Commentgasm: Best In Comments: March 2012

Recaps

By CynTV | Wednesday, December 19, 2012 | 7:00 am | 15 Comments
Tagged: , , , ,
Posted in: Commentgasm, Recaps

SuburBint on Jersey Shore: This show left anything remotely close to “reality” about five minutes into the first season, when the MTV/495 execs realized the gold mine they had unwittingly stumbled upon, offered up burnt sacrifices and libations to the casting gods, and leaned back in their Italian leather desk chairs, watching the numbers climb in their Swiss bank accounts.

Bluzgirl on The Walking Dead: This was a great episode and as always, a stellar recap. Your Boy Scouts story was hilarious. Do you get a badge for executions too? HAHA.

Maryedith on the Walking Dead: Boy, going atheist sure turns a nice kid into a little shit, doesn’t it?

Pegster on Dance Moms: My favorite part of this episode was the previews for next week, when Crabby throws Holly OUT, presumably for being the only mature adult in the room.

Brneyedgrrl on Dance Moms: Could they disqualify someone from a fake competition? Is that like getting fired from your volunteer position?

Snowshoecat on Storage Wars: Oh Cath… Why are “tank-top-loving, hairy shouldered” men always on display? That is one reason Minnesota is ideal in the winter.

NotWithoutMyTV on The Bachelor: When they were first creating this show, a trained orangutan was supposed to deliver the date cards, and to amble into the room and hold up a sign when there was only one rose left. If the bachelor was having “a tough time deciding between all these great girls that he’s in love with”, he could sit down for a heart-to-heart with the orangutan, who would show his teeth or cover his head with his arms or do other adorable reaction shots. However, Chris Harrison agreed to work cheaper than the Orangutan, and that’s how we got our current fearless host.

Kitwild on Celebrity Apprentice: This is by far the best recap of Celeb App on the net. FUNNNEEEE! We Claymates are enjoying the comments and the pics beyond your wildest dreams. Keep it up! [Just don't poke too much fun at our guy, hear!] Editor’s note: Is this you, Kathy Griffin?

Matisyahu Serious on American Idol: One positive thing you can say about Shannon’s singing – she’s really tall. Joy-Subtraction on Ru-Paul’s Drag Race: What’s with Phi Phi serving up Menudo realness in the interviews with that 80s white collared, striped Polo-style shirt and the lame white hat stuck to the back of her head? It’s almost as ugly as her personality.

Cherie on Bad Girls Club: I cannot wait until the Twats get jumped. I usually try not to see anything ahead of time but sources on here say it’s gonna happen and my ass will have popcorn and vodka ready when it does. Cause I’m classy like that.

Mere2142 on Jersey Shore: I love how you compare Mike’s strategy sessions in the diary room as having the same intensity of D Day. Jionni stayed with Nicole when she banged Vinny 3 minutes after they broke up in Italy. Does he really think this will ruin their relationship??

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CynTV
About

In the immortal words of No Doubt: I'm just a girl. I'm just a girl in the world. Hopefully. There's nothing I like better than mixing a fine cosmo, putting my feet up and laughing my ass off reading a Tvgasm recap. The reality is that the cosmo is actually a grape Kool Aid - but the rest of it is true!!

15 Comments

  1. 1
    georgiababe
    Posted December 19, 2012 at 7:20 am

    Oh dear, I’m 1/3 for being hilarious. It’s quite clear to me what the problem is: I don’t watch enough trashy television. I know what I must do.

  2. 2
    Parisi LaRoe Parisi LaRoe
    Posted December 19, 2012 at 7:22 am

    I made it! HOORAY!!!! This was the month that my ex-husband and I separated so I totally forgot I wrote that and it feels like a lifetime ago. I feel proud.

    Holla!

  3. 3
    Dashley Dashley
    Posted December 19, 2012 at 8:39 am

    Wow. I think I didn’t discover this site til after March, because I gotta tell you – I would have remembered those Bachelor finale comments. Sheesh. Not to say I don’t completely agree, though! Ben was a douche, man – I guess I managed to block out the memory of his douchiness until now.

  4. 4
    hot cawfee
    Posted December 19, 2012 at 9:27 am

    wow–and another knod!!!!! Thanks CynTV—-am going to work hard to keep up the good snark!!!!!

  5. 5
    LAC LAC
    Posted December 19, 2012 at 9:35 am

    OMG – the new commentgasm is here, the new commentgasm is here! I am somebody!

    God, we got some funny snark here. I needed this after two days on my back with a miserable cold.

  6. 6
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted December 19, 2012 at 11:15 am

    I am just so happy to gave Commentgasm back. Reading all the great lines is like having Christmas right now in…

    Oh wait. It’s December. Well, it’s like having Christmas.

    Even though we actually are having Christmas…

    I mean it’s…

    Nevermind.

  7. 7
    captain save-uh-hoe
    Posted December 19, 2012 at 11:27 am

    I must have been sober during the first few months of this year! And dude, why did I just have to watch a 25 seconce crest commerical to get the security code? I use Colgate, dammit!

  8. 8
    annie annie
    Posted December 19, 2012 at 11:45 am

    Woo hoo! I made it :)

    These are great comments Gasmi! We are a funny, snarky, and awesome bunch for sure

  9. 9
    CynTV CynTV
    Posted December 19, 2012 at 11:46 am

    @Parisi – I’m also finishing up October (way to slide in under the gun she says to self), and I think you’re in that month too. Hope you’re doing well.
    @snowshoecat – I agree. Love, love reading everyone’s comments!
    @hot cawfee – Aw thanks. I needed that. I managed to get the flu over the last weekend after feeling crappy for 2 weeks. Thank God that’s mostly over and done with. Now if someone will recap my meager LATC recaps…

  10. 10
    mere2142
    Posted December 19, 2012 at 1:11 pm

    I love reliving all of these comments! And I finally made it in though I don’t remember saying that…oh well!

  11. 11
    Parisi LaRoe Parisi LaRoe
    Posted December 19, 2012 at 3:06 pm

    @Cyn-Thank you hun. As long as I make someone laugh, I feel better. Or when I take a few of my pain pills. Either way, I feel better!

  12. 12
    labowner
    Posted December 19, 2012 at 3:44 pm

    Sure it was a cold that had you on your back LAC :)

  13. 13
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted December 19, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    Totally agree @LAC! Last year I had just started visiting the site and I’ve been patiently waiting a year for Commentgasm lol. Yay!

    Thanks, @CynTV!! I feel like somebody now, too :-)

  14. 14
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted December 19, 2012 at 7:35 pm

    Thanks @CynTV, for including me 3 times! :-) I could make fun of GG and Colton all day!

  15. 15
    maryedith
    Posted December 20, 2012 at 4:01 pm

    Wow, I was really angry at The Walking Dead back then. That show did a total 180! Thanks for noticing me, Cyn.

    @Captain, my code is always about Dish, which I would never, ever trade DirecTV for.

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