Couples Therapy Recap: Finale Time! Weddings, breakups, and nudity

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By eyediosmio | Saturday, December 8, 2012 | 10:00 am | 14 Comments
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So, here we are Gasmii.  The Finale.  Now, I could give you a long list of reason swhy this recap is so late, but I don’t think that does anyone any good.  Okay, I was on vacation.  So let’s get started!  We’ve got a lot of crazy ass ground to cover!

The show opens where it left off, with Tiny and Jojo and their heated conversation with Dr. Jenn.  It is so ugly, and so honest and now that we know what the final outcome is for these two, I am so happy for Tiny.  But it still makes me sad. 

Anyway, she says to Jojo “fuck the camers, fuck all this shit, I’m tired of it.”  Basically, they’ve both been holding back really addressing his alcoholism even though that is the main reason for all the strife in their relationship.

Tiny drops the ultimatum:  The drinks or me.  We all know what he eventually chooses, don’t we Gasmii?

Ugh.  Jojo basically tells Tiny to get gone.  He tells her that it’s her decision and she needs to make it.  He is such a jerk, he is totally manipulating her by not accepting any responsibility for his participation in the destruction of his marriage through his abuse of alcohol.  Instead, he attempts to manipulate Tiny by putting all the blame on her.  It’s gross, and textbook.

Jojo could give a shit, unless you serve it to him a glass, over ice with vodka and a twist of lime, thank you.

Tiny tells Jojo it’s about more than their marriage – it’s about his life.   He’s basically immovable, giving her the stink eye and not backing down.  It’s a very ugly situation, and I’m uncomfortable watching it all go down.

Hey baby.  You know I love you, almost as much as the vodka.  Almost. 

Then the two of them get to their room alone and Jojo apologizes, kind of.  He says he had to be “hard” because of the cameras and that he doesn’t really want Tiny to leave him.  What an a-hole. 

He keeps saying he’s “Gonna Try,” But we all know that means.  By saying “try” he never as to “succeed.” 

Tiny interviews that she’s happy because Jojo finally agrees to go to AA, but we all know that doesn’t happen.  And you guys?  I am so sad for her. Tiny, if I ever see you I am going to give you a big hug.  So if a giant white girl embraces you in Florida, don’t be afraid.   Just a head’s up. 

Anyway, our next couple to address during this finale is Courtney and Doug.  But this time it will be a threesome.  You see, Dr. J has invited Krista the overbearing opportunistic Momager back for a final session.  I have my doubts that this is to help Courtney, but really to satisfy the good Doc’s (and our) morbid curiosity. 

And if any of you had any doubts about the friggin weird-ass, disgusting love triangle that is afoot here, let this screencap just speak for itself:

Does anyone else get a weird Flowers in the Attic vibe off these two?

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eyediosmio

I'm a part time writer, full time wife and Doberman wrangler in steamy South Florida.  I try to keep my sanity by watching loads of reality tv so I can feel better about myself.  It's a lazy way to maintain my moral compass, but I'm too lazy to drive to church every Sunday. 

14 Comments

  1. 1
    Holyterror
    Posted December 8, 2012 at 2:30 pm

    Krista always looks like she’s about to barf, and is just trying to cover the fact that she has an egg-sucking hangover ( and terminal frizzies) by talking a lot and smiling and kissing everyone. \Seeming fine,\ in short.

  2. 2
    Holyterror
    Posted December 8, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    I didn’t get the clown joke either.

  3. 3
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted December 8, 2012 at 2:55 pm

    Awww, we’re gonna miss you! Any future recapping in the works?

    I totes agree with your theories on what happens to the couples. The only thing I disagree with (and I think it’s just me) is that interest in Dourteny is waning…I *still* can’t get enough of these two trainwrecks. Yes, I am pathetic, but dammit they’re such enterTAINing trainwrecks!

  4. 4
    thespiral
    Posted December 8, 2012 at 7:24 pm

    I heard (and I think Nik confirmed on his website) Courtney’s parents separated because of the Doug issue – specifically, Krista was infatuated with Doug and something weird happened with them, and the dad freaked out and disengaged from the whole bizarre situation. Which makes it even creepier, because it means Krista wanted Doug but couldn’t have him because of her marriage and supposed “Christian” values, so instead she used her minor child as bait to lure him in. If any of that is even close to the truth, it’s SICK. But it does ring true after watching them all interact on the show.

    Tiny made the right decision leaving Jojo, as sad as it is. Because the man is married to the bottle, and unfortunately it looks like it may be ’til death do them part. And I wouldn’t be able to bear watching someone I loved go out like that either.

  5. 5
    darlingclementine
    Posted December 8, 2012 at 9:50 pm

    I was CRACKING UP at the parts about Courtney and her nude modeling in classy poses, way too funny! Great job recapper.

    I wonder if Courtney still talks to her dad or anything. I know he was ok with it at the beginning (guessing Krista did some major convincing) but after he snapped out of it and divorced the lady I wonder how that works. I cant imagine a father just being able to put what is going on with courtney out of his mind.

  6. 6
    Lizbot
    Posted December 9, 2012 at 7:49 am

    Call me judgy, but I’m going to guess that any man who picks Krista as a life-mate is not going to have the best skills or judgement when it comes to being a parent himself. He obviously stood by and allowed Krista to turn their teenaged daughter into a sex-bot without interfering (and you have to wonder how much he may have participated, gross as that might be), so I’m not really buying into any outrage that he might currently be feigning.

