Dance Moms Miami Recap

Recaps

By SnoopK8 | Friday, May 25, 2012 | 1:34 pm | 23 Comments
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Posted in: Dance Moms Miami, Recaps

Susan is sitting there fuming. She finally erupts, saying her daughter took a trophy and was punished for two weeks while Sammy can yell and disrespect everyone…” But Susan’s attempts to start a brawl are interrupted when Sammy starts crying during the rehearsal. Abby jumps up to go get her because she is a “mama bear.” When she goes, Bob says “what a piece of work.” Everyone agrees. Well that’s nice. At least they agree on one thing.

Abby and Sammy meet privately with VictAng. Sammy’s crying about being on the bottom of the list due to her mom’s behavior. Abby tells her that it has nothing to do with how she dances and who she is. Angel agrees, saying one week she’ll be on the bottom, the next week she’ll be on the top, proving that the list has no purpose other than to foment drama.

To the boys, Abby says the last six weeks have been super unpleasant with those Harpy-ass skanks (moms, not kids) who have ruined every competition for her. She says something needs to be done about them. Firing squad? Angel sends Sammy out of the room and tells Abby to ignore the other moms and commit to the team. Angel says he knows the moms are “uncontrollable,” But he is just going to deal with the kids.

Abby returns to the lounge and asks about the other kids’ assignments. Bitchette fills her in and says the group number focuses on Sammy being abandoned. Susan jumps in to say SHE thinks it’s been the opposite, that Sammy abandoned THEM. Abby has had enough and asks if they can just end this ridiculousness. But Susan says Abby should be humble and apologize. Abby says that’s like calling the kettle a crazy-ass bitch. Susan gets up to leave, calling Abby “Miss Rich” and “Miss Beautiful.” Wasn’t that a children’s book series?

The Susan Edition

Abby, awesomely, says it’s better than being “psycho and ugly.” Oh snap! No she dit’nt! Then she says to Susan “a little class would help.” Heh. Although I feel like people who mention class are usually the ones who don’t have any. But it’s still funny. The best part of this scene, if you watch again, is Bitchette’s face. She sure loves herself a good catfight.

My work here is done

Abby interviews that she is going to stick it out at Stars despite the moms, because – again – how else is she going to be on TV every week?

Victor and Hannah are rehearsing Hannah’s solo “House of Pain.” Presumably she will have to Jump Around a lot. (Sorry.) He bullies her into admitting she feels bad when people talk about her technique or her weight… which leads us back to the lounge and someone, I think Bitchette (based on the degree of smugness in her voice), asks how Hannah’s diet is going. Bob says great, never better! She says Hannah has a great, positive attitude.

At this point Mayra comes in and says Hannah tells her she is at the correct weight for her age. Bob’s like “the doctor will say yes,” a non-denial denial if I ever heard one. Bitchette sees her opportunity to start trouble and says “mother to mother… I know it’s a sensitive subject…” Bob pounces on the bait and says “don’t tell me I have to lose weight. Live your life, let me live mine.” Bitchette says “well, it has to be hard for Hannah – you don’t practice what you preach.” Gosh. Bitchette is so helpful, isn’t she?

Mayra, of course, loves this. She’s like “I saw Hannah eating a hamburger in the airport!” Bob yells “SHE ATE HALF A BURGER WITH NO BUN!” Then she starts screaming that Victor was the one who told Hannah to remove the bun and only eat half of the burger. She pats Mayra and says she’ll listen to Hannah’s coaches. Mayra screeches “don’t touch me!”

Tag. You’re It.

Oh please. Like Bob is really gonna throw down. So now it’s Bob’s turn to storm out while everyone exchanges glances about how nuts she is.

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SnoopK8
About

Snoop K8 lives in NYC and loves baseball, red wine and Judge Judy (not necessarily in that order).

23 Comments

  1. 1
    SnoopK8 SnoopK8
    Posted May 25, 2012 at 2:41 pm

    Arghhh – forgot to give this a title! Let’s pretend it was intentional.

  2. 2
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted May 25, 2012 at 3:54 pm

    Some things have been bothering me so I’m just going to get them out of my system here in the mini cap.

    I didn’t even know about the StarBooty show sub culture till I saw the Jabby show. So I probably don’t have a sophisticated enough eye. But I’m just not seeing all these huge differences in the kid’s levels and artistic styles etc.

