people eat more pizza than anyone else. That is saying a lot too because our family loves some pizza. We buy frozen ones and eat them at home. We don’t go out for pizza like every night like these folks do.

    I feel so bad for Alana. I was just like her. I had the back hand spring down. I could do it by myself well as long as someone was standing there to spot me. Even though they never really even touched me. But the minute I tried it alone, I messed it up. I just could not get over the mental block. I was afraid I would land on my neck and paralyze myself. It is hard to get over that mental block and some people never will. Her mother needs to back off. She just seems to want to do it for fun with no pressure and that is what she should be allowed to do.

  7. 7
    Hater of Coach Nikki Hater of coach nikki
    Posted February 10, 2013 at 6:03 am

    Poor, poor Alana. I feel so sorry for her because of the pressure her mother is putting her under. I just can’t imagine having to live under that all the time.

    I also can’t help myself but get a kick out of Andrea. I think she’s funny and I just love her expressions. Even tho she’s evil.

    I use to like Shannon but was put off by the ending when she met with Ann. What the hell! I thought Shannon had a brain, or at least she talked like she did. Now she’s back with Ann? How can you be friends with someone that ripped on your daughter like Ann did. I was very disappointed.

    Ann, I won’t be your friend unless you stop being friends with Michelle and Shannon. Really? How immature can you be! And these mothers fall for it. Disgusting. Childhood all over again. Why would anyone want to be BFF with Ann anyway? Unless your as as ugly within as she is.

    Yeah team! Congrats on your win! Good job Alisha and RD!

  8. 8
    CTRParent
    Posted February 10, 2013 at 12:15 pm

    Lol Andrea….you really don’t have to try to be a bigger bitch next season, you are a bitch so really using the word “try” seems irrelevant! I do agree though that your husband needs to go on and come out of the closet he’s been in! Kylie has tons of potential but your example for her is disturbing! Maybe you gals should remember that your daughters will be just like you as adults! If that thought doesn’t make you change your attitudes then nothing will! Poor things! On a lighter note….I do enjoy your tenacity!!!

  9. 9
    Madelyne27 Madelyne27
    Posted February 10, 2013 at 3:59 pm

    99% of the people were wrong. And I’m declaring my recaps an emoticon free zone.

  10. 10
    Madelyne27 Madelyne27
    Posted February 10, 2013 at 4:01 pm

    @ellen, you’re right. And I even meant to Google it bc I thought it meant a big age gap, but then figured I could have been wrong… but I forgot to double-check… “is an instance of the romantic involvement of two parties between whom there is a considerable age difference”… So Shannon not only had no business being on the trip, she also had no idea what she was saying.

  11. 11
    April
    Posted February 10, 2013 at 6:28 pm

    LOL Madelyne. I did not see Andrea’s post at first and I was like what is she talking about 99% and emoticons. Then I noticed it. Made me chuckle.

    Andrea if that is you, I like your Kylie. She is very talented and pretty. You can be funny when you are not being bitchy.

  12. 12
    Pinklotus
    Posted February 10, 2013 at 7:51 pm

    I don’t really get all the Andrea hate. Okay. Maybe just a little bit, but I think she at least has some redeeming qualities. I think she’s funny, and she seems to take the drama at the gym the least seriously out of all the moms. Ann is just a straight up bitch, Shannon has shown her true colours as being pretty much the same, and I just can’t stomach the way Bonnie pressures Alana. Michelle seems okay, but she has now twice called people out at really inappropriate times, which kind of bugged me.
    I don’t blame her for taking the president position…Ann was doing a half assed job at best as team mom, so why not?

  13. 13
    Shannon & Brooke
    Posted February 10, 2013 at 8:41 pm

    @Madelyne27 I have truly enjoyed your recaps and hope that you find our next 8 episodes just as interesting/entertaining…all I can say is stick around. Thank you again for your humor and insight.

    Sending good vibes your way – Shannon and Brooke

  14. 14
    April
    Posted February 10, 2013 at 8:46 pm

    I support Andrea on the doing the work that needed to be done. I also get very irritated when people don’t do their freaking job. I don’t blame her for that. I just don’t like her being all gossipy with Ann about everyone. I also felt bad for her husband and kids while they were on the car trip because she was worse than kid with her whining.

