Dance Moms Recap: All Dogs Don’t Go To Heaven

57 Comments

1. 1
   cattyfan
   Posted February 27, 2013 at 9:22 pm

   I can’t make fun of grief over a pet passing. Losing a beloved animal is painful.

   Could we instead make fun of the bad plastic surgery increasingly evident on this show?

2. 2
   Fishchikk
   Posted February 27, 2013 at 9:24 pm

   When did the word “tribute” become a verb? The moms kept wanting to “tribute” a dance to Broadway Baby and getting irritated because Abby wouldn’t let the group “tribute” a dance. These moms need to invest in a dictionary.

3. 3
   cattyfan
   Posted February 27, 2013 at 9:24 pm

   Also, why is Holly’s foundation several shades darker than her neck?

4. 4
   2muchbravo
   Posted February 27, 2013 at 9:59 pm

   I don’t watch this show but I LOL’d at this recap. You’ve got a knack for captions Madelynne.

   But, I agree with @Cattyfan the loss of a pet can be very difficult. I appreciate snark value though.

   Black Patsy reminds of Kim Zolciak’s friend Sweetie.

5. 5
   Ariel
   Posted February 27, 2013 at 11:29 pm

   I can’t help but think that if Abby had better interpersonal relationships with people (like, if she had any real friends and a genuine support system) then the death of Broadway Baby might not have hit her so hard. And let’s be honest, 16 years for a dog is pretty damn good (especially an overweight dog with an owner that’s Abby Lee Miller). I’m not trying to be irreverent; losing a beloved pet is awful. Last year I had to put down my cat that I had for almost 20 years and I was a wreck, yes, but not to the degree that Abby was in this ep. The fact that now the \only\ thing Abby has left is her elderly mother makes me think that Abby might want to re-examine her life. Or get to the adoption center of nearest animal shelter FAST.
   And she can take comfort in the fact that, while there may not be doggy heaven, there’s always the Rainbow Bridge.

6. 6
   Madelyne27
   Posted February 28, 2013 at 3:27 am

   i have a motto with my sense of humor… it’s never too soon, and it’s never too far. granted it has landed me in some awkward silences… but it’s mine. doggy death isn’t funny (now cat death is hysterical… i kid, i kid)… an ancient, overweight dog that happens to be the object of a bizarre amount of affection is just fodder for my sense of humor. plus the name Broadway Baby is downright dumb. upside is you only have one more episode with me, and unless Abby’s mom bites it, we should be fine on the death jokes.

7. 7
   ellemenop
   Posted February 28, 2013 at 3:28 am

   I HATE black patsy. who the hell yells at someone that their kid sucks? and in public? what a huge bitch. i was sooo happy that she got kicked out. i just feel bad for her daughter; it’s not her fault her mother is a trashy bitch. i hope she can work past the horrible example of a mother she has and not wind up the same way. also, how embarrassing to have that woman be your mother. i would file those emancipation papers the second i turned 16.

   i also thought maddie’s costume looks like she had a period (or stabbing?) stain going on. as for nia’s costume winning best costume or whatever, honestly? yawn. there was barely a costume to begin with. i mean, if her only competition were maddie, i’d understand, but i can’t believe there wasn’t a more “fierce” costume in that entire competition.

8. 8
   April
   Posted February 28, 2013 at 4:18 am

   It was probably because this was another of those set up competitions. They are doing those now. They only have a small number of kids on the stage is kinda a give away. Comps last for several days and are packed so would be more kids than that. They do actually stage comps and only invite a couple studios they think they can beat to attend.

   RIP Broadway Baby. I loved that dog. She did make me smile. I have a thing for poodles. I always had poodles growing up and I love them. I do think Abby was too over dramatic. My poodle lived to about 15 and at the end the poor thing looked like a zombie she was so old. Her teeth were falling out and she was mostly blind and she had arthritis. It was pitiful. So I was okay with her passing. It was her time. She had a good life. She would not be in pain anymore. She died peacefully in her sleep. That is about the most you can ask for.

   I did not really pay attention to Maddie’s costume but you guys are right, that is odd….

   Their technique did look better than it normally does on that group number. I noticed more straight legs and pointed toes than I normally see. Nicaya did look like she has regressed. She used to keep up with ALDC and that number she did would not keep up with them at all. Was she even there with a studio? Where was her SO? That whole thing seemed very set up.