    Lucas is real flexible and Jessi looks a little bit more practiced but she’s a few yrs older so let’s hope so. Other than that they all seem to be doing about like you’d expect for kids their age.

    What you can’t expect is for more than 1 middle school kid in like a million to have all that much “artistic style” yet. That’s what people that are super talented take regular old school class every day from pre K all up through college to get!

    Also, Hannah is not fat. She has a regular body type. (She’s also about to grow up to be a knock down drag out beauty BTW)

    Every week she gets lined up next to other little girls that have long legged ballerina style bodies. And then put on TV. 2 things that make everybody look fatter than they are.

    And every time somebody calls her fat some little viewer girl goes and makes herself throw up.

    I’ll tell you 2 things that are fat though. Bob is fat. So Hannah might have to worry about it 1 day. But since she’s just 11 and already in a dance class she’s got a good start.

    The other thing that’s fat is the elephant in near about every dance studio in the USA and some other places.

    Most of the dance styles that are popular in the USA and in Europe are ballet based. Which needs certain proportions to get the lines to look right.

    So just about any USA dance class that’s either Old School talented or StarBooty teams is going to have a majority of that long legged thinner body type. Which even has its own vocabulary word of ectomorph.

    It’s not fair. But it’s also not unfair. If it was a painting, dancers would be the brushes.

    And just like there’s a whole mess of painting styles, there’s a whole mess of other kinds of dances besides ballet based. (Real 1s. Not the folklore inspired category kind Jabby puts Nia in by herself so she can win a prize at the StarBooty)

    Some are mostly with hands and arms. So it doesn’t matter if you’re short legged. Or if unlike Hannah, you’re fat.

    In some dances your legs don’t even show. Like Kathakali (which trying to learn BTW makes the oldest school and hardest core ballet school in Europe look like sit still and tap your foot time at the old folks home)

    Don’t worry. I’m not going to make a list. It’s safe to quit scrolling now and go take some Lyrica for your carpal tunnel.

  3. 3
    April
    Posted May 25, 2012 at 5:43 pm

    Oh love the Little Miss comment. Yes, I loved those books as a kid and my sons love them too!

  4. 4
    April
    Posted May 25, 2012 at 5:47 pm

    I found Lucas’ little monologue very honest and true. He doesn’t care. He just wants to dance. His mom is acting like a fame whore and a middle school girl and it is upsetting him. How can she sit there and listen to that and not feel shame or sadness?

  5. 5
    April
    Posted May 25, 2012 at 5:49 pm

    You don’t need a teacher to stretch you. I never had one. I stretched my damn self. It is not something that requires a partner. That was a dumb excuse or whatever.

  6. 6
    sagittariuskim sagittariuskim
    Posted May 25, 2012 at 7:16 pm

    I really don’t understand why everybody is making such a big deal about Hannah’s weight. It just look like she has some baby fat left. She’s at awkward stage right now and she’ll probable lose it when she’s passed it. And I really hope Hannah mistaken about the judges comments, I would to think they would comment about any child’s weight.

    Is it just me or does Mia’s mom look like Victoria Gotti?

  7. 7
    gun kata
    Posted May 25, 2012 at 7:53 pm

    One thing Abby Lee said was the people working on the show know nothing about dance. So, sometimes, watching things (routines that aren’t really shot to their best advantage, for example) keep that in mind. I think they also decide to film/show things that may not be the best thing they could choose because they are just thinking about a reality show rather than the dance, for lack of a better word, culture.

    So, this unrelenting focus on Hannah’s weight may be part of that. They have filmed this entire season, so I guess they are just thinking of it as a storyline. However, I guess they just do not realize that it is too much and for a girl who, at her age, shouldn’t even be worried. She’s very likely to come out of this as thin as anyone else. But, if she develops an ED then that will be at the cost of her overall health which would be a shame.

    And, yes. Mayra put on her hairshirt and Victor stressed out and it was about to be a pleasant interlude for the always lurking Bitchette. Thank goodness Bob made herself useful and nipped that in the bud. Because, I can objectively see the possibility Mayra did believe they were laughing at her. They were being bipolar as heck that day, but perhaps she failed to notice and thought they were picking on her. Well, the always lurking Bitchette was looking for a chink in anyone and everyone’s armor, as usual.