    I defend Michelle about the calling people out an inappropriate times because when is an appropriate time you know? If someone needs to be called out, you call them out. Because if you wait for the perfect time that time might never come. Or by then everyone has forgotten what even happened or the moment passed. Obviously you use some discretion. She asked Ann to step outside nicely multiple times and Ann refused because she was scared. Then once all the business was taken care of at the dinner, she brought up her issues. I feel that was discretion. She could have started bitching her out as soon as they sat down at the table.

    Some people just expect people to never air grievances or call out other’s bad behaviors period because oh no we all need to be super shiny happy people and keep it all inside and just seethe on the inside and nothing gets resolved. I do not follow that philosophy. So I guess Michelle and I are similar on that account.

  15. 15
    Pinklotus
    Posted February 10, 2013 at 9:21 pm

    I don’t know, I guess I just don’t see an exhibition where there are several other cheer teams at the gym as an appropriate time. I know she asked her to go outside which is fine, but I just feel like maybe it would have been better to ask her outside on a normal day when it was just CTR at the gym. And at the restaurant, I felt bad for the other people at the table. I probably would have reacted the same way Mandy did. But hey, I think Michelle overall is probably the most reasonable of them all, and I don’t dislike her. Those are just the only things she’s done that I didn’t really agree with. The other ladies have a way longer list. Haha

  16. 16
    CTRParent
    Posted February 11, 2013 at 5:38 am

    I just wanted to say that if some big ass heifer called me a bitch in front of my daughter, or any other child for that matter, you better believe I would call that bitch out right then and there! PERIOD! I don’t care where we are….if you are going to curse in front of children, then you need to be dealt with IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!!!!! I am all for cussing…I love talking like a sailor…but I would NEVER talk that way in front of kids…ever!

  17. 17
    c8h10n4o2
    Posted February 11, 2013 at 10:05 am

    I’m not done yet, but WHY did you have to bring up Hostess cupcakes? I was getting over missing them, and now it all came roaring back.

  18. 18
    Pinklotus
    Posted February 11, 2013 at 2:41 pm

    Alright, fair enough CTRParent. I’ll agree that Ann calling Michelle a bitch in front of her daughter was way inappropriate, and if I think about it, I suppose I would want to confront her about it right away too.

  19. 19
    TurtleGirl93 TurtleGirl93
    Posted February 12, 2013 at 8:52 pm

    Fillings, whoa-oa-oa, fillings…
    Sorry. Most people in Arkansas have “feelings”. Lol. As I’ve said before I have a shop in Sherwood and recently overheard someone talking about her “fillings” being hurt. I really wanted to say that there were several dentists in the area but I refrained myself.
    I have to laugh because there is a Golden Corral nearby and I think they do have a chocolate fountain.

  20. 20
    Tapnfeet99
    Posted February 13, 2013 at 1:31 am

    Laughing like a hyena over the “whore cow” comment. You are effing brilliant Madelyne!

    I, too, was one of those sad cannot go backwards; can only tumble forward kind of kids. I feel her pain. Despite having a gymnast’s body, I was a dancer b/c I had too much fear of falling on my head. As it was, I wound up breaking my foot in dance simply from jumping up from a crouched position to a standing position. So much for playing it safe.

  21. 21
    TurtleGirl93 TurtleGirl93
    Posted February 13, 2013 at 9:46 pm

    @Tappnfeet, I couldn’t go backwards either. I had a killer arial though. I grew bored with gymnastics-probably because I couldn’t spring backwards- and focused on ballet and cheerleading (not competitively though). Then I broke my foot on a stupid trampoline.

    Gossips: allegedly a certain cheer coach dad, whom I shall not name, was recently at Sonic and was loudly berating the oldest daughter. Scuttlebutt is that he’s not as nice as he seems on TV (but the source is connected to his first wife so there may be bias there).

  22. 22
    WerkItSmoochy
    Posted February 14, 2013 at 4:50 pm

    I just have to add that I also like Andrea and Kylie! :) It’s good to know that I’m not completely alone!

  23. 23
    Allstar Cheer/Dance
    Posted February 25, 2013 at 7:45 pm

    So which u.s. finals comp are youth silver attending because I would love to see the girls at the one I will be attending .

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