Commentgasm: February 2012

Recaps

By BelowSeaLevel | Tuesday, December 18, 2012 | 7:00 am | 11 Comments
Tagged: , , , , ,
Posted in: Commentgasm, Recaps

sarcasatire on “Real Housewives of Atlanta”:  “(Yes, you can hold her. But keep your titties to yourself.)”

notwithoutmytv on “Real Housewives of Atlanta”:  “Phaedra has one of those faces that you can pause the show at any point while she’s on the screen and her expression will be that of a Australopithecus trying to figure out an iPad.

Speaking of trendy and Chinese babies–look for my new line of customized stick family decals for the back window of your Family Truckster. Now you need not feel left out of the Nuclear Family Celebration! Choose from Frazzled Working Mom/Unemployed Dad in Easy Chair/Boy and Girl with Anxiety Problems; Two Daddys with Adopted Chinese Baby; Two Mommies with Dolphin-shaped Dildo; Shut-in Lady with 32 Cats; Furry Dad and Dominatrix Mom; or Yoga Mommy/Fisherman Daddy/Soccer Daughter/Asperger’s Son.”

notwithoutmytv on “Survivor”:  “Morals and Standards ix-nayed the beauty shot they had of pubic lice.”

snowshoecat on “Dance Moms”:  “Ugh. Terrible to sign on and have Jabby’s fugly face the first thing I see. Especially first thing in the morning. Before my coffee. *shudder*”

Buffy on “Jersey Shore”:  “@snowshoecat -”imma fraid” ah haha

OMG!!!! “sharp! SHARK? SHARP! SHARK??!!! SHARK!!!!” OMG!!! i DIED!!! i cannot tell you how many times i rewound that, how many tears i wiped from my eyes, or how long my stomach hurt from laughing at that. I CAN tell you this: That one scene made all the DTF’s, all the UTI’s, all the releasing of bodily fluids in entirely inappropriate places, all of the unwashed meatballs, and all of the (unspoken)STD’s of this season worthwhile.”

Guy on “Glee”:  “Then the raping begins? Really, raping? I’m sure you meant rapping. At least I hope you meant rapping. Spell-check is a product of the devil.”

TotesWannaBe on “The Amazing Race”:  “OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG……I’ve never commented on these recaps because 1) I’m shy and 2) I’m not clever enough. But I was so excited to see that my most favorite annoying as monkey poo couple from BB is now on the AR, I just hadta. Love, love your recaps, and congrats on being preggers! I’m at home with the flu, and this made me laugh so hard I started coughing and had to take my Nyquil with vodka and red bull. Well done and I can’t wait to see the rest! <3″

cloudsinmycoffee on “Real Housewives of OC”:  “I think that Vicki must be having fits knowing that her bestie is making nice nice with Gretchen. I’m tired of Vicki and her shit and watching her on screen is like watching the episode of the Twilight Zone where all the freakish looking people are normal and the beautiful people are the oddities.
I can’t stand Heather, she seems like she’s trying so hard to seem upright and the faux rich woman etiquette is really getting old. She’s pretending she’s an Astor. Bitch please. You were an actress who’s vajayjay happened to catch a doctor in its nets and now that you’ve popped out four babies he’s stuck. His stupid jokes are hilarious to me, she needs to pull out the golden rod that’s stuck up her ass and relax herself. Heffa ass heffa.
And is Tamra aging badly or what? The wrinkles in the corners of her eyes make her look evil, and her chiclet tooth having man is annoying me too. He’s not cute anymore, as if the color he had last season is being drained by the kiss of the spider woman.
Alexis, pfft.”

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Living in New Orleans, it helps to be a good swimmer.  

 

 

 

11 Comments

  1. 1
    jerseyj
    Posted December 18, 2012 at 7:11 am

    You love me! You really love me! I’d like to thank the members of the academy and the cast of jersey shore for the plethora of STD jokes :) Also, my elementary school history teacher for imparting upon me the knowledge that Native Americans were largely wiped out by smallpox infested blankets. But…mostly the STD jokes :p

  2. 2
    dear crabby
    Posted December 18, 2012 at 7:41 am

    “Australopithecus trying to figure out an iPad.” – totally brilliant!

  3. 3
    plockness monster plockness monster
    Posted December 18, 2012 at 7:46 am

    I think it’s safe to say that there could be an entire Commentgasm dedicated to the musings of notwithoutmytv. You, my friend, are a comic genius.

  4. 4
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted December 18, 2012 at 8:05 am

    ^Truth.

  5. 5
    JimbobJones
    Posted December 18, 2012 at 8:18 am

    Man, I hope my comments get better later in the year. I got one in each month, but I’m a bit disappointed in the quality of them.

    A lot of these are comedy GOLD though.

  6. 6
    labowner
    Posted December 18, 2012 at 9:58 am

    Oh my gawd. I made it twice this month. Yeah. Thank you to all my muses. Everyone clap with me “Hercules, Hercules, Hercules”. Or jump around with me ala Tracy Flick – best movie evah.

    Heads up – the page goes screwy on 7 and 8.

  7. 7
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted December 18, 2012 at 11:26 am

    Excellent job Gasmii. Way to smark out way into infamy!

  8. 8
    April
    Posted December 18, 2012 at 2:04 pm

    aww good job guys. I gotta try harder next year to get on there!

  9. 9
    labowner
    Posted December 18, 2012 at 2:17 pm

    April you still have 10 months of comments to go. You may make it.

  10. 10
    JimbobJones
    Posted December 18, 2012 at 3:54 pm

    *I meant each month *so far*. I figure I made enough funny, stupid, stupid, stupid comments to get in a few more times, but not all 12.

  11. 11
    hot cawfee
    Posted December 19, 2012 at 9:13 am

    Hey— There’s me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you very much!!!!!!!!!!!

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Human Verification: In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.