Dance Moms Recap: New, But Not Improved


By SnoopK8 | | 11:36 am | 35 Comments
Posted in: Dance Moms, Recaps

Hello from my bed! The good thing about having the Ebola virus is that you don’t have to leave your house when it’s twenty degrees out. I feel sorry for my seamless web deliverymen who have to show up in hazmat suits, but whaddya gonna do?

So, here we are back at another season of Dance Moms, and I feel that they ramped up the fake drama right away.

Last season: Cathy sent a taunting text to Christi right before NATIONALS. Kelly had a nervous breakdown. Jabby screamed that she wanted to see “blood on that dance floor!” And the girls won NATIONALS.

The girls and moms reunite happily in the parking lot. Everyone seems happy to see each other and as they gather in the studio, Christi says the girls are excited to show Jabby how much they’ve improved. But Kelly, Brooke and Paige are not there.

This is completely unforeseen, right? Jabby comes in and is angry they are not there. She rips two pictures off the mirror where the pyramid was set up and says without Brooke and Paige there are not enough people to do a pyramid.

But not only is Jabby mad at everyone who isn’t there, she’s also pissed at everyone else who IS there. Supposedly nobody showed up for all the classes during the break and nobody knows all of the six routines they were supposed to have been practicing. Jabby interviews that just because they won titles, it doesn’t mean they can not take class anymore. She says the break is when you are supposed to set new goals and overcome obstacles so you can improve. 

No pyramid for you!

This week, they will be going to an IN10SITY Dance competition in Denver and she wants them to be the first to know that she will be holding an audition to replace Brooke and Paige. She tells them they had better be nice to whomever she picks.

Chloe raises her hand to ask about solos, but Jabby says not to ask about that because she doesn’t know yet if she’s even going to have them do solos.

Jabby says right now, she’s just worrying about the group number, which will be called Angels and Demons. Tom Hanks will have to save the Vatican from the Illuminati.

Whoa, someone’s aged since Bosom Buddies

Actually, Jabby says it was going to be three angels and three demons, but because Brooke and Paige aren’t there, they will just all have to be demons except Chloe, who will be the angel. The demons will be ripping her apart inside. She wants to let them out, but also wants to hide them from people. So when Jabby goes on a killing spree someday, don’t say there were no warning signs.

Upstairs, the moms are chatting about Kelly not showing up and Holly says that Kelly will not come crawling back. Because she didn’t do that in every episode last season or anything.

SnoopK8
About

Snoop K8 lives in NYC and loves baseball, red wine and Judge Judy (not necessarily in that order).

35 Comments

  1. 1
    pjpape
    Posted January 4, 2013 at 11:56 am

    i thought your recap was great. I cannot beleive how mean the moms were being to the new mom and also feel like it was all a big setup.

  2. 2
    Elaine
    Posted January 4, 2013 at 12:13 pm

    Random Woman is Diane Pent, Brandon’s mom. She traveled with the group for Snapshot in Season 1.

  3. 3
    April
    Posted January 4, 2013 at 12:16 pm

    The mom were really mean and intimidating to the new mom. I doubt they would start out that mean in real life. I do see Christi as being a very good mom to Chloe when she talks to her and I hope that is the real Christi and the rest is an act. I get the feeling that is how it is.

    Ally is very very good. For a 13 year old she was doing some very difficult moves with grace and polish.

  4. 4
    Rebecca
    Posted January 4, 2013 at 1:02 pm

    Is it just me, or does Brooke have a Southern accent? Anyone else notice this?

  5. 5
    Gracie Lou Freebush
    Posted January 4, 2013 at 1:03 pm

    A few observations….

    I had a seriously icky \eww\ moment with that stripper move that Kendall did at the beginning of her routine. I’m sure pedophiles across the land rewound their DVRs to watch it repeatedly. Why would Abby put a move like that in a little girl’s dance routine?

    I liked the new girl Ally and her mom a lot!! Ally was a beautiful dancer and I thought the mom did a good job of standing up to the other moms at the competition.

