Jabby interviews that she’s nervous to have to depend on Chloe to carry the team, since Chloe is just the worst ever. Jabby wishes Maddie would recover from her emotional trauma and go back to being a winner so Jabby can sleep at night.
Up in the booth, Holly says she just wants Jabby to do her job and that job means staying at competitions until the last bitter moment. Christi calls Jabby a despicable person (shocking), while Kelly wonders if Jabby will leave every time something goes wrong. Melissa is sitting there trying to be invisible, but Christi and Kelly have a script to follow so they ask her what she thought about Leaving-NJ-gate.
Remember when I got secretly engaged and threatened to sue you guys? That was fun, huh?
Melissa breaks rank with Jabby and says she’s upset because Jabby had told her she was leaving because Jabby’s mother was sick. They determine that Melissa knew the whole time that Jabby was planning to leave and that Melissa actually called the car that came to get her. Christi and Kelly start harping on the fact that Jabby lied to Melissa and tell her she should confront Jabby about it. Melissa interviews (correctly, I think) that Kelly and Christi don’t care at all that Jabby lied to Melissa, they just want to cause trouble and drama. Kelly and Christi causing chaos? Curses!
Opening shots at Melissa out of the way, Christi changes gears and says on the bright side, at least they are going to L.A.! Yay, six hours on a plane with people you hate. What could be better? Melissa says she’s just glad that Crazy Cathy won’t be there because she acts very obnoxious in the audience and oh yeah, she’s NUTS. Christi says she’s never seen someone so happy to get ninth place and does a turkey call to imitate Cathy.
The turkey call shepherds us to Ohio where we are reunited with our crazy Apple’s. Cathy brags that they “upstaged” Abby’s dancers by beating them by one point or whatever. She even has a cake to commemorate this great moment in her life. Sadly, the cake is not made of beef jerky, but it does include the errant apostrophe.
Shouldn’t that say “Congratulation’s Candy Apple’s”?
The Apple’s are celebrating not just their triumphant ninth place victory, but also the fact that Broken-Ankled Taylor is coming back from her injury. Wow, that was a fast recovery, considering she just broke her ankle two or three weeks ago. The show isn’t manipulating the timeline at all, right? Taylor limps out with crutches and a huge boot thingy on her foot. Cathy tells Taylor it’s time to “boot the boot.” Wow, Cathy. You should do stand-up.
Cathy says the Apple’s have been rehearsing like crazy – crazy being the operative word – and they are going to beat Abby Lee Dance Company. No resting on ninth-place laurels for her. She toasts them with champagne. Well, I’m assuming it’s sparkling grape juice since these are 9-year-olds, but it is Cathy, so who knows. In Cathyland, it’s not the age you are, it’s the age you use to illegally enter competitions.
Back in PA, Jabby yells at Chloe that everything is riding on her solo, including Jabby’s business, the 2012 presidential election, the fate of Syrian refugees and melting glaciers. Jabby says (more or less) that she’s only getting on Chloe’s back because Chloe is not Maddie. Christi interviews that she thinks Jabby is setting Chloe up to fail. Oh please. It’s not like she’s making her do a duet with Hannah.
Up in the booth, Christi and Kelly are still egging Melissa on to go talk to Jabby about leaving NJ. Oh good lord, are we still on this? Melissa interviews that the other moms are bullying her to confront Jabby while she would prefer to threaten her with legal action in private.