   Your captions are pretty good.

9. 9
   kthxbai
   Posted February 28, 2013 at 4:32 am

   @Madelyne27 I’m going to be laughing at
   If Dress Barn and Ross had a baby, it would look like this
   all day. That’s the best description of Dance Moms fashion style ever. Thanks!

   YaY! Just last week I was thinking this show was so played out. And wondering where the hell they could go with it.

   And this week, Look! The answer appears from St Louis! She says to call her Black Patsy. But I call her Gold Patsy. Because she’s 100% solid reality show precious metal. Returned! To save Dance Moms from the post shark jumping doldrums!

   If the reality show spirits heard my lament maybe they’ll hear my plea and next week Jabby will announce that Nicaya’s going to be their new regular pyramid square.

   And those Ross Barn moms will have to scroonch over in their observation deck to make room for the loudest hollering, biggest hissy fit throwing Dance Mom in Dance Moms history!

10. 10
    April
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 5:20 am

    No, Nicaya is not coming back but

    SPOILER

    Asia Ray from AUDC is coming with her mom to join the team!

11. 11
    jessiecpt
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 5:54 am

    awesome recap!!! I laughed many times. I never understood why people who are easily offended read snark sites. lol. the more offensive, the better, in my opinion, but fifteen strokes, I guess!

12. 12
    jessiecpt
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 5:55 am

    *DIFFERENT strokes! stupid autocorrect.

13. 13
    Gigi8807
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 7:05 am

    I like fifteen strokes better. Has a nice ring to it to go with kidney failure

14. 14
    Meaghan
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 7:20 am

    This was a hard episode to watch. I lost my dog back in December while I was away at college. My parents didn’t even bother to tell me that they’d put him down until after it had been done because I was busy with a series of performances and they didn’t want to distract me. It was very upsetting; he’d had cancer in the end, and he’d been part of our family since he was a very small puppy. I don’t have any siblings, so he was always there after school or whenever I’d be home alone.

    Poor Broadway Baby. May he rest in peace.

15. 15
    Madelyne27
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 7:22 am

    “fifteen strokes” made me LOL… if they ever do a Gary Coleman porn tribute it should def be called “Fifteen Strokes”…

16. 16
    Ethel Mae
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 7:42 am

    I agree that it’s very hard to lose a pet. But, I have to wonder… If it had been one of the girls who had lost a dog, (or cat, or anything), -and they were in the studio crying, or coming in late- would Abby have been sympathetic, or would she have been her usual cold-hard self? I can picture her telling them to “Save your tears for your pillow.” and to “get over it.”

17. 17
    SnoopK8
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 8:44 am

    Hahaha, Madelyne27. You had me at Ross Barn. Thanks so much for filling in. Let me reiterate how happy I am not to have to recap the Very Special Dead Dog episode!

18. 18
    KJN
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 9:04 am

    I hated this episode so much because I actually felt horrible for Abby and I usually just think Abby’s horrible.

    “Black Patsy” needs to get a grip, fast. All she did was hurt her own daughter. Poor kid.

19. 19
    SaraKate77
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 9:17 am

    Well, according to Black Patsy, the entire episode was fake. Feel free to read about it here:

    https://www.facebook.com/kaya317?ref=ts&fref=ts

    It’s about halfway down the page, now.

    Personally, I don’t care who or what was faked…her language in front of those kids probably DID get her kicked out!

20. 20
    suebrz
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 9:42 am

    I don’t know what’s funnier, “Dress Barn & Ross” , “Why the round face”, or black Patsy. I’m dying (and not of kindney failure). Made my day

21. 21
    realitytvjunkie
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 11:06 am

    Ross and Dress Barn baby….omg, funniest caption ever! Those women look horrible lately. And Jill…between the lemay and the hat and the plaid and polka dot combo (sidebar-hanna, or was it aria? from pretty little liars was wearing the exact same thing on tuesday’s episode, so I’m thinking Jill needs to stop shopping in the Jrs department or picking her outfits from the pages of Cosmo Teen or Seventeen magazine) and the pulled back eyes, I don’t know where to look!

    And I agree that if one of the girls had missed practice because of an animal’s death they would have instantly been sent to the bottom of the pyramid and yelled at for 30 minutes about how they don’t appreciate all that abby does for them!

