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Kelly says she’s “heartbroken” over what happened, but at least she admits it’s her fault. That won’t head off Paige’s future painkiller addiction but it’s a start.
In the Candy Apple’s green room, the kids do their “CADC” chant to psych themselves up for the group dance, with which they hope to beat ALDC by more than one point. Across the hall, Jabby says Johnny Appleseed came to Ohio to plant apple trees and ALDC came to chop them down. The girls chant “chop, chop, chop” which is equal parts cute and creepy.
Christi interviews that she’s concerned about Cathy’s health because she’s been uncharacteristically quiet this competition. Maybe she realized how crazy she appears on TV. I don’t think so, because presumably she saw herself between seasons one and two and yet she was just as nuts in season two. Unless there was no break in filming and she actually didn’t get a chance to change her behavior until season 2A. Actually, that’s probably what happened. Or not. I need to stop thinking about this stuff.
Time for the Apple’s Asian dance. The choreography screams “Dance Moms Miami” and it’s just… well, a little ridiculous.
Christi says Cathy should get a special award for coming up with new ways to use Vivi as a prop. Heh. Free Vivi! Jabby calls it a “Chinese buffet” and says it’s loud and obnoxious just like Cathy. The number finishes up with a gong (of course).
The only thing missing is the old Chinese man saying “Ancient Chinese secret.”
Our girls do their group number next. They are wearing nightgowns and the dance is reminiscent of “Where Have All the Children Gone?” in its Children of the Corn-ness.
However, it is slightly (slightly) less creepy, but only because there are no voiceovers asking WHERE. HAVE. ALL. THE. CHILDREN. GONE. Jabby says the dance is about working in the fields, taking over the crops and chopping down the apple tree. Okay then.
Solo awards. Seventh place is… Paige! Oh dear. Well, better luck next time, Paige. Sixth place is – what’s this? – it’s Chloe! So despite all the carrying on, Paige only placed one step below Chloe. That’s actually pretty good. And they both finished in the top ten which is good too, right? Poor Kendall did not even place, so the conspiracy theory that a skipped CD equals a win does not pan out in this case.
Group awards and the girls get fifth place. They lose to a number called “Schindler’s List.” Apparently “The Killing Fields” number couldn’t make it that day. Sadly, the Candy Apple’s did not place and are losahs once again. Kelly interviews that Paige came to beat Kendall and that’s what she did, even with Kelly’s choreography.
Jabby congratulates both Paige and Chloe and Kelly apparently feels the need to keep poking the bear. She harasses Jabby about underestimating Paige. Jabby says she just needs to see Paige wanting to dance and wanting to win. She says that Paige and Kelly need to trust her. Stop being reasonable, Jabby. We don’t play that shit around here. She interviews that she will never forgive Kelly for putting Paige on the spot.
In the Candy Apple’s green room everyone is sad. Shrill says they should have been in the top five but the music sucked and no one cares but her. She tries to complain to Cathy about everything, but Cathy ignores her. Shrill says her time at the Candy Apple’s may be coming to a close. That is so unexpected! I wonder what will happen!
Out in the hall, Jabby tries to bait Cathy into being crazy on camera, but Cathy’s all set with that. Jabby asks Cathy why she didn’t even have a cocktail party the night before.
She wants to know what happened to Cathy’s “witty repartee.” Cathy interviews that she wants nothing to do with Jabby, her “goon squad” and their typewriter mouths.