Dance Moms Recap: Gone at the Drop of a Hat


Melissa and Holly are rummage around the coshtume room. Holly asks Melissa what she plans to do about Jabby’s nastiness to her. Melissa says probably nothing because she is not big on confrontation and she appreciates everything Jabby’s done for her and her kids. Melissa says she regrets taking part in the walkout and then starts to cry. Holly says that Jabby can turn on anyone at any given time.

Shrill’s house, where she has called in a designer to make Kendall’s solo coshtume. Shrill says this solo is a big deal for Kendall and she wants her to look amazing even though Jabby always says the coshtume doesn’t make the number. Well, I’m sure that will work out for you. Jabby loves surprises.

At the studio, Jabby’s screaming about the hats and how the group had better not finish fourth or even third. Chloe drops her hat – foreshadowing! – and yelling ensues.

Hey, there’s a puppy in the studio!

Well, “puppy” is a little generous, considering the dog doesn’t look a day over 140 (in dog years). It’s Broadway Baby (R.I.P.!) and Shrill will be dog-sitting for her today. Oh, I’m sorry I called you a “he” in the minicap, Broadway Baby. Jabby tells Shrill she is the bitch’s bitch for the day. Shrill scoops poop and interviews that she’s “honored,” but she hopes Broadway Baby doesn’t go to doggy heaven on her watch. That actually seems like a valid concern. Poor Broadway Baby (R.I.P.!).

This about sums it up

Christi interviews that since Melissa’s on the outs, Shrill is trying to get into Jabby’s good graces by taking care of the dog and maybe she’ll be on top of the mom pyramid this week. Shrill brings BB up to the booth where she barks down at Jabby. Christi says that BB can sense evil. And that’s the end of the dog scene, thank god. I’m so glad we didn’t have to deal with putting her to sleep.

Kendall rehearses downstairs, while upstairs, Shrill tells the moms about the coshtume designer. Melissa warns Shrill not to get yelled at for doing something behind Jabby’s back. Jabby calls the moms downstairs to “go over these rhinestones.” In the course of the conversation, she learns that Shrill has commissioned a gray – not green – coshtume. In case you hadn’t heard one million times in the last fifteen minutes, Jabby does not like when people go behind her back. That’s why she is mad at Melissa right now. Whatever, this is stupid and boring.

Christi asks Chloe if Jabby has started rehearsing her solo yet and she has not. Christi’s annoyed. Holly asks Christi if she’s okay, and when Christi says no, Holly says maybe Christi should go talk to Jabby. Christi says she won’t because “maybe you’ve never met Abby, because she doesn’t HAVE conversations.” Then she snottily says “thanks” to Holly. Holly: “Don’t get snippy with me, miss.” Heh. Holly interviews that Christi has been overreacting and throwing tantrums more than usual lately.

SnoopK8
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Snoop K8 lives in NYC and loves baseball, red wine and Judge Judy (not necessarily in that order).

25 Comments

  1. 1
    wishiwasginger
    Posted February 8, 2013 at 1:36 pm

    HIlarious! Love the Ghostbusters reference. From now on I’m always thinking of Jabby as the Stay puft marshmellow man! How about photoshopping a sailor’s cap on Jabby from now on? On another note, this is beyond rediculous and everyone’s right, the editing is making zero sense. Keep up the good work!

  2. 2
    hlesczyn
    Posted February 8, 2013 at 1:49 pm

    I hope Chloe is gone for good. She needs to be in a pre-professional ballet program and away from ALDC.

  3. 3
    Lilly219
    Posted February 8, 2013 at 2:20 pm

    Can someone tell me how you sew a rhinestone on a costume , I danced competitively and we always glued ours on with a hot glue gun. Why go threw the extra trouble of sewing when the glue gun works fine the rhinestones never fell off , And I don’t know how u would actually sew it on ?? Just curious ? Can anyone help me out ?!

  4. 4
    April
    Posted February 8, 2013 at 2:39 pm

    I think the moms in our old studio used this press thing that attached the rhinestones. Kinda like a button maker. Not sure exactly how it worked.

    You had me cracking up about the Broadway Baby jokes. Poor puppy. I had a zillion year old poodle that reminds me of BB so much. I could laugh about it and still be sad at the same time. We called her zombie dog because she really did look like a zombie she was so freaking old. I loved her like heck though. Its hard to watch so you gotta try to laugh about it.

    Good recap.