22. 22
    KRB
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 11:35 am

    “Kaya Uncesnored” Her FB post…

    Had to make this status PUBLIC)
    This will be my very LAST time commenting about Dance Moms. While I don’t feel the need to defend myself or my actions…I would like to set some facts straight and answer the million questions that have flooded my inbox:
    -All the moms (and Abby) curse on Dance Moms…why am I “ghetto” for doing so too? Don’t label me because I don’t talk “white’ enough. I’m from East St Louis and that’s how we sound. One’s dialect doesn’t define their level of education neither does the use of profanity. I am human & subject to getting angry just like everyone else…..
    -We never auditioned for Dance Moms. We were asked to appear on the show because of Nicaya’s reputation for being a great dancer & my reputation for being a “stage mom’. We were also noticed by the Lifetimr execs when Nicaya auditioned for Abby’s Ultimate Dance Competition and made the top 20 (but not the final 14). For those of you saying she just a.mediocre dancer…..has YOUR dancer accomplished as much?
    -While the first episodes appeared on were unscripted, this NEW season IS scripted and fake! The power of editing will amaze you.
    -We were NOT.disqualified from the competition. I have her score sheet and award to prove that she tied with Nia. I also have a copy of the email that I sent to the producer, Bryan Stinson, asking that he make it appear as though we were kicked out because we were not able to stay for awards. We left early because we wanted to attend our studio’s holiday party and a candle light vigil for a fellow dancer who died the day before (you can that we were wearing Clare’s photo on our shirts at the competition)
    -While I don’t deny having a potty mouth, the producers nearly FORCE us to altercations with each other (for ratings of course). They will keep you on the set until they get “good” material. If you want to go home (because you’re not paid per hour) you raise hell so you can go home! You are bound by a contract to finish your episode. It can take a few hours or a few weeks (and you’re not paid for your time). So if you want to go home…you give the people what they want.
    -Abby does not compete at real competitions. If you watch her shows closely, the same announcer is always at.competitions. He owns In10sity Dance. He works for Abby and his job is to arrange competitions in different cities for ALDC to compete at. He changes.the name in each city (Xpression Dance, In10sity, etc). They search REPUTABLE competition websites for their competitions results in each city. Then they invite the lower scoring studios to competitions making it easier for ALDC to win. When they came to St Louis, they didn’t invite Renee Johnson’s (who is a personal friend of Abby), Excel, NV Dance Force or even Charmette because they don’t want real competition. No offense to any studio who attended the competition, but this is how they ensure that ALDC wins (although they’ll occassionally let someone else win to make it seem fair).
    -With the exception of Mackenzie, all of the girls are between 11-13yrs old…..yet none of then compete in teen aside from Brooke. Unless another studio questions their ages and asks for birth certificates, they’ll keep getting away with lying about being 9yrs old. How has Maddie been 9 since the shows premiered 2 years ago?
    -ALDC has been banned from reputable competitions (Showbiz, Primetime, Masquerade, NYCDA, etc) because they lie about their wins. Any real competitive dancer knows that their can be mutiple 1st place scores. And ONE dancer cannot win the WHOLE competition. He/she can only win her age group/category. Also, a real competition would have far more dancers onstage for awards and in the audience. This proves that they put together last minute competitions in each city and very few studios attend.
    - We never moved to Pittsburgh to attend ALDC. Once again….we were invited, we wanted the money, enough said.
    -Nicaya has danced since she was 3yrs old (at Carol Christy School of Dance). She started competing at age 6 (Best Dance & Talent Center). At age 9 she moved to Charmette Academy of Dance and Acrobatics where she has received advanced training that allowed her to win multiple awards, scholarships, an opportunity to dance with the world renowed Joffrey Ballet, and enabled her to be recognized by Lifetime to begin with. She is a well rounded dancer who does tap, ballet, hip hop, jazz and contemporary/modern dance. It is MY choice that she doesn’t do acro.
    -The name Black Patsy came from my mom who jokingly said I act like Patsy Ramsey when it comes to my kids and their activities. I push them to be their best and put all my time, money, and energy into ensuring that they succeed in all that they do. I don’t think JonBenet Ramsey’s demise is a laughing matter. Lifetime heard about my moniker and thought it was witty so we ran with it.
    -Any further questions, comments, concerns about Black Patsy/Kaya/Nicaya and Dance Moms will ONLY be answered TODAY! Tomorrow my REAL life starts again and I have no further dealings with the trash that IS, Dance Moms.
    (And for those who hate me or my daughter….stay off my page and KISS MY A$$! You’re jealous because YOU and YOUR “mediocre” dancer didn’t get the same opportunity/national recognition. Whether you agree with my behavior or not….it served it’s purpose. My daughter’s name is out there. The world knows she has at least an ounce of talent, and YOU can’t say the same).
    Next????