    I thought it was hilarious how Christi got so offended that Abby swore, when Christi herself has no qualms about swearing on the show in front of her own children and when she knows darn well that lots of kids watch \Dance Moms.\ I guess it’s okay then.

    Jill seems like one of those overbearing, over involved helicopter moms.

    I had the Dance Moms marathon on before the new episode aired, and was struck by how much Kelly WHINED about everything!!! I agree with the person in the minicap who said it was refreshing to not have her on the show. I do miss Paige though.

    According to the TV guide thing on Direct TV, it looks like Kelly may come back the week after next.

  6. 6
    Dani
    Posted January 4, 2013 at 1:18 pm

    Thanks for the recap! I also thought the moms were being really bitchy, and don’t know why they had to be like that. What would they do if they were in Shelley’s place? You know they all would not have gone to the choreographer and ask to have their daughter’s number pulled (the changing the group into a solo..). If they are this jealous of Ally (who is a lovely dancer), wait til next week when Sophia comes. Sophia is the same age and a million times better than the current girls. Maddie’s mom is used to Maddie being the “star,” but there’s no way they can have Sophia there and her NOT be the star, so that’ll be hard on Melissa. Fortunately, I think Sophia stayed only an episode or two, so Melissa won’t have to suffer too long. LOL. Would love to have Sophia there all the time- and I’m sure Abby would too!

  7. 7
    Gracie Lou Freebush
    Posted January 4, 2013 at 2:04 pm

    Whatever happened with the Joffrey scholarship that Chloe won and Maddie supposedly also won? Did they go and receive ballet training I wonder?

  8. 8
    April
    Posted January 4, 2013 at 3:10 pm

    I thought I heard Christi briefly mention something to the other moms about that was why she missed was when she was at the Summer program or something like that.

    I also heard though that they were not even going to let Chloe do the Joffrey thing because of filming for this show conflicted which a lot of people thought was awful.

    So I don’t know.

  9. 9
    Sunny
    Posted January 4, 2013 at 3:22 pm

    Yay, a whole new season of recaps to look forward to!

    I like the new girl and her mom a lot. Ally’s dancing is lovely and it’s nice to have a sweet mom for a change. I’m hoping that the producers have realized they needed a permanent ‘straight man,’ so these two get to stay.

  10. 10
    Ashley
    Posted January 4, 2013 at 5:02 pm

    Ah, it feels so good to be back haha – I love Dance Moms and your recaps! Oh and she was telling that lady to go drive her PAT (Port Authority Transit) bus, that’s what we call our public bus system here in the ‘Burgh.

  11. 11
    Sparkle McSnarkle Sparkle McSnarkle
    Posted January 4, 2013 at 8:33 pm

    This damn show is faker then a Gucci bag in China. I used to love this show season one, but the show has been ruined by the oh-so-apparent set ups and foolery.

  12. 12
    HiMyNameIs
    Posted January 4, 2013 at 11:53 pm

    i love this show and the girls, but i really do worry about them, theyre so young and this whole traveling across the country and fame thing is pretty much all they know anymore, and sadly it isnt going to last forever, and i just feel because the girls are so young it might really impact them negatively. Especially because i’m starting to notice that the moms are getting very big egos,they talk about abby but geeze theyve got no room, i mean christi sounded like a total rude over the top fame whore on that special b4 the episode. Christi has been the worst with it, all she tweets now is info about meet and greets and promotional things, even her apperenence is changing, im sure thats because she is on national tv and obviously wants to look good but i think the whole fan base has really gone to her head & the thing abby said about her telling the crowd at a meet and greet that abby was sick and couldnt make it , is totally true, she made a whole scence about abby not wanting to come out of her hotel room on twitter, when in reality abby wasnt even there. she(christi) has deffff changed i used to think she was the most down to earth, now shes slowly starting to remind me of a kardashian/jenner . anyway i think all the free-bees (such as the iphones ipads, ugg boots, jackets etc) are becoming “normal” to the girls & when it stops since they are so young, i think it may take a negative toll on them. because lets face it normal life is going to have to resume someday eventually the cameras willl go away , the meet and greets will end, the girls will go back to normal school and normal dance lessons, the traveling will stop , the world will be obsessed with someone new & its all going to happen just as fast as it started .. i just hope the moms havent destroyed the girls sense of reality too much .

