Hello there Gasmii, and welcome to our first official session of TVGasm Therapy, pull up a chair and let’s unpack this, shall we?
Now, I, like you, get much enjoyment out of watching trainwreck television. It makes me feel better about my life, it really does. I am all about the schadenfreude and watching stupid people get their comeuppance and act a fool. Then, when I yell at some idiot in traffic I can think to myself, well at least I didn’t pull her wig off and make a scene like Sheree and Nene. You hear where I’m coming from?
So, anyway, this recap I’d really like to encourage you to just let go, and fully embrace the experience. And when I say “embrace the experience,” what I really mean is tear Courtney and Doug a new one. Let’s face it, these two bottomfeeders came on this show to get on tv, end of story. They are hoping to parlay this tv appearance into a reality show about how Courtney is “misunderstood,” but I think we all understand her very well. She’s an attention-whore, who is 17 and married to an old delusional has-been who no one will hire now that he’s been labeled a borderline pedophile. And I think we can all happily watch this and know that if Spencer and Heidi didn’t ever get their own show (besides the one they hijacked), these two numnuts won’t get theirs either. But I could be wrong – right Kardashians?
Oh, and I would like to thank you all so much for your comments and research – who knew Phaedra and TooShort were together back in the day? That’s AWESOME gossip! I can’t say I’m not surprised, she loves telling everyone how she represents rap stars. FWB should take Phaedra’s lead and just kick him to the curb and find herself a gorgeous ex-con to impregnate her just like our lovely Phae. You listening FWB?
I could editorialize all day, but you didn’t come here for that did you? I didn’t think so. Let’s tear these asshats apart so we can feel better about ourselves, shall we? Self-esteen repair, activate!
The show opens with our lovely Doc, who is endearing herself to me so very much. She is taking Whoreteny shopping to see if she can make her wardrobe a little less stripper, and point it towards just “slutty.” I love this segment, because it’s kind of like that movie Nell, where Jodi Foster lived in the woods and made up her own language? Our little Court kind of babbles on and on – makes no sense, and creates her own societal rules. You know where she found those rules? Old Testament: Sodom and Gomorrah. Unfortunately she doesn’t turn to salt, because she’s already 100% plastic.
Doc says she wants: no midriff, no boobs coming out, and no underwear showing.
Courtney’s response? She finds it fascinating about how her desire to be different affects other people. So she’ll “Cover up my boobies and see if it helps ‘their marriage.’”