Previously: There was lots of yelling. I could just stop there, but then I’d have nothing to do for the next 20 weeks. Mackenzie forgot her solo for a split second; Jabby berated Melissa for her life choices and everyone cried, including me.
Melissa kicks us off by saying she’s never been so nervous for a pyramid because of her fight with Jabby and because the girls came in fourth. Jabby lumbers into the studio and says she wants to see what fourth place looks like. She can’t remember the last time ALDC came in fourth place – maybe it was 20 or 25 years ago. Um, they got tenth place last year. Remember? You cried and left in the middle of the competition? I understand wanting to block out all of last season, but the cameras don’t lie. (The editors may, but the cameras don’t.)
This week they are going to Onstage America in Voorhees, NJ and she warns them that they’d better not come in fourth or ELSE.
Pyramid. Mackenzie is last for forgetting her routine and will not be in the group this week. Maddie’s next because she hasn’t been as good as Chloe since NATIONALS. Melissa says “It is what it is.” She’s awfully laid back lately. Just a year ago she was threatening to sue people over less. Paige is next because she thinks third place is good enough. Next is Nia, because she’s doing fine, but fine won’t make her a star.
Second row, we have Kendall, who finally pulled Jabby’s eye in a positive rather than negative way. Shrill is ecstatic, because Kendall’s never been off the bottom row. Then there is Chloe, who looked great, but didn’t follow the exact choreography. Jabby says Chloe needs to do her routines the way Jabby envisioned them or even better if possible.
Finally, who will be on top? Will it be Brooke, who I keep forgetting is still on the team? Nope! It’s a big fat NOBODY.
Jabby says no one in a group that comes in fourth deserves to be on top of the pyramid.
This also means that Brooke isn’t even on the pyramid, for which Kelly offers a half-hearted objection. In response, Jabby asks Brooke if she even wants to be there. It’s clear that Brooke doesn’t, but she imperceptibly nods yes.
I totally want to be here
Kelly interviews that she’s been playing by the rules and doesn’t know what else to do. Then she shrugs and says the pyramid is a “crock of shit” anyway. Heh – finally someone says what we’ve been thinking for three seasons.
This week, Kendall will be doing a solo called Owe You Nothing because Jabby owes her nothing. Nia also gets a solo called 100 Years from Now, because this show will still be annoying me 100 years from now. Chloe gets the last solo called Left in the Dark, despite Christi’s “advocacy” for the other moms. Christi astutely interviews that Jabby is still mad at her over the walkout.