Dallas Recap: The First Four Episodes

In a stereotypically shady abandoned parking garage, John Ross meets with Rebecca. Why in the hell do people that are up to something think that this is discreet? Like nobody is going to think it’s strange that two brand new cars are showing up in someplace abandoned and nothing bad is happening. Anyway, John Ross wants Rebecca to get proof of Rick Lobell (The attorney’s son) doing drugs. He has, unfortunately for John Ross, been clean. When Rebecca asks him how she is supposed to get him to do drugs, he tells her that someone as resourceful at her should be able to think of something. She takes the file on Rick and leaves.

I so want to shove this file up your ass, but someone might see in this abandoned parking garage…

Back to the good side of the family. Bobby and Christopher are in the barn, trying to help a cow get through giving birth. They have a heart-to-heart about Rebecca and Elena. Bobby tells Christopher that he needs to make a decision and stick with it. When the birthing starts to go bad, Bobby makes the decision to cut the calf out of the mom. Christopher protest because it will kill the mom. Bobby says that it’s one or the other and calls for the vet.

Rebecca is hanging out at some kind of AA/Stay off drugs meeting and approaches Rick Lobell. She tells him that she is trying to stay clean and needs someone to talk to. I find it ironic that one of the London brothers – Jeremy or Jason I don’t know which – is playing Rick. I wonder if they picked the brother that actually has a drug problem.

So there I was, totally stoned…oh wait, that’s your line.

Elena is dropping John Ross off after going with him to talk people out of their oil wells. He goes inside to find Not Marta pissed off and wondering where he has been. He feeds her a line of crap about going out with the guys for a drink. Her meds finally kick in and she forgives him.

Rebecca and Rick are in his car talking about drugs. She does a 180 and is all ‘I just need a fix – do you have anything? Come on, I won’t tell’. He pulls out a picture of his wife and explains that he couldn’t live with himself if he disappointed her and that is why he is clean. Moved, Rebecca tells him that he changed her mind and gets out of the car.

Like any rational person whose boyfriend came home late, Not Marta has a store open up in the middle of the night so that she can buy John Ross a watch. I’m sure this relationship will end well.

Do you have any with a small compartment where I can store his balls?

It’s the day of the final barbeque at Southfork. Christopher is watching the calf that he and his dad saved. Another cow is taking care of the calf and he has a revelation about his relationship with his dad. He tells Bobby that he made the right decision because the calf will still have someone to take care of him even though his mom didn’t make it – just like Christopher. Ah, what a tender moment. I feel like I should be watching the Hallmark Channel.

Finally making a decision about Elena, Christopher goes to her house and gives her a check for her help with the Methane gas extraction. He explains that the check is so that she can’t come back and claim ownership on the patent. This move is to basically make her hate him, thus taking the decision out of his hands.

Elena then sends John Ross a text inviting him to the barbeque. In turn, John Ross sends Rebecca a text letting her know that he is going to be in attendance and that she should have done what he wanted.

Meanwhile, Not Marta is taking Lithium and drinking champagne. A terrific combo, I’m sure. JR shows up to reveal pictures of John Ross and Elena groping each other. Not Marta is furious and JR talks her into siding with him and screwing over John Ross. Not Marta gives JR some pictures – it turns out she had more luck with Rick than Rebecca did. The photos she has look like some kind of crime scene, so I don’t know what the hell she got him to do. It’s enough for JR, though and he is pleased with her. I mean, it’s always wise to pair up with someone that is insane.

Just a little nightcap