I feel like Jab and Melissa are trying so hard not to laugh. Melissa says that cheating would ruin her kid’s career, while Jabby’s says “forget about your kid’s career, what about my reputation and my name?” Jabby says that Melissa is falling into the other moms’ trap and that the other moms are – you guessed it – jealous.
Jabby interviews that she would NEVER purposely send a kid onstage with a bad CD because it would make her look bad and she’s been doing this for 32 years. Melissa “accepts” this, but says she’s still very mad. Okay, whatever.
These ladies just aren’t good enough actresses to pull this off so I don’t believe any of it. Sorry, Lifetime.
We cut back to the booth, to which Melissa has returned. Kelly asks what she and Jabster talked about as if she weren’t eavesdropping. Melissa says she asked about the CD and that Jabby was mad she would ever even ask that.
Suddenly it’s the next day and the girls are practicing the group number with a GIGANTIC HORROR SPOON.
By the light, of the silvery spoon…
Jabby says the spoon is “fabulous,” there’s just one little problem: it’s so heavy the girls can barely lift it, let alone dance with it. Where does one find a GIGANTIC HORROR SPOON, anyway? Does Jabby have a whole set of freakishly large cutlery at home?
Next, we get three boring scenes rehearsing the three solos and the only noteworthy things we learn are that Nia is doing more mature choreography and Melissa is afraid Mackenzie won’t be able to pick up her choreography because she normally needs two weeks to learn a dance.
Melissa and Holly go to lunch. I don’t think we’ve ever seen just these two interact before, have we? Melissa says she likes Holly because she can talk to her without Holly screaming at her. Melissa says again that neither she nor Maddie did anything wrong in connection with CDgate. Holly says the whole thing escalated quickly and that WWIII erupted. Huh? I have no idea what she’s talking about. The “argument” was nothin’ by Dance Moms standards. Holly says that the moms need to be able to trust each other and they need to resolve their issues.
“My advice? Be excellent to each other”
She says that calling each other cheaters is not very Teamlike. Thanks, Dr. Holly. You should do a radio show.
It’s one day till the competition and the GIGANTIC HORROR SPOON has been placed by a normal-sized banquet serving spoon. Jabby says she’s bummed they had to replace the GIGANTIC HORROR SPOON and she hopes nothing else goes wrong. What could possibly?
Jabby screams at the girls to “SMILE!” Upstairs, Holly snarks “smile while I yell at you!”
Melissa interviews that two teams are coming to kill them and they are doing choreography right out of the Candy Apple’s catalog of fake beef jerky commercials. The moms take yet another opportunity to complain about the overall poor quality of the choreography lately. Christi says the new non-GIGANTIC non-HORROR spoon looks like a wand and that nobody will be able to tell it’s a spoon and what do spoons have to do with anything anyway.
Time for coshtume fittings. Again, what could possibly go wrong? Nia’s costume is her first non-cutesy, mature costume to go with her new non-cutesy mature dance. It looks like she’s wrapped in rope, which goes with the “Bound” theme, I guess.
A little clothesline makes every costume special
Mackenzie’s Daisy costume is cute, but Melissa warns that cute will only take Mack so far if she doesn’t remember the choreography. Way to have faith in your kid, Melissa.
The Silver Spoons costumes are not, in fact, made out of silver spoons, but are pastel-y princess dresses. Unfortunately, there is a problem because instead of all one color, there are two pink, two blue and one green dress. The green dress is Paige’s size, but Jabby determines that Paige will draw focus if she is the only one dressed in green and since she doesn’t have any kind of special part it will make the whole number look weird. So she gives the green dress to Chloe, who is featured in the dance.