Commentgasm: February 2012

Recaps

By BelowSeaLevel | Tuesday, December 18, 2012 | 7:00 am | 11 Comments
Tagged: , , , , ,
Posted in: Commentgasm, Recaps

notwithoutmytv on “Real Housewives of OC”:  “They should biopsy Vicki’s lumpy potato head. Because that thing fairly screams “malignant”.”

sheesh on “Real Housewives of OC”:  “You’d have to put her head in a vice first.
That thing shakes like a dog shitting razorblades.”

caligal on “Project Runway”:  “Kenley’s dress looked like something at a Forever 21 reject sale. Mondo’s dress was definitely the best. Chunk made his model look fat, and Miss Scarlet should be thankful that hot mess of a dress didn’t get his ass sent back to Tara. Finally, why, why, why, why, WHY GOD is Hobo still on this show????!!!!!”

LAC on “Project Runway”:  “Flipit, bless you for another great recap. Gotta disagree with you on the bras. After watching RHOA and foot long boobs in other real housewives franchises, me likes the bra.

Joanna’s pants were hideous and not flattering on her whatsoever.

Mondo was the best of the lot. He is doing little wooden boys proud.

Oh, gee, did Kenley make another polka dot dress with ruffles coming out of it? And did she cackle and snort on the workroom floor again? It is like Groundhog’s day in hell with that one.

So Hobo throws up some fabric, tosses a crown on top of it, and he lives to see another challenge? I was not a fan of mopey Mila, but even I could see that hot glue gun mess of Hobo’s was not a winner.

Chunk didn’t cry or make Lillian Gish movie faces, but at least Austin was back on track with his gayer than Christmas self.”

cattyfan on “Celebrity Apprentice”:  “Before I read the recap (to which I’m looking forward,) I just wanted to comment on the dress Cheryl Tiegs wore in the boardroom. I wore that very same dress in a fashion show three years ago. I hated it. The silver fabric with the runching made me feel like a fancy baked potato.”

crankyguy on “Celebrity Apprentice”:  “‘We shuold give more credits to people like DG, even when you could not like her music,’

We should? Well, okay, if you say so. All praise and power and glory to Debbie Gibson. How’s that?”

Antsuck on “Survivor”:  “I noticed that you refrained from mentioning that the episode contained gratuitous footage of Tarzan in a speedo.”

k-bex on “Teen Mom”:  “Dr. Drouche reminds me of a mormon cult leader “the boys can’t help themselves, it’s your job as evil, tantalizinggirls to hide your goodies. now say sorry for having a venus flytrap down there””

kthxbai on “Teen Mom”:  “Kail better apologize! Because of her Jo has to live at his rich parent’s fancy house spending their $ and playing rapper in the studio.

While her lazy ass gets to work a job, pay bills, go to school AND change diapers.

As if stealing his sperm and his childhood wasn’t enough, after that the greedy bitch stole his STD too”

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Living in New Orleans, it helps to be a good swimmer.  

 

 

 

11 Comments

  1. 1
    jerseyj
    Posted December 18, 2012 at 7:11 am

    You love me! You really love me! I’d like to thank the members of the academy and the cast of jersey shore for the plethora of STD jokes :) Also, my elementary school history teacher for imparting upon me the knowledge that Native Americans were largely wiped out by smallpox infested blankets. But…mostly the STD jokes :p

  2. 2
    dear crabby
    Posted December 18, 2012 at 7:41 am

    “Australopithecus trying to figure out an iPad.” – totally brilliant!

  3. 3
    plockness monster plockness monster
    Posted December 18, 2012 at 7:46 am

    I think it’s safe to say that there could be an entire Commentgasm dedicated to the musings of notwithoutmytv. You, my friend, are a comic genius.

  4. 4
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted December 18, 2012 at 8:05 am

    ^Truth.

  5. 5
    JimbobJones
    Posted December 18, 2012 at 8:18 am

    Man, I hope my comments get better later in the year. I got one in each month, but I’m a bit disappointed in the quality of them.

    A lot of these are comedy GOLD though.

  6. 6
    labowner
    Posted December 18, 2012 at 9:58 am

    Oh my gawd. I made it twice this month. Yeah. Thank you to all my muses. Everyone clap with me “Hercules, Hercules, Hercules”. Or jump around with me ala Tracy Flick – best movie evah.

    Heads up – the page goes screwy on 7 and 8.

  7. 7
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted December 18, 2012 at 11:26 am

    Excellent job Gasmii. Way to smark out way into infamy!

  8. 8
    April
    Posted December 18, 2012 at 2:04 pm

    aww good job guys. I gotta try harder next year to get on there!

  9. 9
    labowner
    Posted December 18, 2012 at 2:17 pm

    April you still have 10 months of comments to go. You may make it.

  10. 10
    JimbobJones
    Posted December 18, 2012 at 3:54 pm

    *I meant each month *so far*. I figure I made enough funny, stupid, stupid, stupid comments to get in a few more times, but not all 12.

  11. 11
    hot cawfee
    Posted December 19, 2012 at 9:13 am

    Hey— There’s me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you very much!!!!!!!!!!!

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