  13. 13
    smango
    Posted January 5, 2013 at 5:33 am

    All I could think during the random segment with Vivi and Cra Cra Cathy was “FREE VIVI!!!”

    Back to reading.

  14. 14
    SarahRita
    Posted January 5, 2013 at 3:06 pm

    @Rebecca- I noticed the accent! It did totally sound like she had a southern accent!

  15. 15
    TurtleGirl93 TurtleGirl93
    Posted January 5, 2013 at 3:07 pm

    I’m so glad it’s back!! I lurve recaps.
    Feel better, SnoopK8!

  16. 16
    rebecca pressley
    Posted January 5, 2013 at 4:22 pm

    the moms were so mean to the new mom, they reminded me of the rich popular middle school girls who make fun of a new girl in school. And what was with the false eyelashes? Brooke had them, Melissa had them and Abbey had them.

  17. 17
    rebecca pressley
    Posted January 5, 2013 at 4:27 pm

    OH, I forgot….did anyone hear abbey tell Mackenzie that she used to be a dumb little kid?? That was uncalled for!

  18. 18
    gun kata
    Posted January 5, 2013 at 7:05 pm

    I am glad to see the girls back. Yay!

    I wonder why they made such a big deal out of Kendall’s attendance? She just did sort of all right with her solo. Maybe with all going on (plans coming up) they won’t get to feature her the next few episodes? So, they played her up this time?

  19. 19
    Tapnfeet99
    Posted January 6, 2013 at 12:35 am

    Comments from my mom who is a former elementary schoolteacher…
    Regarding Vivi: “someone needs to test that child, there is something definitely wrong with her development. Also, why did Cathy clean her teeth when she was still eating? What is the point of that? They are just going to get dirty on the next bite.”
    Regarding the bakery: “Why am I not surprised that Abby’s favorite childhood haunt is a bakery!”
    Regarding Mack: “when are they finally going to get rid of those cutesy numbers? She’s not a baby anymore.”

    Always entertaining when your mom is addicted to guilty tv as much as you are, if not moreso haha.

    I loved the group number. Can I switch bodies with Chloe? I am so jealous of her long limbs and beautiful lines. I was always the short muscular tap dancer. Did anyone notice Zach from Abby’s Ultimate Dance Competiton was at Candy Apples for her all boys team?

  20. 20
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted January 6, 2013 at 3:40 am

    Vivi’s liberation appears to be somewhat at hand.
    Hallelujer.
    And she did look really…..special in that ice cream store. It breaks my heart how dead that child is inside.
    I just want to run to Ohio, snatch her up, and set her free on an open softball field, where I know her downtrodden and slow little heart longs to roam.

    I feel sad for Abby…that whole episode with Mark was so embarrassing and cringe-worthy, and the way she was crowing about “being somebody” made me want to leap into the screen and hug her. She clearly needs therapy.
    I also got the vibe that Mark might have been just a little bit gay.
    Most straight guys I know wouldn’t remember a girl because she “forgot all the dances”.

    I don’t miss Kelly or sadsack pegleg Paige, but I sure do miss Brooke.

    The girls at that audition were crazy good, and Ally is an amazing dancer.
    I wanted to slap her mom though. She just got on my nerves, pretending like she had never seen the show or like she didn’t know what she was getting into.
    She knew what this was.
    She better learn how to talk back to the moms if she doesn’t want to keep getting punked out by Christie.
    Even Melissa stands up for herself, even if she has to hide behind Abby and an entire legal team to do it.

    Chloe is still my favorite of all time.
    I wish her choreography was more interesting though…can she not do a front aerial?
    But she needs to step it up, because Ally is better than Maddie, so if Ally does solos, she will beat Maddie.
    And then Chloe will be in third, and that’s no place for my little Chlo Chlo.

    Maddy’s dance face is still that of a chipmunk. A chipmunk on a cold winter’s day, looking skyward, hoping and praying (but never quite believing) that somehow, a fresh juicy acorn will fall out of the blue and into its little chipmunky lap.