  5. 5
    moonbeam1133
    Posted February 8, 2013 at 3:03 pm

    This isn’t on the topic of this episode, but I decided to re-watch all of the old episodes online starting at season 1 episode 1. I’m on season 1 episode 7 so far. It’s crazy how things have changed! Though the moms argue now, they’re much closer (or at least pretend to be closer) now than at the beginning, they didn’t even try to pretend they liked each other back then.

    Cathy was crazy back then, mostly in a “you tell me to do this, so I do the exact opposite just for the hell of it”.

    Finally, I always think Maddie is a little arrogant and have liked her just slightly less than some of the other girls (even though I still think she’s adorable), but man! Her in the first couple episodes, when she’s doing talking heads, she’s reeeeeally arrogant! I like her much more now than back then, she seems to have gained some humility and grace.

    Just some fun facts!

  6. 6
    moonbeam1133
    Posted February 8, 2013 at 3:55 pm

    “Jabby hoists the trophy like the Lion King” – LOL

    Also, how ironic, my captcha is “rodents of unusual size”

    Mackrat anyone? :D

  7. 7
    ANTM Fan
    Posted February 8, 2013 at 4:58 pm

    Ohmigod, you mentioned me in the recap! I swoon!

    I also though the Kendall coshtume drama thing was weird, especially because it ended with Abby saying, “I’m going to the bus.” When Shrill was talking about the coshtume, it sounded like she just hadn’t gotten around to getting it yet, but planned to get it and add the green fabric before the competition. But Abby storming out to the bus suggested that they were about to leave for the competition immediately (unless she just leaves a bus parked in her parking lot at all times…who knows what goes on in that Parking Lot of Horrors?). I’m wondering if they spliced together two different fights.

  8. 8
    dancemoms
    Posted February 8, 2013 at 6:42 pm

    According to i think christis twitter, maybe kellys im not sure, but at pyramid when abby said “drop the hat and your off the team” , she really said “drop the hat and die” they said the editors edited that part. Which would explain why everyone gasspped when she said it . I wonder what the girls father’s think of all this.

  9. 9
    Dani
    Posted February 8, 2013 at 10:13 pm

    I’m sure Chloe is coming back. She and Christi will be “suspended” for a week (so no Chloe/Christi next week), but they’ll be back afterwards. I so, so wish I could read their contracts.. I wonder what their penalty would be to leave.. Ugh.. I just couldn’t take my daughter getting picked on like that. She seems to have lightened up on Paige and Brooke, but she is so mean to poor Chloe, it’s hard for me to even watch..

    Oh, Sophia will be on next week too..

  10. 10
    Tapnfeet99
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 1:20 am

    So jealous you got an in-recap mention ANTM Fan! Lol.

    There are a lot of ways to put on rhinestones, but sewing is not one of them. There is the 80′s style bedazzler which requires a backing that attaches to the front stud (don’t know anyone who still uses this), the hot fix gun that melts hot fix rhinestones that have glue already on them then you attach them when the gun heats the glue to wet, then there is gluing with E6000 (pretty sure this is what the Dance Moms use since they have mentioned it before but I find it extremely messy although fast drying), and my favorite, Jewel Glue (takes awhile to dry but isn’t messy and helps with better placement and you can wash them after just not dry them in the dryer.).

    I have been watching past seasons too and I have to say, I enjoyed the show a lot better back then.

    I LOVED the costumes this week. Actually wore one slightly similar in the past, although not as nice, and was always one of my faves. I love pink and black combos, lace, corsets, fishnets, and pink sparkles.

  11. 11
    April
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 3:55 am

    yeah the bedazzler one is I guess what the moms at my studio used to use. They had to rhinestone up these zoot suits and it took forever and it was a thicker material. They looked so amazing though once they were done. I live for sequins and rhinestones!

  12. 12
    ellemenop
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 7:15 am

    of course christi and chloe aren’t gone for good. this isn’t the first or even the second season — by now, if the moms have ANY brains at all, they MUST have had their lawyers add in SOME sort of clauses into their contracts regarding why they could break contract and leave, and despite all that’s ever gone on, not ONE of them has left for good, so clearly it’s for show.

    @lily219 — i don’t think you CAN sew on rhinestones. i think maybe they were just calling it sewing when they were gluing. i’ve never worked with costumes but i’ve done jewelry design in college, and when i’ve worked with rhinestones i’ve never seen any that could be sewed on. in fact, it wouldn’t make sense — the flat shape in the back allows for the material they use to simulate the “diamond-like” shine to do its job, so changing the proportions would probably compromise that effect. so i think they were just calling it sewing.

  13. 13
    Chicken Lips
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 11:19 am

    I wondered about the sewing too – my theory is they have rhinestones attached to strips of fabric that they sew on so it can be removed and they can use the coshtumes again without rhinestones if needed.

