Dallas Recap: A New Season And More Crazy Bitches

 Bobby, Christopher, John Ross and Elena meet up in the conference room, where Christopher and John Ross fight over money for the Cartright contract.  Christopher obviously doesn’t know how hard John Ross worked for that contract.  Bobby, in an oh-so-shocking twist, sides with Christopher. Christopher asks Elena to give him a minute just to tell John Ross that he knows he will hang himself.  I’ve been a fan of Jesse Metcalf since his days as a gardener on Desperate Housewives, but I’m kind of thinking that Christopher is kind of being a little douchebag. 

 It seems that the real Rebecca Sutter has shown up in Dallas and Christopher plans to use her as his secret weapon to get an annulment.  Real Rebecca is worried about Tommy and wants to make sure that Christopher won’t press charges against him.  He agrees to this condition and Real Rebecca heads out of the building.  While she gets in a cab, someone is of course watching her. 

 Meanwhile, Ann is at some kind of art gallery where a woman is unveiling a painting she got for Bobby.  It looks like an oil rig or maybe a castle.  I don’t really get it, but Ann seems delighted.  Harris walks in and drops the bombshell that he found their daughter.  I love how they just dropped this without really explaining that Ann had a daughter.  It turns out that Harris has had private investigators looking for their daughter for the last 20 years.  He wants the tape Ann made about him laundering money and he will tell Ann where their daughter is.  I don’t know about everyone else, but I’m thinking this guy is quite the catch.

 John Ross is hanging out in his car, waiting for his private investigator to show up.  Once he does, he tells John Ross that the girl he was interested in surfaced.  He pulls out pictures of Real Rebecca.  Ok everyone, recap is over.  I am officially moving to Dallas to become a private investigator.  I never would have thought this was such a lucrative career, but it’s like everyone in the city of Dallas has their go-to private eye.  Then again, I’m not nearly discreet enough for that line of work, so I guess I shall continue.

 Next we hit a lighter note – Ann sitting in her car at South Fork, looking at pictures of her daughter while sobbing and laughing.  She seriously seems like she’s about to lose her shit, but gets herself together and heads inside.  She tells Bobby that she had a daughter, Emma that was kidnapped at 18 months.  How is this something that Bobby wouldn’t have known?  I’m not saying it’s a first date discussion, but maybe telling her spouse about the horrific kidnapping experience you went through might top the ‘getting to know you’ list.  It’s not like she sold the kid into slavery, so maybe this all could have been avoided.  She also tells him about Harris blackmailing her.  Bobby questions if she can believe that Harris is telling the truth.  I mean, how could you doubt a fine, upstanding gentleman like Harris Ryland?