Good morning, Gasmii. Is it really true that we are at the end of our journey together? I would not be surprised if Lifetime added a Dance Moms: Where Are They Now? episode next week. But barring that, it looks like we are finally at the end of the line. Holla!
Unnecessary Dance Moms Reunion Part 2 is still being moderated by Executive Producer Jeff Collins, whose job is to ask boring questions and then change the subject when the answers get interesting.
How about those Steelers?!
We pick up where we left off last week, with Crazy Cathy joining the moms on the couch. Jeff reminds us that Cathy likes to be the center of attention and proves it by showing footage from last season of the moms’ recital debacle. Jeff asks if the whole thing was planned and Cathy says of course, because she was working with inept people (the other moms) and she didn’t want to let Jabby down. Jabby says the dance never should have seen the light of day and that Cathy should never have put 40-year-old women in stirrup-pants. So much for gratitude, eh Cathy?
Jeff further baits Cathy by mentioning the fact that the Candy Apple’s have only beat ALDC once and only by a fraction of a point. Cathy claims the Candy Apple’s have beat Jabby’s girls LOTS of times. Mostly in the Niagara Falls area. But Cathy admits that Jabby’s girls have star power and that she needs to work on that. Is that a shill for Starpower dance competitions? You still won’t win, Cathy.
Jeff asks Cathy if she was sad to see Shrill and Kendall leave. Cathy says no way because Shrill whines too much and never gave Cathy an engraved bench and a happy ending massage like she did Jabby. Shrill, ever the drama queen, says that Cathy broke Kendall’s heart. Yeah, I’m sure Kendall was sad to have to drive two hours each way to dance with 25-year-olds and Vivi.
Jeff then asks Cathy about her propensity for breaking rules and we see footage of the competition where Cathy tried to sneak 14-year-old Erika into a junior number and Cathy was all, “but Jabby’s doing it too!” and she got pwned because Brooke actually was only 13 or something like that. Aww, that was my first recap. And then last season when Cathy gave Taylor the same music as Chloe right before NATIONALS and Chloe freaked out and never danced again. And then there’s that whole Cathy-using-Vivi-to-bring-down-the-age-of-the-group thing. Cathy says that Jabby does the same thing and that the Candy Apple’s aren’t really that old, they just LOOK really old. Yeah, the oxygen tents aren’t helping.
Jeff then asks why Cathy brings in guest choreographers. Cathy says that everyone does it and it’s just for fun, not a mechanism to win. Good thing, because that’s a lot of money down the drain.
Jeff is done with Cathy so he turns to Kelly and asks why she and Jabby hate each other so much. Kelly says because they have known each other since Kelly was 2 and ½ years old and Jabby is jealous of her. Christi says something about Kelly stealing some guy that Jabby liked 30 years ago, but Kelly says she never dated the guy (who was 18 to her 14). Shrill says Kelly didn’t date him, she just “did” him. Where has this fun non-shrill Shrill been the whole time? Taking money out of guy’s crotches and making sex jokes, indeed. You go girl.