    Lucas’s speech on the couch was awesome. Go, Lucas!

  8. 8
    April
    Posted May 26, 2012 at 5:20 am

    I said it before, in all my years of listening to the judges tapes, not once did they say a dancer was too fat or needed to lose weight etc. Not once. I don’t think judges are actually saying that. We had some big dancers, bigger than her and never heard that.

  9. 9
    maryedith
    Posted May 26, 2012 at 6:16 am

    It’s hard to tell from the editing whether the studio, the producers, or Bob is at fault for making too much of Hannah’s weight. I’m starting to suspect Bob. Mayra looked like a total stirrer with the whole hamburger and pizza conversation but it’s possible that Vict/Ang and Mayra don’t care what Hannah eats and just get tired of Bob complaining that everyone calls Hannah fat or secretly thinks Hannah is fat. And then they call her on the fact that she herself feeds Hannah fatty food. I’m sure Bob is totally neurotic about food and probably makes Hannah focus on it way more than she otherwise would.

  10. 10
    gun kata
    Posted May 26, 2012 at 9:24 am

    Maryedith, I think maybe all of the comments over a period of time were gathered up to create a storyline. So, maybe once or twice someone made a big deal about it and those times get put into one episode. The producers may have thought Hannah would overcome it and that would give her a personal victory. Or they may have thought some of the people complaining about having to have their kid dance alongside Hannah were doing that because of her weight. To them, perhaps Hannah’s dancing looks as good as anyone else’s. But, it may not have been anyone wanting to stir stuff up as much as it looks like (in some cases).

    I wonder if the judges’ comments are presentation related rather than specifically weight related. Some of the dance moves look awkward on lots of people. Perhaps someone stated their opinion that ugly foot and sumo pose weren’t Hannah’s cutest moments. Then the costumes are particularly unflattering on Hannah. She may automatically think they are saying she’s fat, but they may mean nothing more than there are better outfits for her. She’s not the only one who sports some unflattering dance costumes, but she may not realize the judges are really only talking about the costume. Then, there’s the unicorn bun which is good for keeping her hair out of her face, but that’s it.

    Of course, Mayra yammering on about the hamburger and things like that was just what it appears to be. She may be right that Hannah is holding steady on her weight rather than losing, but it’s possible Hannah’s doctor told Bob that Hannah could have a growth spurt shortly and that it would be better to address these issues after that happened.

  11. 11
    Z
    Posted May 26, 2012 at 12:14 pm

    They showed one of Hannah’s older sisters in the first episode and she was very skinny. People just need to just pull out their middle school yearbook and compare it to their senior yearbook before condemning Hannah to a future Biggest Loser appearance (not that any of you have but there were some comments on previous eps that were truly outrageous). Very few people keep the figure they have at eleven. I was built like a pencil back then. Stangers stopped me to ask if I was a boy or a girl well into my teen years. I filled out eventually. And I know many people who went the other way. baby fat or lack thereof does not seal your destiny.

  12. 12
    April
    Posted May 26, 2012 at 4:26 pm

    A lot of little dancers including myself went through a slight chub phase in middle school. It has something to do with getting boobs and hips and your body getting taller. Then most of them grew out of it by 9th grade. I don’t think Hannah needs to be losing weight. She is a growing girl. Her doctor is on top of it. She needs to just eat healthy and continue to exercise.

    Angel said a salad is okay but her mother does not believe that. A salad with some kind of protein is okay. But just veggies is not okay for a growing girl as a meal. With her growing and exercising so much she probably needs to eat a decent amount. Lots of protein. Just cut out the sweets and super fatty foods and watch the cards and she should be fine.

  13. 13
    gun kata
    Posted May 26, 2012 at 5:30 pm

    If Hannah really wants to eat salads (meaning a garden salad), but they don’t have complete nutrition… maybe her between meal snack should be a salad. I know snacking between meals is a nono, but kids get hungry. I am not saying this as a weight loss tip, but she may honestly be craving salads all of the time. So, a compromise.