  7. 7
    Linda
    Posted December 9, 2012 at 11:31 pm

    Here’s my problem with Nik: He reminds me of every guy (OK, one guy in particular) who was clearly a rat, but a very charming, likeable rat, to the extent that everybody (me included) bent over backward to overlook or excuse really bad/borderline sociopathic behavior and instead justify the ratness with \underneath everything he has a really good heart\ and \he just needs the right woman to bring out the good person he is deep down\ and blah de blah blah and you know what? No. There is no such person. He is what he is, and no amount of support and love will turn a rat into a human being. I don’t know about Nik specifically; I’m just sayin, this all seems very familiar. But about Nik specifically? Here’s a guy who makes most of his living off a heinous website that encourages the public humiliation/degradation of women (most of whom are private citizens) and who is happy to justify that with \well, you shouldn’t have gotten drunk/gone out of your house in that outfit/gotten old/let your fiance take that picture of you/etc., and yet women still really want to believe that deep down he’s this great guy. Be wary of likeable rats, is all I’m saying.

  8. 8
    considerthis
    Posted December 10, 2012 at 7:06 am

    Couldn’t disagree more with the Doug/Mommy reunion. Firmly believe that Doug had that entire conversation with a dial tone. WAAAY 2 overacted on Doug’s part and he can overact with the best of them. She didn’t want to be recorded or he never asked because she probably told to go Fuck himself in the first 10 seconds of hearing his voice.

    I think Dr. Jenn bit of way more than she could chew with Dourtney. Since the only “progress” she could make with Court was to show where her fucked up persona started – not fix it mind you by inviting Krista to join the sideshow freaks. So she and the producers set their sites on at least helping Dougie mend a fence or two and when that failed they staged a phone call to keep the shows “reputation” as well as Dr. Jenn’s in tact.

    While forgiveness is a good thing – it might just be too soon for Mamma Doug. I also think Doug’s “I did NOTHING wrong – I got her parents blessing” attitude might delay the healing with his mother. If Doug could just say “Mom, listen I know this is crazy – here’s my number – call me maybe” it might work better – some contriction on his end would go miles.

  9. 9
    eyediosmio eyediosmio
    Posted December 10, 2012 at 7:15 am

    @AmyOops: I’ll be back I’m sure, no future shows as of yet, but keep your eyes peeled!

    @darling: Thanks!

    @Lizbot, the suggestion is gross but not out of the question. In that, as a parent he allowed his daughter to be pimped out and being sexualized at such a young age. It causes the eyebrow to waggle.

    @Linda: I agree, his website is horrible and in order to really move on in life and mature, he needs to sell it. Also, I think he was a dirtbag but may really be trying to turn over a new leaf, unless he’s that good of an actor and I’m totally duped because in his sessions he really takes the blame for his part in the struggles of their marriage. But I’ve dated many dirtbags like him, who always promised to do better and never did. Until I stopped dating dirtbags, so I hear you on that one. We shall see, I guess?

    @considerthis: Brilliant! I am so gullible, which is why reality TV is perfect for me b/c I believe EVERYTHING! Damn, a dial tone, eh? Could be! I would not put it past the producers to arrange that sort of thing. Very interesting . . .

  10. 10
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted December 10, 2012 at 7:13 pm

    Totes brilliant, @consider, I concur. But I now have that CRJ freaking song stuck in my head. Aarrrrrgghh!

    “Hey, I just met you, and this crazy, but here’s my number…so call me, maybe”

    Bwahahahaha now everyone can get it headstuck [evilgrinhorns].

  11. 11
    darco
    Posted December 11, 2012 at 3:31 pm

    Haha Nik Richie totally summed it up perfectly when he said Stodden is “is too young and too high on meds to even know what love is.” Gaah I hate her so much yet I watch her every move – so I guess she win in the end? This whole season was definitely made that much more interesting by the fact that she was in it, I will say that.

    Oh and props to the show for ending this season with “Be Your Everything” by Boys Like Girls over the season highlights montage, I really love that song and I also think they did a great job of picking the best highlight clips for the montage.

  12. 12
    BillieJo
    Posted December 11, 2012 at 10:48 pm

    Loved reading your recaps, but, from commenting on the Couples Therapy facebook page, I want others to know it resulted in several of us being stalked, harassed, and even having our computers hacked by one of Courtney’s very mentally unbalanced ‘fans’. Reports have been filed with the FBI at this point. This is what people like Courtney attract. We’ve changed passwords something like 3 times in 2 days, added more spyware, malware, and virus protection, had to contact ISPs, etc. Because one 39 year old ‘man’ got in an online disagreement with some women, so he’s made it his mission in life to terrorize them in the cyber world, because if he defends Courtney, she’ll love him maybe. Kinda like John Hinckley Jr.

  13. 13
    Lillie Lower
    Posted January 7, 2013 at 4:26 am

    Interesting cases. These are so common though. The one with the alcohol problem will continue to drink eventhough he promised to go to AA. It really doesn’t show in his face that he is in a state of remorse. The only thing that can change him is when the woman of her life will be gone. Classic ending really.

  14. 14
    Lillie Lower
    Posted January 7, 2013 at 5:17 am

    This is some show that has so many drama that is sometimes irritating. Nevertheless, people still watch it because it is quite interesting.

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