    Kendall’s dance seemed pretty horrible. All that talk about her coming to dance everyday…I just knew she was gonna go out there and be mediocre. As always.
    Kendall has never struck me as being that awesome, and she whines more than any of the other girls.
    They need to bring back Brooke, kick out Kendall, and replace her with that Russian-looking 10 year old.
    That stripper booty move was gross too.
    Mack also did something similar in the start of her dance too, which was even worse, because the routine was so cutesy. Bending over and popping the booty is not anything that anyone under the age of 16 needs to be doing with their time.

    I think Abby just makes these girls do all the stripper moves that she wants to do and makes them wear all the costumes that she wants to wear but can’t, due to the risk of being arrested and charged with aggravated assault. Aggravated assault upon the eyes and upon common societal decency.
    I also didn’t notice that she had lost weight.
    It’s good for her though and I hope she keeps it up, because I think if Abby was a more reasonable size, she’d be cute and maybe she wouldn’t be so mean and sad. Partially because she’d feel better about herself, and partially because she might get some Vitamin P, which she seems to be so sorely lacking in her life.
    Her face is not bad, especially when she puts on makeup, and her hair is actually pretty.

  21. 21
    April
    Posted January 6, 2013 at 5:21 am

    Yes I saw him on the preview Tapnfeet. I mentioned it on the Minicap.

  22. 22
    April
    Posted January 6, 2013 at 5:25 am

    Ally and Maddie and Chloe would not be really against each other. Ally is 13 so I think she would be teen division? Brooke never was up against Maddie and Chloe for overalls because I think they separate them.

  23. 23
    Dani
    Posted January 6, 2013 at 11:27 am

    Yes, Ally is older, so she wouldn’t compete directly against Maddie, Chloe, Kendall or Paige. BUT, Sophia Lucia who is supposed to be on for a few episodes IS the same age and Maddie will get her little butt kicked by this kid. She’s awesome. If you don’t know about her, go check her out on youtube. Wonderful tapper, which I love. She’s great at all of it, and there’s no way she won’t be the star if she’s there, which will make Melissa crazy I’m sure.

    I’m not a fan of Kendall. I think she really is pretty average to be honest. Chloe and Maddie are the only ones who stand out to me as being really good dancers (aside from, of course, new girl Ally who won’t be there much longer). Paige, Brooke, Kendall and Mackenzie are good at acro, but pretty average in dance, in my opinion.

  24. 24
    Cheergirl
    Posted January 6, 2013 at 11:48 am

    so the show is trying to tell me that someone who lives in new orleans traveled to pittsburgh to audition and be part of a team that performs weekly? just like that black girl who came last season and lived in another state or like when kendall was traveling to ohio to be part of candy apples? how dumb are we supposed to be?

  25. 25
    April
    Posted January 6, 2013 at 1:29 pm

    I agree with Dani’s assessment of the dancers. I would not say Paige, Brooke, Kendall or Mack or Nia are average but they are not outstanding. Brooke could be outstanding if she was more dedicated. They are above average. Then you have Maddie and Chloe who are outstanding.

    Sophia Lucia is amazing and since tap is my favorite I am in absolute awe of her. Can’t wait to see her!

  26. 26
    Sarah
    Posted January 7, 2013 at 1:42 am

    Here are a few interesting spoilers:

    http://www.dancershalloffame.com/minis/sohpia-lucia

    http://dancemoms.wikia.com/wiki/Sophia_Lucia

    How do you guys all know about this kid? I had never heard of her.

  27. 27
    bec
    Posted January 7, 2013 at 4:02 am

    “Tapnfeet99
    Posted January 6, 2013 at 12:35 am
    Comments from my mom who is a former elementary schoolteacher…
    Regarding Vivi: “someone needs to test that child, there is something definitely wrong with her development.”

    Vivi is adopted from a Guatemala. A lot of children (esp from foreign countires) who are adopted have attachment or emotional disorders, and occassionally developmental delays. Most catch up by early teens. I dare say Cathy has already had her checcked by the dr and I’m sure she is fine, she will catch up in her own time.