  14. 14
    Chicken Lips
    Posted May 27, 2012 at 8:05 am

    Whenever I watch this show and the dancing, I think of body building competitions (I watch a lot of ESPN 8 “The Ocho” =) ). They all make these crazy poses and then freeze. I don’t remember any of the Pittsburgh girls doing that and they managed to win a time or too. At first I thought it was the dance style, but I noticed that on this episode someone was doing lyrical and that’s Maddie’s solo (not her solo one time – the solo that she dances all the time).

    Also, was I the only one that thought of Alice Cooper when Jessi was crying after hurting her back? As someone that is so pale I’ll actually gain color when I die, I know the need to wear a lot of heavy makeup to appear on stage, but with that much eyeliner, I think they look like someone removed their eyeballs right before they went on stage. The only other time I’ve seen that much eyeliner on someone was when I was watching a documentary about over the hill hookers.

  15. 15
    gun kata
    Posted May 27, 2012 at 2:06 pm

    I am thinking Victor says FIERCE! So much that it has become matter of course in Starsland. I’ve heard kids basically say “fierce” as though they’re just saying “Victor.” I still laugh. If he’s got to have a quirky character trait at least he has a harmless one. Much better than Abby Lee’s not charming habit of screaming at whomever is in the vicinity when she’s mad whether they are 40 or 10. Not that I really advocate yelling at anyone, but adults can drive to another dance studio.

  16. 16
    Pageant-grandma
    Posted May 28, 2012 at 7:02 pm

    Looking back on my dance and twirling pics at 11, I look like Nicole richie before she had kids– scary, unhealthy thin. I ate like crazy but couldn’t keep pounds on to save my soul. Another kid on my team was, as they say these days, “thick”. Built like Hannah– ssomewhat collumn-like. Fast forward 25 years, and we are both built more or less the same– thin/average. Both active kids, with different metabolisms, who, at “middle age” basically evened out. Hannah’s biggest problem is that her instructors insist on dressing her like Kimmy. She’s not Kimmy. She’s not built like Kimmy. Costumes that look good on Kimmy will suck on Hannah, and vise versa.

  17. 17
    gun kata
    Posted May 28, 2012 at 9:38 pm

    Pageant Granma, you know… those costumes even hug Kimmie around the middle. The costumes look all right on Sammy and Mia…well, and I guess Jessi since she’s so toned. That’s about it that I have seen. I hate the costumes they use. I don’t understand, since they do mix them up, why they don’t mix in a couple of one piece costumes. Is that an arty thing, trying to make the dancers’ look less memorable than ugly foot and sumo pose?

    They need to find something one piece that is not overly tight and it will be so much more flattering. Then people might concentrate on the dancing more than wondering what is going on with the ugly costumes and the unicorn buns. If they look, they should be able to find a suitably arty costume that doesn’t say, “here is my stomach, see the poochiness!”

  18. 18
    gun kata
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 8:49 am

    PITTSBURGH SPOILER

    On May 27, 2012 Christi tweeted that Paige broke her foot. There is nothing on Kelly’s twitter yet. Her last tweet concerning Paige was she had an Acro solo and “did well.” But, I think it mustive been just before. There is a photo of Paige in a pool on a floating chair and she has plastic up to her knees.

    However, there was also an April Fool’s “joke” about Paige’s foot from March 31, 2012. It purported to come from Kelly’s twitter, but if she ever wrote any such thing (why would she? So, I doubt it) it is long gone.

    The story is that Paige no longer attends ALDC except for what is required for the Lifetime contract. It didn’t sound as if she was going anywhere else. So, she was landing a back tuck in some of her required dancing (perhaps a solo), and broke her foot when she landed.

    Naturally someone on twitter mentioned that if Maddie’s foot had been broken, Abby would have been in the ER screaming at the doctors. Well, duh. Kelly could give a rat’s ass if Paige never dances again as long as Paige is happy. Maddie HAS to dance. But, I do think Paige loved dancing. I hope she will be well soon (really I hope she’s not hurt) and can take dancing somewhere. Maybe she should go to a school that doesn’t compete at all and just dance for herself. She is probably fed up with drama now and I don’t blame her, but she’s a good dancer. There is no doubt about that.

    I have seen a lot of teen results for Brooke. So, I don’t know if the same thing goes for her and ALDC as Paige. I think Brooke just tunes Abby out and this is why she rarely smiles around Abby. However, in photos with the other girls, she smiles as much as they do. I know when Abby was reading them the riot act about Melissa’s engagement drama, Brooke looked so much like Kelly in her glaring at Abby it was creepy. But, I hope Brooke is doing what she wants to do as well, she’s a good dancer. So, I hope she hasn’t totally dropped it forever.