23. 23
    TurtleGirl93
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 11:49 am

    Broadway Baby’s eyes and butchered haircuts always bothered me. My mother had two Bichon Frises and the breed takes a bit of effort grooming-wise. (I’ve always thought BB was a Bichon, but even if she were a poodle or a mix, she appreared to need high maintenance). Filtered water and Angel Eyes food supplement would have cleaned those crusty stains right up.

    Did it bother anyone else when Maddie was talking about her private with Abby and how Abby had confided in her. I can’t remember exactly what she said but (as always) I thought that’s not how a grown-up should talk with a child.

    I’ll admit it. I was ridiculously happy to see Kelli and Christy make up. I almost cried in my sushi.

    @KRB, thanks for posting Black Patsy’s statement.

24. 24
    realitytvjunkie
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 12:10 pm

    Damn Kaya/Black Patsy laid it all out there!

25. 25
    BP
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 12:27 pm

    I personally thought it was funny that Abby began referring to Broadway Baby as “it” when they were mourning him in the green room. Abby, if you really thought BB was like a child, then what the hell? FAKE.

26. 26
    Nia
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 12:31 pm

    As much as I don’t like patsy, I tend to buy what she is saying. It all makes sense. Only part I don’t buy is that they can’t go home until they cause a scene

27. 27
    ellemenop
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 12:37 pm

    I like that she complains about people calling her “ghetto” when she looooves to point out how “hood” she is every damn chance she gets. so which one is it?

28. 28
    KRB
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 12:37 pm

    “We were NOT.disqualified from the competition. I have her score sheet and award to prove that she tied with Nia. I also have a copy of the email that I sent to the producer, Bryan Stinson, asking that he make it appear as though we were kicked out because we were not able to stay for awards.”

    This is what I have a issue with, why in the world would you ASK if make it look like you got kicked out??? That doesn’t make any sense to me?

29. 29
    Madelyne27
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 12:52 pm

    “We left early because we wanted to attend our studio’s holiday party and a candle light vigil for a fellow dancer who died the day before (you can that we were wearing Clare’s photo on our shirts at the competition)”

    1. I think she missed a verb when she said “you can that we were wearing…”
    2. The only shirt I saw her in was a black t-shirt that said “Black Patsy”… so Clare must be really dark skinned.

    That’s all. She didn’t bother me much. Minus that she’s loud. I hate loud. I’ll take stupid and ugly over loud any day.

30. 30
    SaraKate77
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 12:57 pm

    Maddie has *not* been 9 since the show started, either. First of all, when the show debuted she was only 8. She turned 9 between season 1 & 2, I think. She’s now 10 (born in 2002).

    Brooke is 15, Chloe is 12, Nia is 11, Kendall is 10, and Paige is 12. Mackenzie is now 8

    Since competitions don’t always go by your “actual age”, of course, we would see Maddie, Chloe, Nia, Kendall, and Paige competing in 9-11 categories all together!

    Black Patsy is trying to make herself look better, and redeem herself. She said the same editing sh*t after the first time she was on – if it was really that bad, then why would she go back unless she was an attention whore?

31. 31
    plockness monster
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 1:10 pm

    I thought Nicaya was a pretty shitty dancer. She reminded me of Nia, when the show first began.

    I hate when people say “I’m ghetto because I live in ————.” No, you are ghetto because you ACT ghetto, and I think Black Patsy reallllllllllllllly poured it on for some attention. I doubt everyone in St. Louis acts like an asshole like Black Patsy does.

32. 32
    SaraKate77
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 1:11 pm

    She also loses me at “One dancer can’t win the whole comp.” Yes, there are some where that is the case, but I have been to competitions where they do honor the top 5-10 highest scoring (in ALL categories) dances.

    She also says, “ALDC has been banned from comps” – no, they’ve been banned from FILMING at certain comps.