  28. 28
    April
    Posted January 7, 2013 at 4:48 am

    My husband brought up a good point about these over the top amazing dancers like Sophia Lucia. What are they going to do when they grow up? I mean think about it. She can get a job on Broadway but no one else is going to be as good as them. So basically she will spending the rest of her life dancing down to match everyone else and not outshine the star. My husband said “And when she grows up she can get a job dancing in a music video but having to dance down so she doesn’t outshine the pop star.”

    Kinda makes me depressed because it is probably true. I know how much dancing down sucks. When you are good, you just want to do it and show it. I hated being told not to kick so high or spin as much. It breaks your spirit not to just dance and let it go. Just dancers don’t have much of a solo career typically. You need to sing and act to be the star. Maybe just dancing in the chorus is enough for them. Being a Rockette would have been enough for me. But I also was not as good as say Sophia Lucia. She is too good for that.

    Attachment disorders Bec are a serious matter. My friend adopted her SIL’s kids when they were fairly young but the damage had already been done. She never formed a good bond with them and they got to be teenagers and threatened to kill her and her younger kids and her husband. She found elaborate plots about it in their room. They feared every time they went to sleep they would get their throat cut. They eventually had to have them out of the house and given to the State. Unfortunately I see that in Vivi. It makes me sad. And my friend is a normal nice mother, not nuts like Cathy so it might be even worse.

  29. 29
    April
    Posted January 7, 2013 at 5:17 am

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBumqI3YiY4

    For your delight. Jordyn Jones schooling Mia Diaz in a street dance off. Love my girl Jordyn!

  30. 30
    princessloli
    Posted January 8, 2013 at 5:24 pm

    The radio station I listened to did an interview with Abby today. She said that she might get in trouble for saying it, but the moms on the show aren’t just on contract with Abby, but with Lifetime as well, so she doesn’t have the power to get rid of them no matter what they do. Which obviously means that we will still see Kelly and Brooke and Paige again every episode and that the whole “audition new girls” plot was just a front by the producers to create drama.

  31. 31
    Ari
    Posted January 8, 2013 at 9:39 pm

    Sarah, interesting that one of the videos in your link for Sophia started with the announcer saying the entry would not be judged and that it was for TV purposes only. More fakeness?

  32. 32
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 12:20 am

    If you go back and watch season 1 you can tell the only things wrong with Vivi (besides having to live with Crazy Cathy) is that she doesn’t like being on tv and can’t dance for shit.

    She’s just a regular little girl. Except she’s going to be drop dead gorgeous when she grows up.

    What happens is we get used to watching the 1s that like being on the show and performing. But most people don’t want a camera in their face. Or to get on stage. Whether they’re kids or adults.

    FREE VIVI!

  33. 33
    rebecca pressley
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 5:35 am

    When I took dance lessons in the 80′s, our mothers dropped us off and left. Do the moms on Dance Moms not have anything else to do but gossip and act like middle school girls?
    Something else I wonder about: When a spot comes open on the competition team, why doesnt a student from within the ALDC get that spot??

  34. 34
    SaraKate
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 8:57 am

    Rebecca – it depends on the studio. The studio I managed had one-way mirrors/glass so a lot of moms DID sit in the hallway and watch the kids – we had benches and toys for the younger siblings to play with.

    As to why an ALDC kid doesn’t get that spot…well, I’m guessing no one wants to sign the contract with Lifetime!!

  35. 35
    April
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 9:31 am

    I feel like over time parents have become more helicopter into their kids activities. Not all parents, but more. They come and stay the entire practice and watch and are there for every little thing the entire time. My mother always dropped me off too and when I could drive, I drove myself. She only came to my recital and to the local competitions. We went as a group out of town and not all the parents came. You did your own hair and make up and we helped each other. The moms of the younger girls were usually on the out of town trips but they did not watch every practice. There was not even really a place to sit and watch.

    I am not putting my kids into activities until they are old enough to decide on their own what they want to do and be old enough to be dropped off. I am not devoting my whole life to sitting there and being somewhere like that.

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