  19. 19
    tntjunky
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 7:56 pm

    Have not watched this ep yet but had to post! I was in Pittsburgh this weekend and went by Abbey Lee’s studio. They were filming and i met Abbey, Holly, Nia, Chloe and Brooke. All so nice! Nia is really sweet. Anyway, it was fun! Can’t wait for them to be back!

  20. 20
    josstas-mom
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 9:05 am

    Oh my gosh, I couldn’t wait for the new minicap to post. I really stopped watching the show because SnoopK8′s recaps are so much better, but I caught maybe the last 5 or 10 minutes of the show last night (May 29 episode). I saw Angel get between Bitchette and Mia’s mother and thought he was waaayyy too aggressive even though I hate Bitchette. Then seeing Lucas cry and Jessie cry, this show is just awful. Those kids were so hurt by the drama that’s going on, it’s not right. I can’t take a liking to these kids, but what I saw was just over the top. And Victor being such a prima donna saying who’s next, get out of his studio, he just made me want to puke with his arrogance. Am I making too much out of what I saw, or was the show just really that awful? I can’t watch a show where kids are just thrown under the bus. I can’t watch a show where kids are just so crushed. I felt so bad for Lucas and Jessie, I myself wanted to cry. If the short bit I saw was and will be the tone for this show, it really has to go. I think it’s worse than Pittsburgh, and I really can’t explain why because those moms always threaten to pull their kids out, too. I don’t know. Just too aggressive? Can someone give me feedback on this? Am I being off the wall?

  21. 21
    KRB
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 10:33 am

    josstas-mom-

    The show last night was actually really awful. VicAng were totally up Mia and her mothers butt. Changing assignments to fit her… They made Jabby look way fair. I think that the reason for the tears was actually ok on the parents part. I thought that VicAng were better with children than Jabby, but this show totally took that way. The favoritism that was showed was awful and I think that the parents had a right to say something. Although, I think that this show is somewhat set up, it felt like VicAng had a plan and didn’t tell any of the mothers or children about it and everyone got hurt…

  22. 22
    josstas-mom
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 10:45 am

    Thanks. I’m honestly wrestling with myself as to whether or not to watch the show (on comcast/on demand). I don’t know if I can stomach it. That short bit just upset me so much. I really don’t know if it’s VictAng or the producers or what, but little kids are getting hearts broken and/or being used in the process. I even consider 14 year old Jessie (or however old she is) a little kid. And you know what else, I think this show has already gone to both VictAng’s heads. They started out nice, and I’m getting that I can’t stand them.

  23. 23
    gun kata
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 8:27 pm

    Josstass mom, it seems worse than Pittsburgh because all of those people have known each other for years. Abby Lee is not always telling the kids she loves them, even though she does (and I think more of them than the moms think, but A.L. has issues). So, when she yells and is unreasonable, they get support from moms. When Melissa is dismissive of Maddie and Mackenzi, they have A.L. and the other kids and moms.

    At Stars, the main thing the kids had in common is VictAng. This is why Abby and Sammy often feel like outsiders, Sammy only arrived at Stars shortly before filming began. But, the moms and kids individually have known VictAng for years. They call Angel Pipo. They believe VictAng love them. They known VictAng scold their moms, but the way they treated Susan was OTT unless she did something totally nutso. But, I don’t think she did. I think she was just upset and shouting which is, apparently, a way to communicate to her.

    No one was being particularly mean to Mia or even Leo (who is a sneaky version of Bitchette) until Leo pushed it so, so far. Also, they kept the moms on pins and needles the whole episode. They punished Jessi for no good reason, they had scolded all of the kids while they were learning the group dance.

    It just seemed like everyone was required to fawn over Mia and Leo constantly. All of the kids ran and hugged her when she came into the studio. What else were they supposed to do? They were happy for her wins, how was that good enough? Thing is, Mia wins frequently so they all probably expected her to win. That is totally different than Hannah getting second last week because it was a personal milestone. And, MIA is the one who danced and won. NOT LEO. Leo kind of seemed to forget that.

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