33. 33
    April
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 1:22 pm

    According to the dancemoms board I go to with real dance moms they are faked comps. They do only invite certain studios. It makes sense.

    There are top awards that are like you won the whole comp. The studio my son dances at had a production number that was announced as having the highest score of the entire competition.

    Christi and Kelly remind me of my Best Friend and I. We fight a lot with each other. Like sisters. We can really get into it. But, if someone attacks either one of us, we band together and have each other’s backs.

    I never did acro when I danced either. It is not a requirement. It can help and hurt honestly. More likely to get an injury that can kill your career. Also can give you a leg up at auditions if they are looking for someone that can tumble. So it depends honestly.

34. 34
    KRB
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 1:28 pm

    They do “stage” the comps… kinda. They are invitational comps, at least, which I think works better for them and the people who go. Everyone that goes has to sign a waiver so they can put anyone on TV and the film crew/editing people have an easier time. I think it makes sense so people who don’t want to don’t have to put up with the filming if they don’t want. ALDC does to other comps, apparently they have an excellent mini group that McKenzie is in.

35. 35
    Sunshine
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 2:57 pm

    Funniest damn captions I ‘ve seen in a long time….I was laughing out loud at my desk…thank goodness it was on my own time after 5 p.m. so nobody could give me any crap about it.

    I know alot of this stuff is scripted and I believe Patsy when she says producers push the women into confrontation… but I DO NOT BELIEVE for ONE MINUTE…that she wrote to someone and asked that they make it look as if they were kicked out. That makes no sense. And any email is not proof of anything because we all know emails can be faked.

    The woman is just mean inside and nasty….but I have to RSVP no to her invite to kiss her ass…it’s also nasty.

    Great hilarious recap…. I know losing a pet is horrible…..I have lost some….but don’t come to this site if joking about anything upsets you because that is what this site is… SNARK. We all know that.
    Great job.

36. 36
    Elle
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 4:39 pm

    What I don’t get is if the whole thing is rigged, why does it matter that you have a certificate saying Nicaya had the same score as Nia? Either you think they are BS and don’t matter or you think they are credible. You can’t have it both ways.

    Count me in the crazy for her pets camp. Once I just thought my dog was lost and I sobbed on the street trying to find her under houses and such. But I’d have let them \tribute\ the hell out of my dog AND let Vivi be carried across the screen in a little dog costume.

37. 37
    WaffleBoy
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 6:45 pm

    “I think Broadway Baby would have wanted a better kidney.” That’s awesome. You’ve got a real talent for this, especially the screen grabs. Thanks for a great recap

38. 38
    smasha
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 7:02 pm

    Anyone who wears a fedora is an asshole.

39. 39
    Elaine
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 7:52 pm

    @SaraKate77

    I think Chloe’s 11, not 12.

40. 40
    Megan
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 10:07 pm

    I’m sadly going to have to go with Black Patsy on this one for the sheer fact that dance competitions post results from their competitions on their websites. Xpression Dance does not exist. Period. I’ve been attending dance competitions for 20 years and this week’s episode was all wrong from the placements of the judges to no dancers waiting in the wings to perform. So sad.

    Loved your recap though!! The captions were perfect!!

41. 41
    Jocelyn
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 10:25 pm

    ^ @ Megan — I have been on the venue where the competition shown this week wad held.My daughter competed there when Revolution held their comp there 2 or 3 years ago. The judges were actually seated in the audience and the dancers were not backstage or in the wings (there were none) but their number/name was called and they just took the stage from wherever they were. The venue was very nice, but not a great setup for a dance competition.

    Not to say that Black Patsy doesn’t make some valid arguments, just wanted to share some info about the venue.

42. 42
    Tapnfeet99
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 10:31 pm

    My dogs get their eyes cleaned multiple times a day. They actually hold still and put up with it because we do it so often to make sure they don’t get those nasty crusts. It bothers me when animals’ eyes are all crusted like BB. All it takes is a warm washcloth or wet/dry Kleenex! Find the time if you care about your animals. It’s like leaving a human kid with a nose full of exploding crusty boogers. Clean that shit up! Ok, off my soap box.

    Jill, the hat look doesn’t work for you…cowboy, fedora, you just look like an idiot. I just kept thinking of Christi’s comment about the cowboy hat… About the who can take her seriously when she is wearing those hats? Lol.

