Commentgasm: Best in Comments 2012: December

Recaps

By RJ | Tuesday, January 1, 2013 | 7:00 am | 17 Comments
Tagged: ,
Posted in: Commentgasm, Recaps

considerthis on “Teen Mom 2”: So you are telling me that Barb was banged twice in her life – WOW go Barb!

NotwithoutmyTV on “Teen Mom 2”: If Kailyn and Forrest Gump opened up a box of chocolates, Forrest would figure out how to read the flavor/filling recognition guide on the inside of the box cover first, and Kailyn would get stuck eating all the orange creams…

JimbobJones on “Top Chef Seattle”: Every time someone wins a car in this show, I crack up when Padma hands them the keys, because it always reminds me of the time Padma fastball-tossed the keys to Sleazabella. Nothing says “you disgust me” as much as keys tossed forty feet through the air.

Liz on “Catfish”: unless there is actual hope of someone being who they said they were, this is just kind of sad and boring. It’s like watching someone realize that Prince in Nigeria they lent money to isn’t real. It’s hard for me to feel very sad for them, because it’s ridiculous, and it’s hard for me to be like “wtf how did you not know” because I am pretty sure even small children are not this gullible, and I’m not surprised that the Prince isn’t the Prince.

Valleygirl on “Catfish”: And also, Jarrod? Seriously son? You go your whole life being friend zoned and then a girl like that starts talking to you??? Reality is your friend, let’s become acquainted to it.

Annie on “Catfish”: Since everyone pointed out what I have been feeling about the show (repetitive, dumb people, makeup horrors) I will just mention the following:

1. Melissa lived in a Tuff-Shed, apparantly located in a Tuff-Shed sales lot

Robin on “Survivor”: Just wondering, Is Christian sex and Missionary sex the same thing? Cuz if it is, I am not interested unless I am tired.

Labowner on “Sin City Rules”: My dad was a famous, powerful hit man and all we gave him was a cheap head stone.

Chicken Lips on “Toddlers and Tiaras”: It’s brats like Ava that make me want to get knocked up so that I’ll be a parent so they won’t be able to say, “Well, you don’t have kids” when I point out what a terrible parenting job they are doing and how their children are unholy beasts.

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RJ
About

I learned I was different in the third grade.  They would bring in our parents as tutors to help with difficult subjects like math, which is a testament to just how underfunded the California school system has always been.  Michael Weber's mother was tutoring me and one of my classmates in multiplication.  I did not care for the speed at which the lesson was progressing. 

I threw out a line from the most classic of movies, 'Back to the Future', when I simply stated "Let's see if these bastards can do 90!"  Michael Weber's mom was not impressed.

Its sad when the peak of your comedic career comes in the third grade, but I've never let that hinder me.  I still plug away at my boring day job while I dream of a day that I can tell the Michael Weber's moms of the world to suck it for not appreciating my sense of humor.

 

17 Comments

  1. 1
    KJN KJN
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 10:17 am

    Holy crap! I didn’t even know you guys did this and I’ve made it twice! I think I started coming on here around January, so I missed last year’s. It’s fun to read comments that I would’ve missed cause I don’t watch that particular show and to re-read the hilarity from ones I remember. It’s even more fun to make the list! Yay!

  2. 2
    Clair Clair
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 12:46 pm

    Apparently I was only funny/interesting twice in 2012… and only in May. I’ll try to do better in 2013.

  3. 3
    georgiababe
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 2:26 pm

    Twice in one recap, a new record! One of my New Year’s resolutions is to be funny AT ALL TIMES this year.

  4. 4
    April
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 2:36 pm

    aww I got one! haha

  5. 5
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 5:34 pm

    I love how my comment about commentgasm wound up in commentgasm. How meta.

    Yay!!! I look forward to this every year. Now, just 11.9 months until the next one!!

  6. 6
    Faye
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 6:47 pm

    I got 2 and a picture!?? My life has meaning. Number 12 on my bucket list (yeah its pretty high on the list dont judge me!) is to make the list at least once a month in any given year.

    Hint – this is my entry for January

  7. 7
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 7:42 pm

    Thanks to all the people that put me in the commentgasm for so many of the months.

    I was so sure I dreamed it I had to go back over it a couple of times. But just in case I updated my list of accomplishments to say “Frequent maker of noted comments seen world wide.”

    (I got the world wide part from the Watch What Crappens episode where @Flipit got asked to be a guest on the Cake Rape Sarah Show)

  8. 8
    lestermaddox
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 8:55 pm

    These are great – but apparently I don’t watch nearly enough trashy tv as I was only funny once this year.

    Congrats to all who made the list(s)! Here’s to an even funnier 2013!

  9. 9
    brzysmom12
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 11:34 pm

    A big O for 12 ?!? I guess all my really funny, snarky, hilarious comments I forgot to post. Happy New Year everyone!

  10. 10
    jerseyj
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 6:04 am

    Wow, December was good to me! I got engaged AND I got a picture of the Zack Attack in commentgasm! :) Also, apparently I was twice as funny this year as I was last year…twice as many of my comments made it. Let’s hope this trend continues in 2013…although with wedding planning I don’t know if I’ll have as much time to watch crappy TV and be snarky :p

  11. 11
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 6:18 am

    Congrats Jersey!!!

  12. 12
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 7:18 am

    Congrats jerseyj! That’s awesome!

  13. 13
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 8:24 am

    Merry Engagement jerseyj!

  14. 14
    jerseyj
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 8:50 am

    Thanks guys! :)

  15. 15
    labowner
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 9:38 am

    Three, three, three times I made it this month. Yeah for me and congrats to you Jersey.

  16. 16
    Pikey578
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 11:30 am

    My kids have always told me that I am not as funny as I think I am. Thanks a lot for making me realize that they are right! Only made the cut once this year. [sob] Will have to try harder in 2013… Congratulations on your engagement, Jerseyj!!

  17. 17
    Chris Velazquez
    Posted January 5, 2013 at 11:20 pm

    Wow, I only managed one in the whole year? I need to start commenting more. Or, you know, actually start watching some shit.

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