Previously: God created the heavens and the earth. Season two of Dance Moms began. Dinosaurs roamed the earth until they got wiped out by a meteor. Maddie did a solo. Humans evolved from single-celled organisms. Twenty-million years later, it’s time for NATIONALS.
Our lovely ladies are still in L.A., still at Millennium studios. Kelly’s still in a cocktail dress.
Kelly’s going to the opera after rehearsal
The girls line up and Jabby growls that IN10SITY was “in10se” and they made a lot of mistakes. They can’t afford to make mistakes this week because, in case you haven’t heard, they are going to NATIONALS. Not only that, they are going to Energy Dance Invitational NATIONALS in the world’s “most famous zip code.” Melissa can’t contain her excitement and blurts out “Let Donna graduate!”
Pyramid. Paige is on the bottom because she forgot her dance last week. Huh? I know she didn’t do her best performance ever, but I don’t remember her forgetting her dance. Jabby says Paige is way more talented than she’s been able to show because of her injury and because of her inability to remember choreography. Nia is next because she could have been better. Then Chloe, because sixth place is not acceptable for her. Kendall rounds out the first row because she beat Chloe last week and did an overall great job. Yet Shrill is still not happy and says Kendall should be higher on the pyramid. Shut up, Shrill.
Second row gives us Brooke, who won overall high score but she could do better and is lazy and needs to dance with her face (I thought that’s what those chin stands were all about). Mackenzie is next because she easily pulled off the difficult tricks but messed up the easy ones. Finally, on top, we have… drum roll… Maddie. Surprise! Well, she did come in first overall last week, so I’ll give it to her.
Time for assignments. Everybody will be dancing in the group number, and it’s called “My Last Text.” Jabby says it should leave the judges “feeling something.” Nauseated?
Jabby has four solo slots available. Mackenzie and Maddie will each do one. Brooke finally gets to do her Anne Frank solo. The last slot is up for grabs and Chloe, Nia and Kendall will have to compete for it. Jabby says this means the girls need to view each other as competitors rather than friends. Way to boost morale ahead of NATIONALS, Jabster.
Group rehearsal. The dance is about a car crash. Paige is at the “wheel” and the girls are all playing with their “phones” until the shit hits the fan. Jabby says if Maddie and her acting skills can pull this off, they will certainly win. All of Jabby’s dances are like after-school specials.
In the moms’ corner, Christi says the plan to make the girls compete for the final solo is “crappy.” Holly suggests that Jabby already has someone in mind and it’s probably not Nia. That’s why they call her DR. Holly – she’s wicked smahhht. Shrill apparently thinks that if she complains incessantly about Kendall beating Chloe, it will get Kendall the solo. Melissa, secure her girls’ solos, says she’s just worried that the other girls won’t be focused in the group dance if they are worried about getting a solo. So concerned, that Melissa.