Hello from my bed! The good thing about having the Ebola virus is that you don’t have to leave your house when it’s twenty degrees out. I feel sorry for my seamless web deliverymen who have to show up in hazmat suits, but whaddya gonna do?
So, here we are back at another season of Dance Moms, and I feel that they ramped up the fake drama right away.
Last season: Cathy sent a taunting text to Christi right before NATIONALS. Kelly had a nervous breakdown. Jabby screamed that she wanted to see “blood on that dance floor!” And the girls won NATIONALS.
The girls and moms reunite happily in the parking lot. Everyone seems happy to see each other and as they gather in the studio, Christi says the girls are excited to show Jabby how much they’ve improved. But Kelly, Brooke and Paige are not there.
This is completely unforeseen, right? Jabby comes in and is angry they are not there. She rips two pictures off the mirror where the pyramid was set up and says without Brooke and Paige there are not enough people to do a pyramid.
But not only is Jabby mad at everyone who isn’t there, she’s also pissed at everyone else who IS there. Supposedly nobody showed up for all the classes during the break and nobody knows all of the six routines they were supposed to have been practicing. Jabby interviews that just because they won titles, it doesn’t mean they can not take class anymore. She says the break is when you are supposed to set new goals and overcome obstacles so you can improve.
No pyramid for you!
This week, they will be going to an IN10SITY Dance competition in Denver and she wants them to be the first to know that she will be holding an audition to replace Brooke and Paige. She tells them they had better be nice to whomever she picks.
Chloe raises her hand to ask about solos, but Jabby says not to ask about that because she doesn’t know yet if she’s even going to have them do solos.
Jabby says right now, she’s just worrying about the group number, which will be called Angels and Demons. Tom Hanks will have to save the Vatican from the Illuminati.
Whoa, someone’s aged since Bosom Buddies
Actually, Jabby says it was going to be three angels and three demons, but because Brooke and Paige aren’t there, they will just all have to be demons except Chloe, who will be the angel. The demons will be ripping her apart inside. She wants to let them out, but also wants to hide them from people. So when Jabby goes on a killing spree someday, don’t say there were no warning signs.
Upstairs, the moms are chatting about Kelly not showing up and Holly says that Kelly will not come crawling back. Because she didn’t do that in every episode last season or anything.
Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10