    Nicaya stunk! She definitely regressed. I liked Nia’s costume when she first came out in it before they took off the cute matching belt and stuff. I thought the group number looked pretty clean considering it was improv.

    The show is definitely not believable anymore. Very staged and fake. I loved first season b/c I felt more of a connection between reality and the show.

43. 43
    April
    Posted March 1, 2013 at 4:29 am

    I watched the entire group dance on lifetime and some of the parts were a hot mess. They only showed the good parts on the show. Watch the whole dance and tell me what you think.

44. 44
    SaraKate77
    Posted March 1, 2013 at 6:46 am

    Elaine – yup, you’re right. She’ll be 12 this year.

    @Megan, I beg to differ about Xpression “not existing”: http://www.xpressiondance.com/homepage.html
    Now, it may be that they exist to do Dance Moms invitationals as a subset of In10sity. But they do exist.
    Also, I saw dancers waiting in the “wings” insomuch as there were wings. But there weren’t really, if you look at the whole set up. I’ve also been to many, many competitions, and there are plenty of the venues that we’ve attended where the judges in the audience, because there wasn’t another place to put them.

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    April
    Posted March 1, 2013 at 7:20 am

    I am going to back SaraKate in that I also saw some dancers in the wings. I also have competed in comps that had the judges in the audience too. One comp had the judges up in the balcony on the front for some reason so our teacher told us to look at at them and project upwards instead of down front where judges usually are.

46. 46
    rebecca pressley
    Posted March 1, 2013 at 7:32 am

    that poor dog was ready to go to Heaven, he was pitiful looking. When Abbey was talking to her mother and she said something about ‘those girls dont care, they are just brats” that was so ugly of her to say!! I dont know how Abbey even stays in business with her nasty attitude!
    This was a hillarious re-cap!! I dont know if I laughed harder at Aunt Flo, Dress BArn or PHD KFC!!

47. 47
    KRB
    Posted March 1, 2013 at 7:35 am

    @Elle – I don’t think I was use the word rigged. I would say staged. I do think that there are real judges and there really other other kids competing, but it’s only by invite, so they tend to only invite studios that are below their level, or so I’ve been told? I think it’s a great idea in reality, in a “real” comp there are people who won’t sign releases, it slows down the event, etc… by doing it this way everyone who comes must sign a release and everyone knows what to expect as far as filming goes and no one can be too very upset about the cameras and fuss.

48. 48
    April
    Posted March 1, 2013 at 9:56 am

    I mean it is probably better for these staged comps. A lot of regular comp parents are very upset about them filming at their comps and will actually try to avoid being at one of the filming comps when ALDC is there. They don’t want their kids seeing the fights or hearing the language. It brings in big crowds of fans of the show that take up seating so that the parents of the dancers cannot find a seat. They take an entire dressing room which is not how that is normally done at all. We had to just find a dressing room where ever we could and share with other studios. They Take up the first two rows and reserve them. They don’t want their kids on camera. I have heard the camera guys and execs and security guys can be pushy.

    So maybe it is for the best to do it this way.

49. 49
    whoochile
    Posted March 1, 2013 at 10:11 pm

    How I missed it first time around, I don’t know, but \Black Patsy\ is her own nickname for herself, based on Patsy Ramsey??? Seriously? I weep for her child. So very sad.

50. 50
    Samantha
    Posted March 2, 2013 at 7:59 pm

    Is anyone else excited about the next episode? I can’t wait to see how Abby speed dating turns out. It actually looks funny

51. 51
    katwoman
    Posted March 2, 2013 at 9:33 pm

    @Madelyne27: OUTSTANDING recap! Hilarious captions and I laughed out loud more than once on every page! You are gifted!
    And you’re right about the overdone makeup on the talking heads! Seems like it gets heavier every week; maybe there’s a makeup artist competition going on also! – but it’s TOO MUCH!

    I thought Maddie’s white dress was decorated to go with with the title/theme of her dance – it looked like a red heart to me.

    I’ll be tuning in next week and thanks for all the snickers & laughs!

52. 52
    Dani
    Posted March 3, 2013 at 8:57 am

    GREAT RECAP!!!! I loved all the pictures with sayings underneath. I was in a really shitty mood before I started to read, but was totally cracking up as I read your re-cap! Very funny!!

    First off, Chloe is NOT 12. She is 11. She and Nia are about the same age- I think their birthdays are within the same month of eachother and they both are 11.

