Group dance. Holly interviews that Jabby does “weird” well and The Huntress is “one more chalk on her board,” which does not even make sense, but Holly has a Ph.D. so I am probably just too dumb to understand it. Mackenzie stumbles a little, but it’s no biggie. Peyton goes through all the girls and symbolically “kills” them. She doesn’t eat them, though. Points off for the lack of cannibalism?
Oh, I guess Peyton only did half the number of turns she was supposed to, which Jabby yells at her for. Oops.
Group awards. Uh-oh, the winner is only separated from second place by one-tenth of a point… and second place goes to… The Huntress. Melissa is worried because she knows Jabby HATES coming in second. First loser and all.
Jabby interviews that she’s not ungrateful, but one-tenth of a point could have been one knee that was straighter or one extra turn. Sadly, they’ll never know what could have been and their dreams have all been crushed forever.
In the green room, Jabby asks Peyton how she thought she did. The world teeters on the edge of its collective seat while it waits to see what she will say. OMG, will she be cocky??!1!! I guess not because I didn’t write it down so I guess it was no big deal. If it was, I apologize.
Time for solos. Chloe’s will be up first and she is nervous.
I guess maybe she didn’t realize that she had to go on so soon or something? I don’t know. They try to fake us out and pretend that Chloe wasn’t going to go on, but she does and it’s fine. Not as sharp as usual, but it’s okay. Christi interviews that she looks amazing, but – wait for it – her choreography sucks. Another fake meme that Lifetime is trying to advance.
(By the way, why all the fake shit, Lifetime? It’s SUPER annoying. I feel like people would still watch the show without it. Give your audience a little credit. Of course this is the network that periodically brings us reruns of Mother May I Sleep with Danger, so there you go.)
SO ANYWAY, up next is Maddie. I thought she did really great this week. She was clean and sharp and did a great little series of turns. Her face still bugs the hell out of me though.
Solo awards. Chloe gets second runner-up for Junior Miss Starpower, so that’s third place, right? If first runner-up is second place? (Yeah, I’m a genius, don’t hate me.) Maddie wins and becomes the next Junior Miss Starpower. She won THE BIGGEST COMPETITION IN THE HISTORY OF DANCE!!! What could possibly top that? Perhaps a second secret solo?
Christi of COURSE complains that it’s because Maddie had better choreography, but I think that Maddie was the better dancer this week. So shut it, Christi. Leslie reads my mind and tells Christi that she’s being a sore loser. Christi screeches – again with the shrill – that Chloe was fabulous but her choreography sucked. Seriously, this is SO FUCKING STUPID. No one believes it. (Do they?)
All of a sudden Jabby comes in to “announce” that she’s taking Maddie up the street to compete at the other venue. Melissa’s all, “what is this other venue of which you speak?” And again, Melissa’s a shitty actress so this is – again – soooooooo stupid. Like, we’re really supposed to believe that Melissa’s just gonna traipse up the street with Maddie and Jabby and just leave Mackenzie there with no discussion?
After they “leave” (I’m just going to start putting everything in quotes because this shit is so stupid), Leslie says to Christi that she should have spoken up to Jabby about secretly entering Maddie into another solo and not Chloe.
You complain about everything else. Why not this?
Kelly pretends to be miffed and says it’s funny how Jabby just happened to have brought a costume for Maddie to do her other solo. Kelly says “guaranteed, she practiced that solo this week.” Nothing gets by you, Kelly. But she does make a good point in her interview. If Jabby really were to have sprung the second solo on Maddie last-minute, Maddie probably would have had a nervous breakdown.