Commentgasm: Best in Comments 2012: December

Recaps

By RJ | Tuesday, January 1, 2013 | 7:00 am | 17 Comments
Tagged: ,
Posted in: Commentgasm, Recaps

I hope the intern who had to cover everything in foil at least gets to motorboat Padma as a consolation prize

sheesh on “Commentgasm: May 2012”: I’m trying to remember if I was posting these at work or at home.
I’m praying I was at home because I would have to wonder if I am secretly drinking at work.

sarcasatire on “Commentgasm: May 2012”: I tell ya, nothing is more gratifying than a commentgasm mention. I smile, I cheer, I swell up with pride. I’d take a bow to an empty room but this chair is sooooooooo comfortable

Hops on “Amish Mafia”: Who keeps a desk in a barn? Can’t Levi find a nice house or some place less dusty to run his empire? Nothing says kingpin like “Let’s go in the barn and talk business.” It makes me think of playing pretend as kids.

kthxbai on “RHOM”: This show’s going to win the Guinness world record for being the 1st time nobody’s said they can’t wait for the reunion in Real Housewives history.

georgiababe on “Toddlers and Tiaras”: Roald Dahl was a psychic genius. Seriously. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was written in 1964, but the kids of the world (well, North America mostly) have turned into the brats in that book. Augustus Gloop, the obese glutton, Mike Teavee, the kid who watches way too much television, Violet Beauregard, hyper-competitive and greedy and Veruca Salt, the snot-nosed spoiled brat. Snausage is Augustus and Mike, Faithlyn is Violet and Veruca. Too bad the pageant director didn’t have a garbage chute to chuck Faithlyn and Cooch in. It was a very effective way of dealing with her in the book.

Faye on “Toddlers and Tiaras”: Someone should tell Snausages mother that if your circumference exceeds your height that fat is an acceptable adjective.

vallegirl on “Top Chef: Seattle”: I think we ought to start using the Sheldon-buzz-harshing meter to gauge just how annoying Blowsie is. Because if you’re so loud, obnoxious and up-your-own ass that Sheldon’s sitting there hating his life at that moment, you are, quite possibly, the loudest, most obnoxious and most up your own ass person, ever.

Faye on “Toddlers and Tiaras”: I wonder if FAFF’lyn met Nikki in a hotel lobby masterbating with a magazine? She signed her name on the dotted line, the lights went out and Nikki showed her how to grind? We all know she’ll show ya no mercy but she’ll sho-nuff, sho-nuff show ya how to grind..

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RJ
About

I learned I was different in the third grade.  They would bring in our parents as tutors to help with difficult subjects like math, which is a testament to just how underfunded the California school system has always been.  Michael Weber's mother was tutoring me and one of my classmates in multiplication.  I did not care for the speed at which the lesson was progressing. 

I threw out a line from the most classic of movies, 'Back to the Future', when I simply stated "Let's see if these bastards can do 90!"  Michael Weber's mom was not impressed.

Its sad when the peak of your comedic career comes in the third grade, but I've never let that hinder me.  I still plug away at my boring day job while I dream of a day that I can tell the Michael Weber's moms of the world to suck it for not appreciating my sense of humor.

 

17 Comments

  1. 1
    KJN KJN
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 10:17 am

    Holy crap! I didn’t even know you guys did this and I’ve made it twice! I think I started coming on here around January, so I missed last year’s. It’s fun to read comments that I would’ve missed cause I don’t watch that particular show and to re-read the hilarity from ones I remember. It’s even more fun to make the list! Yay!

  2. 2
    Clair Clair
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 12:46 pm

    Apparently I was only funny/interesting twice in 2012… and only in May. I’ll try to do better in 2013.

  3. 3
    georgiababe
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 2:26 pm

    Twice in one recap, a new record! One of my New Year’s resolutions is to be funny AT ALL TIMES this year.

  4. 4
    April
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 2:36 pm

    aww I got one! haha

  5. 5
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 5:34 pm

    I love how my comment about commentgasm wound up in commentgasm. How meta.

    Yay!!! I look forward to this every year. Now, just 11.9 months until the next one!!

  6. 6
    Faye
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 6:47 pm

    I got 2 and a picture!?? My life has meaning. Number 12 on my bucket list (yeah its pretty high on the list dont judge me!) is to make the list at least once a month in any given year.

    Hint – this is my entry for January

  7. 7
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 7:42 pm

    Thanks to all the people that put me in the commentgasm for so many of the months.

    I was so sure I dreamed it I had to go back over it a couple of times. But just in case I updated my list of accomplishments to say “Frequent maker of noted comments seen world wide.”

    (I got the world wide part from the Watch What Crappens episode where @Flipit got asked to be a guest on the Cake Rape Sarah Show)

  8. 8
    lestermaddox
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 8:55 pm

    These are great – but apparently I don’t watch nearly enough trashy tv as I was only funny once this year.

    Congrats to all who made the list(s)! Here’s to an even funnier 2013!

  9. 9
    brzysmom12
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 11:34 pm

    A big O for 12 ?!? I guess all my really funny, snarky, hilarious comments I forgot to post. Happy New Year everyone!

  10. 10
    jerseyj
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 6:04 am

    Wow, December was good to me! I got engaged AND I got a picture of the Zack Attack in commentgasm! :) Also, apparently I was twice as funny this year as I was last year…twice as many of my comments made it. Let’s hope this trend continues in 2013…although with wedding planning I don’t know if I’ll have as much time to watch crappy TV and be snarky :p

  11. 11
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 6:18 am

    Congrats Jersey!!!

  12. 12
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 7:18 am

    Congrats jerseyj! That’s awesome!

  13. 13
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 8:24 am

    Merry Engagement jerseyj!

  14. 14
    jerseyj
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 8:50 am

    Thanks guys! :)

  15. 15
    labowner
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 9:38 am

    Three, three, three times I made it this month. Yeah for me and congrats to you Jersey.

  16. 16
    Pikey578
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 11:30 am

    My kids have always told me that I am not as funny as I think I am. Thanks a lot for making me realize that they are right! Only made the cut once this year. [sob] Will have to try harder in 2013… Congratulations on your engagement, Jerseyj!!

  17. 17
    Chris Velazquez
    Posted January 5, 2013 at 11:20 pm

    Wow, I only managed one in the whole year? I need to start commenting more. Or, you know, actually start watching some shit.

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