    I know that In10sity is a “real,” but I have lost a lot of respect for them. They are making out financially with dance moms because they are working with them to go around and put on these phony competitions, and I think that kinda stinks. It is “Invitational,” and I do believe they invite the studios where they are pretty confident they will beat their competitors. If In10sity wants to make it more legit, then why don’t they invite ALL of the studios in the area they go to, see who accepts, and then have a real competition. I think if they did that then we would see some strong competition and may see ALDC not even place a lot. There are a lot of really good dancers out there, and I’m sure a lot of them would love to go against ALDC. Dance Moms doesn’t want to take that chance though. They are playing it as if ALDC are THE BEST and if they don’t come in 1st, then they will come in close- of course they added the stupid Cathy angle, which I hate. I think I prefer black patsy to Cathy. IDK, something about Cathy just gets under my skin and I literally feel nauseous to see her or hear her voice.. When they invited Studio Bleu, that was pretty cool because they ARE a really strong studio (which is why they won), but I think they did that because they had a few of those dancers come to ALDC and it made a good story to show the girls going against the girls that replaced them. The girls that replaced the dance moms girls are much better than SOME of our girls- not all- but I would say most. I think only Chloe and Maddie would be in the same league as those studio bleu girls- Bella and Kaylee, I think.

    I can’t wait for Asia and her mom, Kristi, to come on the show. She is not “ghetto” like black patsy, but she won’t take any shit either. I think our Christi and the rest of them better not mess with her kid, because she won’t take it. Also, Asia is a very talented little girl, and she is much younger than the rest. She is over a year younger than Mackenzie, but she will have no problem keeping up with the older girls. And she has way more “face” than Maddie does, that’s for sure. It’ll be interesting.

    Oh, this is funny. This is something that black patsy posted about an hour ago:

    I hate last minute assignments/tests! I was just notified that I have to be on my “best behavior” for competition today & all weekend. I haven’t studied at all! I don’t usually cheat on tests….but I downloaded an app called “Words you do NOT say, Names you do NOT call people”. My co-workers have been teaching me how to make HAPPY faces this morning and they showed me WHERE to keep my hands (in my pocket). Oh the PRESSURE!
    #Black Patsy stays home, KAYA goes to competition.

53. 53
    SarahRita
    Posted March 3, 2013 at 9:39 am

    Abby is such an ugly person inside and out. I do sympathize with the loss of her dog though, in fact I am sitting on my bed squeezing my 110 lbs German Shepherd as I write this, just thinking about the thought of losing him makes me upset. With that said, Broadway Baby looked miserable. As a child my family had a dog who was 17, diabetic, blind, and couldn’t control his bowel movements, so when he passed it was almost a relief to all of us that he wasn’t suffering any longer.

    As for the makeup, it looks as if Chelsea from Teen Mom 2 finally graduated from “hair school” and found a job painting faces on this show.

    All I want out of this show is to see Abby speed date, and Kelly and Christi to become drinking buddies again. Thats all….

54. 54
    dee arpey
    Posted March 3, 2013 at 2:42 pm

    Asia??? Another girl who was pulled from across the USA to add to the ratings.

    Considering how Abby wailed about Asia’s awful feet and her technique on the contest show, let’s see if her thoughts change now. Asia is extra cute, but has rather a one-trick-pony style of dance. I would like to see her do slow lyrical, or real ballet.

55. 55
    TripleThick
    Posted March 8, 2013 at 11:40 am

    Your captions are a work of art. I’m getting the side-eye from all of my coworkers for laughing so hard.

56. 56
    Corinthia
    Posted May 2, 2013 at 6:01 am

    For those that didn’t see it, the “sneak peak” shown this week was actually a little fun.

    The plot of this little vignette was Christi and Kelli becoming determined to actually catch Abby in the act of giving Maddie extra privates in secret, and collecting evidence of such. So, we see them sneaking around with a video camera, and then revealing the video at what looked like a pyramid meeting, followed by the inevitable fallout of course.

    It all struck me as pretty funny, first watching them tiptoeing about with that camera, and then them dramatically proclaiming something like “look, you can see right here, Maddie’s getting a lesson!!!”"

57. 57
    KRB
    Posted May 2, 2013 at 8:57 am

    I just don’t get it, she’s a dance teacher, someone is paying her for a private lesson… what’s the big deal?