Commentgasm: Best in Comments: August 2012

CynTV on “Big Brother”:Oh – and many, many thanks for the photo of a muscular, wet Jeff. Just the way I like him. With his mouth shut

Happy Holidays!

Circuitmonkey on “Project Runway”: In the Ukraine the living conditions are so horrible apparently you lose the capacity to blink.

Sarcasatire on “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo”: Just snacking on this deer meat I found by the side of the road.

Detinha on “Toddlers & Tiaras”: I see the war on eyebrows still on.

Classy drunk on “Toddlers & Tiaras”: Why is it that everyone thinks that because you are snarky you are fat, uneducated, lonely and bad Christians? Why don’t they ever factor in that we are drunk too? I really take offense to that.

Pat Ledoux on “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo”: I can’t get past Crusty showing her neck dirt.

Jason on “Caroline Manzo Signs A Book Deal”: “Let Me Tell You Something” – a book by Caroline Manzo on how to raise 3 superachievers, and to mind one’s own business.

JudgyWudgy on “The Real World”: Nah, Puck is still alive and well….. beatin’ his wife, ya know, the usual.

Cosmonala on “Ryan Lochte Wants A Lot of $$$ To Be The Next Bachelor”: Never has the phrase, “Shhh, honey, don’t talk. You’re not here for that”, been more applicable.

Albert the Alligator weeps.

CynTV on “True Blood”: They need to get back to the naked men. Seriously. And I DON’T mean Russell. (Ew.)

SuburBint on “Tonight’s Top 10 Shows”: I watch Deep Blue Sea far more often than a (relatively) sane grown woman ought to, just to watch him get revenge for his parrot. *happy sigh*

Whedonite on “Grimm”: Birds have sex in the pretty standard way most animals do, with the male somewhat on top/behind. Goose sex is overly complicated because, to prevent the crazy amounts of rape amongst geese (it’s seriously high), the females have developed complex, tunneling vaginal entries while the males have, in competitive adaptation, developed corkscrew penises. As far as reproduction, the eggs are fertilized internally, then the female lays and incubates the fertilized eggs. There, I answered your bird sex questions. Got any more pics of Renard shirtless?

LAC on “Caroline Manzo Signs A Book Deal”: What is this masterpiece going to be called? “Head Cock 101: How to raise children who never leave” or “Fambly: who is real and who is GAAAAARBAGE!”

Sheesh on “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo”: This was a comment war??? I’m outta here. I NEVER participate in those.

Roger on “Top Chef Masters”: Art’s pants at the sushi joint looked like some kind of sadistic chastity girdle

Hot cawfee on “Snooki Gave Birth”: Did she think labor was actually a UTI??????????

Jimbob Jones on “Snooki Gave Birth”: Snooki gave birth? I was wondering why there were so many frogs and locusts around.

Snowshoecat on “Tonight’s Top 10 Shows”: Wow. Wouldn’t touch this one with a pole. Or a Hungarian.