Previously on Dance Moms: Sophia had a solo and Maddie didn’t so Kelly told Melissa to suck it up. Brooke got “kicked out” of the group dance. Christi called Jabby a plagiarist. Jabby told Chloe she was “awful.”
We begin this week in the studio and not the parking lot. Congratulations on moving indoors, ladies. Jabby says the girls won in Ohio, as well they should, because they are national champions. Wait – they’re national champions? I hadn’t heard.
Let’s get right to the pyramid – it’s been so long since we’ve had a real one. Chloe is last because she forgot her choreography last week. I do not remember that at all. If I were a truly dedicated recapper, I would go back and rewatch, but I have way more important things to do. Like stalking ex-boyfriends on Facebook.
Jabby yells at her and tells her to write things down if it will help her remember them. Christi actually agrees with Jabby and says that Chloe did indeed forget and needs to take responsibility, so I guess it did happen. But I swear, we didn’t see it, did we? Maybe I WILL go back and watch. (Nah….)
Nia is next because she doesn’t ever apply corrections. Who is this Nia person? I keep hearing about her, but I’ve never seen her.
Oh, there she is. Hi Nia!
Next is Mackenzie. Jabby says she took Mack out of the group, but gave her the special privilege of pulling out the red carpet. Unfortunately, Mack fucked everything up because the carpet kept getting stuck on the stage and if they were being timed, they would have been disqualified. Jabby will never forgive her! Um, I don’t remember it being that big a deal. Did I watch a completely different episode than everyone else last week? As punishment, Mackenzie will not be in any more group numbers until it’s appropriate.
Paige is next because she was mediocre rather than fabulous in her featured role. Then we have Maddie, who is rocking a Sophia-like bun.
Jabby notices and says she wishes Maddie also had Sophia’s energy and turning ability. Melissa interviews that now she knows how the other moms feel when Jabby is mean to their kids.
Kendall is next, but Jabby doesn’t have anything notable to say.
Finally, on top of the pyramid, we have Queen Sophia.
Only Sophia is not there. Jabby says Sophia is still on the team, but she just happens to be in L.A. shooting a movie. So she just up and went to L.A. to shoot a movie in like two days? Okay, if you say so. Jabby says that Sophia’s being in a movie is “another feather in my cap.” How is that a feather in your cap? Sophia was trained by someone else and only danced with you twice. Shut up, Jabby.