Commentgasm: Best In Comments: March 2012

Recaps

By CynTV | Wednesday, December 19, 2012 | 7:00 am | 15 Comments
Tagged: , , , ,
Posted in: Commentgasm, Recaps

Maryedith on Dance Moms: Actually, I don’t think other reality shows are as fake as this one. If they are, they are covering up way better. I don’t think I’m going to see Jill Zarin and Bethenny Frankel walking hand in hand down the street any time soon, for instance. I think the parents on Toddlers and Tiaras really give a shit whether their kids win those pageants, and I think the pageants really do occur. Dance Moms goes beyond the usual editing manipulation to the point where it’s not possible to discuss it without feeling like a tool. I might as well watch WWF.

NikkiHughes on Bethenny Ever After: “Next week: They’re stuck on the boat, soooo… very suspenseful, Bravo.” – hahahahhaa

Maryedith on The Walking Dead: Although I love Mad Men, when I see the ads for it I think, “You bastards took my zombie budget!” If you give your budget to one show it will take your network down, no matter how popular it is. Just like The Sopranos.

Featherhead on Survivor One World: Is it wrong that when Dolton had the ball during the challenge that I was screaming at the TV – “Drown him, Drown him!!!!”??

Derek Hazelton on Survivor: When Alicia and Colton were forming the new alliance, my brother (who doesn’t watch Survivor) came into the room and asked me, “Who is the sinister homo and the girl with the saggy tits?”

Notwithoutmytv on Once Upon A Time: So Red is a werewolf–is that the explanation why she always dresses like she’s going straight to ComiCon from work? (I’m not complaining, mind you–Red gives Emma a run for her money in the dreamy department, but dressing like a $2 whore while taking orders for the Hungry Lumberjack Breakfast Platter makes people wonder…)

Itchy on American Idol: Methinks American Idol would get more love here if they changed into a Real Housewives singing competition.

LAC on Top Chef Reunion: ….Oh, Hag, if I tell you to go fart yourself into oblivion, would that be a death threat? Yes, it is stressful and tiring competition, but being a cooze and carrying a grudge through several episodes is not the way to go. And the “I keeps it real” meme of the reality show participant is about as tiresome as “I’m not here to make friends”

NikkiHughes on The Amazing Race: I actually *honestly* feel like people watching TAR that don’t know Boofles are being cheated. They REALLY should know them from BB. It makes it SO much better! We’re awesome! – Wait, why are you being mean to me?! (fake cry – fake cry) – I quit! – Baby don’t quit! – You’re so mean! – I’m sorry! – We suck – (then they/she wins) – WHOO HOO, we’re awesome – I love you SO much! UGH

LAC on Million Dollar Listing New York: Ryan is such like douche that he should sue Massengil for copyright infringement. And that “date” with tits McTrainer was nauseating. You know that afterwards, they will lie there, her hoping her fake orgasm past muster and him checking to see if his arm hair grows back. I still do not envy him dealing with that pack rat. There are some issues there that therapy and thorazine might need to address.

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CynTV
About

In the immortal words of No Doubt: I'm just a girl. I'm just a girl in the world. Hopefully. There's nothing I like better than mixing a fine cosmo, putting my feet up and laughing my ass off reading a Tvgasm recap. The reality is that the cosmo is actually a grape Kool Aid - but the rest of it is true!!

15 Comments

  1. 1
    georgiababe
    Posted December 19, 2012 at 7:20 am

    Oh dear, I’m 1/3 for being hilarious. It’s quite clear to me what the problem is: I don’t watch enough trashy television. I know what I must do.

  2. 2
    Parisi LaRoe Parisi LaRoe
    Posted December 19, 2012 at 7:22 am

    I made it! HOORAY!!!! This was the month that my ex-husband and I separated so I totally forgot I wrote that and it feels like a lifetime ago. I feel proud.

    Holla!

  3. 3
    Dashley Dashley
    Posted December 19, 2012 at 8:39 am

    Wow. I think I didn’t discover this site til after March, because I gotta tell you – I would have remembered those Bachelor finale comments. Sheesh. Not to say I don’t completely agree, though! Ben was a douche, man – I guess I managed to block out the memory of his douchiness until now.

  4. 4
    hot cawfee
    Posted December 19, 2012 at 9:27 am

    wow–and another knod!!!!! Thanks CynTV—-am going to work hard to keep up the good snark!!!!!

  5. 5
    LAC LAC
    Posted December 19, 2012 at 9:35 am

    OMG – the new commentgasm is here, the new commentgasm is here! I am somebody!

    God, we got some funny snark here. I needed this after two days on my back with a miserable cold.

  6. 6
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted December 19, 2012 at 11:15 am

    I am just so happy to gave Commentgasm back. Reading all the great lines is like having Christmas right now in…

    Oh wait. It’s December. Well, it’s like having Christmas.

    Even though we actually are having Christmas…

    I mean it’s…

    Nevermind.

  7. 7
    captain save-uh-hoe
    Posted December 19, 2012 at 11:27 am

    I must have been sober during the first few months of this year! And dude, why did I just have to watch a 25 seconce crest commerical to get the security code? I use Colgate, dammit!

  8. 8
    annie annie
    Posted December 19, 2012 at 11:45 am

    Woo hoo! I made it :)

    These are great comments Gasmi! We are a funny, snarky, and awesome bunch for sure

  9. 9
    CynTV CynTV
    Posted December 19, 2012 at 11:46 am

    @Parisi – I’m also finishing up October (way to slide in under the gun she says to self), and I think you’re in that month too. Hope you’re doing well.
    @snowshoecat – I agree. Love, love reading everyone’s comments!
    @hot cawfee – Aw thanks. I needed that. I managed to get the flu over the last weekend after feeling crappy for 2 weeks. Thank God that’s mostly over and done with. Now if someone will recap my meager LATC recaps…

  10. 10
    mere2142
    Posted December 19, 2012 at 1:11 pm

    I love reliving all of these comments! And I finally made it in though I don’t remember saying that…oh well!

  11. 11
    Parisi LaRoe Parisi LaRoe
    Posted December 19, 2012 at 3:06 pm

    @Cyn-Thank you hun. As long as I make someone laugh, I feel better. Or when I take a few of my pain pills. Either way, I feel better!

  12. 12
    labowner
    Posted December 19, 2012 at 3:44 pm

    Sure it was a cold that had you on your back LAC :)

  13. 13
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted December 19, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    Totally agree @LAC! Last year I had just started visiting the site and I’ve been patiently waiting a year for Commentgasm lol. Yay!

    Thanks, @CynTV!! I feel like somebody now, too :-)

  14. 14
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted December 19, 2012 at 7:35 pm

    Thanks @CynTV, for including me 3 times! :-) I could make fun of GG and Colton all day!

  15. 15
    maryedith
    Posted December 20, 2012 at 4:01 pm

    Wow, I was really angry at The Walking Dead back then. That show did a total 180! Thanks for noticing me, Cyn.

    @Captain, my code is always about Dish, which I would never, ever trade DirecTV for.

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