    I don’t even know why I still watch this show – I getting to the point where I’m not able to tolerate the yelling, screaming and belittling. It’s probably just for show (I would hope so – if I was a parent, I’d yank my kid form that school so fast…).

    My captcha is \ear candy\ – clearly the captcha people never hear Jabby screech…

  14. 14
    gun kata
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 7:12 pm

    Sew on rhinestones:
    http://www.fusionbeads.com/All-Swarovski-Crystal-Sew-On-Stones?gclid=CMXe2YbfqrUCFQjNnAod_jcABA#!All-Swarovski-Crystal-Sew-On-Stones

    I’ve never used them or anything, but maybe this is something like they have?

  15. 15
    Anna
    Posted February 10, 2013 at 12:56 pm

    These moms think the sad fame of a reality show is the ticket to real fame and fortune for their daughters, later on, so of course Christi will stay and keep her daughter on the show despite the obvious emotional abuse Chloe is subject to.

    But as an attorney, I can tell you this: Contracts do not create slavery. Emotional abuse, screaming, inappropriate costumes or dances or scenarios, any of that would allow the parents to break the contract without being in breach. There is no contract that forces a parent to keep their child in a horrible situation “no matter what”. They could easily walk away and they know it. They just don’t want to.

  16. 16
    Sunny
    Posted February 10, 2013 at 1:49 pm

    I’m so glad I stuck to my guns and didn’t watch this week (I did read the recap+comments because I’d miss you guys)! This show is such an effing trainwreck. All the moms suck, period!

  17. 17
    bec
    Posted February 10, 2013 at 2:37 pm

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jd9lwZ1SJTQ

    That’s asia’s upcoming DM solo. Same user has the group dance too

  18. 18
    She Stinks!
    Posted February 10, 2013 at 4:23 pm

    Is it just me, or have the last few shows been poorly edited? For some reason, to me, the story doesn’t all fit together. Weird.

  19. 19
    Canadian
    Posted February 10, 2013 at 6:50 pm

    Everyone looks so beaten down! Minus FlAbby, she looks like she has been feasting on the souls of 7 young girls. She really is an evil bitch! The shit she said to Maddy last episode sealed the deal, this is not all for tv. these girls are all going to need therapy.I mainly watch for the girls they are all so sweet. Also not enjoying all the close ups when they dance.

  20. 20
    April
    Posted February 10, 2013 at 9:08 pm

    Are you sure that is Asia? I know some time has passed but she did not dance or look like Asia. The body type did not match unless she slimmed up and grew taller(which can happen with kids her age) and the technique was way better too. If that is Asia than good for her. Technique was her weak point so maybe if nothing else they learned she needs to concentrate more on the little things like pointing toes and better leaps and turns.

    Funny that Abby would even have Asia on the show because Abby did not like Asia that much on AUDC. She had a lot of negative things to say about her including
    she is a squatty pigeon toed nothing.

  21. 21
    April
    Posted February 10, 2013 at 9:22 pm

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PX2ysOz7eLU

    Here is a great video with Jordyn for AUDC dance battling another little girl with hip hop and I loves it. If all the world’s problems were solved with dance battles the world would be a better place.

  22. 22
    Schadenfreude Schadenfreude
    Posted February 11, 2013 at 2:36 pm

    If anyone needs dust rags, the t-shirts Crabby Jabby gave to the Candy Apples boy troupe are being sold on the ALDC’s website. I happened upon them just the night before this episode aired and cracked up laughing when I spotted them on Dance Moms.

    P.S. I didn’t post the URL because I thought the site owner might construe it as advertising. I wouldn’t buy a Crabby Jabby t-shirt if I was naked.

  23. 23
    bec
    Posted February 11, 2013 at 2:51 pm

    Very sure :) she’s in the group dance too

  24. 24
    Moonflwr912
    Posted February 12, 2013 at 4:12 am

    There are rhinestones to sew on costumes. They are actually meant for costumes that get a lot of use, like daily performances. They are not cheap! But they stay on when packed, unpacked, cold storage, bus trips, etc! LOL

  25. 25
    Fishchikk
    Posted February 12, 2013 at 9:03 pm

    Last week, I think Abby purposefully choreographed that atrocious acro I Dream of Jeannie routine so they would get hammered by the “replacements,” thus, creating the opportunity for more drama and yelling. I enjoyed the boys’ dance. It’s hard to judge technique when you ony see a very short, edited version, but it was definitely entertaining. All of Abby’s dances look exactly the same but set to different music.

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