Previously on Dance Moms: Kelly whined endlessly about…everything. Mackenzie came in first overall and second place is still first loser.
The girls lollygag into the studio as Jabby screams that they should all be pushing each other out of the way to be the first one in. I can see them pushing each other to get OUT, but to get in, not so much. Jabby bellows that any other teacher would be happy with a second place group win and first place overall solo, but that’s not good enough for her. Kelly interviews that it’s a gift from god they did THAT well, considering the crappy choreography.
Paige and Brooke remain at the bottom of the pyramid and on probation, because Jabby says they should have lobbied to do their solos. Kelly interviews that Jabby always does the exact opposite of what she asks for, so why bother asking her for anything. Nia is next, because she did a good job, but not a great one. She finished in the top ten, but she still needs to pay attention to her technique.
Chloe is back on the second row. Jabby says she had a good weekend and fixed some of her issues. Maddie is next because her solo was outstanding and she did a beautiful job in her duet with Chloe. On top of the pyramid is Mackenzie, who won first place overall and got her first crown as Petite Miss Energy Dance. I have no idea what that means, but I guess it’s good, right?
This week they are going to Starpower in Woodbridge, VA. BUT, my friends, this is not just ANY competition. This is the 25th anniversary of Starpower and it is the BIGGEST COMPETITION IN THE HISTORY OF DANCE. I know this because Jabby says it approximately 9,674,284 times this episode. I would tell y’all to drink every time she says it, but I need you to stay alive to read these recaps.
Maddie and Chloe will each do a solo, and since Mackenzie proved she can run with the big dogs, she will also be in the group number this week. At this point, Hostage Brooke asks if she can skip the comp because this weekend is her first school dance. Jabby says if she were Brooke, SHE wouldn’t ever ask to go to a school dance or anything fun with friends, but it’s Brooke’s life and Brooke might as well ruin it. Jabby interviews she doesn’t want to deal with a “miserable,” “rotten” Brooke all weekend so she agrees to let her go to the formal with a warning that “Everyone is replaceable.” I think at this point Brooke would pay a million bucks for someone to replace her.
The group dance is called The Huntress and it’s based on The Hunger Games and involves “children killing each other to survive,” or, as I like to call it, “junior high.”
Jabby sour grapes that they don’t need Brooke, they need a leader. That leader, this week, will be Peyton from the bully episode. Christi can barely contain her happiness over this, and by happiness I mean the complete opposite.
She wonders why they even need another girl, since they already have five people and they only need four to do a group number. Kelly says that Jabby is trying to make the point that “everyone is replaceable.” Christi rolls her eyes so strenuously, I’m surprised she doesn’t hurt herself. Also, we get it. EVERYONE IS REPLACEABLE.
Holly notes that Peyton didn’t work out the first time, so why bring her back now? We get a flashback to the bully dance when Peyton said in front of them all that she thought she was the balls and they all sucked. Christi says that Peyton is too old and that Jabby’s using her to drive up the age. Christi is extra shrill this week. Then Kelly says she’s concerned because rumors of bullying have been swirling around Peyton. Gee, I wonder where those rumors came from. In a completely fake conversation, Kelly tells Christi that Peyton pushed Paige and knocked her down a couple of weeks ago. Christi says “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” (drink!), in reference to Peyton’s mom Leslie.